Chapter 18: Good Person, Bad Person
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 18: Good Person, Bad Person
As she neared the source of the sound, she saw Herdin retching in a corner of the garden.
Blair hurried toward him.
“Are you al—”
But the moment she tried to rub his back, Herdin roughly shoved her away.
“Get lost!”
At his furious shove, Blair stumbled backward and fell with a thud.
Her backside throbbed from the impact, but the shock of the situation was far greater than the pain. It was the first time anyone had ever shown her such blatant hostility.
Though dazed, her concern for Herdin overrode everything else. Blinking away her confusion, Blair quickly scrambled back to her feet.
“Are you okay?”
Seeing Blair on the ground, Herdin’s eyes wavered for an instant before turning cold again. If anything, he became even harsher.
“Didn’t you hear me? I said get lost.”
Any courtesy owed to an Imperial Princess was long gone.
Herdin took another threatening step toward Blair and spat his words.
“Get lost if you don’t want to die.”
A chilling killing intent laced his voice.
Blair instinctively shrank back from the murderous aura, a sensation she had never felt before in her life. Yet, the moment she looked into his eyes, she couldn’t bring herself to run. No, she didn’t want to.
Though he spat harsh words, the boy’s tormented blue eyes looked so terribly lonely.
Suddenly, she remembered what Esmeralda had said yesterday.
‘To be honest, Herdin isn’t a warm child. He has many deep emotional wounds, so he’s awkward with people.’
Just as she’d said, Herdin was neither warm nor the “good person” Blair had claimed he was.
But…
‘He’s not a bad person either.’
He was just a boy struggling to cope with the grief that had been left behind.
“Just wait a moment!”
Staring up at Herdin, Blair was struck with an idea. She turned and dashed back into the banquet hall, quickly grabbing her things before rushing back out.
She had been taught that running was unladylike, but Blair was in a hurry. It felt just like when she would rush to bring food to a stray cat in the backyard.
“Huff… huff…”
When she returned, Herdin was gone.
After searching the garden, Blair found him on the opposite side of the wall where he had first been. He was sitting with his back against it, his face buried in his knees.
‘Is he really sick?’
Remembering how he had been retching, Blair worried she should have brought medicine instead as she approached.
Just then, a sigh escaped Herdin, his face still hidden. The rough voice of a boy on the cusp of manhood followed.
“……Why did you come back?”
Though he was clearly annoyed, this time he made an effort to speak politely.
Before he could push her away again, Blair quickly pressed the item she had brought into the hand resting on his knee.
“I’ll lend you this.”
Only then did Herdin lift his head to see what was in his hand. It was a pair of fur earmuffs.
“They’re rabbit fur earmuffs. If you wear them, they block out sound pretty well.”
These would block out those whispers, even if only a little. Since it was winter, no one would think it strange for him to be wearing them.
“And they’re warm and really soft.”
The rabbit fur was incredibly soft. The texture was so pleasant that she always wanted to touch them. Stroking the fur usually made her feel better.
‘Maybe this will make the Duke feel better, too.’
Herdin looked back and forth between the earmuffs and Blair’s sparkling eyes, his expression bewildered. Just as he was about to say something—
“Your Highness! Are you here?”
The voice of a maid searching for Blair echoed through the garden.
Hearing the approaching footsteps, Blair jumped to her feet. If Herdin was caught hiding here, his efforts to endure the banquet would be for nothing.
“I’ll keep today a secret.”
Leaving Herdin behind, Blair quickly rounded the corner and hurried toward the maid. Though her hands felt empty without the earmuffs, her heart felt light.
That night, before going to sleep, Blair made her wishes as she always did.
Please let Mother love me.
Please let Mother and Her Majesty the Empress get along.
To the wishes she made every day, she added one more that night, just for someone else.
I know I don’t like him for taking all of Her Majesty the Empress’s attention…
‘Still, please let Duke Delmark be happy.’
* * *
“So Her Majesty the Late Empress arranged your first meeting with the Duke?”
Agnes listened intently, showing genuine interest in Blair’s story, even though it had nothing to do with her.
Blair had only told Agnes about playing a card game with him the day before the New Year’s Festival and that he had attended the banquet. She left out the part where he’d fled that day.
It was a long time ago, and even if someone found out now, no one would dare mock the man he had become.
For the Herdin of today was the empire’s greatest knight, a war hero.
But even if the secret of that night no longer held any weight, she didn’t want to turn his old wounds into fodder for gossip.
“For a connection that started in childhood to bear fruit in marriage… what a romantic story.”
“Is it?”
“Of course. It’s the kind of story every young girl dreams of. And to think that partner is the Duke… Though, of course, it was your love that truly completed the romance, Madam.”
Blair looked at Agnes, puzzled by her meaning.
“Because you are the one who cherished that memory, Madam. You must have many other memories from that festival, yet the one you cherish is centered on the Duke, isn’t it?”
At Agnes’s words, Blair’s eyes blinked slowly in surprise. It was a perspective she had never considered.
Agnes smiled gently.
“You must love the Duke very much, Madam.”
Blair mulled over her words, a faint, wan smile touching her lips.
Yes, she had loved him. Perhaps, just as Agnes said, she had been drawn to him ever since that New Year’s Festival.
But not anymore.
Still, as the Duchess, she couldn’t very well tell a stranger that she didn’t love the Duke. There was, however, one thing she could say with absolute certainty…
“……I loved those days.”
The days when she had liked him so purely, when those feelings were not a sin.
Agnes nodded in agreement.
“Sometimes, the memory of a happy moment becomes the strength that carries you through a lifetime. I hope this year’s New Year’s Festival brings you another memory that gives you such strength, Madam.”
This year’s New Year’s Festival was something Blair had already experienced.
‘Come to think of it, what happened during this year’s New Year’s Festival?’
Blair paused, searching her memories.
That’s when she remembered. She remembered the accident that had occurred on the day of the New Year’s Festival before her regression.
* * *
That night, Blair paced her room, tracing her lips with her fingertips. The memory of the New Year’s Festival had suddenly returned.
An accident had occurred.
A magical beast had appeared at the Imperial Hunting Ground during the traditional hunt where the heads of noble houses and their ladies gathered offerings for the gods.
The reason Blair hadn’t remembered it right away was because she had caught a cold and couldn’t attend the festival that day.
She had only heard about the incident from Lina the next morning, after her fever had broken.
Lina told her that Herdin, who had been present, had slain the magical beast. Thanks to him, though some were injured, there were no casualties. Herdin had returned drenched in the beast’s blood, but he himself was unharmed.
‘What should I do…?’
If events unfolded exactly as they had before, it would pass without any major problems. But what if the changes she’d already made caused it to unfold differently? Conversely, what if trying to stop it only made things worse?
Countless possibilities swirled through her mind. She couldn’t tell what the right answer was.
Above all, she hesitated to warn him because she had no way to explain how she knew this.
Not without telling him that she had undergone regression.
Would Herdin actually believe such an absurd story—that she had returned to the past?
‘But he believed me about Lina.’
Without asking any questions or demanding explanations, he had protected her and punished the maids.
Then perhaps, just maybe, he might believe her this time too. Even though this was far more absurd than the matter with Lina.
But even if he didn’t believe her, she had to tell him.
Because it was better to be prepared than to be caught unaware.
By now, Herdin should have returned home.
After agonizing over her decision, Blair went to Herdin’s room. She knocked a few times, but there was no response.
‘Is he already asleep?’
He wasn’t one to go to bed early, but considering tomorrow’s schedule, it was a possibility.
Just as she was debating whether to return to her room, a voice spoke.
“What brings you here at this hour?”
Turning, Blair’s eyes met Herdin’s. He was leaning casually against the wall with his arms crossed, watching her. He wore a loose nightgown, looking as though he had just finished bathing.
Meeting his blue eyes, shrouded in the dim light, felt like being caught in the gaze of a predator.
“……I have something I must tell you.”
Speaking with a solemn air, her pale cheeks were flushed red from the cold. Herdin stared at her quietly before stepping into his room.
Blair followed him inside. The warm air thawed her chilled body.
Taking long strides to the table, Herdin moistened his throat with a sip of whiskey and turned back to her.
“So, what did you have to say?”
“A magical beast will appear at the hunting ground tomorrow. I think it would be best to scout the area before the hunt begins.”
Herdin’s brow furrowed at the sudden, bizarre statement.
“Where did you hear that?”
It was the reaction she had expected.
After a moment’s hesitation, Blair spoke carefully.
“I… can see the future.”
Herdin stared at Blair as she spun this absurd tale, then let out a hollow laugh. He recalled what Ruth had said on the night Blair visited the guild a few days ago.
Why had she come to him in the dead of night to spin such nonsense? What on earth was she plotting behind that innocent face?
The crooked smile faded from his lips, leaving only a cold gaze.
“And you expect me to believe that?”
“I know it sounds absurd, but there’s no harm in taking precautions…”
Blair’s words died in her throat as he suddenly strode toward her. His chilling aura made her instinctively take a step back.
Herdin wrapped an arm around her waist, cutting off her retreat.
“Her—”
As she tried to push him away in surprise, his lips drew close to hers. So close that they would touch if she so much as breathed.
Stopping just a breath away, Herdin whispered.
“Then, why don’t you predict what I’m going to do next?”
His icy blue eyes pierced down like daggers.