Chapter 135: To You, Whom I Meet Again
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 135: To You, Whom I Meet Again
An orange glow from the sunset crept across the floor, touching her feet.
Sensing the encroaching light, Blair’s eyelids fluttered before she slowly opened them.
Blinking blankly, she remembered what had happened just before she collapsed and hurriedly fumbled for her stomach.
A familiar voice spoke from beside her.
“The baby is safe.”
Only then did Blair let out a sigh of relief and turn toward the sound.
In the dim shadows untouched by the sunset, her gaze met a pair of blue eyes watching her. He was still in the same clothes he had worn in the square.
Blair slowly sat up, scanning him as she asked, “Are you alright?”
He seemed fine on the surface. But instead of answering, he let out a hollow laugh—one that sounded dangerously close to a sob.
Just as Blair sensed the subtle shift in the air, Herdin opened his tightly shut lips.
“Didn’t you hate me?”
Blair blinked, unable to comprehend his sudden question.
Herdin swallowed hard, pushing back a wave of emotion as he added, “You remember everything. What I did to you in our past life, and how deeply I hurt you.”
At the mention of a “past life,” Blair’s bewildered eyes began to tremble.
“You shouldn’t have married me again.”
Now that he had regained his memories, everything she had ever said to him clicked into place, overlapping perfectly with her past self.
‘I prefer a relationship with clear boundaries over one built on hollow promises of eternity. A transactional arrangement where you get exactly what you give.’
He finally understood why she had said those words when she proposed their contract marriage.
‘Asiel...’
He knew who she had been calling for so desperately in her sleep.
‘That cleric from earlier—she is the woman you will fall in love with.’
And he knew what she must have felt as she said those words, watching him stand before Miella.
Only now did he understand.
Only after he had inflicted so much pain on her all over again.
Despite everything, the sight of the imprint on her collarbone in this life devastated him more than any physical blow ever could.
“You should have—”
Herdin closed his eyes, struggling against the emotions choking him.
Even now, he could feel her small, cold body in his arms. He could see his past self—the last image she would have seen before she died.
He opened his eyes, clenching his fists so hard his knuckles turned white. A choked, raspy voice scraped its way from his throat.
“You should have hated me…”
Tears spilled from Blair’s blank eyes as she stared at him. Seeing them, he felt an overwhelming urge to fall to his knees.
Herdin desperately grabbed the hand that was clutching the blanket and whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“…”
“I’m sorry, Blair.”
He was finally saying the words he had never been able to tell her in their past life.
“For hurting you, for leaving you so lonely.”
“…”
“And for loving you through every single moment of it…”
He wanted her to know his love wasn’t born from guilt over his past sins, but that it had existed for a very, very long time.
But the moment Blair spoke, he realized he had said the wrong thing.
“Then… am I supposed to forgive you?”
Her voice was hollow, but her words carried a faint trace of resentment.
Her violet eyes held no anger and no joy, only a swirling confusion. Soon, her face contorted in pain.
“If you did all of that because you loved me, does that mean the pain I suffered never happened? Does it just… become nothing?”
Ever since she returned to the past, she had tried so hard to suppress her old feelings. Since everything had been undone, she thought those emotions were meaningless.
Yet, she had never forgotten—not for a single second—the devastation she felt when her belief in his love, the love she thought would protect her, shattered. Not even after she had fallen in love with him all over again.
That feeling would ambush her, a sharp pain stabbing at old wounds.
She couldn’t forget it, even if she tried. Even if the rest of the world had forgotten, to her, it was a living reality.
She had lived with a scarred heart, agonizing over those feelings, loving the man who had given her those memories, and hating herself for it.
For all of that to be swept away by the single excuse that he had done it out of love—it felt terribly, horribly wrong.
“I… I don’t know.”
“…”
“I still hate you. It hurts so much…”
Blair sobbed, looking at him with eyes full of resentment. Her slender shoulders trembled pitifully, her violet eyes soaked with tears.
Only then, seeing her like this, did Herdin realize how terribly he had misjudged everything.
He had thought confessing his love would fix it all. He believed that because he loved her, and she loved him, everything would be resolved.
It was a foolish, incredible arrogance.
Her heart was still bleeding from the wounds he had inflicted.
Herdin bit his lip and desperately gripped her hand. Burying his face in her small palm, he whispered through his own tears, “I’m sorry. It’s all my fault, Blair.”
His trembling hands enveloped hers, which felt so fragile in his grasp. He held on as if she might vanish the moment he let go.
“Don’t forgive me.”
Blair didn’t shake him off or push him away; she simply wept with a deep, agonizing sorrow.
The sound of her weeping was the sound of his world crumbling.
Herdin hesitantly reached out and pulled her into his arms. Her crying, so close to his ear, tore his heart to shreds.
He rubbed her back desperately as she sobbed, forcing the words out.
“Please don’t cry…”
He didn’t know how to stop her tears. He didn’t know how to make her smile, either. In the past, she had cried and smiled simply because she was by his side.
But if she could no longer smile by his side…
Then what was he supposed to do?
What on earth could he do?
A ragged breath escaped him as a painful realization struck.
He had wanted to take her to the sea, just as he had promised. But that promise had never been kept, and Blair had come to the sea all on her own.
He had to accept it.
She no longer needed a knight to take her to the sea.
Though the realization suffocated him, Herdin made a promise to Blair, feeling as if he were tearing his own heart out.
“Once I find the culprit, you can do whatever you want. Anything at all.”
So please, just don’t let anything hurt you ever again.
That was his only wish.
* * *
Upon arriving at his office, Herdin lit a cigar, placed it between his lips, and pulled a set of documents from his desk drawer.
They were Esmeralda’s documents, given to him by a mysterious man on the night Blair had fled the Delmark Ducal Mansion.
He had set them aside to pursue Blair, but he had brought them with him to Nerha.
Herdin flipped to the last page. Just as it had been when the man first handed it to him, the final page was missing, clearly torn out.
That missing page had to contain the identity of the mastermind, or at least a clue.
While tracking Blair, he had ordered his subordinates to search for the missing page, but there had been no news yet.
It was time to hunt the true culprit in earnest.
‘The method used to disguise my parents’ deaths as an accident is identical to the one used to kill Blair and trigger my mana rampage.’
At this point, it would be stranger if the two incidents weren’t orchestrated by the same person.
In his past life, he had never found the documents Esmeralda left behind, so he had never suspected his parents’ deaths were murders. Naturally, he hadn’t realized that the mastermind behind their deaths was the same person who had targeted him and Blair with black magic.
‘The victims have one thing in common: they were all masters of Delmark.’
Which meant the culprit’s ultimate target was the House of Delmark itself.
If he divorced Blair, she would no longer be a Delmark, but the imprint was still a problem. As long as it existed, she would continue to be used as a tool to destroy him.
‘I must find the mastermind, eliminate them, and sever the imprint.’
Herdin exhaled a cloud of smoke, glaring at the torn edge of the paper as if it were the culprit itself. Just then, a knock broke the silence.
“Come in.”
Ruth entered the office.
“You called?”
“Send archaeologists to the Elir Plains. Make sure they are fluent in the Demonic Language. Tell them we will fully fund the expedition.”
“Pardon? The Elir Plains? Why so suddenly?”
Ruth looked bewildered, just as Herdin had expected.
The ancient ruins in the Elir Plains wouldn’t be discovered for another year. Right now, the plains were nothing but a vast wasteland. But explaining his memories of the past to Ruth would be too complicated. There was no need.
Herdin stubbed out his cigar. “You’ll find out soon enough.”
His tone made it clear he would tolerate no further questions.
Though puzzled, Ruth chose to obey. “I understand. Is there anything else?”
Instead of giving another order, Herdin simply stared at Ruth, quietly taking in the sight of his subordinate, alive and well.
Just as Ruth was about to ask what was wrong, Herdin spoke first.
“I’m sorry.”
Startled, Ruth blinked in confusion. Then, as a dark thought crossed his mind, his expression grew grave.
“You’ve given me plenty of reasons to deserve an apology, so I’m not sure which one this is for. I just hope it isn’t about some new mess I don’t know about yet.”
Herdin scowled at his aide’s nonsense.
“It means you’re dismissed. Go to sleep.”
“Yes, sir.”
Though he still looked highly suspicious, Ruth refrained from any more insolent questions and took his leave.
Watching the door close, Herdin stood and left his office. He instinctively started toward his bedroom, only to freeze mid-step.
Blair was sleeping in that room. The woman who couldn’t even light a fireplace by herself.