Chapter 119: Rationalization
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 119: Rationalization
Herdin’s gloved finger brushed just beneath Blair’s lower lip. She shuddered at the cool sensation of leather grazing her tender skin.
The price.
As Blair mulled over the word he had whispered, she finally understood what he meant.
Just moments ago, she had offered him a deal: if he spared Mikhail, she would do whatever he wanted. True to his word, he had let Mikhail go untouched.
Now, it was her turn to fulfill her end of the bargain.
Normally, he would have claimed her lips by now, but he was waiting patiently, his hand still cradling her cheek, preventing her from looking away.
Every time his hot breath washed over her face, her mouth felt utterly dry.
'This is the price I offered.'
Staring into his blue eyes, which burned with a raw longing for her, Blair slowly, carefully pressed her lips against his.
At that single, hesitant kiss, his desire flared like a lit fuse.
When she tried to pull away, Herdin immediately yanked her back, capturing her lips in a rough, devouring kiss. Blair shrank back, startled by his relentless intensity, but he pursued her like a beast chasing its prey.
As if that weren't enough, he lifted her up and settled her on his lap, his hand clamping around the back of her neck to block any escape.
“Mmh…”
Trapped in his embrace, Blair felt the breath stolen from her lungs. As her breathing grew shallow and her consciousness began to fade, the searing heat of his tongue remained intensely vivid.
At the same time, she felt his other hand gently caressing her belly. The touch, which she usually scrambled to avoid, felt strangely comforting in this moment.
She snapped back to reality only when his lips brushed against the tender skin of her neck.
The air on the bare skin of her back was cool. In stark contrast to his hot breath scattering across her neck, goosebumps erupted across her skin. Before she knew it, the buttons on the back of her dress had been undone, and the fabric had slipped down past her shoulders.
Only then realizing his intention, Blair urgently called out to him.
“Herdin!”
“Yes.”
He answered obediently, but he had no intention of stopping. His lips kissed their way down the curve of her collarbone.
Blair desperately clutched the dress he was trying to pull down further and pleaded, “Not here… Please, not here.”
But nothing could reach the ears of a man who had starved for over two months. His only thought was to consume her as quickly as possible.
Pulling Blair close to kiss her again, he pried her hands from the dress and cupped her rounded breasts.
His ravenous assault stopped the moment he noticed a damp patch on her gown.
He remembered Blair asking the doctor if she could already be producing breast milk.
So this was proof. Her body was preparing to become a mother.
The woman carrying his child.
The moment he realized this, a thread of reason returned. He knew he shouldn't take her so recklessly, not when her body was heavy and her steps were cautious.
Herdin swallowed a quiet groan and closed his eyes. Just looking at Blair’s flushed face made it nearly impossible to hold back. The desire he barely managed to suppress scraped roughly at his throat.
Clinging to his reason, which was stretched so tight it felt ready to snap, he gently kissed Blair’s collarbone.
With his other hand, he began to button her dress back up, hiding her completely from his sight.
“Herdin, no—”
Thinking he was trying to strip her completely, Blair squirmed in fear. Herdin swallowed a pained sigh and whispered, “…Be still. Stay still.”
Though she didn't mean to, every time she shifted, her hips brushed against him, an unintentional caress that only stoked the flames. Realizing his reaction a beat too late, Blair froze.
Herdin caressed her belly, holding onto his fraying sanity.
But his thin patience quickly reached its limit. The tickle of her hair against his cheek, the sweet scent of her skin—it was too much.
Just as he was about to rip off the very buttons he had just fastened, the carriage rolled to a stop.
Herdin carried Blair in his arms, barely acknowledging the servants' greetings as he strode into the annex. For a fleeting, absurd moment, he was grateful the annex was so small.
The moment they reached the bedroom, he pressed his lips to hers again. By the time they reached the bed, Blair’s breathing was shallow once more.
As soon as Herdin laid her down, he carelessly threw off his own clothes, his lips never leaving hers.
He fumbled with the buttons of her dress for a moment before his patience broke, and he simply ripped them off. The torn buttons bounced and rolled across the floor.
His wild frenzy, like that of an untamed horse, finally ceased when he had stripped her bare.
His gaze locked onto her rounded belly.
Released from his kiss, Blair suddenly snapped to her senses. It wasn't the first time she had been naked before him, but it was the first time since her belly had grown.
…Does it look strange?
She had heard that some men lost interest in their pregnant wives. Part of her wished Herdin would be the same, but another part of her prayed he wouldn't be.
Blair scoffed at herself. Her feelings for this man were a hopeless contradiction.
Just as she, stung by his silent appraisal of her belly, tried to hide under the blanket, he moved.
Herdin pressed his lips to her stomach. The kiss wasn't a singular act; it was followed by another, and another, each one soft and reverent.
Blair stared blankly at him.
In her past life, he had never shown the slightest interest in their child.
Seeing him kiss her belly so carefully, as if greeting the baby within, a surge of complex emotions welled up inside her. Even though she still hated him for trying to use her and the child, a part of her wished—for the baby’s sake—that he would love them in this life.
At that moment, Herdin raised his head, his eyes meeting hers.
His gaze, which held the cold depth of a winter lake, swept over her. The intensity of it stole her breath and made her dizzy.
“Mmh…”
His hand, which had been caressing her swollen belly, slid downward. Startled by the explicit touch brushing against the thin fabric of her undergarments, Blair’s lips parted in a soft gasp.
Whether because pregnancy had made her more sensitive, or because she had been starved of touch for so long, her body quickly heated up.
Normally, he would have teased or tormented her, but today, Herdin had no room for restraint.
Feeling the heat and moisture seeping through the fabric, he leaned back against the headboard, then lifted her up and settled her onto his lap.
With her back pressed against his chest, their bodies merged in a single, fluid motion.
“Ah!”
Blair let out a soft cry at the tight, filling sensation.
Herdin clenched his teeth, a rough sigh escaping him. Every twitch of her body sent waves of sensation through him, the contact intensely vivid. The pleasure was dizzying.
“Ah, Herdin…” Blair called his name with a sob, her hands clutching his firm arms.
As his palm gripped her swollen hip, he felt the same moisture he’d noticed on her dress. The slick, wet sounds between them grew more pronounced.
The body of a mother, which should have felt sacred, felt like the most obscene thing in the world at that moment. The sheer decadence of it only fueled his desire.
He wanted to see her flushed face as she cried out his name, but in this position, it was impossible.
Herdin pushed into her harder, just to hear more of her pleading voice. A pained groan burst from her lips.
Blair urgently grabbed his arm. “Herdin! Slowly… please, go slowly.”
“…”
“It’s not good… for the baby…”
Herdin paused at the word ‘baby’ and scoffed at himself.
Other men claimed their lust cooled at the sight of their pregnant wives. Why, then, was he finding it harder to control himself than ever before?
Touching her rounded belly made him acutely aware that the seed he had sown was growing inside her. A profound sense of fulfillment—as if he completely possessed this woman—warred with a wicked, sadistic urge to torment her even more.
But he couldn't.
Quieting his boiling desire, he caressed her belly, holding her close as he began to move slowly, pressing his lips against her pale shoulders and back.
The slow, deliberate movement was like swimming through hot water, sending gentle ripples of pleasure through them both.
With nothing to hold onto, Blair could only cling to his powerful arms.
“Herdin…”
With every thrust, her vision flashed white. She couldn’t gather her senses. Not even knowing what she wanted, she just called his name desperately.
Only he could quench this unyielding thirst.
Blair’s rising groans were suddenly cut off by a sharp cry. At the same time, Herdin let out a low, husky groan and bit down on her shoulder.
He peppered her shoulder with soft kisses until her trembling subsided, then gently pulled away and laid her down on the bed.
Before Blair could even register the loss of his warmth, he pulled her against his chest from behind.
“How is the baby?”
Herdin placed his hand over Blair’s, which was already resting on her stomach. But the baby, who had been moving just moments ago, fell quiet the instant its father’s hand made contact.
“…I think the baby is fine.”
The moment the words left her lips, a wave of intense heat filled her again.
Blair let out a soft cry and gripped the sheets. Soon, his rough breath fanned against her ear, and a sensation like a rushing tide swept over her once more.
In her fading consciousness, Blair thought blankly that this was merely the price she had promised to pay.
All the while, she ignored the frantic, traitorous beating of her own heart.