Chapter 106: What Was Left Behind
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 106: What Was Left Behind
Lina’s eyes snapped open at the sound of the approaching carriage.
Ever since Blair had disappeared, Herdin had personally investigated any place where someone matching her description was spotted, leaving all urgent matters to Ruth. This time, he had traveled to the southern territories to search for Blair and had only just returned after a week away.
Did His Grace bring Madam back with him this time?
As Lina hurried down to the central hall to greet him, her steps were quick with anticipation.
In the immediate aftermath of Blair's disappearance, rumors had begun to circulate within the Delmark Ducal Mansion—whispers that Blair had committed adultery and fled in the dead of night, carrying another man’s child.
Of course, Lina and Meli, who trusted Blair implicitly, didn’t believe a single word. They had even gotten into fights with the other maids over the gossip, only to be caught and scolded by Mason. The two of them believed the couple had simply had a massive fight, the culmination of the cold war they had been waging right before Blair vanished, during which Herdin had practically kept her confined.
After all, if the rumors were true, there was no way Herdin would drop everything and search for Blair so frantically.
Once Madam cools down, she’ll return.
That was what Lina had believed when Blair first left. Where could an Imperial Princess, who had been raised so delicately she’d never had to dirty her own hands, possibly go—especially while pregnant?
But a week passed, then two, and then a whole month flew by, yet Blair did not return.
At first, Lina had secretly prayed that Herdin wouldn't find her, wanting him to suffer for breaking Blair’s heart. But now, she was starting to worry. A small part of her even resented Blair for leaving her behind.
I wish she would just come back now…
Lina stood at the mansion’s entrance, torn between wanting Herdin to bring Blair back and hoping she’d remain free.
Before long, the carriage pulled up and stopped. Herdin stepped out.
"Welcome back, Your Grace."
Mason greeted his master on behalf of the staff. At his words, the servants lined up in a row and bowed in unison.
Standing among them, Lina stole a glance at Herdin. His strikingly handsome face was the same as ever, but his features had grown much sharper over the past few months. He’d never had a gentle air about him, but now his exceptionally sharp jawline, the cold light in his eyes, and a dry, emotionless expression combined to create a chilling aura. He exuded a lethal edge, like a finely honed blade.
Lina wasn't the only one who felt it. Even the maids who used to secretly admire Herdin’s face now scurried to avoid his gaze, terrified of making eye contact. Eventually, even the servants who had initially badmouthed the missing Duchess began to secretly wish for her return. They had realized that the suffocating atmosphere hanging over the mansion stemmed entirely from her absence.
Yet, despite the hopes of everyone, including Lina and Meli, Herdin was the only one who stepped out of the carriage.
With his usual cold expression, he strode past them and disappeared into the mansion.
Even after the servants sighed in relief and dispersed, Lina couldn’t tear her eyes from the carriage, clinging to a final shred of hope. But in the end, no one else emerged, and the carriage soon rattled away.
Meli came to stand beside her.
"Let's go inside, Lina."
"…Okay."
Meli studied Lina’s face as they walked back into the mansion. As expected, she looked utterly dejected. Meli deliberately changed the subject, pretending not to notice.
"The wind has gotten quite chilly already, hasn't it?"
"…Yeah."
Despite Meli’s efforts, Lina's expression remained gloomy. After a brief silence, she murmured as if to herself, "Madam’s lungs are weak, so she always catches a cold when the seasons change. And since she's pregnant, she won't even be able to take medicine… What if she gets really sick?"
As Lina spoke of Blair, a bitter smile touched Meli’s lips, which she had been trying so hard to keep neutral. It wasn't that Meli wasn't worried, but she felt she had to stay strong for the already distressed Lina.
Blair’s final request weighed heavily on her mind.
‘I'm so glad you two get along so well. You'll continue to rely on each other and stay close, right?’
Blair must have said that knowing Lina would be anxious and sad after she was gone. It was undoubtedly what she truly wanted.
Meli gently patted Lina’s arm. "Don't worry too much. She can even light a candle by herself now. I'm sure she's doing well somewhere warm."
"…Right. She isn't as afraid of fire as she used to be. She'll be fine, right?"
"Yeah. And we'll find Madam before winter comes."
However, instead of being comforted, Lina's expression darkened further. She hesitated for a moment before speaking.
"To be honest, lately, I've been praying every night. Praying that His Grace would find Madam quickly."
Meli listened in silence. She felt the exact same way.
But then, Lina said something unexpected. "But now… I'm starting to hesitate."
"Why?"
"Of course I miss Madam. I worry constantly if she's safe in some unfamiliar place."
"But?"
"But… the fact that she hasn't returned after all this time must mean she absolutely hated her life here. Is it right for me to wish for her to be dragged back, just because I'm selfish?"
Lina’s words left Meli stunned. She hadn't thought that far—that their love and desperate wish for Blair’s return might actually be selfish.
"If it's for her happiness," Lina whispered, "shouldn't we be praying that His Grace never finds her?"
Lina was right. If they truly cared for Blair, they should pray for her happiness, not their own.
Meli, lost in thought, finally made a suggestion. "Then let's pray like this."
"How?"
"That wherever Madam is, she remains safe and happy. Surely we're allowed to wish for that much, right?"
At that, Lina’s face brightened. "Oh! That's perfect."
From around the corner, a figure who had been listening to their quiet chatter silently turned away. It was Ruth, who had come to the ducal mansion upon hearing of Herdin’s return.
It seems he came back empty-handed again.
Swallowing a sigh, he headed toward Herdin's office.
When Blair had first disappeared, even Ruth had been terrified of facing Herdin, who had radiated a murderous aura. But as the days stretched into months, his fear had gradually turned to worry. Having watched Herdin for years, both as a subordinate and at times like family, Ruth knew he wasn't pursuing Blair out of mere anger.
Yet she had not returned for over two months. And she was carrying his child.
This isn't just a simple marital dispute. She truly never wants to see His Grace again…
Though he didn't know the details, it was clear Blair had completely given up on her relationship with Herdin. So, just as Lina had said, if Herdin truly loved Blair, the right thing to do was let her go.
But Ruth could never bring himself to say those words to him. Because Herdin, more than anyone, knew exactly what Blair's refusal to return meant. It wasn't ignorance that kept him from letting her go; it was the knowledge itself.
Ruth’s mouth felt dry as he arrived at Herdin's office. He knocked, but after waiting a moment with no response, he spoke.
"Your Grace, I am coming in."
He opened the door and stepped inside, only to find the office empty. Herdin wasn't there, but he had clearly stopped by—a cigar, smoked down to the nub, lay in the ashtray.
Did he go there again?
Inhaling the bitter scent lingering in the air, Ruth thought of the one place Herdin always went the moment he returned to the mansion.
* * *
After a shower, Herdin went straight to Blair's room.
Everything inside was exactly as it had been on the day she left. Nothing had been touched; only the room’s owner was missing.
Exhausted from traveling day and night, Herdin sank onto the ownerless bed. The faint scent of Blair still clinging to the sheets enveloped him. Staring up at the ceiling, his gaze grew cold and dark.
The scent that had always greeted him in her room was growing fainter by the day. He hated it, but as he breathed it in, there was absolutely nothing he could do.
Nothing except wander endlessly, searching for the owner of that scent.
After a moment, Herdin pressed his temples and sat up. His body was exhausted, but his mind was painfully alert. It had been this way ever since Blair disappeared. He was used to it by now.
He quietly scanned the room, where traces of her met his gaze everywhere. As his eyes moved from one object to the next, a deep furrow formed between his brows. Every time he saw her belongings, it grated on his nerves, forcing him to confront the reality that he was no different from these abandoned things.
A self-deprecating chuckle escaped him. And yet, he always came back to her room.
In a small frame on the nightstand was a drawing they had bought at the clock tower, on a spring day when the cherry blossoms were in full bloom.
‘Yes, I love it. I think I'll remember today every time I look at this drawing.’
He remembered her pure, innocent face, her cheeks flushed, unable to hide her excitement.
She had loved it so much, yet she had left even this behind.
Along with him. Left behind in this mansion.