What Even Is an Excel Broadcast?
What even is a real Excel broadcast?
If I could make it to a hospital, what diagnosis would I even get?
Mania?
Agoraphobia?
Depression?
"Haa."
Time moved faster than I expected. I had figured the days would stretch endlessly if I never left the house. And yet my bank balance was more diligent than anyone.
I opened the fridge and closed it again. Compared coupons on the delivery app. Debated whether to shower until the afternoon rolled around. Cracked the curtains just a sliver to check the weather outside, then shut them once more. Just like that, a few more days slipped by.
One morning, my phone vibrated long and hard.
Bzzzzz—.
It buzzed so long it felt like a disaster alert, so I rubbed my eyes and unlocked the screen—and sleep vanished in an instant.
Insufficient balance / Please check your account status
"...Huh?"
I stared blankly down at the screen. Auto-transfer failed? Wait a second. Had there been no money in the account set aside for rent?
Ah. I was just a little short.
Keeping a separate rent account had been the problem. It wasn't like I was completely broke, but I still nearly had a heart attack for nothing.
"Wow...."
When did it drop this low?
Not long after, a BananaTalk notification arrived.
"...Ugh."
A BananaTalk message was scarier than a regular text. Hospital texts were scary too, but at least those came with sentences that worried about me being sick—
—Ah. Or maybe that was just customer management.
Anyway. A rent demand felt like a very healthy gangster strolling up with a smile. Polite, but terrifying. No room to run.
I scrambled to open the internet banking app. Fingerprint recognition failed once; I brought my trembling hand back and tried three more times before finally logging in.
"I'm so sorry.... I'm so sorry.... I'll send it right away...."
I muttered in terror without even knowing who I was talking to, and tapped into the transfer screen. Landlord's name. Amount. Confirm. My hands shook so hard I triple-checked the recipient name. Sending rent to some random person when my balance was already this thin would hit hard.
Ding.
Transfer completed
"Done...."
I shot a reply straight to the landlord.
Short. Short enough that it was even scarier—then, a moment later—
Only after the reply did I finally breathe.
"I'm alive...."
No. Don't let your guard down. The balance just dropped by a whole month's rent, right? I thought I'd parked several months' worth in there—so why was it already empty?
My head cleared all at once. How much was left? How many times had I ordered delivery this month? What about utilities?
"...Where's the household ledger, I wonder...."
I turned on the computer. Even while listening to the boot-up chime, my back itched for no reason and I shifted in my seat. The chair still didn't fit my body, the hoodie was still too big, and my hair kept falling into my eyes. Scratching from my collarbone down to my shoulder blade with one hand, I moved the mouse and opened the household ledger Excel file.
Rent. Food. Delivery. Utilities. Phone bill. Upcoming hospital costs. Emergency fund. I could probably drop the hospital line. My body wasn't actually hurting or anything.
"The total is...."
...Good grief. I stared blankly at the tidy table. I wasn't about to end up on the street tomorrow. But was I comfortable? Absolutely not. Two more months of rent. A little living money. A few deliveries. A clean diagonal line of pure despair dropped straight down the graph.
"....It's shrinking."
Of course it was. No money coming in. If all you do is draw from what you have, it bottoms out eventually. That was obvious.
"I need to earn money...."
It felt hopeless. I couldn't take a part-time job. The moment they asked for ID, it was over. I couldn't even go to a hospital—what chance did I have?
That vague anxiety about needing income had already pushed me to post a portfolio for Live2D model rigging commissions—the work I'd been doing for VTubers for ages—but—
The comments that had torn into me came flooding back. My eyes narrowed on their own as I looked at the monitor.
What do I do. What do I actually do?
As if possessed, I opened the search bar.
Ways to make money from home
Work-from-home side gigs
How to earn money with a computer
Vague searching never produced a good answer. Ads. More ads. Ads that never got tired of showing up. Links that looked suspicious to anyone with eyes. Comments clearly trying to take your money and run under the name of "tuition."
"Umm...."
I was scrolling when a familiar word caught my eye.
"....Excel?"
My hand stopped. Excel? As if hypnotized, I opened the post.
"Regulars....?"
Like fixed students? People who show up on a schedule? That could work. You couldn't master every Excel feature after a day or two of lessons. Of course, even after learning, the functions you rarely used tended to slip out of your head—
A few comments were already attached.
"Huh...."
That actually sounded plausible? I was confident with Excel. Not the kind of person who pretends to know a few functions—I could at least explain everything used in a real office. Tables, filters, formulas, making things easy on the eyes. If the pay matched, I even had enough coding skill to teach macro writing.
If it's a lecture, I'd have to talk in front of people....
And my face, even....
No, wait. VTubers don't have to show their faces, right? I could do a little Excel teaching stream, and if that really didn't work out, I could just show myself building an avatar in real time. Then the people who attacked me would naturally disappear—
My heart started beating just a little faster. Living as a rigger, I had built countless avatars and helped with stream setups, but becoming a streamer myself was uncharted territory. Aside from watching debut streams to check whether the models worked properly after delivery, I had never actually watched people streaming. For reasons I couldn't explain, the ones who kept calling me "Mom" made me uncomfortable, and watching the avatars I had carefully shaped one by one spit out words I couldn't even bring myself to repeat while grinding through work was....
"Hmm. Should I try it just once?"
I wouldn't have to leave the house. Fewer chances of anyone asking for ID. I could use something I was actually good at. Of course it wouldn't turn into money overnight, but....
"Still...."
I was anxious for no good reason. Diving in with zero knowledge felt too scary, so I started searching all over again.
How to start an Excel stream
Excel stream equipment
Excel stream setup
The results were packed with weird terms. Collabs. Fandoms. Donations. Reactions. Cam quality. Signature emotes.
"....?"
This is an educational stream? It's Excel—why do I need reactions? Don't I just draw tables and teach functions during a lecture? Well, maybe internet broadcasts involve a little small talk too. Why does everyone talk about this stuff with so much exaggeration? Learning Excel can be fun, sure, but it's not the kind of thing you scream about.
Woooow!
Using functions this terribly?!
Just buy a grid notebook from the stationery store, write with a pencil, and use a calculator!
...That would just be trash. Way too aggressive. Of course a beginner wouldn't be good at it. Instant failure as an educator.
"Hmm...."
The more I thought about it, the better it looked. I already had a computer for streaming. I already had a phone for motion capture. As for a VTuber model, well. I wouldn't necessarily need to make a new one; I could probably make do somehow. Plenty of people debuted with something already public. I had even version-updated it for sale and packed in a bunch of features, so I could probably use it right away.
Let's see....
I had helped with stream setups plenty of times, so luckily my hands moved before I even had to think about what to do. Add scene. Add source. Check audio. Once the simple settings were done, my hands only got faster.
"...This goes here. Ah, maybe better to set it on the right?"
Window capture. Display capture. Microphone. Fiddling with familiar menus made the fear from earlier melt away like magic. Meeting people was terrifying, but if I only had to look at a screen, I was fine. I had been scared there might be people attacking me the way the comments under that post had, but I quickly changed my mind. Some of the kids I'd watched debut had nobody watching except me. If anything, chat messages appearing would be the weird part.
I got so into the setup that evening arrived before I knew it. I sat curled on the chair with my knees pulled up against my chest and chewed on my nails. The screen I had been staring at for so long still held the biggest boss of all.
Enter stream title :
"...."
The cursor blinked as if urging me on. What title should I use?
I'll teach you Excel basics
No, too lecture-like?
Let's look at practical Excel together
That sounded too much like a company-provided regular training session.
Excel Stream
...That was the most intuitive one.
"Yeah. Excel Stream."
I nodded. What if not a single person showed up? Then whatever. I could just practice alone. If Excel didn't work out, I could switch over to showing rigging work. And if people did show up—?
"...."
I'd think about that when it happened.
"Hoo."
I took a deep breath. Adjusted the chair height again.
"Ah."
Even cranked all the way up, the angle was still too high for motion capture—I was looking down too much. I sighed, stacked two cushions, and only then was the height right. The hoodie sleeves drooped long enough to cover the mouse, so I shoved them up once. My hands were still a little shaky, but less than when I'd sent money to the landlord.
"It's fine...."
Even if it's not fine, I have to do it. I have to do something!! I wasn't completely out of money right this second. The problem was how fast it was disappearing. Rigging was blocked. Outside was terrifying. So what was left....
From now on, it's really just the Excel broadcast.
"...Whew."
Click.
I pressed the Start Streaming button, and a small red indicator lit up. My heart lurched for a second—then I immediately understood why.
"Ah, ah. Test."
Was my voice too quiet? I raised the mic, saw the gain spike, and hastily dialed it back the other way.
"Hello. Today.... um...."
An Excel window floated in front of me. An empty sheet. Neat little cells. Nothing in them. No one here.
Some kids would be sad in this situation—so why did my heart feel so peaceful?
"Today we'll start with basic table organization...."
A number ticked up in the corner of the chat window.
Viewers: 1 (static)
Huh? Already?
Viewers: 0
...Yeah, that tracked.
Viewers: 1 (static)
A single line of chat appeared.
"...Pardon?"
Why wouldn't you call an Excel stream an Excel stream?
"I just.... typed it?"
Viewers: 2 (static)
"Uh, an Excel educational stream."
"I'll teach you properly from the beginning. It's really easy."
Viewers: 4 (static)
Viewers: 6 (static)
Viewers: 11 (static)