The Sickly Young Lady (1)
That night.
Once again, I had faithfully indulged in the romance of the Japanese countryside—whether that meant becoming an agent for the Honor Management Bureau, playing the Glico game with Ssal-soong, or making a shrine maiden with freshly shaved armpits do the Zero Two dance.
“Kaguya-chan, stuff like this happened today.”
As I recounted the day’s events in meticulous detail, the plump caterpillar inside the bamboo stalk wiggled her chubby tail.
So, so cute. Was this how fathers turned into doting dads?
(◍'꒳'◍). Seeing Kaguya-chan’s sparkling eyes beg for more, I continued.
“You want me to keep going? Kaguya-chan really loves stories, huh?”
Unfortunately, most of the stories I knew were a little too inappropriate for children.
A disgruntled voice flowed from the smartphone. Ah, I see. My precious little lady.
I picked up Mary from the display shelf.
“Are you sulking because I wasn’t paying attention to you, Mary?”
“On the cheek, then.”
I planted a kiss on Mary’s cheek and set her back down.
She gets embarrassed over a single kiss? After I’ve already seen her completely naked, too.
I turned the volume all the way down to zero. You can’t even file a MeToo complaint now. You have no voice left to speak with, do you?
“Kaguya-chan, like Mary said, let’s call it a night. You need proper sleep if you want to grow big and strong.”
I closed the bamboo container, leaving a visibly disappointed Kaguya behind, then flopped down spread-eagle on the futon laid out over the tatami mats.
Between the girl in the white dress, the sexy older lady, the genuine sailor-uniform high schooler, and the freshly shaved shrine maiden… Utsuromura really is paradise!
I wondered what other heroines were still waiting for me. I’d conquer them all. With that pleasant thought and the summer breeze on my face, I drifted off to sleep.
D-35
What kind of wonderful events would unfold in Utsuromura today? I was humming cheerfully as I walked when I spotted her.
“Reia.”
It was Hozure Reia—the (probable) main heroine of Silent Story!
She wore a black long-sleeved dress with matching black gloves—the complete opposite color scheme from her usual outfit. In her hands, she carried a small wooden box with solemn care. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. Even while crying, her beauty was breathtaking. As expected of the main heroine.
I swallowed hard. Had the rom-com route finally arrived?
Comforting a crying heroine is a classic event that skyrockets affection points, right?
Sharing in her pain and growing rapidly closer—that was a staple situation in visual novels. This was my chance to show off my kindness!
“Is that you, Yuuki?”
“Uh… yeah.”
Reia wiped her tears with her hand and greeted me. Behind her, Buntaro waved both arms enthusiastically.
“Why are you crying?”
“My sister is on her way to the Hozure family cemetery.”
“The family cemetery?”
Was it someone’s memorial day? Reia gently stroked the small wooden box as she spoke.
“The bird we kept at home passed away. I’m going to bury it.”
As expected of a pure, elegant character—she had kept something like a canary. Still, burying a pet in the family cemetery seemed a bit much…
Suddenly, a sepia-toned memory unfolded in my mind.
“Chang-shin, your grandpa brought home a puppy from the market.”
“Woof! Woof! Woof!”
“Grandpa’s the best! From now on, your name is Meong-gu!”
“Hahaha! That tickles. Stop licking me. Do you like me that much?”
“Huff huff.”
“Meong-gu, you’re my best friend! Let’s live happily ever after!”
“Today’s Boknal, so we gotta make a tonic for our grandson. One plate of meat coming right up.”
“Whoa, it’s so chewy. What kind of meat is this? I’ve never tasted it before.”
“Tasty, right? There’s soup too.”
“I’ll give the bones to Meong-gu. Meong-gu! Come here!”
The doghouse was empty. The collar had been cut clean through…
“Where did Meong-gu go?”
“Chang-shin, I really like smart kids like you. On Boknal, you have to eat dog meat to stay cool all summer!”
“Bleeegh!”
“Aigoo, why’d you spit it out? What a waste.”
A young Shin Chang-shin (age 11) buried the bones on a hillside, sobbing his heart out.
“Waaaaah! Hic… waaaaah! Meong-gu, I’m sorry. If only you’d been born in a country that doesn’t eat dogs, you wouldn’t have become meat. From today on, I’m going to live as an honorary Japanese person!”
Ugh. That was the origin story of Yuuki: The Beginning. What are you waiting for? Squeeze out those tears already.
Meong-gu, I fulfilled my dream of becoming Japanese! Did you reincarnate as a Shiba Inu in the Japanese countryside?
“Yuuki, what’s wrong? Why are you…?”
When my tears began pouring out like a waterfall, Reia was the one who became flustered instead.
“Ugh…”
“Thank you, Buntaro.”
Buntaro produced a handkerchief from somewhere and handed it over. I blew my nose loudly into it.
“I was moved by your sadness, Reia. I’ve had a similar experience.”
“Yuuki—!!”
Perfect. We were just one step away from the classic event where the touched heroine buries her face in my chest!
I was smiling inwardly when—
“Huh…?”
Buntaro suddenly snatched the box Reia had been holding.
The romantic mood shattered instantly. Why was he being such a spoilsport?
“Buntaro. I adjusted your circuits, yet you still—? Put it down! I order you as your master!”
lllllㅇᯅㅇl||ll||l
Reia jumped desperately to retrieve it, her face pale with shock, but Buntaro paid her no mind. He swung his massive arm and hurled the wooden box into the distance! The box flew like a fastball. OH NO—!
“Spotted Nutcracker!!!”
Reia shot off like a rocket after the flying box.
Whoa, Reia-noona is way faster than she looks. I thought she had turbo engines in her legs. Was that some kind of cartoonish exaggeration?
“Hmph!”
ദ്ദി･∠･
Buntaro thrust his thumb up with deep satisfaction, as if he had just avenged a long-held grudge.
I’d thought he was a nice uncle, but this was… yeah. The sound just came out on its own.
“Buntaro, go apologize to Reia right now. You can’t just throw away someone’s beloved pet bird like that.”
“Hoom!!!”
Seeming to reflect, Buntaro scratched his messy hair and lumbered off in the direction Reia had gone.
I hoped they’d sort it out peacefully.
As I walked along worrying about the pair, someone suddenly appeared in front of me.
“Um… please accept this! Yuuki-nim.”
A gentle, plump girl offered me a lunchbox wrapped in a pretty cloth.
It was Shuna, the more reserved of the twin maids I had met during the sub-quest where I helped find their escaped chickens.
According to Tsurugi, they worked for some cool-sounding organization called the Black Church.
“Good morning, Shuna. What’s this?”
I accepted the wrapped box and asked the little maid.
“You showed us such kindness! So I made some yokan for you.”
Shuna answered, a little nervous.
“I didn’t do anything that deserves this kind of gratitude, but thank you.”
I took the yokan from Shuna. That was when—
“Don’t you have a reward for big sis Shuna, Oppa?”
It was Kiyo, the mischievous one of the twin maids!
“My sister—who’s terrible at cooking—stayed up all night making this for you, and you’re just going to say ‘thanks’ and call it a day~?”
“K-Kiyo!”
“What? It’s not like it’s a lie. Ask him for a kiss on the cheek at least~.”
“I never said I wanted that! Kiyo! You little—!”
Shuna turned bright red and flailed in embarrassment while Kiyo giggled beside her.
I see. Shuna was such an earnest girl that she must have pushed herself too hard. I actually felt bad for burdening her.
Since she was outside my defensive age range, a kiss was out of the question, but I could offer a different kind of reward.
“Yuuki-nim?”
The visual novel protagonist’s ultimate technique: the head pat!
Even an ice-cold princess would melt under its power.
The moment I placed my hand on Shuna’s head—
“K-Kiii—!?!?”
Shuna’s eyes rolled back until they were completely white, and her neck bent at a bizarre angle.
The sweet girl from moments ago had transformed completely!
Ah. I guess that would feel unpleasant.
From a realistic perspective, having your head patted could feel condescending.
Reflecting on my actions, I quickly removed my hand from Shuna’s head.
“Exorcism without prayer or holy water… Heh? What is this?”
(づ⨱.⨱)づ
Kiyo held her staggering sister with great interest.
I looked at the dizzy Shuna and asked, “Shuna, are you feeling sick?”
“Oppa, my sister just short-circuited from embarrassment. She’s pure to a fault even if she is my sister~.”
( ⩌_⩌)
Kiyo shrugged.
“Well, that’s a relief, but…”
“Don’t you think the best reward would be to eat the yokan my sister worked so hard on and tell her it’s delicious?”
Following Kiyo’s suggestion, I opened the cloth wrapping.
Visually, it looked no different from the cheap yokan you’d find at a convenience store. For Shuna’s sake, I had to eat it and say it was good.
The moment I put it in my mouth—
Gulp—!? An indescribably vile flavor. My throat burned as if it were on fire.
There had been foreshadowing that Shuna was terrible at cooking, but who knew she had the hidden attribute of creating perfectly normal-looking yet lethally disgusting poison dishes! At least put some rainbow or purple coloring to warn people!
Or maybe it really is just poison.
My consciousness… slowly faded away…
When I opened my eyes, I was staring at an unfamiliar ceiling.
Kya.