Eighteen, and Winter (5)
Ajusshi and I took Dali out to the garden again. According to him, he finally had some free time, and it was just about the right moment for a walk. Even though the weather had thawed a bit, it was still chilly, so he'd been planning to bundle the little guy up and head out—right when he heard me coming upstairs, Dali bolted out the door. Perfect timing, I thought, so I decided to tag along for the stroll.
I dressed Dali in his thick little dog coat—a checkered vest thing that looked adorable on his stubby legs—and let him loose in the garden. Apparently, some seller online makes custom clothes just for dachshunds. With the garden right there, no leash needed, which made it all the more fun to watch. Dali froze in front of a snow pile, fascinated by the snow he'd never seen before. He plunged his nose right in, sniffing away. After a moment, he yanked it out with a jerk, tilting his head in confusion at the cold. Then, deciding he liked it after all, he started bounding through the snow, tail wagging like crazy.
It was so cute I couldn't not take pictures. His tiny paw prints in the snow, his ears flapping wildly, tumbling head over heels... I had to capture every second.
"Ugh... so cu—" I nearly said it again but clamped my mouth shut. If I did, I'd probably get another weird comment like before. Glancing up at ajusshi with that thought, our eyes met. I startled and looked away, but he turned first. It felt like we'd missed some beat, so I just kept staring at him for a while.
He'd gotten quieter since I last saw him. Barely smiling, avoiding my eyes like we were strangers... What was up with that?
"How've you been?" It'd been forever since we'd properly faced each other and talked, so I started with the basics. Couldn't even remember how many months it'd been.
"Uh, y-yeah... I've been good... And you, Seojin?" Stammering like that over a simple check-in was kinda off. Not bad, though. If anything, his flustered awkwardness was oddly endearing, which was the problem. Seeing him like this stirred up my old mischievous side.
"Who was it that made it hard for you to get by?"
"Kuhak!" I narrowed my eyes and tossed it out playfully, but his reaction was hilarious. He coughed like he'd choked, glaring back down at me. But when I kept staring, he looked away, mumbling like an idiot. Made him even cuter.
"Kidding, kidding~ If it was that bad, I couldn't even joke like this, right?" I grinned wide and playfully smacked his arm. He sighed deeply, scratching his head—then flinched hard. Why was he so jumpy? I hadn't hit him that hard.
"Well... half of that wasn't a joke." His face stiffened again, tension clear as day. I strode right up to him, stood on tiptoes, and glared up close.
"How come you never picked up my calls? Ignored every time I said let's meet?" Honestly, if someone asked if I was totally fine with it, I'd say hell no. Did he have any idea how bored I'd been without him? Even lounging around home has its limits. After finals ended, I'd been hopeful—he'd make time, I was sure.
"W-well... meeting just the two of us felt kinda... iffy? Considering our relationship..."
"Now you say that? And what is our relationship? Friends. Just friends. Nothing more, nothing less." Hitting him with the facts like that, a flicker of shock crossed his face. But that's all it was, right? We're just friends. Sure, Seojin might be cute, but she's still got that kid look, and there's a big age gap. No way he'd see me that way or get any weird ideas. That's why I thought he was safe—no worries needed. So when he started avoiding me, it hurt. A lot. Recounting it all now, it wasn't just hurt anymore; I was getting mad. All that bottled-up frustration ready to blow.
"Ajusshi, lower your head a sec."
"Why my head...?"
"Now!" He bit his lip, eyes darting everywhere. My relentless glare and raised voice must've felt intimidating. After hesitating, he slowly bent down. His eye level, way up high before, came closer to mine. I reached up with both hands and grabbed his face tight. Arms not quite long enough to stretch fully, so it ended up like I was squishing his cheeks. His face instantly looked ridiculous, and I barely held back a laugh.
"Not picking up my calls was straight-up too much. You know that?"
"B-but... we kept texting, right...?"
"You think a few texts are the same as hearing your voice?" Another fact-bomb, and his face crumpled. I felt a twinge of guilt, but the hurt wouldn't fade that easy. Needed to give him at least a little punishment. On impulse, I went up on tiptoes again, took a breath, and headbutted his forehead with mine.
Thwack!
"Ow!" Caught off guard, he yelped short and sharp, pulling free from my grip. Face scrunched in pain, he clutched his forehead. Felt good—my chest lighter.
"What was that for, all of a sudden...?" Still rubbing his forehead, he looked totally baffled. Did he really not get it?
"Hurts, huh? Felt worse for me!" Hands on hips, I stood as tall as I could. His expression twisted into something complicated. Did I have to spell it out for him to feel bad? Thought he had decent intuition usually, but man, he was dense here. Hopeless ajusshi.
"...You okay?" A beat later, he approached cautiously, stopping in front of me. He lifted my bangs gently, peering at my forehead intently.
"W-what are you...?" So sudden, my words tripped over themselves. But he stayed calm.
"You said it hurt. Why headbutt me then? It's a bit red. Better now?" As his palm slowly brushed my forehead, my mind blanked white for a second. The feel of his large, slightly callused hand was vivid. Weird. Not embarrassed or anything... but weird. My chest tickled inside. Forehead wasn't the issue—my whole head felt hot. Like that cringe feeling. But his cool palm covering it snapped me alert. Reflexively, I grabbed his hand with both of mine.
"Ajusshi, your hand's cold."
He flinched briefly, then gripped my hands instead.
"Y-your... Seojin's hands are hot..." His one hand dwarfed both of mine combined. I gripped tighter without thinking. Holding his hand after so long, it was colder than expected.
"You said your stomach was off earlier—are you eating properly?" The thought popped up while we held hands. I narrowed my eyes up at him.
"Y-yeah... eating fine..." Didn't sound convincing.
"From what Madam Han said earlier, doesn't seem like it."
His face shrank fast again. "W-well... that was..." Mumbling without a straight answer was funny; my lips quirked up.
"Then, like before, I'll cook for you—wanna come to my place?" Half-joking, curious about his reaction.
"R-really?" His face lit up, then froze in panic. "N-no, I mean... how could I go there again... What're you saying, Seojin..." His fumbling was comical; I laughed and wiggled his hand.
"Just kidding~"
He stared blankly, eyes on me but unfocused. What now? Then a short bark from the side.
"Woof!"
I turned—Dali, covered head to toe in snow from who-knows-where, charging over. He circled us wildly, barking, tail-wagging, pawing up snow sprays.
"He wants us to play with him, right?" I said as Dali nudged my shoe with his paws.
Ajusshi smiled faintly. "Yeah... sure looks like it." His tense face softened a bit. Dali kept zipping between us, tail going nuts.
"Wanna walk Dali together then?" Trying to lighten the mood more, I squeezed his hand harder and tugged him forward without thinking.
That's when it happened. His body swayed unsteadily. Before I could let go, a huge shadow loomed over me.
"Eek?!" A half-scream escaped as darkness fell. We toppled straight into the snow. Impact jolted my back; cold seeped through my clothes. Blinking open my squeezed-shut eyes, all I saw was white. Turning my head, ajusshi was face-planted in the snow beside me.
"Ugh... sorry, hold on..." He pushed up a few times but kept slipping—legs seemed wobbly. His snow-caked face was so silly, I burst out laughing.
"Pfft... what happened to your face, ajusshi..."
Then Dali bounded over excitedly. "Woof! Woof woof!"
Amused by us sprawled out, he climbed on top, licking ajusshi's face then my cheek frantically.
"Hey, hey, Dali! That tickles—stop...!" Ajusshi laughed, prying him off, then looked at me with a resigned grin. Next thing, he scooped a handful of snow from nearby and flung it right at my face without warning.
"Eek! Cold!! What the heck, seriously!"
My face felt frozen; he smirked. "Just playing."
"Oh, for real...? Let's go then!" I wiped my face, jumped up, grabbed some snow. My turn to charge him. For a while, we rolled in the snow, smearing it on each other and chucking snowballs.
"Hm~?"
Then, a familiar voice from somewhere. I whipped my head toward it instinctively, but no one was there. Did I imagine it?