Twenty-Seven, and the Engagement (5)
Saturday morning, early. Even though I'd barely slept, my mind was strangely clear. Today was the day I was going out with Seojin. It wasn't anything special. She had some important errand, so I was just giving her a ride and tagging along. She said I didn't have to, but it didn't sit right with me. Especially since the address she'd given me was the Family Park… an ossuary. Seeing that made me even more anxious, but at the same time, I was puzzled. If it wasn't Seoyeong or her parents going along, it couldn't be a family grave visit. So who was it? A friend? There was no way to know, but the unease kept gnawing at me, ruining my sleep. That's why I left home way earlier than our meetup time. I killed time with a drive, but it didn't lift my spirits much. Instead, I ended up memorizing the area around Seojin's place. It was ironic that that cheered me up more than the drive.
Seojin came out a little early too. Her face had its usual smile, but for some reason, she looked down today. Was it my imagination? Or maybe because the destination was an ossuary, the mood felt even heavier. To lighten things up, I asked her permission and turned on some music. When an old favorite of mine started playing, the gloom eased a bit. But get this—she started humming along. I figured she wouldn't know a song from way back when she was little, so it was a real surprise. And she knew all the old tunes by heart too. Did we have similar taste in music? Thanks to that, the drive wasn't half bad.
As soon as we arrived at the Family Park, Seojin got out at the entrance to buy flowers. She told me to wait in the car, but today, I didn't want to leave her alone. The florist greeted her like an old regular, which made sense. When he saw me, he asked if I was her uncle, catching me off guard for a second, but I couldn't exactly say we weren't related right there. Still, it didn't feel bad. I pulled out my card to pay, but I missed the sign at the entrance and felt a bit embarrassed. Luckily, I carry some cash.
Seojin grumbled about why I was paying, but even that was cute, making me want to do more for her. The real issue came next. It was a grave visit—could an outsider like me really follow her all the way in? I didn't even know who she was visiting. If she hadn't said it was okay, I probably would've waited quietly in the car. And I might've regretted it big time.
I followed Seojin into the Manwoldang Ossuary building. Silently, I just trailed behind her. In front of where she stopped was a glass case holding an urn and a framed photo. The urn had a name in Hanja. They didn't look related at all, so definitely not family. Death year: five years ago. That meant two years younger than me. I don't know much Hanja, but I could read the name—Hyunsu. No religious marker.
"…Who is it?"
I asked carefully, watching her neatly place the bouquet against one side of the glass wall. I was honestly curious. What was their connection? Why had she come here?
Seojin paused, as if catching her breath, then said softly, "…The person who saved me."
Hearing that hit me like a hammer to the head. Yoon Sajang had mentioned Seojin's accident a few times. But back then, I didn't think it involved me much, so I hadn't really listened. All I remembered was the big accident and the severe aftermath. Maybe he'd told me more, but not remembering now filled me with regret.
I stared at Seojin's back, lost in thought.
"…You?"
A woman's voice suddenly cut in.
"Why the hell are you here?!"
I whipped around reflexively. A woman was glaring at Seojin. The air shifted instantly. She was radiating a chill that made my blood run cold—all by herself.
"You bitch, do you even know where this is? I told you, didn't I? If I see you one more time, I'll kill you!"
Her scream jolted me fully awake. I didn't know the details, but she was clearly unhinged. Leaving her like that, she'd hurt Seojin for sure. Strangely, anger surged before panic. Who the hell did she think she was, laying hands on Seojin?
"What do you think you're doing? What are you gonna do to this kid?!"
I stepped between them and grabbed her wrist. She thrashed wildly; loosening even a bit would've let her slip. So I held tighter. From the vibe, I figured she was connected to the person who'd saved Seojin. At first, I tried staying calm, talking her down slowly. But she wouldn't stop. The things she spewed at Seojin were unforgivable. Listening made my own sanity crack first. If the guards hadn't come… I might not have held back. Seojin seeing that would've traumatized her.
Finally, the guards rushed in and restrained her. Even then, she twisted and screamed at Seojin nonstop. Each time, Seojin's shoulders hunched more. I couldn't stay. I covered her ears with my hands and hurried her outside as fast as I could.
Once out of Manwoldang, I could breathe again. When I gently asked, my guess was right—that woman was family of the person who'd saved Seojin. But that made it even harder to understand. He'd risked his life for her. Yet his family acted like they couldn't kill her fast enough. Was that right? Imagining what could've happened if I'd let Seojin come alone… I didn't want to.
Seojin kept her head down, hiding her face. I would've done the same. Who could act normal in that situation? So I said softly, "If you want to cry… it's okay."
Holding it in wouldn't fix anything. Forcing a smile wouldn't change a thing. Better to let it all out when you need to—might clear the chest a bit. What did I know to say that? Still, Seojin started sobbing, unleashing everything she'd held back.
…Right into my arms.
It caught me off guard, but that didn't matter now. I just wanted her to cry it out. I gently placed my hand on her head and stroked her hair slowly, over and over, saying nothing.
…She's so small. So tiny. One wrong move with too much strength, and she'd shatter. That's why I had to treasure her more.
On the way back, Seojin quietly brought up the accident that day. I barely knew the details, so I held my breath, listening intently. One new fact hit me: the motorbike driver who caused it had ended up committing suicide. Was that why? That woman earlier had been dumping her aimless rage on Seojin.
…But that's not fair.
What had Seojin done wrong? I told her she didn't have to say more. Pushing her might make her cry again. I didn't want to see that face.
The problem was, dropping her off at home like this didn't feel right. I needed at least one smile from her to feel okay. So I used lunch as an excuse and decided to do something for her. First, I took her to a restaurant I go to for important meetings or family dinners. No reservation, no entry—but I'm the exception. The staff, seeing her after a while, assumed she was like a niece. Seojin was stunned from the entrance. During the private room escort, looking at the menu, when I ordered for her. Each course brought a fresh expression. Especially her overwhelmed cuteness—I couldn't keep a straight face. Still, I played it cool, fussing over her as much as I could. My best shot. No idea if it worked.
"Thanks… for today."
After lunch, we walked a bit along the Han River and boarded a cruise when Seojin said that. I hadn't done it for thanks, but hearing it embarrassed me. I nodded like it was nothing, but my face wouldn't cooperate. Especially my mouth, twitching like crazy.
Luckily, a cruise staffer suggested a Polaroid for an event.
"Haha, looks like your daughter’s a bit nervous."
But the clueless staffer's words irked me. Daughter? Daughter?! Niece… okay, maybe. But daughter? No way! Treating her like family from the start didn't make sense… And yet, it didn't feel bad. To me, Seojin was like a little sister. Nothing more, nothing less. That's all I had to think. But my mind kept drifting to pointless places.
This relationship was fun, sure. We're not dating or anything…
…Having those dangerous thoughts meant I'd already crossed the line.
Soon after, Seoyeong told me Seojin might have a boyfriend. I wanted to laugh it off and tease, but a corner of my heart felt off, uncomfortable. Then Seojin casually dropped, "It's you, ajusshi."
My heart plummeted. All our times together flashed by like a montage. Laughing, chatting, eating, looking out for her… Every moment felt wrong now. Because I'd started thinking she was more than cute—pretty.
Thanks to that, I could get cold and rational. No more. Really, no. I can't see Seojin anymore. I'm breaking down. Let's not meet. Yoon Seojin, please, I'm begging you.
you
keep
me
don't make suffer.