Seventeen, and Patience (3)
Seojin sidled up to me quietly and leaned her head on my shoulder. From a distance so close her chin grazed my arm, she looked up and flashed a bright smile. Her appearance was almost identical to mine. The only difference was that while my eyes carried that red tint from the trauma, Seojin's were a deep brown verging on black. Her hair was a little longer than mine too, brushing the ends of her shoulders. This was the exact same look from the first time I'd met Seojin. That is, the day I'd saved her. The only change was her outfit, now pink pajamas.
"Had a good rest?" I asked first, smiling as I checked in on her. Seojin replied in a nasal whine, her eyelids half-closed.
"Uuuungh... I just slept the whole time?"
Then she burst into a big grin. I brushed back the bangs falling over her forehead with my fingertips.
"Still, you woke up earlier than usual this time?"
"Hehe."
Seojin beamed, showing her front teeth. She pulled away from my shoulder a bit, then used my leg as a pillow and lay down flat. Suddenly, I remembered waking up in the hospital for the first time. When I'd first seen my family, they were just strangers to me in that moment. They must have sensed something off about the Yoon Seojin standing before them. But I could barely speak from the accident's aftereffects. So they never suspected a thing—they just worried over me endlessly.
Those days were truly tough. I spent nearly a month bedridden, then several more months stuck in the hospital for rehab. Roughly three months, all told? That's how long I was there. Looking back, those initial days lying helpless were almost easier. Things got harder once I started recovering and doing rehab. The first time I tried to stand—the struggle to balance on these tiny limbs, to move each finger and grasp objects—it was all so overwhelming and exhausting. Not only had I ended up in this pint-sized body, but I had to relearn how to stand on two legs from scratch. It felt utterly daunting.
But as time passed, those physical struggles faded into the background. If I'd become Yoon Seojin, what had happened to the real Yoon Seojin? I'd thought I'd saved her, but had her soul vanished, leaving only the body behind... had she died? That anxiety dragged out my rehab even longer and only added to my family's worries.
Even the day I was discharged and came home felt overwhelming. Everything was unfamiliar. The musty smell of the rundown apartment entrance, the cramped room I had to share with my sister, the creepy neighborhood where drunks wandered at night. It was all alien, even scary. But my family was the real issue. Mom and Dad, who'd barely worked during my hospitalization and taken turns caring for me; my sister, who visited every night and left only at dawn. They always smiled in front of me, but I could tell I was the reason they were struggling, their hearts uneasy because I couldn't adjust.
One day amid those grueling routine, I had a strange dream. A pure white space, just like now. And there, someone was waiting. Yoon Seojin. The same face as mine, but the real Seojin, not me. At first, we both screamed. Total panic. We ran around wildly, freaking out, until we ended up grabbing each other's cheeks in a fight. I don't remember who started it... but it was probably my fault for saying something dumb, pissing her off. And even though it was a dream, it hurt—our cheeks stretched wide as we screamed and made faces together.
That's when I realized. This wasn't just any dream. After the chaos finally settled, we sat facing each other and talked. That's when I learned she had no memories from right after the accident. None of the time I'd spent pretending to be her. Seojin knew nothing. That first meeting revealed only that much. Then she mumbled she was sleepy, and the white space faded away like a parting mist. That's how I woke up.
But one thing was clear now: Seojin was alive. That single fact changed everything for me. It even gave me hope. If Seojin recovered fully, maybe things could go back to normal. That was my private wish, anyway. From then on, I resolved to act exactly like the real Yoon Seojin, so that even if she returned suddenly, no one would feel a thing was off.
After that, we'd meet here every few months. Each time, I'd share everything from trivial daily stuff to the fun moments, and when Seojin laughed, I'd laugh too. As time went on, this clingy, affectionate kid became more and more special to me. I'd always wanted a little sister, and Seojin really felt like one. At some point, I couldn't even hate being called "Oppa" anymore.
"Oppa, but... did you go home?"
I blinked shortly. The good mood from moments ago melted away in an instant.
"M-more importantly! Did you see my outfit? I'm a high schooler now!"
I deftly changed the subject, and Seojin narrowed her eyes suspiciously before they sparkled as she bolted upright. She scanned me up and down in my school uniform.
"Whoa... it's a real uniform!"
She must not have noticed earlier, still groggy from sleep.
"Like it?"
I spun around once in place. In the breezeless white space, my skirt hem fluttered lightly. Seojin clapped her hands and laughed like a child.
"Whoa! It suits you so well!"
I grinned at that and spun once more, slower this time. Seojin clapped again in delight, and feeling buoyed, I twirled yet again. She stared intently at me in the uniform, then murmured.
"I'm jealous..."
I smiled and said, "Then why not try it on yourself?"
Seojin's eyes went wide, then she beamed and jumped to her feet.
"Right!"
She stared hard at me again.
"Unngh...!"
She squeezed her eyes shut tight and grunted softly with effort. The next moment, her pink pajamas shimmered and began to shift shape. White dress shirt, uniform skirt, ribbon, jacket. Before I knew it, there stood Seojin in the exact same uniform as mine.
"Whoa...!"
I clapped my hands together sharply.
"It suits you perfectly!"
Seojin spun around, lifting her skirt hem lightly with both hands. Her cheeks were flushed bright. Far more excited than when she'd tried on her middle school uniform.
"Oppa, do I look like a real high schooler?"
"Yeah, totally!"
Before I even finished, Seojin was grinning ear to ear. Her cheeks burned even redder, as if this moment itself was the best gift ever.
She actually looks like an elementary kid sneaking into her sister's uniform.
I couldn't say that out loud. It applied to me too, after all. Shaking off the silly thought, I remembered this was Seojin's dreamlike space. Almost anything she imagined could happen here. That's why I'd deliberately gone to bed in my uniform. Words alone couldn't convey the design perfectly. She might never wear it in reality, but here, she could enjoy it to her heart's content.
"Waaah~ I'm a high schooler too now~"
Watching Seojin swish her skirt hem and express her joy with her whole body lifted my spirits too. I went further, slowly describing the school layout. Classrooms, hallways, school gates... everything I could recall, in as much detail as possible. By the time I finished, the white space began to transform. Not exactly matching my description, but a pretty convincing version. Seojin dashed straight into the classroom first. She sat in a chair, stood up, circled the room—and got even more excited.
I kept sharing updates. How Mom and Dad were a bit less busy lately, school life, friends, all the little things. Seojin giggled sometimes, leaned forward eagerly for more at others. I told her plenty about the romance fantasy novel I'd just started too. As expected, she was hooked—begging for more after each story. Good thing I'd prepared a ton of material.
The classroom space soon filled with a warm buzz like lunchtime chaos, even though it was just us two. Time with Seojin like this was always the most comfortable and fun for me. That's why I always counted down the days. As this time approached, a pleasant warmth would spread in my chest—a sure sign I'd see her soon. It had taken nearly three months to meet again this time. The gaps were shortening, which made me even happier.
"Oppa!"
Seojin propped her elbows on the classroom desk and stared right at my face.
"Tell me more... other stories too!"
Her voice brimmed with anticipation, but her lips pouted slightly. A dissatisfied look, like I hadn't given her the tales she really wanted.
I averted my gaze for a moment and sighed. Sharing stories with Seojin was pure joy. But out of all the things she was curious about, there were two. Two topics I dreaded most.
My mouth went dry. Should I steer to another subject? As I pondered, something popped into my head.
"Oh, right. I haven't told you this yet."
Seojin tilted her head.
"What?"
"You know my sister, right?"
I cleared my throat needlessly and added as casually as possible.
"She got a fiancé?"
Seojin cocked her head at that.
"What's a fiancé?"
Come to think of it, it might be unfamiliar to her. I paused, wondering where to start. A promise for future marriage, agreement between families, time to get to know each other... Those thoughts brought Han Yeonho ajusshi to mind. We'd only met twice, but he seemed like a decent guy. Strangely, just thinking that lifted my mood.
"Why're you smiling, Oppa?"
Seojin was staring with wide, round eyes. A new expression for her. I realized I was grinning and cleared my throat again.
"Ahem... uh, nothing."
"Hmmm?"
Seojin eyed me suspiciously, then rested her chin in her hand, ready for more. She looked thrilled—clearly hooked on the topic. For now, I needed to explain what a fiancé even meant.