Three Realizations After Headbutting a Tree

Prologue (1)

When I was eight years old, in the mansion’s training grounds, after planting my head squarely into a tree, I came to three realizations.

First, I had reincarnated into another world.

Second, even if I died and woke up again, there was no way in hell I could pull off being a knight.

Third… Fuck. I’m completely fucked.

The afternoon training schedule vanished thanks to the morning session with my father. One of his strikes had sent me flying headfirst into a tree like something out of a cartoon. Father’s expression made it clear he was displeased, but what could he do? I was still only an eight-year-old child.

Well, that’s an excuse too. If you’re going to complain about it, you shouldn’t have been born into a knight’s family in the first place.

Actually, maybe a regular knight family would’ve been better than this mess.

I lay sprawled on my bed, absently rubbing the swollen lump on the back of my head, and the dire situation I’d realized earlier came flooding back.

Sigh. Let’s organize this slowly, from the beginning. If I take my time, maybe I’ll find some kind of escape route. They say everything depends on your mindset. Even if you walk into a tiger’s den, keeping your head straight is supposed to keep you alive. I’m not sure whether a medieval fantasy world or an actual tiger’s den is the worse situation, though.

Let’s go over my personal details one by one and assess the situation.

Alvaro Sternfeld. Eight years old. Eldest son of Baron Wolfram Rosfelbae Sternfeld of the Luxid Kingdom.

Family consists of my father, my mother Ingrid Sternfeld, and my younger brother Eckhart Sternfeld.

My father, the Southern Knight Commander, is one of only three Sword Masters in the entire kingdom.

Born as the eldest son of such a prestigious family… and yet, no matter how I look at it, I have zero talent for swordsmanship.

My body, on the other hand, is tough. The morning training proved that much. After flying like a damn bird and smashing the back of my skull into a tree, my head was still perfectly fine. The only real difference was that my previous life’s memories had returned… mostly fine. Yeah, right.

Anyway, physically there are no major problems despite my young age. Compared to other kids my age, I’m noticeably more solid and robust. Even now I feel far stronger than I ever did as a teenager in my previous life. Whether that’s from knight training, aura, or mana, I don’t know, but it’s clear my body is well above average.

Fantasy staple mana. They seem to use different terms here, but I’ll just lump it under aura. The knight uncles seem to call it “aura” too.

That part doesn’t seem to be a problem either. This isn’t one of those “I have no mana so I’ll reach the peak with the sword” stories. In fact, I think I handle aura pretty well. If I didn’t, Father would’ve given up on me long ago and stopped forcing me to train.

The real issue is that my close-combat sense is close to zero. No matter how much subjective packaging I try to slap on it, what’s not there simply isn’t there.

It’s not just the sword, either. I suspect switching weapons would leave me in the same pathetic state… Is there seriously no way out? This is driving me insane.

If a sword comes flying at me? I block it with my sword! While taking the full force of the blow, of course… That’s exactly what happened this morning. I honestly tried to block Father’s strike and got launched backward by the recoil.

I might be able to deflect something like an arrow, maybe? The problem is I’d probably send it flying straight into an ally instead.

Sigh… There’s no answer. What the hell am I supposed to do? I really don’t think I can be ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a knight…

But if I don’t become a knight, I don’t see any path to survival.

Our family rose to nobility through knighthood. Being a knight is the very foundation of our house. Actually, that’s true for most nobles in this kingdom. The Luxid Kingdom is that kind of nation.

The founding myth itself is about nomadic horsemen who protected settlers from wild beasts and monsters, creating both the nobility and the kingdom. A country where military strength is nobility and nobility is military strength.

In a medieval feudal system, commoners without power already face a bleak existence, but the situation here is even worse. Unlike Earth, monsters actually exist. As a result, the daily lives of commoners seem to predate even medieval times. Is it true they’re oscillating between the Stone Age and early Iron Age? Instead of progressing through fantasy elements, civilization has actually regressed?

“…Ah, seriously, what the hell am I supposed to do? Isn’t this a fucking dogshit game balance?!”

In a fit of frustration I shot up from the bed and shouted. I felt like I had to yell at least once.

Goddamn it. Even reincarnating into another world doesn’t fix my pathetic life.

Knock, knock, knock.

Just then, a knock sounded at my door. Who could it be?

“Young Master, the second young master is here to see you. Shall I let him in?”

Oh… so a maid had been standing outside my door. Looks like my little brother had come to visit. Which meant both the maid and my brother had just heard that entire outburst…?

“#!@$%… Ahem. You may enter.”

Shit. How embarrassing.

The door creaked open and my younger brother stepped inside.

“Big brother, are you okay?”

“Yeah… I got a bump on my head, but it’s nothing serious. You know how sturdy I am.”

“Still… the tree in the corner of the training grounds split pretty badly. And I heard you yelling just now. Are you really alright?”

“I’m fine, I keep telling you. What about you, Hardy? Is your body holding up?”

My younger brother, Eckhart. Hardy had been born with a frail constitution.

Especially during early spring mornings like this, he had to be careful with the weather. The southern part of our kingdom bordered a desert, so dusty winds often blew in during spring. Yellow dust in spring both in my previous life and this one. It made things even harder for my already sickly little brother.

“I’m fine. There’s a lot less dust ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠today.”

Even so, Father insisted he still had to train. Truthfully, Father seemed reluctant too, but what choice was there? His eldest son was completely useless. A successor was necessary if the family was to survive.

“Right. Off to training now, Hardy?”

“Yeah. It was supposed to be sparring with you while Sir Paul supervised, but since you got hurt…”

I scratched the back of my head. This was getting incredibly awkward.

“Alright. Do well in your afternoon training. Take care of yourself, Hardy.”

“I will! You take care too, big brother!”

Click.

Hardy closed the door behind him. I listened to the sound of his boots fading down the hallway before sinking back into thought.

…Still, I’m glad Hardy exists. Without him, our family would’ve been game over.

Unlike me, even though his body is weak, Hardy is overflowing with talent for the sword. Right now I can barely hold my own against him thanks to the physical advantage of age, but if the age gap were any smaller, I probably wouldn’t be able to win at all.

…Thinking about it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. My thoughts started getting tangled.

“…This won’t do. I need to write this down and organize it properly.”

I pulled out a bundle of blank parchment from the bookshelf and sat at the desk. It was sized for adults, so the height was a bit off, but I could manage. I dipped the quill into the ink several times and began sorting my thoughts.

Scratch, scratch.

“First… it’s pretty much confirmed that I won’t be inheriting the family. Our barony is large for its rank, but that’s only because Father is both the Southern Knight Commander and a Sword Master. The assets I could realistically claim would be extremely limited.”

Scribble, scribble.

“Living as a granted noble after receiving some land from the estate… but that requires becoming a knight. If there was any chance of me becoming a proper knight, I wouldn’t be worrying about leaving. If I do leave, it’d be as either a mercenary or a free knight. One or the other.”

Tap, tap, tap.

I drummed my fingers on the parchment as my worries continued. Hmm… were ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠those really my only two options? But if I couldn’t use a sword, both paths were dead ends. If neither worked, I’d be reduced to a commoner, and that was… not ideal.

“…Still, if those are my only options, I need to come up with some kind of plan.”

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

I sketched out a rough future plan, however uncertain. Planning for the future at eight years old felt ridiculous, but considering that nobles in this kingdom held their coming-of-age ceremony at fifteen, it wasn’t that far off.

Even if I stayed at home as long as possible, I’d have less than ten years at most. After that, it was the wilderness.

Staying any longer would only burden the family and do me no favors.

…Would Father’s loyal subordinates try to assassinate me for the sake of his honor? The thought of being quietly eliminated for the family’s reputation sent chills down my spine.

Scribble, scribble.

I kept writing until I ran out of space. This was the last sheet I had. What now?

“…I’ll have to go to Father’s study.”

There were definitely more parchments in his office, but that was also where he handled his duties as Knight Commander. Entry was strictly forbidden.

I could have a servant fetch some, but since I was organizing my thoughts anyway, I decided to go myself. There might be something in the study that could help me think.

When I reached the study, I began searching for parchment.

Hmm… if I couldn’t find any, I’d have to ask Father directly, but after the disgrace I’d caused this morning, I really didn’t want to face him…

Rattle, rattle.

Still, my rummaging paid off. I spotted a bundle of parchment wedged between some books. But… why was it so high up?

I cleared away the boxes and books scattered across ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the study floor to create a makeshift stepping platform. It looked a little unstable, but it should be fine, right?

Step, step.

I climbed carefully, stepping on the boxes and books. Just a little more. Just a little…

“Got it! Uh… whoa?”

I must have moved too forcefully when I grabbed it. The pile wobbled dangerously.

Crash!

“Gah! …Owww, my head…”

I’d hit the exact same spot as this morning. Goddamn it!

While rubbing the back of my head and trying to stand, a book suddenly caught my eye.

Given that it was the study of a Knight Commander, it made sense for it to be war-related, but a book about mages seemed wildly out of place in my knight of a father’s collection… Wait a second.

“Magic… mages! That’s it! Why didn’t I think of that sooner?”

A mage! The fantasy staple mage! Couldn’t I just become a mage? It was the most basic trope in the genre. How had I not thought of it?

“…I feel like an idiot all over again. A guy who reincarnated into a fantasy world, knows mana exists, and still didn’t think of becoming a mage.”

I reached for the book in front of me, eager to read it, when—

Bang!

“Who’s there!”

“…”

“F-First Young Master?”

The flustered voices of the butler and servants. Their gazes shifted toward me, and mine naturally followed to where they were looking.

Only then did I notice the mess on the floor and the books scattered everywhere in complete disarray.

“Ah.”

I was screwed.

In the end, Mother gave me a thorough scolding for the chaos I’d caused in the study.

Ugh.

…But at least I’d remembered magic existed.

Between the two choices of dying as a mercenary or dying as a free knight ten years from now—a perfect Dead OR Dead situation—a third option had appeared: mage.

…Though now that I thought about it, being a mage didn’t exactly scream “safe” either.

“…I don’t know. Let’s sleep on it and think tomorrow.”

After getting thoroughly chewed out by Mother, it was already the middle of the night.

At least I’d managed to eat dinner before the scolding. Otherwise I would’ve gone to bed hungry. The butler had probably kept the servants quiet and only reported it to her much later.

Damn medieval fantasy… There wasn’t a single proper light, only candles and lanterns. Candles were apparently too expensive for a child like me, so they wouldn’t give me any. Trying to read by lantern light was pointless; the base was so dark it barely illuminated the desk. It was just a thick wick sitting in an oil reservoir on a bronze base. It might light up the room, but it did nothing for the actual desk.

I missed electric lights. Goddamn. Even a glass lantern would’ve been better. At least then I could’ve seen something.

Still, since this was a fantasy world, they apparently had decent quality glass for a medieval setting. The problem was that mages made it, so it was insanely expensive. It was usually reserved for noble vanity pieces or office windows. Glass lanterns were considered an extreme luxury, so they were impossible to find in a rural backwater like this… Thinking about it only made my situation feel even more pathetic.

“…If I become a mage, the first thing I’m making is something like an electric light. For real.”

Time to sleep.