As Much as We Need to Know Each Other
"Mmm…."
"Oppa…."
"Nn…."
"Oppa…."
"…Hup."
Oppa finally stirred and startled at the sight of me. We had fallen asleep exhausted, still naked, after only halfheartedly tying off the condom and tossing it aside.
"W-what's wrong…?"
"Oppa… I'm sorry for waking you so early, but… could I have some water…? Down there… it hurts…."
"Ah… ah! Sorry. I'll bring it right away."
Even through the pain, I couldn't help chuckling as I watched him scramble frantically for something—anything—to cover himself with, terrified of being seen naked.
"Ack… ugh…!"
I hadn't expected that little laugh to backfire so spectacularly. Was this my period or what?
"Here's the water! Are you okay? Should we go to the hospital?"
"Thank you…."
Last night… Oppa and I had done it.
Had it been intense? Passionate?
I honestly wasn't sure.
We'd bought a whole box of condoms and only used one. And after throwing every seduction I could think of at him, I had ended up crying my eyes out….
I hated myself for all that bluster, for putting on such a ridiculous show. Why had I even tried to seduce him? What an idiot.
"Gulp… haah… Oppa."
"Mm."
Still, I wanted to ask. I wanted proof.
Even if the answer in a situation like this was already decided… I wanted to hear the words, even if they were a lie.
"Did it… feel good…?"
"Yeah. Really good."
"…Then hold me."
"…Right now?"
"Hurry."
After seeing everything there was to see yesterday, what was he getting shy about now? This man.
"Ehehe… thank you… for accepting me."
"Don't say that. There's no need…."
"I love you. I really like you. Just… ugh… I don't know. I love you."
Oppa tightened his arms around me a little.
"Then me too. I really love you too. So don't say things like that. It hurts my heart."
In that moment, I felt as though Oppa and I had become one.
The affectionate way he looked at me made my chest tighten so suddenly that tears spilled over again.
He wiped them away and held me once more, and his arms felt so safe I could have stayed there forever.
A little of the weight lifted from my shoulders.
"Ahem… why does breakfast taste so good today?"
"Huh… you're right. It really is especially good."
"Because we worked so hard last night… ahem. No. Never mind. Really… ugh…!!"
"Uh… uh? Uh… right. I didn't hear that? Let's pretend I didn't hear that!"
The conversation had veered into deeply unfortunate territory.
The already awkward air between us turned even colder, as if a midwinter wind had swept back into the room.
Suddenly the food lost its flavor. The meal was still delicious, of course—I was still eating it because it tasted good—but neither of us said another word. We just forced it down, both of us desperate for this particular stretch of morning to end.
"Haa… augh…."
"Ugh. Jihye, want me to just carry you?"
"…I'm fine. I can walk."
Something felt off the whole way there.
In the elevator, that strange sensation nearly killed me. It felt like someone was crushing my waist and clamping down on my hips; collapsing right there wouldn't have been surprising at all.
I shuffled along like my lower half had gone completely out of commission, and anyone who knew would have recognized the gag code immediately. Anyone who didn't… freeze and die, honestly.
I wanted to swear. Loud enough for the whole world to hear. Just get it all out.
"Ugh… aah…."
"This isn't working."
"Hweh!?"
After only a few more stumbling steps, Oppa simply scooped me up into his arms.
A classic princess carry.
"Augh… Oppa, put me down…."
"No. You're clearly in a lot of pain."
"Hnn… this is so embarrassing…."
He was definitely trying to kill me with humiliation.
"Just hang on a little longer. We're almost there."
"…We are not…!!"
I had my face covered and my ears blocked, but at the words almost there I cracked my fingers open a little—and the place was already packed with people.
On Oppa's neck, impossible to hide, a single mark stood out in plain view.
Was I supposed to be happy about that or not?
"We're here. You can open your eyes now."
"Ugh… uuugh!! Oppa, I hate you!"
He took my limp little punches without flinching and pulled me into a hug.
"Sorry. But what else was I supposed to do?"
"I don't care… dummy."
"Hmm… going to Jeju like this might be a bit much… where should we go instead?"
Seeing me so weak, Oppa had even given up on the pork cutlet. If our first day ended like this, did that mean the second day—and the third—would never come at all…?
"N-no. The pork cutlet… I really have to eat it."
"No. You can barely walk. There's no way you're getting on a plane like this."
I couldn't accept that.
Oppa had finally gotten time off, and the memories we were supposed to make together—the bond, the foundation of something deeper between us—were slipping away.
"Ah… Oppa, please. I'm really fine."
"No. We're just going home today. I'm worried about you."
"Ugh…."
"Jihye."
There was nothing left to say. If he was worried, pushing any harder would only get me another refusal.
"Jihye?"
"Yes…."
"I know you're disappointed. I am too. But… we can still have fun at home, can't we? I'm not scolding you for being in pain. And you didn't do this alone—we did this together. So why are you shouldering all the hardship and feeling miserable by yourself?"
Because I had forced it. Because I had invented impossible reasons just to give myself a reason to exist. So of course… this was the punishment I deserved.
I swallowed back every word that rose to my lips.
"Th-that's…."
"I love you. Saying I like you isn't enough to get my real feelings across."
"…They come across. Perfectly. Without a single lie."
"Then you too… understand me. Understand how I feel. We're going to keep going, just like this, without changing."
"…Okay. I understand."
"Good. Our Jihye is so pretty."
It wasn't some silly wordplay about being born to love each other.
We had been born into different families, thrown together by an unstable chain of circumstances. Somehow I had met my brother-in-law—my oppa—and lived with him for months.
And then, out of nowhere, I had become a woman…?
Strangely enough, even though Oppa had always been handsome, he started making my heart race and flutter. When he struggled to approach me, I got weirdly hurt by it and clung even harder.
And then, just as strangely, my chest trembled all over again—the moment I latched on, spinning absurd arguments just so we could stay together, forcing myself into his space and falling asleep beside him.
It had felt like I was looking at something ideal.
The feeling that I might become happy, the way I was settling into a sense of safety without even realizing it, the way the whole situation was growing tender—it had all felt so foreign.
So yes. It was strange. It was strange.
Everything had been alien and odd… and yet somehow I was happy. And now… now I was even happier.
"I'm sorry. For being stubborn."
"Don't be. Let's live without secrets between us. It wasn't some impossible thing—we both acknowledged it and accepted it, so we've already made up, haven't we?"
"Thank you. For making up with me."
"Hnn… so that's how you're going to play it?"
All I felt toward Oppa was gratitude. I had received his love. I had received his sincerity.
Those two things were enough for me. They were too big a gift. Too great a happiness.
So I couldn't let them go.
If I had my way, I'd start with marriage.
And if I got even more stubborn after that, I'd want a baby too.
"Just… for a lot of things. I'm grateful for all of it. Just accept it. My beloved oppa."
"…Okay."
Outdated pet names like darling or honey honestly weren't necessary. I didn't need a pet name at all.
If I had one, it was just oppa.
That single word was the greatest endearment I could ever call him by.
"You're cute. So cute. You're going to sleep on my chest again tonight, right?"
"…Yeah. That's right. Please."
"Okay~"
One way or another, I was grateful to yesterday's me, and grateful to Oppa, who had only ever thought about taking care of me.
Especially yesterday… just thinking about it was a little scary, but there was a reason people talked about first times the way they did.
And the fact that it had felt so good at the end was definitely one of the reasons I'd cried, too.
So today, I would tough it out.
Tomorrow would be better, and the day after that, I'd probably try seducing him all over again, wouldn't I?
At the swell of that thought, the pain seemed to fade on its own.
"Eugh…."
"Oh… sorry. I tried to take it as easy as I could."
First things first… maybe I should start by cursing the government.
Oppa hadn't done anything wrong. He took such good care of this car—could the suspension on a nice vehicle like this really be the problem?
No, it was this filthy, ugly, brutally stupid country that didn't just recommend the rules but locked them in place, planting speed bumps that weren't ten centimeters high but easily over twenty degrees of pure suffering. That was why I was dying right now.
"I'm going to… file a complaint… and get some sleep. Sorry. I can't keep you company talking."
"Ah— mm, no, it's fine… and being in pain really isn't your fault, Jihye. It's ours. Or should I say I did it all by myself?"
"Ahem. No. Thank you."
I wrote out a complaint of about 5,700 characters—something that could have passed for a personal statement, or maybe even a short novel—attached a meticulously drawn map as a file, hit send, and let myself sink into the seat.
Oppa's house.
The home I could go back to. My home.
"Huh…? Whoa— Oppa!?"
"When I see a patient, I help right away. Especially if it's someone precious to me."
"…You're not going to put me down, are you?"
"Nope. Of course not."
Getting out of the car was one thing—by the time I registered what was happening, we were already outside waiting for the elevator.
"Woo-woo…."
"…What's 'woo-woo' supposed to mean?"
Once I was stuck in a princess carry, all I had left to work with were these tiny fingers and my upper body.
"A kiss… there's no one around, so it's okay, right…?"
—Chup.
Even while being carried, a kiss was still possible. It wasn't as hot or thrilling as before, but the simple sweetness of it was more than enough. It felt complete and good.
"Which floor~?"
"Umm… twelfth?"
"Yes yes~ ba-bam~"
Even when the elevator arrived, he was still holding me, so pressing the button was awkward—I did it for him instead.
This little roleplay was actually kind of fun.
"Bam-bara-bam~! Twelfth floor, coming right up~"
Oppa let out a small laugh, as if he found the whole thing endlessly amusing, and simply watched me play around.
—Ding. Tenth floor.
No one got on. Maybe another elevator had arrived first and taken them?
"Up…."
A stray thought drifted through my mind.
"I'm not too heavy… am I?"
"…? Light as a feather?"
"That is not funny at all. I am heavy. Admit it!"
I was well aware of the weight of my own chest right now. There was no way I wasn't heavy. What was the average weight supposed to be for someone my build again?
"Ah, you're really light. I'm kidding. If you keep wriggling like that, you get heavier, you know?"
"Ugh…."
I stopped kicking my feet and wrapped my arms around his neck instead. Oppa smiled softly and carried me all the way to the door.
"Haa… we're home again! Ugh… augh."
He unlocked the door, and the house that somehow felt like it had been ages since we'd last seen it greeted us—but I couldn't just shout and laugh without a care. My whole body had erupted into muscle aches.
"I'll get you to the bed. Just a second…."
Like a proper prince, Oppa slipped off my shoes and lifted me up again.
"Umm… Oppa, I want to go to the bed."
"Got it."
"Yay! Ugh…!"
"Hss… maybe you shouldn't talk either."
The muscle pain was still going strong well into lunchtime.