King of the Monkeys

And yet, even as every race plunged into chaos over it, there was one religion shooting straight through the roof all on its own.

"Leader! Good news—incredible news!"

"Apostle Lee Jongung has brought in a hundred new believers!"

"L-Leader! MBS called. They want an exclusive on the Love Church!"

The Love Church of Korea—a new faith devoted to a rather abstruse deity known as the Tower God. Most of its believers were people whose faces had melted from Mana Core Erosion Syndrome, and the place had been, in practice, little more than a charity shelter. Now spring had come to it.

The process had gone like this.

Only a few days ago it had been a neighborhood hole-in-the-wall with fifty believers to its name. Then Cha Seoyun held a press conference, and the name spread across the country. The global notice from Floor 777 rang out, and recognition exploded. Believers cured outright of Mana Core Erosion Syndrome after eating cucumbers from the deserted island testified in droves, and credibility exploded. A few even declared themselves apostles and, without anyone asking, launched missionary work in ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠every corner of the nation. That exploded too.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

One detonator after another, and in a flash the church had been reborn as a rising religion on the scale of a mid-sized company, seven thousand strong.

"Our Leader guides us down the path of salvation!"

"Ah— we believe, Leader!"

"Long live the Tower God! Long live our Leader!"

Faith that had edged, by now, toward frenzy. Day after day, those gathered at Love Church Headquarters praised the Tower God and rejoiced.

All of them, save exactly one.

This can't be real...

Church Leader Kang Seongjun dragged a bleak hand down his face. Things had tangled. Far too tangled.

These are... really cucumbers that came down from the very top of the Tower...?

According to Love Church doctrine, the Tower God was a great being who reigned on the Tower's highest floor. The reason he had written it that way was simple. Until Kang Seongjun himself was dead, no player was ever going to reach the top. Even the famous elves had only just made it to Floor 137.

He had been certain of that—

...I'm screwed.

Someone had reached the top floor. A global announcement had even gone out because of it.

The Tower God? A great being?

What a joke. It had to be some player's doing. The problem was which race that player belonged to.

For now... it isn't humanity.

If that player had been human, the Korea Hunter Management Bureau and the Hexagon would have had no reason to fall into chaos. It would have been a festival.

Which left the elves, or the demons. One of the two.

Th-then does the Love Church... become a heretical cult that worships another race?

A cult, he could live with. Plenty of religions besides the Love Church served this or that miscellaneous god. Openly worshipping another race—one currently competing with humanity—was a different story. The backlash could be fierce, and worldwide.

Maybe they would even be targeted by terrorists.

Should I quit right now and run?

He was seriously weighing his next move when—

"Leader! We secured the new potatoes the Tower God has sent down this time!"

The First Apostle, Cha Seoyun, held out a single potato.

"The effect is incredible again!"

"...Is it?"

"It comes with a gastric-lining reinforcement boost. We fed it to a believer who'd been given a terminal stomach-cancer diagnosis, and their condition improved dramatically!"

Why. Why, of all things, did everything go so maddeningly well in this one direction?

"This, too, must be grace bestowed by the Tower God, yes?"

"...Right. Of course."

"Hehe, just as I thought! Come quickly, Leader! The believers are waiting only for you!"

Kang Seongjun followed Cha Seoyun to the front of the congregation. Thousands of believers looked at him with eyes full of faith.

Looks of recognition he had never once received in his life.

At home he was nothing but the clueless youngest. Here, and only here, he was the great leader everyone praised. Thousands of believers depended on him alone.

But one wrong step and this could become a genuine disaster. Anti-human activity could land him in prison.

Gulp—

Kang Seongjun swallowed dryly, squeezed his eyes shut, and opened them again.

"I... have something I need to say honestly... to all of you believers."

He hesitated a moment. Then he snatched up the newly secured potato from the deserted island, thrust it high, and shouted.

"Waaaaaaah—!"

Screw it. It was do or die now.

The tribe's representative was a testosterone-soaked monkey, diamond-spoon DNA stamped into it by generations of ancestors who had lived in the trees. How were you supposed to beat a creature like that?

The ordinary way was hopeless. He needed a smarter approach.

Namely—crushing it under stats.

Grinding those stats by nothing but stubbornly shoveling down crops would take a considerable amount of time, of course. But humans always found an answer.

"Hoo..."

Minhyuk looked at the buff potion he had made almost by accident.

A full twenty percent apiece. Only for an hour, but that was plenty. No—past plenty. A buff as hearty and dependable as a steaming bowl of rice soup.

The higher your stats... the bigger the inflated amount gets, right?

The best thing in the world was free. Free stats for an hour—and scaled to the stats he already had?

Heh. So what was left?

Just raise the stats. He still couldn't afford to slack on the training, of course.

"All right. Let's get started again today!"

Minhyuk looked up at a palm near the beach, the training routine he had added recently for the sole purpose of beating the testosterone monkey. First, a light warm-up.

"Heave— ho—"

"Haaaaaap!"

Stuck to the trunk like a cicada, he started up it in a rush. Fwip-fwip-fwip-fwip—! Faster than yesterday. In a blink he reached the crown of the tall palm, stamina to spare, and the time had dropped quite a bit from the day before. The fruit of repetition and a careful diet, maybe?

"Ooooh—"

Clap, clap, clap— Elia and the meerkats applauded, murmuring their admiration. Far off, the sea otter lying on the water smacked its paws together, chap-chap.

"Heh, it's nothing... huh?"

He was scratching his head, sheepish, when nature's bowling ball swung into view.

"Oh?"

Tok— Minhyuk pocketed the coconut at once and climbed down to the sand. He had no way to supplement protein after a workout as it was. Physical recovery up ten percent for an hour? Sweeter than rain in a drought.

"Hey, so..."

"Hm?"

"How do we eat this? It's super hard."

Tonk, tonk— Elia rapped the coconut as she asked. Hmm. Fair enough. Coconuts were not exactly known for being soft.

"...Elia."

"Yeah?"

"Step aside for a second."

Minhyuk rolled up his sleeve with grim resolve and brought the edge of his hand down on the shell.

Crack—!

The coconut split clean in half and died.

"Whoa! Boss, you're crazy strong!"

"...?"

Elia's eyes went round, but Minhyuk was no less startled.

...Huh?

He had expected a hairline crack at most. I've... gotten stronger than I thought.

Is this what a rising Strength stat is really worth?

It felt like being born again—from a frail, sickly office worker into a robust he-man of the jungle.

Anyway. He took one refreshing swallow of coconut water, then set to the farm work he had put off, the meerkats alongside him. Trickle, trickle— Potatoes, cucumbers, and cherry tomatoes, the daily bread of his stats. He watered them with care, so as not to hurt a single one. Sprout, sprout—! The corn, for the record, was growing slowly, but healthily.

"One—! Two—! Three—! Four—! Five..."

After that he lay down for a short nap, then blasted through six sets of strength training and made a snack to take the edge off his hunger. Today's menu was salty french fries and ketchup, and the method was simple. Sizzle— Slice the potatoes thin, fry them in oil, season with salt. Loosen mashed cherry tomatoes with a little sugar, and that was that.

Maybe...?

Minhyuk glanced overhead. Unfortunately the message window was as quiet as ever.

"Mm... figures. No good."

When he had made the potato-tomato soup, mysterious ingredients had mixed and the skill Cooking (LV.1) had triggered. This time he had used potatoes and cherry tomatoes again, so he had half-hoped for something—anything. A slapdash shortcut like this didn't fly, it seemed.

"Huh? This isn't a round potato..."

"Just try it. It'll taste even better."

Minhyuk smirked and held out a fry dipped in ketchup. Kids' palates always preferred fries to potato pancakes anyway.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"For real...?"

Elia, eyeing him with open suspicion, took one bite of the fry—and shuddered from head to toe.

"Mmm! This one's even tastier!"

See? He hadn't been kidding.

"Heh... now I've got a real shot!"

His stats had climbed a long way. The baby monkey went without saying. Even against the tribe's representative, the testosterone monkey, he had numbers worth a scrap.

Strength in the sevens, Agility at fifteen, Sense in the high sixes. But that was not the end.

Glug, glug—

He drank the buff potion he had prepared in advance.

Strength and Sense, the fundamentals of climbing, inflated to eight. Agility, which governed explosiveness and speed, shot all the way to eighteen.

And with the coconut, the doping regimen was complete.

"Time for revenge...!"

The testosterone monkey? Don't make him laugh. The he-man of the jungle was on his way to deliver a proper lesson.

Chk— chk— chk—

He marched on the monkeys' home ground with Kkureung and the Little Wooden Soldiers at his lead. And yet...

...Hm?

Had he been too tense to notice last time? The monkeys' ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠level of civilization was anything but ordinary. Not quite huts, but they had living spaces of a sort built up in the trees, and smoke curled here and there, as if they used fire. There was even a monkey reading a stone tablet with glasses on.

What? Were they always this far along?

Hah. No point getting spooked. It might have been thrown together just to psych me out.

"Ukki—?"

"Ukki— ukkikki—?"

Yeah. I'm back, you little bastards.

"Hey. You. I formally challenge you to a duel."

Minhyuk pointed straight at the testosterone monkey.

"Ukki—? Ukkikki—?"

A human, of all things? You dare challenge me?

"You never know which is long and which is short until you put them side by side. And I'm taller than you."

A little psychological warfare. Eyes locked—a sharp little staring contest—they took their places at the starting mark of the official match tree.

Krrrk... krrrk...

Monkeys hauled on a pulley rope with everything they had. The instant the stone tied to it struck the ground with a thud—

Fwat—!

Minhyuk and the testosterone monkey sprinted for the tree. The faster start belonged to the monkey.

"Ukki—! Ukki!"

"Ukkikki—!"

"Ururukki—!"

Cheers poured from the monkeys at the same time, so one-sided it bordered on unfair.

But he was Ji Minhyuk. A man who didn't know the meaning of giving up... no. A man who would quit when it was time to quit, yet would dig in relentlessly if even a thread of a chance remained. He was not about to shrink before a pack of cheering monkeys.

"Haaaaaaap!"

Fwip-fwip-fwip-fwip-fwip—!

Minhyuk climbed, arms and legs a blur. The testosterone monkey had started up the trunk first, but his acceleration was so overwhelming the lead hardly mattered. In an instant the gap began to slam shut.

"U-ukki—? Ukkikki—?"

Wh-what? That bastard—?

The testosterone monkey panicked as Minhyuk closed in beneath its feet. But didn't it know?

Your little one got cocky too, and I caught him by the rear.

"I have zero interest in your muscular backside!"

Fwip-fwip-fwip-fwip-fwip—!

Past the ankle, the knee, the waist—until he drew level with the testosterone monkey's shoulder. Minhyuk clenched his teeth and put on a final spurt.

"U-ukki...?"

"Ukkikki...?!"

"Ukkikkikki!"

A fierce contest. The race had reached its final stretch, and the instant the finish line—a golden banana—shimmered before his eyes—

Snatch—!

Minhyuk seized the golden banana a single beat ahead of the testosterone monkey.

"That's it!"

Ah. That thrill of victory, electric no matter how many times he tasted it.

"Heh. Nothing to it."

Back on the ground, Minhyuk looked around. Monkeys who had been watching from all over the tree village wore the same stunned expression. He didn't bother asking them where the bananas were, the way he had before.

Because—

Ting—!

The message window he had been waiting and waiting for rose up.

Yeah, yeah. Let's see you hand it over.

Ooh. The experience was pretty generous. From here on, subquests were a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠mandatory clear.

And the hidden special reward he had been anticipating most...

"...Huh? A title?"

Minhyuk's face went blank with puzzlement. At the same time, the monkeys flung themselves flat before him as one.

"Ukki...!"

"Ukkikki...!"

"Ukki...!"

He had won the people of the jungle.