Chapter 71
Chapter 71
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter Title: Isolde - (5)
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Five days had passed since then.
The daily routine of the Magic Department flew by. After classes ended each day, Isolde would tackle her urgent assignments before holing up in the library, throwing herself into her research.
"What kind of magic would be the most efficient way to make this move...?"
Dancing Doll. She had to implement it using only general-purpose magic.
'The difficulty is too high.'
It was nearly impossible at the student level. Controlling dozens of joints simultaneously would require an incredibly complex mana circuit, and just the balance calculations alone would fill an entire blackboard.
If efficiency were the goal, it was absolutely the wrong topic to choose.
However...
"Enjoy the magic itself..."
Otilie's words echoed in her ears. Could she enjoy it? Purely explore it without the fear of failure or anxiety over losing points?
Isolde shook her head. She had no time for stray thoughts. She was in the middle of sketching magic circles to design the most optimized structure.
"Senpaiiii..."
A whining voice.
It was Charlotte, a junior from the Magic Department. She looked on the verge of tears as she clasped her hands together and bowed her head deeply.
"...Please help meee..."
"Charlotte, what is it this time?"
"It's the topic selection... I just can't get a feel for it. I'm totally screwed."
The old Isolde would have smiled and opened her notes for her. She might have even brainstormed together and outlined it entirely.
But right now, her desk was covered with the assignment for Otilie.
"...Hmm. Charlotte, wouldn't it be better if you picked your own topic? That's probably part of the evaluation too."
"But I really have no idea."
"..."
Charlotte lifted her head slightly.
Isolde wasn't the type to miss the hopeful glint in those eyes.
In the end, she pulled a bundle of parchment from her pocket. It was the list of topics she'd shown Otilie five days ago and gotten shot down for.
"Charlotte. Here, use this as reference."
"Huh? Isn't this what you were going to do?"
"I decided on something else. Just pick one from here. There's plenty of research material in Library Section 3."
"Aha! Thank you! Senpai is the best!"
Charlotte snatched the list like she'd struck gold and bowed deeply.
She would surely come back again. Since Isolde had prepared the topics herself, Charlotte firmly believed she'd get help with them.
'At this rate, I'm really just a tool.'
A tool.
As that thought crossed her mind, Isolde recalled the memory from the dumpster that day. The black-haired student who acted however she pleased, heedless of others' gazes.
She reached for her pen but stopped, calling out to Charlotte who was about to leave.
"Charlotte."
"Y-Yes? What is it, senpai?"
"Do you know about the chapel on the west side of the academy?"
Charlotte tilted her head at Isolde's question.
"Of course! It's super famous."
"Famous?"
"Yeah! The priest there is this amazing quack... I mean, they say he gives incredible counseling. My friend went and broke up with her boyfriend after."
"Suddenly counseling?"
"Well, it's technically confession... but among students, it's basically used like a worry consultation spot."
"...I see."
Worry consultation spot.
Otilie had said she'd found her self-esteem there.
"But whatever... it probably wouldn't mean much to you, senpai. You don't have worries like that anyway."
"...Right."
After Charlotte left, Isolde sat lost in thought for a while.
"Hmm..."
Isolde placed her hand on her chest.
The mana link was still connected to Priest Leo. The faint, warm pulses transmitting through it tickled her heart for some reason.
"Muse... was it?"
She had no faith. If God existed, her father wouldn't have died in that brutal cold.
But she wanted to meet this Muse that Otilie had spoken of, properly, just once.
With a soft rustle, Isolde pulled a magic book from the shelf.
It was a grimoire containing voice modulation spells.
*
"I'm gonna die, for real."
After the cathedral collapsed, my workload had become murderous.
From morning mass to afternoon confessions, people flooded in without a break.
With reconstruction starting on the cathedral, all of Erebos's demands had poured into this tiny chapel.
And it wasn't just the faithful causing issues. Most were students with little faith, just seeking answers in the confessional. Rumors about this place had apparently spread across the entire academy over the semester.
I needed to figure out a solution soon.
Ding-a-ling.
As I was thinking that, the last visitor of the afternoon arrived.
"Come in."
I sensed movement beyond the partition. But the atmosphere felt strange.
Usually, people sighed or started venting the moment they entered, but this one was holding even their breath.
"What sin have you come to confess?"
I spoke first. After a moment, a peculiar voice replied.
[It's not so much a sin... I came because I feel lost.]
The voice was androgynous, mechanical, neither clearly male nor female.
Yeah.
Like it was using a voice changer.
'Voice modulation? Do they even have machines like that in this era?'
No way.
It had to be some magical means.
Someone extremely wary of revealing their identity.
'A wanted criminal maybe?'
As I pondered, Void, who had been dozing on my lap with his head bobbing, suddenly perked up.
[Nng! Nng!]
He started wagging his tail furiously toward the partition.
Like he'd just seen his meal ticket.
'...Ah.'
I realized who it was instantly. There's only one person in this world who gets that reaction from him.
The one supplying him mana.
'It's Isolde.'
Otilie's hype had finally paid off.
I straightened up and cleared my throat.
"Sister, could you explain in more detail?"
[I'm... not a sister, though...]
"..."
Was that the setup?
"Then, brother. Please explain in more detail."
[I...]
Isolde—or rather, the anonymous student—cautiously opened up.
[I've spent my whole life just running down a set path. I was afraid that if I looked back, I'd fall into that cold, dark pit again.]
The voice carried deep fatigue and fear.
[People call me a genius, perfect. They praise me as kind and gentle to everyone. But... it's all... an act.]
"An act?"
[I'm not actually good. I just... put on a good show.]
Even through the modulation, the watery tremble couldn't be hidden.
[I'm scared of becoming useless. Scared that people will turn their backs when they see no more value in me... So even when I didn't want to smile, I did.]
"..."
[Now I don't even know what I like, what I hate. Or if there was ever a 'me' to begin with... I don't know anything anymore. So...]
Isolde's words stopped there.
She probably couldn't find the words to continue.
But as the listener, I understood clearly.
"Sister."
[Not sister.]
"Brother, I have some advice for you."
A tense gulp came from beyond the partition.
"First... cases like yours are called Good Child Syndrome."
[Good... Child Syndrome?]
"Yes. It's the fear of being abandoned if you don't meet others' expectations."
Isolde is a bit different from Elise.
Elise wanted to express her repressed self.
But Isolde's self was faint to begin with. Believing her existence had no value without utility, she constantly proved herself.
It's a type I've seen a few times back on Earth. Nicely put, a saint; harshly, a pushover. Maybe that's why I said firmly,
"You don't need to be good."
[Pardon...?]
"Don't fear disappointing others. Relationships are give and take. If people leave because you don't give, Isol—er, brother—they weren't worth receiving from anyway."
[...]
"You're not a tool, brother. You don't live to be useful; you find uses because you live. Remember that."
Even without me saying it, Isolde might have found her own path.
The Isolde from the original story might have too.
But I can't just leave the protagonist agonizing in front of me.
Besides, with the potential threat named Void on my lap, this was my business too.
"What meaning is there in a life spent only accommodating others? That's just a doll."
[D-Dol... bro.]
"Yes. A doll. Just a puppet."
Maybe because I'd been with Otilie lately, Isolde caught her breath at the word "doll."
"So first, brother, you need to set down your mental burdens. Empty your heart completely, then fill it with 'you'."
[How... do I fill it?]
"No need for anything grand. Find what you like. Even if it seems useless to others. Start with whatever catches your eye right now. What you want to do. What you desire. What looks fun."
Isolde is a genius. Point her in the right direction, and she'll find the way herself. No need to spoon-feed.
[What I... want to do...]
Silence fell for a moment. Then the modulated voice returned, calmer now.
[Thank you, priest. I understand what you're trying to say.]
Isolde rose from her seat. She left the confessional as silently as she'd come.
I stroked Void's head as I gazed at the empty space she'd left.
"...Think that'll do it?"
[Mng!]
*
Back in her dormitory, Isolde removed her glasses.
Her reflection in the mirror looked the same as always, but her eyes were a little different.
"Empty it all..."
Isolde looked at the pile of documents on her desk.
Assignments from professors, papers requested by juniors, data dumped by peers.
No fun in them. She did them because she had to. To maintain her value.
But...
'So what if it's empty.'
The priest's words rippled faintly in her chest.
Isolde reached out and swept the pile aside. She sorted through, picking out the unnecessary ones, the ones she didn't want to do.
Now, she needed to find what Isolde wanted to do.
As she cleared the documents, her eyes fell on a book buried at the bottom of the desk.
It was the one Otilie had shown her in the library recently.
The bookmark was stuck on the page with an illustration of a dancing doll.
"I want to see it too."
Like Otilie, Isolde wanted to see the dancing doll.
She stood her pen upright and began carefully sketching a design on a blank sheet.
A structure that didn't need to be efficient, just enjoyable.
Not what she had to do, but what she wanted to.