Even Though I Have a Girlfriend
I liked it even though I have a girlfriend.
Seoyeon shifted her bag onto her lap.
I sat down right beside her.
“I didn’t think you’d claim a seat this far.”
“Why? Are you worried?”
“No, it’s not that.”
“Then it’s fine.”
Seoyeon leaned toward me, her long hair brushing my cheek.
“Aren’t you going to say thank you?”
“Thanks.”
“That’s not very sincere.”
“How am I supposed to be sincere?”
Seoyeon laughed softly.
“Next time, you take my seat.”
“If I arrive early.”
“So don’t be late.”
The professor walked into the lecture hall.
Seoyeon casually opened her laptop as if nothing had happened.
A moment later, something brushed against my arm.
It was Seoyeon’s arm.
The desk wasn’t that narrow.
I could have scooted away if I wanted to.
But she stayed right where she was.
I didn’t move either.
During the break, the guy sitting in front turned around.
“You two are from the same department, right?”
“No.”
I answered, and Seoyeon jumped in immediately.
“We’ve been sitting next to each other since the first day.”
“But you’re always together.”
“She says she’s bored without me.”
“When have I ever said that?”
“No?”
Seoyeon looked at me with total conviction.
“It’s not true.”
“You answered way too fast.”
The guy laughed and turned back to the front.
Seoyeon stared at her laptop screen and muttered,
“You’re really sensitive.”
“I don’t feel like I’ve been hurt.”
“That’s because you’re oblivious.”
Even as she said it, the corner of her mouth was still curved in a smile.
That afternoon, my arm brushed against hers several more times during class.
I couldn’t tell who had touched first.
The next lecture, I arrived first.
I sat in the back row as usual.
I placed my bag on the empty seat beside me and opened my laptop.
A moment later, one of the guys from our department walked over.
“Is this seat taken?”
I answered without thinking.
“Yeah, it is.”
He went to another seat.
Only then did I realize I was claiming Seoyeon’s seat.
She still hadn’t texted me.
As I was about to put my bag away, the door opened.
Seoyeon walked in.
She scanned the empty seats, spotted my bag, and immediately walked over.
“Who’s here?”
The way she smiled told me she was teasing me about what I said last time.
She placed her bag on her lap.
“This is your seat.”
“Oh, it became your seat?”
“You’ve been sitting here every time.”
Seoyeon glanced at me for a second, then laughed.
“You’re really listening.”
“I’m paying back a debt.”
“Then it’s over now?”
“What is?”
“The seat thing.”
“If you’re late.”
“I’ll be late on purpose.”
Seoyeon sat in the seat where my bag had been.
After that, whenever someone came early, they left the seat empty.
Two weeks passed like that.
For lunch, I usually ate with the guys from our department.
After class, a group of us would walk to the next building together.
It became completely natural for Seoyeon and me to walk side by side.
Personal messages started coming more often.
At first, they were about lecture materials.
Then about assignments.
Eventually, messages with no real meaning appeared.
They were nothing like the messages I sent Min-ah.
Min-ah always asked how my day was, whether I ate, when we could meet.
Seoyeon’s replies were usually vague.
But Seoyeon’s replies came faster.
I would bring up something that happened in lecture again.
We would laugh at nothing and the conversation would end.
Sometimes, even after the last message arrived, I would glance at the screen again.
I tried not to think about it too much.
Seoyeon was just a classmate from the same department.
There was no reason to call her anything more yet.
One day, after the final lecture, it started raining.
In the morning the weather had been clear, so few people brought umbrellas.
I pulled out the collapsible umbrella from my bag.
Seoyeon, who had been standing at the building entrance, saw it and asked,
“Want to walk to the subway station together?”
“You don’t have an umbrella?”
“If I had one, I would have asked.”
The umbrella was a little small for two people.
Seoyeon stood on my right.
Whenever we walked close to avoid the rain, our shoulders kept bumping.
When I tilted the umbrella toward her, raindrops fell on my left shoulder.
Seoyeon noticed my wet sleeve.
“You’re all wet.”
“I’m fine.”
“Come to the middle.”
Seoyeon grabbed my arm and pulled me toward her.
Our shoulders were completely pressed together.
The scent of her shampoo drifted from her hair.
It was closer than when she had looked at my phone screen before.
I kept my hand on the umbrella handle, pretending I was just fixing my grip.
Seoyeon looked forward and said,
“If my girlfriend saw this, she’d misunderstand.”
“It’s raining, what can I do?”
“Exactly.”
But in spite of her words, she didn’t pull away.
I didn’t speed up either.
We normally reached the station in about five minutes.
That day, the light changed twice.
At the second crosswalk, Seoyeon looked up at me.
“I noticed you’ve been quieter today.”
“That’s just how it is.”
“No, it’s not.”
“It’s because of the rain.”
“When it rains, you can’t talk?”
“Maybe.”
Seoyeon laughed.
“I hope it rains often then.”
“Why?”
“Just because it’s nice and quiet.”
The light changed.
When we reached the subway entrance, Seoyeon stepped out first.
“I’ll make my thanks more sincere today.”
Seoyeon turned to look at me.
“Thank you, Junho.”
She deliberately pronounced my name clearly, then walked down the stairs.
I folded the umbrella and followed a little later.
On Friday evening, the new students from our department were planning to drink together.
I had no intention of going at first.
The day before, when I told Min-ah about it, she said,
“You should go.”
“Do I really have to?”
“You have to go if you’re going to make friends.”
“I’ve already made some friends.”
“You’ll just be the only one left out.”
“That sounds annoying.”
Min-ah picked up my phone from the table and checked the time.
The screen lit up with a photo taken in front of the pension.
“It’s still there.”
“I said I’d keep it.”
“Do you like it?”
“Yeah.”
Min-ah glanced between the photo on the screen and me, then handed the phone back.
“Don’t drink too much.”
She paused for a moment, then asked,
“Are the girls coming too?”
“Probably.”
“Okay.”
Her voice was completely normal.
“Why?”
“Just curious.”
“Have fun.”
Min-ah added with a smile,
“Don’t cause any trouble.”
I laughed along.
“What trouble am I going to cause?”
Before saying goodbye to Min-ah, I leaned in for a kiss.
I tried to keep it short, but Min-ah grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me back.
“This is enough to let you go, I guess.”
“Let me go where?”
“To the drinking party.”
“Do you have to let me go?”
“No. Just remember.”
Min-ah pointed at her own lips with her finger.
“You have a girlfriend.”
I laughed.
Up until then, I hadn’t thought anything would happen with Min-ah.
About ten people gathered at the bar.
Seoyeon was already there.
When I walked in, the Seoyeon sitting at the inner table raised her hand.
“You made it.”
Two seats were empty — one next to Seoyeon and one at the end.
I hesitated, then sat next to her.
“Why there?”
“It’s empty.”
“There’s another one.”
Seoyeon pointed at the end of the table.
“Move?”
I stood up, and Seoyeon grabbed my sleeve.
“It’s fine. Sit.”
Her hand dropped right away.
But the spot where she had grabbed kept bothering me.
“You knew I’d come?”
“You said you’d join the group chat.”
“I saw that too.”
“You didn’t post it saying everyone should come?”
“It’s not like that.”
Seoyeon took my glass and poured me a drink.
“You’re late, so have one.”
The drinks went around quickly.
At first everyone was quiet, but soon voices rose.
The conversation started with assignments and naturally moved to dating stories.
Someone asked me,
“You have a girlfriend, right, Junho?”
“Yeah.”
“How long have you been together?”
“Since high school.”
“That’s a long time. No photo?”
“It’s on my lock screen.”
The guy next to me pointed at my phone.
The lock-screen notification was still there.
[Are you having fun?]
I picked up my phone.
The guy sitting across from me asked Seoyeon,
“You don’t have a boyfriend?”
“No.”
“Really?”
“Why? Does it look like I do?”
“Of course you would.”
Seoyeon lifted her glass.
“Then I’ll introduce you to someone.”
“What kind of guy do you like?”
Seoyeon didn’t answer right away; she just took a sip.
Then she glanced at me.
Our eyes met.
Seoyeon smiled first.
“Secret.”
Everyone quickly moved on to other topics.
It might have been nothing.
But after that, every time Seoyeon spoke, I kept feeling her eyes on me.
Under the table, our knees touched.
At first I thought it was an accident.
A little later it touched again.
Seoyeon didn’t move away.
I didn’t either.
My phone vibrated in my hand.
It was Min-ah.
[How much have you drunk?]
[Not much]
[What time did you get there?]
[On my way soon]
While I was typing, Seoyeon glanced at my screen.
The lock-screen photo of Min-ah leaning on my shoulder with a smile was still visible.
“Girlfriend?”
“Yeah.”
“You talk a lot.”
“I worry.”
“You’re close.”
Seoyeon took the last sip of her drink.
The tone was completely casual.
But our knees stayed touching.
Two hours later, the first people started to leave.
Seoyeon and I were heading in the same direction as the subway.
Two others walked with us until the intersection and split off.
In the end, only the two of us remained.
Seoyeon walked steadily, as if she hadn’t had any alcohol.
Then, at the crosswalk, she grabbed my arm.
“You’re drunk?”
“A little.”
“You look fine.”
“I am fine.”
The light changed.
While holding my arm, Seoyeon crossed the street with me.
Every time our bodies got close, our steps slightly mismatched.
Even after we reached the other side, her hand stayed on my arm.
The air outside the bar was colder.
My mind felt clearer than ever.
At the subway entrance, my phone rang again.
A notification appeared above the photo Min-ah and I had taken.
— Are you there yet?
“Yeah. Just arrived.”
— Did you drink a lot?
“Not much.”
— Alone?
I looked at Seoyeon.
Seoyeon was looking at me too.
Her hand was still touching my arm.
“Yeah.”
Only after answering did I realize I had lied.
If I said I was with a department friend, that would have been it.
I hadn’t done anything to hide.
But the lie had already left my mouth.
— Okay.
Be careful.
“You too, go home early.”
The call ended.
Seoyeon asked,
“No one else?”
“What?”
“The call just now.”
I didn’t answer.
Seoyeon didn’t ask again; she simply removed her hand from my arm.
Only then did the place where we had touched feel cold.
The subway was crowded.
Seoyeon stood in front of me, gripping the handrail.
Every time the train rocked, our bodies drew close, then pulled apart.
We didn’t speak much.
But every time Seoyeon looked up, our eyes met.
And every time, Seoyeon smiled first.
Just before her stop, my phone rang.
[Safe arrival]
I looked up. Seoyeon was standing right in front of the open door.
[You too]
Seoyeon checked the reply, waved, and the doors closed.
The seat where she had been sitting was empty.
I rubbed my arm once, where she had grabbed it.
When I got home, I texted Min-ah.
[I’m home]
[You didn’t drink much, right?]
[Yeah]
[Good night, boyfriend]
[You too]
I locked the phone and set it on the bed.
A moment later the screen lit up again.
A new notification appeared above the photo from the pension.
Min-ah was leaning on my shoulder, smiling.
This time it was Seoyeon.
[It was fun today]
[Yeah]
[It was the most fun at the very end for me]
[Why]
[Because you came with just the two of us]
A moment later.
[But it’s a little disappointing]
[What is?]
The typing indicator appeared, disappeared, then reappeared.
[You have a girlfriend, right]