End of Semester (2)
"So you're still keeping the part-time job?"
"Yeah. I'm going in today too. I cut back a bit over break, but yeah."
Looking at the three of them staring at me, I pretty much understood what they wanted to say.
But… no matter how rich my chaebol girlfriend was, loafing around doing nothing and draining her wallet just felt wrong.
I wanted to be her partner—not some kept man. Or, well… kept woman?
When I said as much lightly, they all nodded like that made perfect sense.
People shameless enough to freeload like that were rare.
Or rather—even if I set out to freeload, could I even manage it?
Eun-a's family ran a conglomerate everyone in Korea knew. Their overseas reputation wasn't quite as big as at home, but they still carried real weight. Even if she was the child of an affair, she was the Chairwoman's beloved daughter.
I didn't know exactly how much she was worth. I'd never particularly wanted to know. Eun-a had said she'd tell me if I really insisted—not because she didn't want me to know, but because she figured the moment I saw the numbers on her real estate, stocks, and cash, I'd freak out.
Honestly, just hearing that was terrifying enough that I didn't need the AC.
"Well, yeah. Living together, I can take living expenses—but I can't go buying gifts on my girlfriend's card."
"But then… so you're already thinking about marriage?"
"Didn't you see what this one posted on Everytime?"
"What?"
Seriously? Looking that up right in front of me?
Look more.
Look all you want.
Look at me showing off how lovey-dovey I am with Eun-a—look moreeee—!
"Whoa. What a mess."
"You're just happy, huh."
"If you're happy, it's OK."
"So you guys should hurry up and get girlfriends too. Later… ah."
"What is it?"
"…Nothing. Never mind."
"What?"
"Just… I realized talking about this to hopeless cases like you is just cruel. See? It's nothing."
"You bastard."
"No—it's bitch, actually."
"Bastard or bitch, same difference."
I'd gotten used to reactions like this by now. I was almost grateful they could swear at me without holding back. And it was kind of fun, like living through some common-sense-breaking story.
Wait—isn't this exactly a common-sense-breaking story?
I'd gone from man to woman, so… yeah? This wasn't just a futa yuri ultra-fast dark story—it was a common-sense-breaker too. That felt more interesting than the fact that I'd been TS'd.
"Humans really are… fascinating."
"There she goes again, off on some weird fantasy by herself."
"Yoo Eun-a knows your true nature and still dates you, right? Did you use some hypnosis app or what?"
"I'm genuinely curious. What about this one made Yoo Eun-a chase her so hard?"
"Hah… obviously my shining personality, face, and body, right?"
"The way you say that so confidently is annoying as hell, but…"
I straightened my back, pushed out my chest, and said it—and they all nodded reluctantly. The order was weird in a lot of ways, but it was an undeniable fact.
"Sometimes I wonder if this bastard is just a guy wearing a woman's skin."
"I've seen easygoing girls before, but this one's mind is definitely guy-like."
"Be honest. You got TS'd, right?"
"Yeah. Spill it. If you tell us now, we'll keep it secret from your girlfriend forever."
I shuddered in awe at my friends' incredible powers of deduction.
"Holy shit, how did you know?"
"I knew it."
"Ha, but a de facto marriage, though…"
I tilted my head at him as he poked at the ice with his straw, muttering blankly.
"What's wrong?"
"Just… time feels like it's flying by. What have we even done to already be thinking about stuff like that?"
"Hey. Watch your mouth. We're not that old yet. It's just this one who's weirdly fast."
"Looking at the world, our country's pretty slow about this stuff."
"Hey, hey. Don't get all gloomy for no reason. Life works out somehow. Jobs, marriage, whatever."
I leaned back against the seat and chewed over what they were saying.
Marriage and employment.
What was I supposed to do?
"Good work today."
"Good work~ You know the hours change starting next week, right?"
"Yeees~ I'm the one who told you about it, so how could I forget?"
"Here, take this."
"Stew?"
"Yeah. Packed it with meat, so take it home and eat."
"Hey, boss! What about me?!"
"You already had dinner earlier!"
"Thanks for the food!"
The boss handed me the stew in a takeout container, leaving the other part-timer grumbling behind. When business was good, the boss would sometimes treat the staff to food like this. Ever since I'd become a woman, sales had jumped way higher than when I was a guy, so I'd gotten this a few times lately.
I thanked the boss and headed straight out of the shop. The air outside clung sticky to my skin—looked like rain was coming. I stretched lightly to shake off the stiffness, bought a few cans of beer and some instant rice, and headed home.
Not Eun-a's place—my old place.
The top floor of a small villa with two mid-size cars parked side by side. That was where I'd lived ever since becoming an adult.
Climbing the dusty stairs to the top floor, moonlight filtered through the mottled window and lit up our place. I opened the creaking door and stepped into the empty little studio—barely two hundred fifty square feet.
"The stew's… still warm."
I tore open the instant rice I'd heated at the convenience store and cracked open a beer can. No table, so I finished prepping the meal sitting right on the bare floor. Leaning against the musty-colored wallpaper, I took a long pull of beer.
The bitter coolness cut through the heat, and I immediately scooped up a big bite of stew and rice. I chewed until the grains turned to mush, replaying the conversation with my friends.
Employment, and marriage.
Honestly, I'd never even dreamed of dating Eun-a, let alone marrying her. My love for her was real, and so was wanting to be with her. But I'd never thought it would actually happen.
Now that I was dating her, and a future where she casually thought about marrying me had suddenly landed on me, my head was a mess in all kinds of ways.
I wanted to get married.
Eun-a had said she didn't want a wedding because she had no friends, but that was just a matter of inviting a few close people and keeping it small. Nobody would oppose it.
Ah—or maybe there would be?
Eun-a's family might throw a fit… but honestly, they didn't feel like a real threat. I knew chaebols could do things ordinary people like us couldn't even imagine—but so what were they going to do to me? It wasn't like they'd kidnap and lock me up to threaten me not to marry Eun-a. And if they actually tried, they'd be the ones dead at the hands of Eun-a's mother.
And on my side, there was nobody to oppose it. More precisely, they'd have no choice but to give unconditional approval.
Marriage… I was going to do it. Yeah.
But employment was the problem.
Eun-a was pretty negative about me getting a job. Her stance was, do you really have to? From the perspective of someone who'd lived with employment as the only goal, the emptiness hit harder than any joy.
Of course I knew she said it out of consideration for me. When I was little, I'd just wanted to be a landlord and play games for the rest of my life without working. But that wasn't me anymore. I didn't have a clear goal, but just playing around… it pricked my conscience.
I—the man I used to be—hadn't wanted to become a kept man. I hadn't wanted to land a chaebol girlfriend and coast through life.
I just liked Eun-a.
Out of frustration, I downed beer after beer. It stung, and tears came.
"……."
I'd finished everything. My stomach had shrunk, so it was hard, but I forced it all down. I'd finished all the beer I'd bought too. Looking at my phone, quite a bit of time had passed.
Sitting in an empty place, not even turning on my phone, stuffing myself with food and drink until I was about to burst… what kind of pathetic scene was this?
The water was still on, so I roughly washed the dishes and then sprawled out on the floor. Thanks to a thorough cleaning, there was no dust.
Looking around the room, irregular marks were etched into the wallpaper. There was the fridge, the kitchen cabinets, and to the right the bathroom—inside that had been a compact washing machine. Past the bathroom had been the bookshelf with books and 3D puzzles I'd bought for fun. Next to that, the desk, the tiny balcony, and the foldable mattress and bedding. A two-tier standing clothes rack, a small dresser, a full-length mirror I'd bought cheap secondhand.
That had been everything in my home. Faint traces of where they'd stood still remained.
I'd sold most of the stuff secondhand when I moved in with Eun-a. Her place already had everything, so there was no need.
"……."
I crawled on all fours toward where the bed used to be. I curled up small and let the alcohol take me under.
I miss Eun-a.
I miss Senior.
Sitting before an unbearably stifling dinner table, Eun-a thought just that.