A Massage (1)

Charlotte trembled, letting out a low groan. "Ugh… euuugh…"

It wasn’t because her body hurt. A nightmare was dragging her down into deep darkness, tormenting her. That unforgettable day. The day she had tried so hard to forget. The day she had desperately struggled to erase. Yet despite all that, Charlotte was pulled back to it ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠with heartbreaking ease.

Our pretty daughter. You can sleep by yourself now, can’t you?

Mom. Where are you going?

Mm. I have something important to take care of. I’ll be back after you sleep just ten nights. Stay here until then, okay?

But… isn’t this the place where kids without moms and dads live?

There’s no other way.

Her mother’s awkward, smiling face. So much time had passed, yet that face remained painfully vivid in Charlotte’s mind. The revived image of her mother was filled with countless emotions—regret, remorse, agony, pain… Even seeing all that, the young Charlotte hadn’t understood. She had waited for her mother like a fool.

Hey. Come play with us.

No. I’m different from you. My mom’s coming back soon. She said after ten nights of sleep.

You actually believe that.

I’m not like those kids. I’ll be leaving this place soon. Because she believed that, she drew a line between herself and the others, building high walls around her heart.

A week passed. Then two. By the time a month had gone by, the young Charlotte finally realized something was wrong. Most of the children here shared a story similar to hers. They had arrived through nearly identical circumstances.

When she finally understood, Charlotte tried to adapt to the orphanage, but it wasn’t easy.

You said you were different from us, didn’t you?

Weren’t you waiting for your mom? Why don’t you keep waiting?

Hey, let’s go play somewhere else. That kid who hates playing with orphans is here again.

The painful mistake came flying back like a boomerang, smacking her on the back of the head. Regret changed nothing. She would end up completely alone.

…Or so she thought.

My name’s Yuri. What’s yours?

…?

Your name. What is it? Don’t tell me you don’t have one.

With Yuri’s arrival, Charlotte’s world changed. The bleak child no one spoke to. The strange child who thought she was the one pushing everyone away. The only person who approached that Charlotte without hesitation was Yuri.

If you keep making such a stiff face, everyone will be scared of you. How about smiling a little more?

Taking Yuri’s hand, Charlotte tore down the walls around her heart. As Charlotte changed, the other children at the orphanage began opening their hearts to her as well. Instead of lingering in the past, she could finally move forward. She learned how to smile.

And so Charlotte became bright again. No—far brighter than before. To forget the pain. To cover up her past mistake and grow closer to the other children.

Mom? I’m not waiting for someone like that anymore! I forgot all about it! I have all of you now!

Even when she felt sad, she forced herself to smile. Even when old memories surfaced, she smiled and buried them. When heavy thoughts crept in, she acted innocently and scattered them away. She had lived like that for years.

But sometimes—very rarely—when Charlotte grew weak, when both her body and mind began to crumble, an uncontrollable wave of agony would crash over her.

"Mom… don’t go…"

She had thought she overcame it. Thought she had forgotten. Believed she had become stronger. But in truth, nothing had changed. This nightmare seemed to whisper that very truth to her.

"No. Nooo…! Hic!?"

"What a noisy awakening."

"…!"

Charlotte shot upright, eyes flying open. Right beside her, Aslan was calmly turning a page. He glanced at her face for a moment before returning his attention to the book.

"Did… did I say anything while I was sleeping?"

"Who knows."

"I feel like I was sleep-talking…"

"I wouldn’t know. I didn’t hear anything. You were sleeping quite peacefully."

Ah. Was that true? Then that was a relief…

Charlotte noticed her body felt surprisingly refreshed and tilted her head. Turning, she spotted a pile of damp towels. Had he stayed up all night wiping her sweat?

"S-sorry… I made you stay up all night because of me…"

"I don’t sleep much at night anyway. Don’t worry about pointless things. It was simply the difference between reading in my office or reading here."

"Hmmmm?"

Was that really it? Reasoning mode, activate! The book Aslan held appeared well-read, opened near the middle. But the real clue was the bookmark—still sitting in the first few pages! It meant he hadn’t been able to read much at all, constantly having to set the book down because he was too busy!

What could he have been so busy with? No idea! Reasoning complete!

"Hehe! I believe you!"

Charlotte smiled brightly and stretched. Her body had felt strangely heavy since yesterday, but now she was bursting with energy. It felt like something had been recharged. She didn’t know what exactly, but still!

Rubbing her eyes, Charlotte froze.

"Huh?"

She found dried tear tracks around her eyes. Glancing sideways, she saw Aslan still pretending to be completely absorbed in his book, showing zero interest in her. There was no way he hadn’t seen her crying in her sleep. Yet he claimed she had been sleeping peacefully…?

Charlotte realized his words were full of holes and broke into a wide grin.

"You seem to have recovered your strength."

"I’m full of energy. Perfectly fine!"

"Then go eat. Julia should be having her meal around now too."

"What about you, Mister?"

"I’ll finish reading and join later."

"…"

Charlotte tossed the blanket aside and slid lightly to the floor. Her steps were light. Her own clothes had been changed, yet Aslan was still wearing the same outfit from last evening.

"You’re the one who carried me here, right, Mister?"

"Silvia moved you."

"I remember you carrying me on your back."

"…Yes. I moved you."

Aslan admitted it with clear reluctance.

"And changing my clothes?"

"The maids did that."

"I remember you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠dressing me."

"…Stop lying."

"Hehe. It was a joke."

With a little hop, Charlotte circled behind Aslan and jumped onto his shoulders. Leaning over, she brought her lips close to his ear and whispered softly.

"About me crying… please keep it a secret from Julia. I don’t usually act like this. My body and heart have been so comfortable lately that I let my guard down."

"I will. As for what happened last night, I won’t remember a thing."

He really was clumsy when it came to showing consideration. Charlotte giggled.

"And sometimes… if I feel like crying, can I come find you?"

"Do as you like. Holding back tears forever will only make you sick."

"Hehe. Then I’ll come find you right away so I don’t get sick."

I’m fine. I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠forgot everything. I’ve overcome it all. She could no longer keep repeating those words while swallowing her tears. She had hidden it from Yuri and hidden it from Julia, but in front of Aslan—who already knew everything—maybe it was okay.

"From now on, I’ll only show my weak side in front of you, Mister."

The moment she whispered in that sweet, coaxing voice, Charlotte felt Aslan flinch and tremble slightly. Hehehe. It felt like she had landed a solid hit! Charlotte laughed cheerfully as she slid off his back.

"I’m hungry! Time to eat! What’s for breakfast today, Juliaaa!"

"…"

Charlotte dashed out with her usual boundless energy. Left alone in the room, Aslan touched his flushed ears and muttered.

"I really feel like I’ve become a nanny…"

He had no interest in the past Charlotte had endured or the trauma she carried. He simply hoped with all his heart that from the moment she arrived here, she would only create happy memories. That only happiness would lie ahead on her path.

…Because only then would he avoid being murdered.

"You’re sure you’re okay, right?"

"I said I’m fine!"

She says she’s fine.

"Let me see your forehead for a second."

"Agh. At this rate my forehead’s going to wear out."

He had already checked it nearly ten times—by hand and with a thermometer. Every result came back normal.

"Alright. That’s enough. You seem completely recovered, so you may go outside and train."

"Yay!"

This was starting to feel like brain rot. The physician was probably busy; dragging them back and forth over nothing would be unreasonable. I casually ignored Kali’s final demand and gave the overflowing-with-vitality Charlotte permission to go play.

"…"

When I had seen Charlotte’s vulnerable side, I had worried deeply. Even though she always looked so bright, her wariness ran surprisingly deep. I had expected the darkness inside her heart to be quite heavy. Just how large were the wounds she kept hidden? Had they already festered? If she realized I knew, would she start avoiding me?

My worries had been endless, yet—

"Hoo. What a little devil…"

Who would have thought she would turn it into a secret shared only between the two of us? I had deliberately pretended not to see or hear anything, yet she had still extracted a declaration that she would only show her weak side in front of me. It was slightly bewildering, but this was fine. Charlotte now had a place where she could let her tears flow.

For a child without parents, the value of such a person was impossible to put into words. Maybe Julia needed one too. Should I tell her later that it was okay to cry in front of me?

…I considered it for a moment.

I’d probably just hear “It feels unpleasant, so get lost.”

It was better to drop the idea immediately. Julia’s contemptuous glare was enjoyable maybe ten times a day. Any more than that and it started doing real damage.

Sighing, I closed the book. The moment I stood up—

"Ugh?"

Maybe I had been sitting too long. A sudden cramp seized my leg and my body staggered. It hurt. I couldn’t stand.

Silvia. Was Silvia around? The girl was always hiding in my shadow when I didn’t need her, but the one time I actually did—

"Urgh…"

"Mister?"

The door creaked open again. Charlotte poked her head in, tilting it curiously. Then she grinned—a distinctly mischievous, devilish smile.

"Mister. You got a cramp, didn’t you?"

"It’s fine… just go…"

"If you’ve got a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠cramp, you’ll have to use your massage coupon, right?"

Ehehe. Charlotte approached slowly, wearing the kind of smile only a little devil could make.

…I never imagined the massage coupon would be used like this.