Olivia's Holiday
"Are you really Olivia?"
Oh? So that was it. Even a father as indifferent toward his daughter as this one had at least noticed something was wrong with her. That was what he meant.
The answer, though, was simple enough.
"Yes."
Even if the Ashtar Duke had asked first whether I was Noah, I would have said yes. But just as Celia put it, I was Olivia as well.
I had accepted that about myself by now. So I could answer, without a shred of falsehood, that I was Olivia.
That's right. I am Olivia.
Just a strange, unpredictable Olivia who no longer matched the one the Duke knew—nothing more.
"However."
"However, it's strange? You were indifferent to your daughter all this time, but no matter how you look at it, this can't be right. Is that it?"
No matter how he looked at me, the person in front of him was hard to accept as his daughter. Something like that, I supposed.
"If I'm being honest, yes."
"I am Olivia. You could say I'm an Olivia Father doesn't know—but I'm still Olivia."
Anyway, I was Olivia. That was all either of us needed to understand. There was no need to drag souls into it, or fragments of the Demon King. Digging into all that would have been far too much trouble.
Besides, my main stage was the capital, not Ashtar Territory.
"Is that so."
"As I told you before—"
"Go on."
Mm. No reason to leave room for doubt next time either.
"I've said it again and again—don't doubt me. Just believe in your daughter, for all the years you failed to. I, for my part, am at least not throwing away the Ashtar name, because I know how hard Father and Mother are trying to make up for what they couldn't do for me."
I was making good use of the Ashtar name, after all.
This time it had come back to bite me—but what could I do?
"At least, is it?"
"Well, isn't it? Honestly, if I weren't the Saint, I'd be the worst daughter the Ashtar family could have. You know perfectly well how a noble young lady who gets her engagement broken off is treated these days."
Whatever the real causes, that was how the world saw it. Drawing a hard line again now would only make him more suspicious.
Trouble was something I refused on principle.
Next time I would ask the Emperor for leave.
No—better to submit a formal withdrawal from Attelina as well.
There was no telling how exhausting things would get after this.
As for the Ashtar business, I no longer even felt particularly angry about it. I had more or less accepted it. Time wore down the rage that piled up inside a person until it simply vanished.
At least, that was how Olivia Lapa Ashtar saw it.
I couldn't stay sulking forever. I had no real desire to understand the Duke or Katrina, but my position made that difficult.
Cutting ties with Ashtar would also cause problems with the Ashtar brothers who held stakes in the Demon Realm.
"You are not the worst daughter."
"Mm. Of course not. The Olivia of those days wouldn't have been."
I didn't want any stranger misunderstandings taking root, so this much at least needed to be clear.
"People change in an instant. Personally, ever since the broken engagement, I've thrown out every last scrap of a noble young lady's dignity."
And yet the way I still tried, almost by instinct, to maintain a bare minimum of dignity in front of Attelina and the other nobles was probably just habit.
I only wanted him to understand that much.
"Is that so. I suppose it is. If that's how you put it, I can hardly press the matter further."
"Then may I go?"
Right. Even if he doubted me, what could he do? Outwardly I was a perfect daughter by anyone's measure.
Yes, it was strange—but I was also useful to the house, and he had no power to dig into my insides and drag out my true nature. And I wasn't not Olivia.
So a father who had sinned against his daughter had no choice but to half-believe, half-doubt, and accept that I was Olivia.
If he asked again after this, I might actually get annoyed.
And if that happened—
"One more question."
"Yes."
I had been about to leave, and stopped short. Mm. Just as expected.
"Who are you?"
"I don't really know either."
I might as well toy with him a little.
Because more and more, even to myself, I no longer knew who I was.
With the Founding Festival over, daily life returned.
Or it would have—except I had made far too deep an impression.
Imperial power may have come from the Assembly, but final approval still rested with the Emperor who stamped the imperial seal.
Of course, outright refusal was a last resort; the Emperor's job was to accept most things. And I had become a presence that stood above even that.
The Duke left without a word, Katrina at his side. The way she had hugged me before they went still left a strange feeling behind.
Anyway.
After working this hard, wasn't I entitled to a little rest?
So I wanted to leave.
More precisely: Olivia needed rest.
If I had still been Noah, who knows—but as Olivia, the urge to dig in my heels and rest was fierce.
While I was at it, I planned to visit the Imperial Library as well.
First, I went to see the headmaster.
It was time to set the board.
Honestly, I had already forgotten the man's name.
Did something that trivial even matter?
In any case, one of the professors I had meant to meet at least once was there too. Galedo, wasn't it?
I decided to cry my eyes out in front of them both.
"Olivia is exhausted."
"Now hold on—"
The headmaster started to protest, but Galedo cut him off, and he settled for watching in silence.
"Attelina student, Saint, Taesa—I'm far too tired. There's an old saying for this."
"What saying?"
"He who does not work shall not eat."
There was a saying that those who do not work shall not eat.
I had burned those words into my mind more clearly than anyone.
Because that Master of mine had been that kind of woman.
"Yes. I've heard it myself."
"Well. I've done far too much work. My grades at Attelina are excellent, and I set an example for the noble young ladies."
I never mentioned it, but every time I came to Attelina I still got hounded.
On top of that, the nobles who knew the Emperor well had decided I was the same sort of creature, and had apparently ordered their daughters accordingly—so a great many noble young ladies were constantly pressing in on me.
Honestly, it gave me a headache.
Better than men, sure. Better—but a person still had feelings.
I wanted to ask those parents: instead of this, why not pair off your marriageable daughters with sons from other houses?
Though the Ashtar name was probably part of the reason.
"R-right."
"Not only that—as Saint, I take on every grueling task at the church."
"Wait. Lately that's been a girl who looks just like—"
Ah. So some of them had noticed.
That I had installed a double at the church.
Fair enough. If the same person appeared in two places at once, anyone would start suspecting a stand-in.
Most people simply kept quiet about it. The Attelina headmaster and professors had a vague idea, so I had expected the remark—but I stayed brazen.
I glared at the completely innocent headmaster.
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Please continue."
Good. He would hear me out to the end.
"On top of that I went to Ashtar Territory and ended up deploying to the Demon Realm, so I fought a war as well."
"R-right. That's true."
Cold sweat beaded on the headmaster's brow.
"And the Imperial Palace? As Taesa, His Majesty uses me for conversation and every manner of prank unsuited to his age. At the last Founding Festival, heaven knows what possessed him, but he poured me drinks—and every noble, from the steppe yokels to the central and provincial houses, now looks at me as the Empire's shadow power behind the throne."
Which is why I had a splitting headache.
"Hah."
"It's only because we're the same sex that it stopped there. If I'd been a man, the scandals would already be flying."
"Actually, they already—"
"Do you have a problem with that?"
"N-no."
I shut him up before he could say anything more useless.
Yes, the scandals were already circulating. That damned Emperor had been feeding me food in full view of every important figure in the Empire.
He had even fed the next Magic Tower Master the same way. Eating it made me a fool too, but the scandals had only grown worse because of it.
To outside eyes, he had claimed a flower in each hand—and premium flowers at that.
"Anyway, the truth is that Father and the family have been telling me to stop attending Attelina. As you know."
"Yes. Frankly, this place is beneath you."
Good. He understood. That was enough.
"Yes. To be honest, I am rather exceptional."
"So you're quitting?"
"But then I thought it over. Even as an Ashtar, dropping out wouldn't look good either."
There was such a thing as public opinion.
The family had said it would be better if I left, or perhaps graduated early—
"I could arrange an early graduation."
"But the Empire is large and wide. If word got out that an Ashtar young lady used her house to graduate early, people would inevitably find it suspicious."
In places that didn't know the capital's circumstances, nothing but dubious rumors about me would flourish.
Ashtar was a great enough house to be known even in the provinces.
"True."
"So for now, I'll rest. Just a little. I'm not well, either."
The headache was real enough.
What I had experienced in the Imperial Library back then had been too much. Whether that being was a future me or a past me, I still didn't know—but something like that existed.
"Ah. Well. That much I can allow."
His reaction was a little sour, but a glance at his face said he meant it.
So I had the headmaster's permission. The church had Berna, so that was fine.
The problem was the office of Taesa.
Asking the Emperor for time to rest was hardly difficult.
So I went to him and declared it outright.
"If you don't want to watch me quit, then give me a vacation."
"Very well."
...Hm? Had I heard that right?
"Excuse me? Really?"
"Indulging his woman's whims is part of an emperor's duties, is it not?"
That was hardly the issue.
No—maybe it didn't matter. If I denied it too hard here, I would only get worked harder.
In that case, the best course was to let the Emperor's annoying remarks go in one ear and out the other.
"And what of the Imperial Library?"
I still had to go in, after all.
"When do those sickle-wielding scribes plan to open it?"
Honestly, that was the biggest problem right now.
"The Founding Festival may be over, but the capital was open to the public the whole time. I hear they'll open it in a week."
I would have to accept that much. With the festival, merchants from the provinces had poured in by the score—he wasn't wrong.