A Cry for Conditioning at the Heart of the Magic Academy

The facilities briefing that Senior Dark Circles had dressed up as a dormitory orientation dragged on for quite a while after that.

"...This one's a magic tool for the water supply and the indoor piping, yeah? Take a look. The magic circle engraved here handles purification and recirculation..."

On it went.

"...Follow this circuit all the way along and it ties into the lighting controls, see? It branches here by floor, and after that the circuits split again by room..."

On and on.

"...Once you're second-years—hell, even by next semester—you'll be able to patch this sort of thing well enough. Listen properly now and it'll help you in class, too."

The explanation, which had carried us all the way around the dormitory, only came to an end in a little attic tucked into one corner of the roof.

"The core of the magic that handles this building's security and protection is up here in the attic, okay? But it's been sitting inactive ever since the Book Thief got expelled at the end of last year. It used to be their job."

"...I'm sorry. What?"

Startled by the sudden confession, I shot the question back on reflex.

Wait. What was that supposed to mean?

There was supposed to be security? Which meant a black mage breaking into the dorm shouldn't have been possible in the first place?

I found myself freshly astonished, all over again, by just how much malice this game bore ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠its player.

The sabotage was honestly too much...

"Right?! Isn't it ridiculous? You become a security-magic specialist majoring in protective magic, and the best you can do with it is break into the library and steal books? Does that even make ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠sense? Imagine if they'd graduated without ever getting caught. They might've landed a court-mage post at the imperial palace, or some grand duke's house, and gone straight for the treasury!"

"I-it's... really a relief they were caught beforehand..."

Nobles, the both of them—touchy about security, and a perfect match.

"Then what happens if somebody just barges into the dorm? What if they steal things?"

"Huh? Listen to you. Such ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a worrier. It won't happen, so relax. The kids in the other dorms don't even know, anyway. And what would students steal from each other? Homework, at most—and if you copy it, it shows."

Senior Dark Circles's utterly carefree answer set my innocent insides smoldering. Excuse me? That exact complacency is what got Olivia killed and the black-magic book under her pillow looted, you know?

I couldn't just let it go. I dug in.

"So you're just going to leave it like this? With no security at all? That's really fine? I'm the nervous type. I don't think I'll be able to sleep at night..."

"Hmm..."

At how doggedly I clung to the point, Senior Dark Circles scratched their head. Olivia edged over, hesitant, and gave my hand a tight squeeze.

"I-if... if you're really too scared... on a night you truly can't sleep... y-you can come to my room, so..."

"...?"

What was she even saying. I stared, at a loss for words, and Olivia flushed and let go of my hand.

"W-was that not it...?"

"No, I mean... thank you for saying it, at least..."

I answered so she wouldn't be embarrassed, and that seemed to be enough for Olivia, who broke into a grin. Ha... damn it. There I go, getting soft again...

"Mm. Then let's do it this way. For now, Hannah—the pink-haired one—Dorothea—the one with the glasses—and I will do everything we can. Later, one of you two learns protective magic and takes it over. How's that, huh?"

"Yes... if it's that much... I'm fine with it."

"Good, good. It's a promise, all right? Just so you know, protective magic is pretty difficult, and it sits kind of apart from the other fields. Still, it's worth learning properly. We all registered for it, then dropped it during the add-drop period."

"...Yes. Then I'll be the one to learn it."

Difficult magic? I wasn't especially afraid. I had stat-clicking.

Dump a pile of points into Knowledge and the rest ahead of time, and it's basically a free clear, isn't it?

Anyway.

The long, long dormitory orientation came to an end like that.

"...And that's everything! Thanks for sticking with it, both of you. If you've got questions, ask them now."

"Ah! Um, um..."

"Huh?"

...Correction.

I had thought that was the end.

"O-our dorm... is supposed to have three people... b-but one of them hasn't shown up..."

"Oh, right—our classmate!"

At the question Olivia offered so hesitantly, I smacked my own forehead in turn.

I'd nearly forgotten and let it slide. Our dormitory's third roommate, who still hadn't shown their face. The suspicious classmate whose name kept changing every loop!

"Right. There's a nameplate on the door and everything. But no sign of the person. Is that really okay?"

"Ah, you don't need to worry about it."

But Senior Dark Circles answered with perfect calm, as if it were nothing at all.

"You know how it is. Among kids who awaken to magic early, some of them enter a mage's service and live as apprentices before they ever come to school. A lot of those just register their names once they're of enrollment age and keep on with the apprenticeship. Or they turn up now and then when there's an exam, sit the test, and vanish again. Then later they take a semester or two and graduate right away."

"Aha."

So it was the homeschooling track.

Then was this mysterious classmate with the ever-changing name basically a background character? Someone who never appears in the game—just a name that rerolls ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠with the random seed every time.

Good. No need to fuss over it.

"Nothing else to ask? Let's head down and sleep. It's late."

"Yes!"

Orientation was actually over this time!

The days that followed were school life in earnest, one after another.

At last—at last...!! Precious days when I could sit in on all kinds of classes!

Or so I thought, brimming with expectation, as I took my seat.

"Er... so. Humanity's full-scale use of magic as a tool... by estimate, roughly six thousand years ago... the earliest record we can confirm is four thousand years ago... of the early Auberge civilization... meanwhile, in Palen..."

"..."

...Okay. I'm going to sleep.

Sleeping pill: confirmed.

"All right. For the next semester, we will be studying the standard orthography of the imperial common tongue. First—has anyone heard of something called the alphabet? No, no, not the nobles. Among the common-born. No one? To put it simply, the word alphabet is taken from alpha and beta, the first two letters of an ancient writing system about fifteen hundred years old..."

Gyaaaaaah!!!

Even a cakewalk class has to know its limits. Gathering a roomful of fully grown students, peach fuzz and all, and teaching them something on the level of single-digit addition and subtraction left me unable to string a sentence together.

Okay. I'm just going to zone out.

Boredom: confirmed.

At least Herbalism, held out in the greenhouse, was interesting enough to count as a mercy.

"...Which is why, when you gather forget-me-nots, you must take care not to damage the roots, so that the purifying and restorative components can be extracted intact. Does everyone understand?"

"Yes!"

"Yes!"

"Y-yes..."

"Then pair up. Take turns: one of you digs up a planted forget-me-not whole, and the other plants it back in the same spot. You must both try both roles!"

Facing Olivia across a long planter, fiddling with plants and soil, turned out to be surprisingly fun—and oddly healing.

Olivia did not look healed in the slightest...

"E-eep... th-the earthworm... it's wriggling...!"

...If I told her earthworms wriggle, I'd come off like a heartless robot, wouldn't I?

And so, working our way through this class and that, we arrived at the long-awaited period.

Robes and cloaks cast aside, the students had changed into the linen tunics, loose trousers, and plain, crude leather shoes handed out just before class, and gathered in the open yard. Every face was plainly overflowing with discontent.

I'm a mage. I have to train my body, too? That was the look.

I was in complete agreement.

...My Strength and Technique are both stuck at 1.

"Why the long faces? Anyone would think the dog you'd raised had just left this world. Hahahaha! Only joking, only joking!"

The professor had the hulking build of a man who looked as if he could clear a five-hundred-kilo total on the big three without breaking a sweat. With a frame so massive that one careless word might earn you a single punch and a nap, nobody found it easy to answer.

"I am Felix Brutus. A little over twenty years ago, in the Thirteen Popes' War, I was employed by His Majesty the Emperor and distinguished myself there. Anyone here heard my name?"

The moment the professor introduced himself, a scattered murmur rose here and there. Quite a few students were nodding, so he must have been something of a famous war hero.

Seeing that I clearly had no idea, Olivia leaned in and whispered.

"M-Magister Brutus... is one of the foremost powers... in the Empire... He's a famous magic swordsman, too..."

Wasn't a magic swordsman a trash-tier class?

The cliché where both the magic and the sword stall out at some mediocre midpoint, and you end up neither one thing nor the other.

"Why, once you become a mage, must you still train the body? Every year, the moment the new students arrive, I receive the same question. Think on it. Whether you shut yourself in a mage's tower and research all day, or plant yourself in some rich noble's court and squeeze them for research funds—do mages ever truly have cause to use their bodies?"

Everyone muttered and watched the professor's face with great care.

They clearly wanted to say no, but it was just as clearly not the answer he wanted, so they meant to keep their mouths shut. That was the mood! The professor seemed used to it. He didn't wait for an answer, and pressed on.

"No—the question is wrong from its very premise! The body is the starting point of everything! A healthy mind dwells in a healthy body, and so does healthy mana! Of the three elements that make a person—body, mind, and soul—the body is the most important: the origin of the other two, and the vessel that holds them!"

Everyone strained to catch the passionate speech pouring out of Professor Felix.

"Does a body and a mind exist without a soul? A golem or a homunculus, perhaps. Does a body and a soul exist without a mind? Those would be the patients mind-healers mostly face. But a mind and a soul without a body? That can no longer be called a person. Ghost, spirit, phantom—call it what you like, in the world of those who live and move, it is an unnatural existence!"

Metaphysics, in gym class? While everyone was still reeling from the ontology that had come out of nowhere, Professor Felix shouted the rest.

"And so mages are no exception—no, if anything, a mage must build their stamina and condition their body all the harder. There! I trust you have all understood! Then we begin class by following behind me for a light ten laps around the yard. Off we go!"

"O-off we go...!"

The moment the words left his mouth, Professor Felix shot forward, and the students scrambled after him in a panic, each trying to outrun the next.

And then...

"Huff... hahh... hack—cough—!"

"Gaaah... I'm dying...! My calves!"

"Hey, hey, what's wrong with you? Professor! This one's got a cramp!"

True to mages, they boasted a pathetic stamina, and dropouts started piling up from the third or fourth lap!

But among them there was one student who didn't look like a mage at all—sticking right on Professor Felix's heels without so much as a change of expression...

"...Huh? Wait, wait?"

A face I felt like I'd seen somewhere.

Ah!

I know that kid! The one from the very first chapter!

One of the three preset characters whose portraits had come up on the character select screen!

That one. That exact beefcake male character!!!

A playable character other than me, Anastacia, had appeared.