Chapter 136: The Magical Onahole
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 136: The Magical Onahole
Today was Friday, a day I didn't have to go to the Magic Tower.
In other words, it was the real start of the weekend.
Basically, first-year students at the Magic Tower had to attend from Monday to Thursday, second-years until Wednesday, and third-years until Tuesday.
Fourth-years, the graduating class, had a flexible attendance policy. They could come if there was a class they wanted to take, but they didn't have to show up otherwise.
The catch was, if you blew all three of your graduation exam chances, you were expelled.
Considering how I always failed to get Fridays off back in college, the Magic Tower was heaven.
But I still had to be there at 9 AM every day.
‘...Did I make a mistake enrolling here?’
It felt like I was going through high school all over again.
Even though I'd awakened my magic and gained a superhuman body, waking up early for school was still a struggle.
Still, being able to legally laze around at home every Friday was definitely a plus.
Just like how weekdays make the weekend shine.
Besides, it was the promotion exams that were blocked, not the grade advancement exams. I didn't have to wait a full year for those.
The difficulty would be higher, of course, but my skills were already beyond the graduating class level, so I wasn't worried about the first-year advancement exam.
I was planning to move up to the second year soon, which meant my weekend would start on Thursday.
‘...Just imagining it makes my balls tremble.’
My mood suddenly improved.
I rolled around in bed for a while before glancing at the clock. It was about 11 AM.
It was about time to do what I'd been thinking about for the past few days.
[Would you like to summon ‘Noel Ronnidella’?]
[Y/N]
[Y]
The moment I pressed the now-familiar screen, a blue streak of light appeared in mid-air and spread out in all directions.
Soon after, a familiar figure appeared beyond the light.
Ears incomparably longer than Iris's, blue hair that reached her waist, and a cotton-ball-like puff that seemed to have popped out right above her tailbone.
“Master!!!”
Noel, dressed in the same bunny girl outfit she wore when we first met, threw herself into my arms.
“There, there.”
The feeling of a woman's body in my arms after so long was like the first cigarette after three days of quitting. Not that I've ever smoked, so I wouldn't actually know what that feels like.
I soothed the tearful Noel by stroking her back. But it wasn't long before my hand started to wander downwards.
“Hngh, y-your touch is so lewd...”
“Have you been doing squats since I last saw you? It's so firm.”
Even through the slightly rough stockings, Noel's ass was firm and springy. It seemed perfect for slapping while taking her from behind.
For a long while, I lay in bed with Noel on top of me, burying my face in the nape of her neck and inhaling her scent.
Because of that, even though my morning wood had long since subsided, my lower half was still boldly making its presence known.
“Oh, right!”
Noel wriggled out of my embrace with a strange movement and glared at me, her eyes wide.
I was momentarily baffled by her sudden defiance, but she was strangely cute, so I didn't feel like saying anything about it.
“Don't you have anything to say to me?!”
“Something to say?”
I thought hard, but nothing came to mind.
“Ah, did your boobs get bigger?”
“No!”
“Then did you change your shampoo? Your scent seems a little different.”
“Shampoo? What's shampoo?”
“...Are you serious?”
I asked in earnest, but Noel just looked back at me with innocent eyes, as if she really had no idea.
I mean, how can she not know what shampoo is?
“Isn't that a thing from Earth?”
“Yeah.”
“Geez, then how would I know?”
“...Why wouldn't you know?”
She might be my summon now, but Noel was originally a messenger and employee sent by the guys who run that ridiculous 'Another World Dating App'.
Even if she can't draw out her full power because she was summoned in an unconventional way, shouldn't she at least be well-versed in basic information about Earth?
“You've been overestimating me for a while now, Master. Not that it feels bad or anything...”
Belying the way she'd been puffing out her cheeks and making a show of being angry just moments ago, Noel blushed shyly and settled gently on my lap.
I wasn't exactly trying to praise her.
“Of course, it's true that I have some knowledge about Earth. But at most, it's just a bit of common sense and some general concepts.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Hmm... I think it's okay to say this much. Master, you know what a subcontractor is, right?”
“Of course I do.”
“To put it simply, I'm like a subcontractor to a subcontractor to a subcontractor to a subcontractor to a subcontractor to a subcontractor to a subcontractor of a large corporation? Actually, I'm much lower than that.”
“...Aren't you basically a complete stranger then?”
“Hehe.”
If you go that far down the subcontracting chain, a major corporation's headquarters in Korea could probably be linked to a grandma selling herbs in a rural African market.
“For now, all I can tell you is that I'm the priestess of a certain tribe, and that I received an oracle one day that led me to you, Master.”
“You're a priestess?”
“Ahem! I'll have you know I'm a genius with the greatest potential in my tribe's history!”
That's strange. No matter how I look at her, she just seems like a common wild rabbit in heat.
“By the way, isn't it uncomfortable wearing that bunny girl outfit?”
“A little. But I can't help it. My tribe's rules are strict, and a priestess can only wear her priestess outfit.”
“...The bunny girl outfit is the priestess outfit?”
A dream-like tribe like that actually exists in this world?
But the way they forced these rules on my woman was infuriating. So much so that I wanted to go find them myself and have a deep, meaningful conversation with the other priestesses.
“So, about that... could I maybe borrow some clothes? The ones you gave me last time got torn in a fight, so I can't wear them any... Ah!”
Noel, who had been fidgeting with her fingers as she spoke, suddenly shot up from her spot.
“Master! Do you really have nothing to say to me?!”
“...I love you?”
“N-Not that!”
Even as she said that, she snuggled into my arms as if she couldn't resist, leaving me dumbfounded.
What's with her? She wasn't this easy before. Did fucking her once change her personality 180 degrees?
“I got hit by that bull-headed monster back then, and it hurt so much!”
“Ah.”
Only then did I remember Noel getting sent flying by the Minotaur's counterattack.
Her injuries were pretty bad, so I unsummoned her right away, but I never actually asked how she was doing afterward.
“...Sorry.”
I slowly reached out and wrapped my arms around Noel's waist.
“Were you hurt badly?”
“Too late!”
“I'm really sorry. I should have asked how you were first. I guess I just got excited seeing you after so long.”
“...You were excited?”
“Of course. I missed you so much.”
“...Really?”
“I even prepared a gift to give you when we met again.”
“A gift?”
I stroked Noel's hair as she peeked at me, her expression softening, and took the gift I'd prepared out of my inventory.
I'd paid a good sum of money to have an appraiser officially evaluate it, and it was judged to be a high-quality artifact.
The appraiser said it would easily fetch hundreds of billions at an auction. He coveted it so much that he even connected me with an auctioneer he knew without me even asking.
Curious, I met with the auctioneer, who immediately grabbed my pant leg and begged me to entrust it to him, promising he'd get the highest possible bid.
“What do you think? Of course, its shape is a little different from what you used to use, but it's still a two-handed weapon.”
“...”
Noel, having received the gift, stared blankly at the axe in her hands, seemingly moved beyond words.
[Bloody Minotaur's Two-Handed Axe
Grade: Epic
Allows the use of ‘Berserk’.
Allows the use of ‘Earthquake’.]
It was one of the rewards I got for defeating the Minotaur.
A high-quality artifact that came with two whole skills. On top of that, its overall design was sleek, making it an item any tank-class Hunter would drool over.
But without Noel, I wouldn't have been able to beat the Minotaur.
She may be my summon, but rewards should be distributed fairly based on contribution.
“...a gift.”
“Huh?”
Noel mumbled something, her head bowed low.
Was she so moved she was crying?
“HOW IS THIS PIECE OF CRAP A GIFT?!!!”
CRRRRAAAAASH!!!
“My house!!!!”
*
It was a rental, sure, but it was a brand-new house I'd been in for less than a month.
My sweet home, which I'd put a lot of effort into decorating.
I, who would normally clean once every two weeks, had been cleaning it every other day.
It had been a clean and tidy house, right up until an enraged Noel swung the axe around and merged the bedroom and living room into one.
“Pervert, rapist, degenerate, trash.”
“...I said I'm sorry, okay?”
But I couldn't really blame Noel.
Since her main weapon was a two-handed hammer, I thought she'd like a two-handed axe, but I guess it was a gift a woman's sensibilities just couldn't accept.
After a long rampage, I finally managed to calm Noel down by offering her a blank check, promising to do anything she wanted.
‘Still, how the hell am I going to clean all this up...’
I pulled the fuming Noel into my arms on the sofa and robotically stroked her head over and over.
My gaze, however, was fixed on the living room wall that had collapsed along with the TV.
Of course, it wouldn't be that hard to fix if I just threw some money at it. But right now, I felt like someone who'd just spilled a freshly delivered order of tteokbokki all over their bed.
You know you can clean it up, but just looking at it makes you sigh and feel overwhelmed.
But what could I do? This was the fate of an ignoramus who didn't even understand a woman's heart.
“...I'm hungry.”
“Anything you want to eat?”
“I'm not sure. I don't know much about Earth food.”
“Here, take a look at this and pick something.”
I handed Noel my phone. The delivery app was open on the screen.
“Delivery X Tribe? What's this?”
“You pick the food you want from there, and a delivery person brings it to the house.”
“Wow...”
Like someone touching a phone for the first time, Noel tapped here and there, fascinated.
Whenever she saw a menu item she wanted to try, she added it to the cart without hesitation.
Hamburgers, pizza, jokbal, jjajangmyeon, malatang, donkatsu, and so on.
‘...Can she really eat all that?’
I've heard some people relieve stress by eating. Noel must be one of them.
It wasn't like I was short on cash, so it didn't really matter. I was planning on taking her to an expensive restaurant for dinner anyway.
“Oh, right. Take a look at this.”
“Yes?”
I tossed an item I'd taken out of my inventory to Noel.
Thwip. Since it was light and small, Noel caught it without any trouble.
“This is...?”
“What do you think?”
“Uh... it's strangely soft...? And a little sticky... The texture feels kind of like a slime.”
“You don't know what it is?”
Noel kneaded the object I'd given her and nodded. She seemed to quite like the feel of it.
“What is this?”
“Hmm, it's something you use for cleaning.”
“You use this for cleaning...?”
Taking the object back from Noel, who was tilting her head, unable to imagine how it could be used, I told her I was going to the bathroom and left.
Click. I locked the door and sat down on the toilet lid.
“How dare she destroy her master's house?”
I didn't need a mirror to know a smirk was playing on my lips.
I gripped the strangely soft, slightly sticky, slime-like thing that Noel had been mindlessly fiddling with.
[Magical Onahole
Grade: Rare
Connects to the genitals of the last member of the opposite sex who touched it.
Current Target: Undecided
Available Connections: Mouth, Pussy, Anal
※No need to worry about pregnancy, so feel free to unload to your heart's content!]
[Set target for connection to ‘Noel Ronnidella’?]
[Y/N]
[Y]
“Time to give her a little lesson after all this time.”
It definitely wasn't because I wanted to try out the onahole.
Probably.