Moving Preparations! The Unbearable Saintess (4)
The door to Minerva's Library exists everywhere. The path I walk is the Goddess's path, and the Goddess's path lies wherever I choose to go. In other words, all I have to do is think of the library while walking down an alley.
If I turn left into this alley, the door to the library will appear.
With nothing more than that single thought, I turned the corner.
Boom—
Minerva's Library materialized before my eyes.
It was the moment past memories surged up inside me.
‘S-someone, please help…!’
Ten years ago. The day I fell into this world. While I was running from thugs in an alley, Minerva's Library had been shining brightly.
‘W-where am I…?’
‘Welcome, wandering soul. Your name is Lee Junwoo, right? Welcome to this other world!’
That was where I first met Minerva. From that day on, I began my life as the Goddess's Apostle.
We're close now, but back then I resented her.
And now.
I stood in front of Minerva, who was sprawled on the sofa, snoring peacefully in her sleep.
“...What time do you think it is? How can you still be sleeping?”
Wake up—!!
“E-enemy attack…!! Wait, it’s not…? Junwoo…? Why are you here…?”
Startled by the loud voice, Minerva shot upright in a panic. She yawned like someone who had slept deeply, then asked me.
“Haaam… Aren’t you in the middle of moving? That’s why I was sleeping… What’s the matter, Junwoo?”
The matter was simple. I only needed her to lend me one book—the one containing Estia’s past.
“I want to see the past.”
“Whose past?”
“Estia’s.”
“No!! Absolutely not! No way!!”
Minerva defended herself with a rapid-fire barrage of no and absolutely not. Why did she keep refusing so stubbornly? I needed a reason before I could accept it, so I pressed her for an explanation.
“Why not, Minerva?”
“Runa and Hare. Their pasts are fine. But the Saintess Estia’s past is strictly off-limits. I’m saying this for your own sake, Junwoo.”
“Because the side effects are that severe?”
“...Yes. Extremely severe. In the worst case, you could die.”
Side effects that could kill me.
That was certainly dangerous. If I—the one protecting Minerva from the Demon King—died, it would be no different from Minerva dying as well. The same went for the hero party I was raising.
‘But if I check the future first, wouldn’t it be okay?’
I die. I don’t die. Minerva had the Lee Junwoo’s Future Series that could determine exactly that.
To hurry her along, I roughly tousled Minerva’s hair.
“Minerva. Just look at the future. If it says I’ll die from the side effects, I simply won’t read Estia’s past. Simple, right?”
“Stop—! My hair—! Stop touching it—! Let’s talk— Can we please talk—?”
“Fine, I’ll stop.”
“Huu…”
Minerva let out a long sigh. Then she picked up the Lee Junwoo’s Future Series from the table beside the bed and began to read. She focused so hard it looked like she was trying not to miss a single letter.
Time passed. When she finally closed the last page, Minerva spoke.
“...You won’t die from reading Estia’s past. Instead, you’ll need to rest your mind for a while. There will be aftereffects.”
“Aftereffects? How bad?”
“Your emotions will become extremely sensitive. The hero party will likely be hurt by your words. In exchange, they will grow, but…”
“Hmm…”
In return for gaining clues to treat Estia, I would become sensitive for a while. There are always gains and losses. It was unclear exactly what kind of wounds I would inflict on the hero party… The one comfort was that the outcome would lead to their growth. That was all.
After all… ‘If I can’t cure Estia’s addiction, the hero party will be destroyed.’
The hero party’s destruction would lead directly to the world’s destruction, which would in turn mean death for both me and Minerva.
When everything was taken into account, I had no choice.
I made my declaration to Minerva, who still looked half-asleep.
“Minerva.”
“Yes?”
“Bring me Estia’s past.”
“Giving orders to a goddess… You really must want to die…”
“Please.”
“You only say ‘please’ when it suits you…! Fine!”
Grumbling, Minerva fetched a book from the far side of the library.
The Saintess Estia’s Past
Negative emotions were already seeping out from between the pages like smoke.
I took the book from Minerva and stared at the title for a long moment. I needed to prepare myself.
…What kind of past does she carry, and how can her addiction be cured?
That was something I would learn by reading slowly, page by page, from this moment on.
Grip—
With a heart full of resolve, I opened Estia’s book.
…
What was written there was the tragic collapse of faith.
In front of the orphanage run by the church, a newborn baby was crying. No parents were anywhere in sight—only a slip of paper with Estia written on it, tucked inside the blanket that wrapped her.
Thus, Estia’s life began inside an orphanage.
‘Waah—! Waah—!’
‘There, there, Estia. Eat nicely…’
Life in the orphanage was not bad. In fact, the director took special care of Estia out of pity. As Estia grew older, she got along warmly with the other children and maintained relationships that felt like family.
‘All right, children. You need to eat well if you want to grow big and strong. Everyone, enjoy your meal.’
The orphanage director sincerely supported the children’s growth. Because she was so kind and gentle, the children treated her like a mother.
And so Estia grew up with care in the orphanage.
“Hehe…”
At nine years old, she sat in the yard gazing at the sky.
“Hehe, a butterfly…”
“Estia! What are you doing over there!”
“Huh? Rachel? What’s wrong?”
“You dummy! Today’s the day Berry gets adopted! You have to say goodbye!”
“Oh, right.”
Children raised in the orphanage were sometimes lucky enough to be adopted into other families. The empire only permitted adoption by wealthy households, so the other children looked on with envy.
Estia’s thoughts were different. Watching Berry leave in splendid clothes, she whispered quietly.
“…I like it here. I like living with my family! Do I really have to be adopted, Rachel?”
“Yes. We don’t have a choice. The church says we should live new lives.”
“But I like this life better…”
“Then stay in the orphanage forever! I’m going to be adopted by a wonderful rich family!”
“E-even so! At least tell me before you go! Promise?!”
“Sigh, okay. Estia!”
Rachel laughed brightly as she declared her ambitions. Estia was closest to Rachel, who was the same age, and their hearts understood each other best.
However.
The day after Berry left, Rachel disappeared from the orphanage without a word. Estia rushed to the director.
“M-Mom! Where did Rachel go…?!”
“Ah, Rachel… That child was suddenly adopted.”
“What…?! S-suddenly adopted…?! Without even saying goodbye to me…? W-why…?”
I hate Rachel…
Estia shed tears from the hurt. Even though she hated her, Rachel had been her closest friend, so she wanted to see her again. Even as time passed and she grew older, she could not forget her dearest friend.
Then, one year later. The year Estia turned ten.
“Estia. Congratulations. Your adoption has been decided.”
Estia’s adoption was finalized. Without even time to say goodbye to the other children, she was loaded into a carriage and taken somewhere. White-robed priests sat beside her.
‘W-where are we going…? Where is this…? I-it’s not a house…?’
The grand, enormous church of the Goddess’s faith. The carriage stopped at the very center of the order. The white priests dragged Estia out roughly. It was nothing like the word “adoption.”
When they entered the church and a deep, dark underground passage appeared, Estia finally realized the truth.
“E-everyone… it wasn’t adoption… Y-you all came to a place like this…? Rachel… Berry… the other kids too…?”
The adoptions performed by the church had been nothing but deception. She realized the children were being imprisoned here.
“N-no…! They must have all gone to good homes…! To nice families…!”
“Shut up!”
The priests threw Estia into a cell with iron bars. Inside were many girls and boys who looked about her age.
“Get in.”
“Aaaack—!!”
Thud—
Estia was tossed inside the cell and looked around. The children were covered in needle-like wounds. Every one of their eyes was lifeless, sunk deep in despair.
“T-this can’t be… It must be a dream… The Goddess… the church wouldn’t do this…”
It’s a joke. This has to be a joke.
Refusing to believe what she saw, Estia shouted past the bars.
“S-save me—!! I-I—!! W-was adopted—! There must be some mistake—“
“Be quiet, you trash. For the prosperity of humanity. Stay still.”
Priests were leading children away to be used in experiments. Dozens of them walked past with their hands bound. Among them was a familiar face. The reunion with the friend she had longed to see happened inside a prison.
“Ah, aah…!! R-Rachel—!!”
“…”
“A-answer me—!! Rachel—!!”
“…”
Step— Step—
Rachel walked on without a word. That was the last sight Estia ever had of her closest friend.
“Have the other kids… become like Rachel too…?”
After that, Estia never saw Rachel again. One by one, the children were dragged away for experiments.
“The noisy one. It’s your turn now.”
“Ah, aah…”
This is a dream. It has to be a dream.
Estia was dragged to the laboratory by the priest’s hand. They laid her on a bed and tied her with ropes so she could not move. Overwhelmed by indescribable terror, she could barely breathe.
“Test subject 51. Begin administration. Bring the injection, Eric.”
“I-I don’t like injections…”
As if her will did not matter, Holy Knight Eric brought the syringe. He hesitated for a moment before Estia, but eventually handed it over.
And then…
“The experiment that begins now will be recorded. If it succeeds… you will become a wonderful person who gives happiness to others.”
“I-I don’t want to… I don’t want that…”
“If you didn’t want to end up like this, you should have been born to good parents.”
Thud—
The experimenting doctor—the Pope—plunged a syringe filled with divine power into Estia’s arm.
“Aaaack—!! S-save me—!! It hurts—!! Please—!!”
Estia thrashed in agony. It hurt so much she wished someone would kill her. But the two pairs of eyes watching her gave no reaction at all.
Time passed.
“Haa… Haa…”
“…Test subject 51. First experiment successful. Return her to her cell.”
Estia passed the first experiment and was sent back to prison. When a day had gone by, the number of children in the same cell had decreased dramatically. Only deep despair swallowed Estia, and like the others, the light had vanished from her eyes.
They continued until the experiment produced a result called Holy Water.
“Thirty-first experiment successful. Divine power reaction is appearing from subject 51’s body. Eric, bring one of them.”
“Yes.”
One child was brought from the prison. The child was made to drink the divine power that flowed from Estia’s hand. Life began to return to eyes that had known only despair, and the child smiled as if happy.
The Pope spoke with fervor.
“…Success!! Eric! It’s a success! At last, the church has obtained a great ‘power’!! Haha!!”
An ingredient like a drug. And Estia, who could create it. The Pope planned to use her for a very profitable business.
“Now we lock up subject 51 and have her mass-produce Holy Water like a factory…”
However.
“…No, let’s not do that. How about making her the Saintess instead? Her appearance will be excellent later, and from what I’ve observed, her mind is sharp. She’s perfect for the role of Saintess.”
“The Saintess…?”
Eric gazed at Estia with greedy eyes. Though she currently looked terrible from her imprisonment, she would clearly grow into an astonishing beauty. Therefore, the greedy Eric spoke to the Pope.
“Send No. 2 to the factory. But let us raise this child’s influence in the church under the name of Saintess. Doesn’t it sound like a good idea?”
“…Not a bad suggestion, Eric. Since subject 51 has endured well until now, show her heaven.”
“Yes.”
Drip, drip—
Holy Water fell from Estia’s hand. Eric collected it in a cup and poured it into the mouth of Estia, who could no longer think clearly.
A blessing descended from a life of pain. A powerful Holy Water that led to happiness.
Estia gained the hope to live again.
‘Ah, aah… I, I… can live with this… Goddess… thank you… You have saved me…’
The Holy Water filled the hollow heart that pain had emptied. Life returned to Estia’s eyes. Having received an abundance of happiness she could never have obtained before, Estia could live once more as a person rather than a test subject. Because she had tasted happiness like falling into heaven through the power of Holy Water, she could endure any suffering as long as she had it.
“Subject 51—no, Estia—has grown beautifully and will become a great asset to our order.”
Thus, Estia, who had caught Eric’s eye, was able to leave the basement. With her natural cunning and the advantage of being able to produce Holy Water herself, she could even rise to a high position within the order.
However, the wounds in her heart could not be washed away, and she had no choice but to rely on Holy Water. Dependency. The meaning of her life now existed only through Holy Water.
“Rachel… Berry… Judy… Ellen… I hope you are all happy in heaven… I, I’m so lonely…”
I’m sorry for surviving alone.
Soothing her lonely and desolate heart with Holy Water, Estia lived at the top of the church.
What followed was the record of events from the moment she was kidnapped until now.
That was the bleak past of the Saintess who should have shone brilliantly.
“…”
“Junwoo, are you okay…?”
“I’m not… okay.”
It felt as if my mind had been ripped apart and gnawed on by insects. The aftereffects. In Sicilia Saten’s case, the physical pain had been worse. But after experiencing Estia’s past, mental anguish now ruled my body. It was on the same level as when I lost my mentor Aina. Even breathing properly was difficult.
“Haa, damn it…”
The church. To think they had been performing such experiments on young children. I had roughly guessed it, but experiencing it through Estia’s past made the pain indescribable. The endless experiments, the constant administration of divine power, the children disappearing every day, the anxiety of survival—all of it had gathered to torment a single young girl named Estia.
“If it hadn’t been for the Holy Water… Estia might have become nothing more than a doll…”
The driving force that kept Estia alive was Holy Water. Without it, she would have been no different from a corpse. She had lived through those terrible times by leaning on Holy Water.
Therefore, I would…
“I will redirect Estia’s dependence on Holy Water somewhere else. That is the method of treatment… right, Minerva?”
“I cannot answer questions on such a major issue. So…”
Please take good care of that child, Junwoo.
Minerva, who was closest to the Saintess, spoke with a sad expression.
I nodded. Suppressing my emotions as much as possible, I left the library.
And then…
“Hare, did you think I wouldn’t know how you feel?”
“Hic, Uncle… I’m sorry… Hic, I was wrong… Hic, I did wrong…”
Because my emotions had grown painfully sensitive after experiencing Estia’s past, I ended up hurting Hare.