Taming the Bandits: The Seven Martial Mountains
“Ugh. This is uncomfortable.”
A man in a red shirt topped with a blue jacket spoke while eyeing me warily. His impressive mustache made him look like quite the bold figure, and in truth, he was so brazen he was one of the bastard bandits plaguing the outskirts of the big city of Coolong. His name was Mario Bampa, the retarded fuck leading one of the seven infamous bandit groups in Coolong Territory: the Super Bandits. How the hell does a bandit group get a name like Super Bandits? No shame at all?
Capturing the bandit group itself hadn't been hard. Thanks to the original game, I knew the approximate locations of bandits—hostile NPCs. Sure, their spawns had some randomness, but narrowing down and searching the areas was a piece of cake for me. The strategy guide even covered all the random bandit group locations. Knowing that guide was the most powerful advantage I had living in the Solary World.
Sometimes it was more useful than skills or items.
Novels feel like I'm creating the strategy guide from the original story, but in the game-original Solary World, I actually have the real thing.
Mario Bampa was the first bandit I'd captured. The reason? He was the biggest info broker among them. Even with the strategy guide mapping all bandit locations, combing every random spawn point was inefficient. Grabbing Bampa first and using his intel to snag the others was the smartest play.
“You really mean you'll... honor the promise?” Mario Bampa asked, still glancing at me nervously.
“Yeah. As long as you behave yourself.”
Through Bampa, I'd gotten the dirt on the other six big-shot bandit leaders. Of course, even he didn't know every hideout, but he'd spilled plenty of high-value info that was a huge help to us. Thanks to that, I'd nabbed six of the seven groups in under a month.
The reasons for capturing the bandits? First, to clear the quest. Second, to justify the tax hikes. And third, to smooth out trade for the Walker Merchant Guild. Nothing screws up land trade like bandits and monsters. In the game, wiping them out boosted commerce big time.
But simply grabbing these bandits didn't solve everything. If it did, bastards like them wouldn't still be around. Even after all this hassle, new ones would just pop up in the vacancies. That vicious cycle was what worried Lienna most. Same in the game—sweat your ass off clearing them, and they'd respawn like monsters after a bit. From a territory lord's perspective, they were a nasty cancer.
So I planned to handle this differently.
[Quest cleared. Reward: 10 Random Item Coupons (D-rank).]
←Quest→
•Bandit Extermination
⇣Eliminate all 7 bandit groups operating near Coolong.
←Quest→
Looks like Luna had captured the last holdout. The quest clear popped up in front of me. The reward was more lackluster than I'd hoped. I cashed it in right away.
←Item→
•Granite Shard (F-rank)
⇣An igneous rock formed from cooled magmatic rock. Useful for anything?
*Dud!
•Hardtack Biscuit (D-rank)
⇣A biscuit you can eat anytime, anywhere. Unless you soak it in water first—otherwise it's inedible. But it packs insane calories; one'll get you through the day.
*A tragic product that sacrifices all flexibility for survival. My condolences if you're stuck eating this.
←Item→
Five granite shards and five hardtack biscuits. I hadn't expected much from D-rank coupons, but a string of total garbage still pissed me off. At least the F-rank stuff could be fodder for ability coupons later. I'd never touched the biscuits—they were trash I'd never needed. With inventory, I always had fresh food. Even in dungeons where meals were a hassle, I had tasty dungeon grub.
Fuming, I chucked a granite pebble at Mario Bampa's head.
Thwack!
“Gah!”
Blood trickled from a gash on his forehead. No pity stirred in me for a piece-of-shit criminal's pain. I spoke up.
“Looks like all your buddies are caught.”
“Urk...! We're not buddies. Just business partners... or whatever.”
“Same difference. Get up.”
I stood. Mario Bampa rose awkwardly, eyeing me, his face like he was sitting on thorns. He didn't even touch his bleeding forehead, just wiped away a pathetic tear and followed.
I led him to the castle's underground prison, recently renovated for decent hygiene. In the deepest level were the bandit bosses I'd captured.
“Mario Bampa! You cowardly traitor! And you call yourself an honorable bandit!?”
“Kkh! You flea-bitten rat! Betraying us like this!? Your soul'll burn in hell forever!”
The other bosses, snagged on Bampa's tip-off, cursed him the moment we entered. What the fuck? These idiots acted like Jesus betrayed by Judas. Since when did bandits have any honor?
I barely suppressed the urge to slaughter them. Mario sneered at his captured partners.
“Ease up on the hate. I'm in the same boat as you. Anyway, I've got a sweet deal, so cool your jets.”
“Sweet deal?”
Thunderhawk, the bandit boss with the thunderbolt nickname, tilted his head at Bampa's words.
“Yeah. A good one. Listen up, you mountain trash. Open those ears wide.”
I spoke arrogantly, pulling a chair from inventory and sitting. The bandit bosses, gripping thick iron bars on either side, glared at Bampa before turning to me. I scanned their faces slowly. A mix of emotions, but the common thread was fear. I could decide their fates right here. Hell, I was the lord of Coolong Territory now.
“I'd love to grind you all to dust, but that'd just let new bandits fill the gaps. Hate that shit. Cut out rotten flesh, and fresh should grow back—but this fucked world doesn't work that way. What a ridiculous place!”
I stomped, and Mario Bampa flinched hard beside me. Still pissed no matter how I sliced it, I growled on.
“So here's my offer: Become my subordinates.”
They shut up, faces blank, not even grasping what I'd said. No surprise—it was a wildly generous proposal, even to me. Without Lienna's idea, I'd have shown these fucks no mercy.
“Wh-what do you mean?”
The sole woman among them, Sneisy, asked. Her voluptuous figure didn't fit a rugged mountain bandit, which was why she was the only one I'd wanted to spare. The rest I could've crushed.
“Exactly what I said. Pledge loyalty to me. Serve well, and I'll not only spare your lives but tolerate your bandit ops to a degree. No straight-up plundering, though. Your job: keep the mountains secure, crush other bandit groups so they don't run wild.”
Fight poison with poison. Lienna's scheme. Fair point—no one knew the mountains like these bastards. They survived in monster-infested ranges by scamming travelers. If rotten flesh kept regrowing no matter how much you cut, might as well use it.
“That's bold, Derek Walker. Heard you're a merchant. Figures—a criminal's mindset is beyond us.”
Thunderhawk clucked his tongue. My rep had spread even among bandits.
“We got no choice anyway. Not since we got nabbed.”
Bampa voiced what they all thought. He still seemed stunned by the offer.
“But... you sure about this? Sounds weird coming from me, but... how do you trust a bunch of scam-artist bandits like us?”
Fair question. I wasn't the type to trust thieving scum. But I had three ways to bind them.
First: Brainwash 'em with Common Sense Alteration Stickers. Problem? They don't work well on strong-willed targets. These local bosses wouldn't have weak minds. Half-kill 'em first might work, but it'd mess up using them.
Second: Use the item I'd gotten recently, Bulke's Edict.
←Item→
•Bulke's Edict (A-rank)
⇣A special scroll enchanted by the Bulke Merchant Guild. Write a contract on it, and it's unbreakable. Can't make unfair deals—both parties must understand and consent fully. Successful contract costs 10,000 credits in fees.
*An item that manifests trust itself.
←Item→
Serve me in exchange for your lives? Doesn't seem unfair. More like a plea bargain. Could dominate them easily, but 10k credits? With territory trade already straining my funds, no way.
That left option three. Right on cue, footsteps approached—two sets.
I didn't turn. “Back already?”
“Yes, Master. We've got him.”
It was Luna and Jack Crow. Luna dragged him forward, his arms bound with rope. Crow's stiff expression looked awkward, like ill-fitting clothes.
“Yo-ho. You the famous Derek Walker? Wait, these guys here...”
“You're the last one.”
“Mario Bampa! What the hell? Was today our meetup?”
“Things just... ended up this way.”
I ignored their banter and beckoned Luna. She bowed, climbed atop the cells, and fetched something: a small basin of clean water.
As a Night clan member, Luna could perform a Soul Oath—a contract binding souls, unbreakable by either party. Night folk used it to enslave or toy with continentals.
“Start with Mario Bampa and work through 'em all.”
“Understood.”
Luna bowed and got to it. Just like that, I had all seven bandit bosses under me. They'd signed massively unfair deals with her, making them her slaves in effect. Luna was mine, so by transitive property, they were too.
“From now on, you're the seven bandit lords guarding the Hermes Mountains: the Seven Martial Mountains! Your mission: exterminate monster hordes and smash rival bandit groups. No preying on mountain travelers, but loot other bandits all you want. You'll get regular stipends too. Any funny business, and I'll hack off your limbs and gibbet you in downtown Coolong! Complaints?”
“““None!”””
For them, surviving was luck enough—now they had government jobs. No more free-for-all looting, but still a sweet deal.
I released them. Sneisy's pussy turned out better than expected. I'd have to sample it often.