Derek Walker: Dwarves and Free Beer
I’m the kind of guy who pays a fair price for quality goods. If these dwarf bastards had settled for something reasonable around 2 silver, I wouldn’t have any reason to think nasty thoughts. Sure, Lienna and I prioritize efficiency, but the efficiency we chase isn’t about haggling prices down to nothing. A 1-silver item gets bought for 1 silver, and a 100-gold item for 100 gold—that’s efficiency. But these crazy short-ass fuckers are using their monopoly to rip me off like I’m just some lord. In this territory, the only one allowed a monopoly is me. No matter how hard I try to think positively, it feels like a volcano’s erupting right on top of my head.
“How the hell do you justify raising wages four times over to 1 silver? Make it 1.5 silver.”
Mogullo snorted at my words. Gotta admire the balls on this guy, sneering at the real lord of the territory—but he’s crossed the line. No matter how this negotiation ends, that blue-bearded fucker’s dead. No, I’ll make him taste something worse than death.
“4 silver.”
“2 silver. Double. Double!”
“4 silver.”
“This is ridiculous… 3 silver!”
“Listen, Mogullo. That’s three times now. Three times the raise. This is utterly absurd.”
Lienna, who’d been calmly watching our back-and-forth from the side, finally spoke up. She’s right—it’s completely outrageous. If the bastard backs down here, I might let it slide this far. Of course, he’ll still die for mouthing off to me. I’d show mercy to a pretty girl, but wasting it on a bearded fuck like that? Luxury I can’t afford.
“4 silver.”
In the end, the blue-furred shorty crossed the line one last time. I bit my lip and replied.
“Fuck it. Fine, 4 silver!”
“Haha! As expected, you live up to your reputation for generosity! Excellent. Then the Blue Flame Guild will prepare for work. Once the contract’s drawn up, we’ll start immediately!”
Mogullo groveled with his belated ass-kissing before backing off. I didn’t hide my shit-eating expression, biting my lip hard. Lienna’s warm hand overlapped mine, tense with strain. She looked at me with worry.
“Even at 4 silver a day for the dwarves, once the mine’s fully developed, the profits will be massive. They knew that, which is why they pushed so hard.”
“I know. But their attitude pisses me off to no end. Lienna, remember what I said about reforming this territory?”
“Yes, Master. You said you could be an angel or a demon depending on how the people act.”
That’s right. I have zero intention of playing benevolent ruler to make everyone in Coolong Territory happy. But I’m not about to make unnecessary enemies either. Smart subjects who follow my rule will get sweet crumbs from the table. Weeds that raise flags like that blue shorty? I’ll yank ’em out without hesitation.
“We’re going with the G Plan. Request funds from Greia and get it rolling ASAP. Time it to start alongside the dwarves’ mine work. Time to show that bastard there’s something worse than death. When do the items I ordered from the Magic Tower arrive?”
“In a week. I’ll see to it as you command.”
Lienna bowed her head in reply.
*-*-*
Coolong Territory has dwarf residential areas scattered here and there. It’s not some legal designation—just natural settlements that formed on their own. Like foreigner enclaves in the real world, humans rarely set foot in them. Most dwarf forges are in human areas anyway, so they only pop in for personal commissions now and then. Immigrants sticking together is just human nature. Same goes for beastkin districts or hobbit zones. Of course, not all non-humans live in these spots—a tiny few who blend well with humans mix right in.
Hegrig, a skilled dwarf craftsman and member of the Blue Flame Guild, tilted his head at the newly opened bar near his home. The sign read Jae Bar. Next to it, a banner fluttered announcing its grand opening today.
“Hm. Who was it that opened a bar?”
Rumors spread like wildfire in dwarf society. Open a forge, and word’s out instantly. No way a big place like this flies under the radar. But Hegrig hadn’t heard a peep. Curiosity piqued, he headed over.
Jae Bar was the classiest joint he’d ever seen. Spacious interior, even a few terrace seats. They’d clearly invested in the decor—freewheeling vibe without the mess. Perfect for casual beers. And on grand opening day? Packed to the gills.
Dwarves are born drunks. One who hates booze? Total freak. With their heavy manual labor, beer’s basically bread.
“Hey! Hegrig! Get over here! Check out this awesome dive! Hasn’t even properly opened, and they say bring your wife for all-day free beer!”
A familiar voice called out. His buddy Dunbero, waving from the outdoor terrace with his wife, beer in hand. He was munching mouthwatering sausages—imported from some sausage-famous territory, bigger and better than anything in Coolong’s other bars. The aroma was killer; Hegrig’s feet moved on their own. Beer demands potatoes and sausage.
“Bring your wife for free beer? What kinda insane promo is that?”
“Look at this! Free beer till it runs dry today! Plus these killer snacks. Feels like a human-run joint—y’know how some humans are nuts? Owner must wanna go bust opening here! Haha!”
Dunbero raised his mug. Beside him, his rough-looking wife chomped sausages. Dwarf women? Petite, cute stunners—unlike hairy, stocky warrior males. Practical reason: sells character cards in the male-geared Solary World. Average height under 150cm, the “protect me” type, but tough as nails, stronger than human men. Telltale feature: cute little horns on their foreheads, easy way to spot from short human girls.
“Holy shit, for real? Gotta grab my wife quick.”
Human-run, so rumors didn’t spread fast in dwarf parts. Free beer promo in a dwarf zone? Like handing a robber the safe keys. Hegrig sent silent condolences to the faceless owner.
“Hurry! Or it’ll all be gone! Haha!”
“Kyahaha! You, don’t just drink—eat some sausage too. Heading to the mithril mine tomorrow; gotta fuel up. Die pretty if you drop dead there, right?”
Dunbero’s wife shoved a greasy sausage into his mouth.
“Munch munch! Yeah, only my Pokuri looks out for me.”
Skin-crawling couple goals. Dunbero and Pokuri seemed mismatched but had solid alchemy skills. Jealous, Hegrig fetched his wife. She half-doubted the “free beer” talk at first but gawked when she saw it was legit.
“Oh my god! This is top-shelf dark beer! Not that watery piss you brew.”
“Ahem! Not here…”
Hegrig grumbled, eyeing Dunbero’s ego-boosting wife. But dwarf that he was, beer and greasy snacks hit the spot. Perfect timing before mithril mine work. Felt like the god of forge and bellows was watching over him.
The place was crawling with his kind—mostly dwarves off to the mine tomorrow. Mithril jobs are complex, long hauls; once in, 1-2 years no family visits. Chugging till blackout? Their farewell ritual.
“Gulp~! Damn good. Free top-quality brew like this? Wanna thank the owner—fix his house or send a gift later.”
“Yeah, we ain’t ungrateful scum. Heh! Hey, what’s that weird machine inside?”
Hegrig and Dunbero eyed the row of odd wooden contraptions. Desk-like? Display case? Similar shape, but details all wrong. Hegrig recalled seeing something like it in a Miles Kingdom capital magic tower.
“Ah! Like those arcade game machines at the capital tower. See? Thin crystal screen up front for video playback. Pricey stuff. Hey, miss! What’s that weird machine?”
“Oh, that? Pachinko, I think? Manager didn’t explain much, but it’s custom-ordered from the Magic Tower—expensive toy. Like an amusement ride; free service once we fully open~!”
“Pachinko? What’s that mean? Dunbero, any idea?”
“Dunno. But looks fun. Play when we’re back?”
Oblivious to their dark future, the pair chuckled over it.