A Magical Girl Must Kiss
A magical girl must hide her identity. That is an utterly natural rule — as obvious, and as justified, as a superhero concealing who they really are. And that same rule holds true in the work of fiction known as Magical Girl Carol Muse.
In the original series, too, it is established that a magical girl must never let humans discover her identity. That said, it is not a particularly strict rule. Later in the original, a handful of humans do find out — and no real penalty ever follows.
"Somi. What on earth is this…"
"Uwaaah! Teacher! This is…"
The look of shock on Somi's face was a far cry from the girl I was used to seeing. Somi had always been a confident kid. Carol White's symbol was hope, and the character of Han Somi herself stood for hope that refuses to bow to fate. But right now, her eyes were filled with flustered panic rather than that defiant hope.
Somi's eyes rolled around wildly. I could see her throat bob as she swallowed. Her arms trembled, and her pupils darted unsteadily. She twisted her legs together, looking at me as if scrambling for an excuse.
"T-Tambourine. Can't you do something with magic? Like last time — just wipe his memory clean…"
In the end, the one she turned to was Tambourine. But Tambourine was my cock-sleeve. She moved faithfully according to my orders. Spreading her golden wings, Tambourine answered Somi.
"Using magic in a situation like this is against the rules, taemp…"
"What!? Since when is that a thing? You used it just fine last time!"
"That's just how the rules are, taemp…"
"That's ridiculous!"
Even Tambourine seemed uncomfortable lying to Somi, avoiding her gaze as she spoke. Her acting wasn't particularly good, but unfortunately Somi didn't have the experience to see through it. Somi wasn't a sharp character like Jeongmi.
I took a slow step toward her, careful not to put her too much on guard. The moment I moved in her direction, Somi instinctively took a step back.
"Somi. What in the world just happened? You were surrounded by this strange light… it looked like you were transforming."
"T-Teacher, why are you even here?"
Somi came at me with the audacity of the accused turning on the accuser. Well, it was a suspicion she had every right to hold.
"I happened to see you sneaking out of school. I followed you so I could give you a talking-to."
It was a simple lie, but she had no way of seeing through it. My Deception skill was level 3.
"This is… I mean…"
"Somi! There's something I never told you, taemp!"
Tambourine suddenly cut Somi off. I'd ordered her to do that in advance. She leaned in and whispered something into Somi's ear. The moment Somi heard it, she shook her head violently, shouting as if she'd just been told an absurd joke.
"What!? Why would I have to do something like that…?"
That was what Tambourine had told her. Naturally, no such setting existed in the original. It wasn't the kind of rule that belonged in a kids' anime.
"There's no helping it, taemp! That's the rule, taemp!"
"Why does the Magic Realm even have a ridiculous rule like that!?"
"Th-that's the same in the human world, isn't it, taemp!? The human world is full of weird rules too, taemp!? Don't take it out on me, taemp!"
People who are bad at lying tend to get angry when they think they're about to be found out. That's usually an easy tell — but Somi didn't pick up on it at all. Maybe she simply couldn't imagine that Tambourine, her soul mate, would ever lie to her.
"W-what happens if I don't kiss him?"
"You'll probably lose your magical girl powers completely in about a week, taemp."
Somi's face went dark at Tambourine's words. To Somi, her magical girl powers were incredibly important. She'd become a magical girl almost by accident at first, but fighting the monsters of the Shadow World had planted a righteous desire in her to protect the human world. A girl like that would never give up her powers so easily.
I waited, giving Somi and Tambourine enough time to talk it through. Somi's deliberation lasted a long while. But in the end, she made her choice.
With a tense expression, she lifted her chin and walked toward me. She looked exactly like a soldier heading off to war. Right now, her feelings probably weren't all that different. I didn't drop the bewildered look I'd been wearing since I first saw her. Right now, I was a human who'd just witnessed something as far outside common sense as a magical girl. Being too calm would only make it weirder.
Somi came close enough that I could have reached out and touched her. I could hear her ragged breathing clearly. I was so much taller than her that she had to look up at me.
"Somi?"
"T-Teacher! I… we should kiss!"
Somi went for the straight pitch. No preamble, no explanation — she just asked me to kiss her. For her, this was probably the best she could do. Somi wasn't the type to pour out her whole story to someone else. She was the kind of single-minded kid who'd wear the Red Ranger suit if she were in a sentai show.
If I just took her kiss here, I could clear the quest easily. But that was too easy. With Tambourine in my pocket, I could get a kiss from Somi whenever I wanted. I wanted to play with her a little more. So instead of kissing her, I gave her a light rap on the head.
"Ow!"
"Hey now! Don't you go teasing grown-ups."
Somi clutched the spot I'd hit and looked up at me. She had a look of genuine grievance on her face. Whether she was upset about the knuckle-rap or about having her kiss rejected, I couldn't tell. Either way, I'd turned her down.
"I'll explain everything about Somi, taemp!"
Tambourine, who'd been watching the situation, flew over to me. I squeezed her soft, squishy body as I spoke.
"This is that doll Somi always carries around, isn't it? So it was alive this whole time."
"This body is Tambourine, mascot of the Magic Realm, taemp! Anyway, I'll explain everything, taemp!"
Tambourine and I stepped a few paces away from Somi. In a voice too small for Somi to hear, Tambourine whispered in my ear.
"This isn't what we scripted, taemp!? Weren't you supposed to kiss Somi right now, taemp?"
"I thought of something a little more fun. Tambourine, do as I say. So…"
I laid out the improvised scenario I'd just cooked up. Tambourine nodded with a sour look on her face. At this point, defying me wasn't even a scenario that existed for her.
After about five minutes of talking, Tambourine and I split apart. I planted my hands on my hips and walked over to Somi.
"Somi. So… you're a magical girl chosen by the Magic Realm, is that right?"
Somi looked up at me, the tension still written across her face, and answered.
"Yes…"
"And that strange monster you just fought came from a place called the Shadow World?"
"Yes. That's right."
I told Somi I more or less understood her situation. She clasped her hands together, looking relieved. If anything, laying out a secret she'd been keeping so tightly locked away seemed to have lifted a weight off her. Carrying a huge secret all by yourself is no small burden. Freed from that pressure, a fresh, bright smile spread across Somi's face.
"All the times I was late to school or skipped class… it was because of this. If I don't purify the Shadow World's monsters, something terrible happens."
"I see. And I went and punished you without knowing any of that. I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay. I did skip class, after all."
Somi waved off my apology.
"Honestly, I'm glad I got to tell you the secret now. I feel so much better. Oh, and there's one more thing I should mention — a magical girl whose identity is discovered has to kiss…"
"Ah! Somi, you can't say that, taemp!"
The moment Somi tried to bring up the kiss, Tambourine startled and cut her off. If Somi logically talked me into a kiss right here, the whole situation would be far too boring. That wasn't the picture I wanted.
"Why, Tambourine? What's the problem now?"
"That secret is for you and you alone, taemp! You can't tell Master… I mean, you can't tell that man, taemp!"
"You know about it too, Tambourine."
"Somi and I are of one heart and one mind, taemp! Anyway, the fact that a human found out you're a magical girl, and that you have to kiss that human — only you can know that, taemp! You can't even tell the other magical girls, taemp!"
"Why are the rules so complicated? This feels weird."
"I-I don't know either, taemp! Anyway, if you don't follow the rules you could lose your magical girl powers, taemp!"
When Tambourine threatened her with the loss of her powers, Somi finally accepted it, looking thoroughly dissatisfied.
"What are you two talking about?"
"Ah, it's nothing, taemp! Anyway, shouldn't we be heading back to school now, taemp!?"
I let Tambourine's blatant subject-change slide. I checked the time and spoke.
"Right. Somi, don't worry. I'll keep this a secret. If word got out to other people, I imagine the fallout would be enormous."
"Ah… thank you, Teacher!"
And with that, we headed back to school.
Han Somi had a new problem.
According to Tambourine, if a magical girl's identity was discovered, she had to kiss the person who found out. Somi had no idea why such a bizarre rule existed, but apparently that was how it was. Which meant Somi had to kiss the PE teacher. The problem was that the PE teacher wouldn't accept the kiss.
"Somi. You're a student, and I'm a teacher."
"But the class presidents get kiss practice from you, don't they?"
"Then you should become a class president."
If she could just come clean about the situation and kiss him, that would be so much easier — but Tambourine had forbidden it. Physically overpowering him and forcing a kiss wasn't an option either. Without transforming into a magical girl, she was just a middle-school kid, and the PE teacher was a grown, well-built man.
"Besides, I can't even use my magical girl powers for something like this. Hahh… if I actually lose my powers over this…"
If it came to that, she'd have to transform and take the PE teacher's lips by force. The image of that made Somi's cheeks flush red.
"Somi, don't worry so much, taemp! This Tambourine has already thought of a way, taemp!"
"What? Really?"
"It's simple, really, taemp! Just give yourself a makeover until the teacher wants to accept your kiss, taemp!"
"A makeover? Me?"
Tambourine was about to say more, but another student approached, so she shut her mouth and pretended to be a doll. The student coming toward Somi was a boy.
"Somi. Talking to your doll again?"
"Oh? Wooju! Hey. What are you doing in the girls' class?"
"Just for a second — I had something to turn in to the Guidance Director. Figured I'd stop by while I was at it."
Somi's childhood friend Wooju looked like he'd lost weight over the past few days. Rumor had it the boys' classes were insanely academic. Ever since the school had been split by gender, Somi had barely seen Wooju at all.
Seeing him for the first time in a while, Somi started chatting about school life. But almost none of what Wooju said actually registered in her head.
"…so that's how it went. That's why I'm going to try even harder on this pop quiz. How's your class doing, Somi?"
"Huh!? Ah, sorry Wooju. I zoned out for a second and missed that."
"Oh, really? I was talking about the pop quiz our class just took…"
"No, Wooju. More importantly — what kind of style do guys like?"
At Somi's words, Wooju's heart lurched. He was so flustered he bit his own tongue. As far as Wooju was concerned, what Somi had just said was as good as an indirect confession.
"W-w-what style guys like!? I-I dunno!? Haha! What would that even be!?"
"Shin Wooju! What are you doing in the girls' class!? Get out of here, now!"
A class president in a bondage costume cracked a training whip and barked at Wooju. He hurriedly bowed his head and answered. For the record, boys were forbidden from looking at the bondage outfits worn by female teachers and female students.
"S-sorry! I'm leaving right now!"
He rushed out of the classroom. Somi, for her part, was already lost in thought about what kind of style a guy might like.