PE Teacher: Geum Taeyang—4

"That's a stretch!"

Jeongmi shouted loud enough to startle even herself. The instant the words left her mouth, she clapped both hands over it, eyes wide.

"I-I'm sorry. I got carried away…"

"No, it's fine. I'm actually proud of you for speaking up to me like that on a friend's behalf. But why are you defending Somi so hard? Are you two close?"

"No. I first met Somi at the entrance ceremony."

Jeongmi fidgeted, but the explanation she offered for defending Somi was strikingly logical for a girl her age.

"I was moved when I saw Somi help a lost old woman even though it meant she'd be late herself. And even after she showed up late, she never told you why. When I asked her about it later, she said, 'No matter how good a deed it was, being late is still being late.'"

"Hmm. So Somi's a good kid, just like you say."

"Yes. Hearing her say that made me think. What they teach us at school is that if you do good, you'll be rewarded. But that's not how it actually works. Do the right thing, and you take the loss. And that… that isn't how it should be."

What Jeongmi felt toward Somi was admiration. Somi wasn't merely a good person — she was a magical girl. As someone to look up to, she left nothing to be desired.

"I see. I understand. But I'm the Guidance Director. I have no choice but to punish Somi according to the school rules."

"If it's according to the rules… one tardy is a warning, isn't it?"

Is it? I don't memorize school rules, so I wouldn't know.

Jeongmi, being class president, apparently had them memorized cold. Well, from now on, whatever I said was the school rules.

"No. We had a faculty meeting not long ago, and a few of the rules were revised. Too many people felt the disciplinary measures were too light. One tardy now means cleaning the bathrooms, plus staying after to write a reflection essay."

"What!? Is that true?"

Jeongmi's face fell as if she were the one being punished. This was the moment to press in.

"That said, there is a way to reduce the penalty. This also came up at the faculty meeting — our school might be piloting a penalty-split system."

"A penalty-split system? What's that?"

What else? Something I just made up on the spot.

I was planting a suggestion in her right now. Suggestion didn't take hold on someone with a strong will. So what if, instead of something completely outlandish, I wove a suggestion out of something that could plausibly exist in the real world? I was running an experiment on Jeongmi.

"It's a system British middle schools have started adopting recently. Simply put, a problem student's punishment gets divided up and served together with another student."

"Isn't that… collective punishment?"

Jeongmi shot back with a rather educated term. She wasn't wrong.

"It isn't collective punishment. Because under this system, a student voluntarily shares the penalty with the problem student. If it were compulsory, then yes, it'd be collective punishment."

"Why would anyone do that?"

"So the student who actually did wrong will see an innocent friend taking punishment because of them — and reflect on it."

"It sounds like a pre-modern system."

"And yet they say it's surprisingly effective. In British schools, this cut problem students' misconduct rates by over thirty percent."

I cited a specific number. All of it was a lie. No education authority with half a brain would ever greenlight a system like this.

But I had the powerful authority of a teacher — and not just any teacher, the Guidance Director. A teacher's authority was enormously effective on kids whose heads hadn't finished growing. Especially back when I was in middle school, when the paddle was still a living thing.

You never saw a teacher at Jinglebell Middle School hitting a student in the anime, of course, but either way, I was not about to get steamrolled by some little kid.

I need to push her so she can't think logically.

I lowered my voice.

"If there's a student willing to take the punishment together with Somi, I could reduce it to just writing a reflection essay."

I said it, then glanced at Jeongmi. She was wrestling with herself. But the struggle didn't last long.

Anyone who'd watched even a single episode of Magical Girl Carol Muse could predict Jeongmi's reaction easier than boiling water. The sense of responsibility she felt toward the protagonist's group — Han Somi included — was extraordinary. She reacted exactly as I'd expected.

"I'll do it! I'll… I'll take the punishment with Somi."

"Oh. That's the class president in you. Good. Then come find me again after school."

She bowed her head and left the Guidance Office. Almost immediately, Somi came in.

"I-I'm sorry! I'm a little late again."

"You're always late. I can practically see Teacher Yang suffering over you."

Looks like she'd had more magical girl business. Not my problem.

"As punishment, stay after today and write a reflection essay. Come to the Guidance Office once homeroom is over."

"Huh…? Today?"

Somi's face said this was a problem. Had a monster shown up in the Shadow World or something?

I ran through the early plot of the original. There hadn't been any particular incidents at school. If there were, they'd come after the class president election.

"Yes. Today. Make sure you stay and write that essay."

Compromise was not on the table. Starting today, I would take my time training Somi and Jeongmi.

"Ugh! A reflection essay?!"

Han Somi came out of the Guidance Office clutching her face.

Writing was an intensely boring activity. Han Somi had terrible handwriting, and she hated anything that involved parking her butt at a desk.

But she couldn't just refuse. The PE teacher had threatened to call her mom if she didn't write it.

"This is all your fault, Tambourine."

Han Somi blamed Tambourine. But Tambourine, playing doll in the pocket of Somi's skirt, didn't so much as twitch.

Finding that strange, Han Somi reached into her pocket and pulled Tambourine out. The mascot was curled into a tight ball, trembling all over.

"Tambourine!? What's wrong? Don't tell me it's because I got mad? I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!"

"That's not it, taemp! That's not it at all! That man… something's wrong with him, taemp!"

"That man?"

"The PE teacher, taemp! Earlier, during gym class, I wasn't sure, but in ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that Guidance Office I definitely felt a weird energy, taemp! The monster we've been looking for might be that PE teacher, taemp!"

"What!? Really?"

Han Somi swallowed hard. The PE teacher, a monster?

It was true he didn't look like someone who'd be teaching middle school. Quite a few of her classmates were afraid of him.

But the things he said were surprisingly gentlemanly. He'd scolded her, sure, but unlike her homeroom teacher, his voice had been quiet and even. He looked nothing like ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠any monster she'd encountered so far.

"I can't be sure, taemp. I'm a mascot from the Magic Realm, so I can instinctively tell who's a monster and who isn't, taemp. But that man… how do I put it. He was gray, taemp."

"Gray?"

"If black is a monster and white is an ordinary human, he was the gray in between, taemp. I've never seen this before, taemp. I think… I need to go back to the Magic Realm, taemp."

"The Magic Realm?"

"I have to see the Queen and ask for advice, taemp! It might take a while, taemp!"

"What am I supposed to do without you? What if a monster shows up all of a sudden?"

"Even without me, you've got the Muse Watch, so you can still transform, taemp. You won't be able to find monsters on your own, of course… but be as careful as you can, taemp! First I need to find out what that man really is, taemp!"

With that, Tambourine spread both wings wide and took off. Fortunately, there were no other students around.

"I'll be back as fast as I can, taemp! You stay as far from that man as possible, taemp!"

"Ugh… okay. But come back quick!"

Somi opened a hallway window. Tambourine fluttered out into the open air. Han Somi watched her go with a complicated look on her face.

"There goes Tambourine."

Han Somi's mascot, Tambourine — her partner and advisor. In the early original story she existed to support the still-inexperienced magical girl Han Somi, so I kept a close eye on her movements. The odds were slim, but she might be able to see through my items.

Tambourine left Han Somi's side and flew through the air. I'd been tailing Han Somi, and I eavesdropped on their conversation. Tambourine had clearly sensed the Common Sense Alteration Talisman.

In that case, I can't just leave her be.

I went after Tambourine. I had no classes left. My two ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠slave teachers would handle the rest of the faculty work.

Tambourine wasn't flying high — low enough that I could keep up at a run. Once we'd put a decent stretch of distance between us and the school, I reached a hand toward her.

I accelerated time.

I loosed an arrow of wind. The wind arrow I'd created punched clean through Tambourine's right wing.

"Kyaaaaah! That hurts, taemp!"

A golden slime plummeted toward the ground, a little smaller than a human fist. I caught the falling Tambourine the way you'd snag a baseball.

"Nice catch."

"Urgh! You're… taemp…!"

"Whoa. This is softer and nicer than I expected. Are all Magic Realm mascots like this?"

"How do you know I'm a mascot… You really are a monster from the Shadow World, aren't you, taemp?"

"The way you tack taemp-taemp onto everything is actually pretty cute. Whatever. You've gotta have at least one charming quality."

Playing with the squishy Tambourine, I headed for a nearby deserted commercial building. Fortunately, the men's restroom was empty.

"Hey. Tambourine. Transform into a human."

"Nngh!? How do you even know about that…? I never even told Somi, taemp…"

"Do it now or I stuff you in the toilet. Somi too."

The moment I threatened her with Somi's name, Tambourine shuddered and spoke.

"Fine, taemp! I'll do what you say, so don't you touch Somi, taemp!"

The golden slime transformed into a human.

A girl blinked up at me with enormous eyes, her golden hair — just long enough to reach halfway down her neck — braided into twin-tails. She stood maybe five feet tall, wearing a fluttery sky-blue dress and sandals.

In any number of ways, her appearance was extremely criminal. In the real world, a man like me so much as speaking to a kid like this would get arrested.

But her actual age was over fifty. Spirits of the Magic Realm lived extremely long lives, so in human terms she was about elementary-to-middle-school age — not that it mattered. Her absolute age far exceeded that of a minor. The quest would probably acknowledge as much.

Honestly, I don't even fully understand my own fetishes. Human kids don't do anything for me, but other races are somehow different.

The mysterious atmosphere unique to other races offered me a completely different kind of appeal. It was clearly distinct from the vibe of underdeveloped children. Maybe I was a xenophile.

"And she's even got handlebars."

I grabbed her twin-tails. Tambourine shook her head as if it hurt, trying to resist, but my grip was stronger.

"Hold still. First, let me treat that shoulder."

I poured an orange potion onto the shoulder that Wind Arrow had punched a hole through. True to a B-Rank item, Tambourine's wound healed at a visible speed.

"W-why are you healing me, taemp!?"

"Don't worry about it. Just open your mouth."

I dropped my pants. My elephant cock sprang out with a pop and slapped her across the cheek. Tambourine, who'd just been smacked in the face by my dick out ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of nowhere, seemed to short-circuit for a moment.

"You… you! I can see your dick, taemp!"