Rats in the Granary

House Coulomb was crawling with thieves. A granary stuffed with grain will always draw rats, and House Coulomb was a textbook case of the principle.

I had seized real power over the household, but I left the internal reforms entirely in Rienna's hands. Not that I sat around doing nothing — I worked right beside her. She drew up the plans; I played the public face. Our partnership was seamless.

"Four painters on payroll just to do portraits? What do these people even do the rest of the year?"

"He was always a great patron of the arts. Hiring painters and bards was part of that. Right now the estate has ten painters, including the portrait specialists, and fifteen bards."

"Money pits, the lot of them."

"Yes. Parasites who do nothing but eat their wages. The days they actually work amount to a few weeks a year."

"Count Coulomb's generosity must have been something else. I wouldn't have let payroll parasites like that sit idle."

"Pay... roll?"

"Ah, forget it. Just rambling. Fire every last one of them."

"I intend to. They weren't completely useless, of course. They painted his achievements and sang his praises, and public sentiment in the territory improved a great deal because of it. They were the ones who sang the requiem at the funeral, too. But they've served their purpose. Pouring more money into them now would be foolish. I've wanted to dismiss them for a long time."

When the purse strings tighten, people in the arts are always the first to go. This world was no exception.

I dismissed every painter and musician. Then I cut the useless servants. A lord's castle, as you'd expect, had more than a hundred of them — and from what I could see, two or three people were splitting work that one person could have handled alone. So I slashed their numbers in half without a second thought. The maids, naturally, I kept. The castle had no shortage of beautiful ones.

"The most urgent thing right now is refilling the knight order. I'd meant to replace them eventually, but I never expected it to happen this suddenly."

The Reiss Knights were a hollow shell. Every knight who had been serving in the field was dead, and I had dismissed every squire training under them.

It had been an abrupt purge, but I didn't regret it for a second. Men who had spent years under a sage-king like Count Coulomb were never going to be loyal to me. Leave unreliable elements like that alive and all they'd do is scheme to put a knife in my back. Rienna agreed.

"They weren't an especially strong knight order anyway."

They had served her for quite a long time, and she was this cold about it. I found that a little fascinating. Then again, that was exactly why I liked her more. A clear-eyed administrator like her was precisely the person I needed. Sacrificing the few for the sake of the many is an indispensable choice if you intend to grow.

"I'll look into the knight order. Leave that side to me."

"If that is what Master ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠wishes, I won't concern myself with it."

Were there any useful units near Coulon Territory? I rummaged through my memory, pulling up what I knew from the original work. If it came down to it, I could always scrape together some beastkin.

The average ability and efficiency of beastkin had already been proven through Sera. For the military power I needed right now, no other race came close.

"Ah. And I should brief you on the most important matter — our finances."

Rienna spoke as she scanned letters as fine as stitching on a stiff sheet of parchment. The whole reason we were running an austerity budget was to pull money together.

House Coulomb had spent an unimaginable sum prosecuting the territorial war. Maintaining a large army eats gold at a terrifying rate.

Rienna told me the house had burned through a full two hundred platinum in the last war. For reference, the Walker Merchant Guild — which had piled up a fortune through tax-free trade — held a little over a hundred platinum.

By a rough conversion of one copper to a dollar, two hundred platinum came to a staggering two hundred million dollars.

The war hadn't even lasted that long, and there had only been a couple of proper engagements, yet the financial damage ran that deep. It was one of the reasons House Valte had been swaggering so confidently — House Coulomb's grotesque war expenditure.

Even in Solari World, the power of gold is one of the pillars that holds a ruler up. A lord short on money will inevitably be challenged by wealthy subjects. Granted, House Valte was a little too enormous to call a mere subject.

"The family currently holds about eighty platinum in cash. Fixed expenses were running at ten platinum a month, but with the austerity measures, I expect we'll spend about half that starting this month."

"And income?"

"Originally, we were taking in more than fifteen platinum a month. That dropped after we granted Master the tax exemption."

I had seized the market with modern goods and deep pockets. On top of that, I dealt primarily in heavily taxed luxury items. In real-world terms, it was as if a megacorporation had simply stopped paying taxes.

"Of course, several factors contributed to the drop in revenue. The biggest is organized tax evasion by merchants and farmers."

"Organized tax evasion?"

"Yes. During the territorial war, the tax collectors were reassigned as army accountants. Collection fell apart."

"Wouldn't a successor or a deputy normally take over the collection duties? Securing tax revenue is critical."

"They did. But we've found signs that several of the replacement collectors colluded with merchants and farmers and filed false reports."

"Do you have proof?"

"Nothing conclusive. But the figures they reported deviate sharply from the averages — even accounting for the war. That's the case in Asen, Born, and Tellibai."

Asen, Born, and Tellibai were all cities in Coulon County.

To explain Coulon County once more: it sat in the southwest of the Myles Kingdom. The county comprised five cities, including the great city of Coulon itself, plus a scatter of lesser villages.

In other words, "Coulon" could mean the broad county or the great city inside it. It usually meant the latter. When people needed to specify the county, they said Coulon County.

From the west, the cities ran Asen, Born, Tellibai, then Coulon — you could draw a straight line through them on a map. A little to the south lay a city called Daipopus. Those five were the heart of Coulon Territory.

"So three of the five cities are showing signs of tax leakage."

"Yes. I intend to dispatch people officially."

The obvious move. Tax evasion was a crime on par with murder. At least, it was to me.

And stabbing their landlord in the back in the middle of a territorial war — that, I could not forgive. Count Coulomb had spent two hundred platinum defending this land, and the people of the territory had been skimming taxes out the back door. That was not something I would allow.

"I'll go myself. If the evasion is real, I need to make a very clear example."

In my mind, their guilt was already settled. It was Rienna's judgment. She wouldn't be wrong.

The very next day I boarded a carriage and set out from Coulon. I took Luna and Arme ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠along as maids. I had sent word ahead, so an official was already waiting to receive me.

"I received the notice. Thank you for making the journey from Coulon. I am Baron Soton."

Tellibai was where I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠had purchased Luna. The place held a handful of memories for me. Luna, for her part, didn't seem to think anything of it. From her perspective, it was probably just one more city that had flowed past.

"Baron Poton. I am Derick Walker, here as acting lord to inspect Tellibai. I'll keep this brief. I need to see Tellibai's tax collector at once."

"My name is Baron Soton. Ah — and the tax collector is currently away on a business trip, so..."

"A business trip? For what reason, and to where, would Tellibai's tax collector be traveling? The Count's only order to him was to collect Tellibai's taxes."

"Th-that's..."

"I am taking this matter very seriously. I have even been granted the authority of summary execution by the current lord."

I produced the warrant of summary execution Rienna had written out for me. Stamped with the lord's seal, the document carried near-absolute force inside Coulon.

Of course, if I went around taking nobles' heads on the strength of this paper alone, I'd have a revolt on my hands. But with tax evasion as my pretext, there was nothing I couldn't do.

"Nngh! I'll— I'll bring the tax collector!"

"No need. I'll go with you."

I pressed him along. The tax collector's house sat inside Tellibai's walls, and it was extravagantly appointed — twenty gold, easy, if I had to guess. I did not like that one bit.

I'll kill the tax collector and confiscate the house while I'm at it.

I walked in with that thought already settled. The moment the tax collector saw my face, he went rigid, as if the reaper himself had stepped through the door. One look at him and I knew. This bastard was guilty as sin. He had taken money under the table and looked the other way on tax evasion. No question.

"Ah— g-good day to you?"

"Nothing worth looking at. Die."

I put a Darkness Arrow through the tax collector's skull. He died on the greeting.

A salutation for a last will. He wouldn't find peace even in death. Not that I cared whether a villain like him found peace or not.

"W-Walker! What have you done!?"

"I have seen more con men than I can count. This one was the specimen. He took money to look the other way on tax evasion — or perhaps he simply stole the taxes himself. So I killed him."

"B-but the evidence..."

"Evidence? Then we'll find it."

I searched the tax collector's house. Finding the ledger he had so neatly organized was simple enough.

The book laid out, in meticulous detail, the sums that should have been collected and the sums that had been skimmed. Who had evaded, and by how much — all of it recorded without a shred of shame.

Men who do filthy work always keep a record of each other's secrets, so nobody can pull a double-cross. That's why even back in the real world, people sometimes send their bribes by bank transfer.

"And you still want to say that, looking at this?"

I spread the ledger open in front of him. Baron Poton let out a scream. I checked the pages, wondering what had set him off — and there he was, listed among the evaders.

"Oho. So you were in on it too. When the territory was in crisis — when everyone should have been pulling together and it still wouldn't have been enough — you were lining your pockets with this kind of filthy ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠profit."

"W-Walker! I was momentarily blinded by greed! Please — mercy...!"

"Your evasion amount is relatively small, at least. Hmm. But these bastards who skimmed twenty gold — I really cannot let that slide. Baron Poton. Gather the people I name, immediately. If they are not here within two hours, I will make an example of you."

"Nngh! Understood! Leave it to me!"

"Ah. And if you try to run, I will execute your entire household. I truly cannot stand people who don't keep their promises."

"I'll keep that in mind!"

Baron Poton had the ten high-value delinquents assembled within two hours, exactly as ordered. If every one of them had paid their taxes properly, more than two platinum would have come in.

Already guilty, they hung their heads and said nothing.

Count Coulomb's soft rule had earned the people's respect, but it had cost him his authority. They had clearly believed that petty tax evasion would be papered over by the Count's generosity.

Or perhaps they had assumed House Coulomb would lose the war, and that there was no point paying taxes to a dying house. They had almost certainly been squirreling money away so they could kiss Count Ernest's ass once he became the territory's new master.

That future had not come to pass. And I was not a soft man like Count Coulomb.

"Look at this Baron Sochu!"

"I— Lord Walker. My name is Baron Soton."

A wet pshk cut him off. My Darkness Arrow punched through his skull. I opened the ledger I had taken from the tax collector's house and went on.

"This wicked man dared refuse the sacred duty of taxation bestowed by the Count. An unforgivable crime. The Count and I fought on the battlefield for the people of this territory — and you betrayed us like this!"

"Aaagh! Forgive us! We were blinded by a moment's profit... we'll pay every coin of the taxes we withheld!"

"We were wrong! Please, forgive us!"

They bowed their heads as one. I fined them three times the amount they had withheld. I would have liked to kill the lot of them, but they were high-value taxpayers. From the territory's point of view they were an important resource, and I couldn't slaughter them on a whim.

That Baron Sochu bastard, on the other hand, wasn't even a high-value taxpayer — just a cheap little weasel who had skimmed taxes, and that pissed me off enough to put him down. I toured the three cities the same way, putting holes in tax collectors' heads and taking the taxes back. This was only the beginning of the reform.

"Ugh. Stay in a fantasy world long enough and your head starts spinning. Maybe it's time I headed back."