Cruel Succession
Count Coulon's wife, Rienner Coulon, was infertile. That was an enormous piece of intelligence. If the claim was true, Count Coulon would never produce an heir — and even a child could grasp how fatal a political weakness that would become.
If she can't bear a child, he might take in an adopted heir — but that would only throw a match onto an already unstable situation.
What mattered most in a successor was legitimacy. An heir with a shaky claim would be challenged at every turn.
I searched my memory of the original story. Had there even been a setting that Rienner Coulon was barren? Truthfully, she barely appeared at all. In the official canon, House Coulon itself was wiped out entirely after their defeat in the territorial war.
"The Countess is infertile...? Is this information reliable?"
"Of course. I can guarantee its reliability at one hundred percent."
I had my own informant inside House Coulon — Priscilla, a maid of the household. After a taste of my cock, she had become a loyal scout, sending me regular reports on the family's affairs. Even so, among all that intelligence, there had been nothing about Rienner Coulon's infertility.
Which, in hindsight, made sense. A mere maid would hardly be privy to something so sensitive. But then how did Count Valte know? Did he have an independent source? Given his power and his wealth, the existence of such a network was only natural.
"The person who handed me this information was none other than the Countess of Coulon herself."
"What? What do you mean...?"
"She told me that not long after giving birth to her second child, she was nearly poisoned. No doubt a scheme by a faction aiming for Count Coulon's seat. She became infertile after that, she says."
"Why would the Countess tell you something like that herself?"
It was a fair question. Count Valte met my eyes dead-on and answered.
"Because she's clever. She knows the ship she's aboard is going down, and she means to change vessels."
The Countess of Coulon was a shrewd and intelligent woman. At least, that was her reputation. The original story offered precious little about her, which was why I had never quite gotten a handle on who Rienner Coulon really was.
That said, the original did mention often enough that the Countess was a woman of considerable ambition. She had even once tried to talk her son into letting her serve as regent — which made it perfectly clear she was no gentle, virtuous wife out of a fairy tale.
"Do you think a woman who cannot bear an heir still has value? She's a gifted alchemist, but a Countess's worth as lady of a county is only realized when there is a successor. Right now she's no different from an old hen that can no longer lay. Of course, a man of Count Coulon's temperament would never cast her aside. But if he wants an heir, like it or not, he'll have to take a second wife."
"So the Countess's standing would naturally diminish."
"Precisely. Rienner Coulon. Or rather, Rienner Rowin. She's a woman packed tight with ambition. She clawed her way from the second daughter of a wretched baronial house to lady of Coulon County, after all. And so she made the best decision she was capable of."
"The best decision... If I'm following you, that would be..."
Assassination. So the scale of this had climbed all the way here. There was only one reason he was telling me this much: he was presenting me with an ultimatum. Die, or become his ally.
"If Count Coulon is assassinated, the title will pass automatically to his wife. Afterward, she will remarry me. And just like that, Coulon County becomes Valte County."
"Remarriage... She would enter as a second wife?"
"A woman who brings a dowry of that magnitude can hardly be taken as a second wife. I intend to dispose of my present wife in due course."
Count Valte said it without so much as a blink.
Well, I understood. His current wife was as ugly as his daughter — or rather, the daughter took after her mother. He had probably married her for the money, and the fact that Count Valte had even managed to produce a child with a woman that homely was almost admirable. This was a man who would do anything for his ambition.
"So House Coulon loses a husband, and House Valte loses a wife."
"And you will marry my daughter. Since the Countess cannot produce an heir, the next master of the territory will naturally be you, my son-in-law. Well? There is no better offer than this, is there?"
I nodded at his words.
"Of course not."
The moment I said it, a new quest window appeared before my eyes.
Cruel Succession
Assassinate Count Coulon and seize Coulon Territory.
After that, I made a perfunctory appearance at the party and returned home. I couldn't even enjoy myself properly, what with nobles and merchants fawning all over me. Back at the mansion, I summoned my inner circle and told them everything that had happened today.
"Assassination... that's an enormous matter. More than that, I never imagined the Countess of Coulon was that sort of person. I knew she had made a name for herself as a gifted alchemist in her youth, but still."
Even Elper, who was well-versed in noble affairs, was stunned by the Countess's assassination plot. Arme answered with a look of complete indifference.
"Happens all the time. High noble houses are all a mess to begin with. You'd better watch yourself so you don't end up the same way, Master."
"Don't worry. That sort of thing only happens when a husband fails to properly dominate his wife. Seems Count Coulon didn't give her a thorough enough taste of cock. Works out well for me."
I said it with my cock hanging out. For the record, Sera was currently nestled in my arms, rolling her hips. She swayed her tail and let out a moan.
"Kyaaah~♥ That's right. Nothing tames a female like a cock~♥"
"Could any of you even survive without this cock in the first place!?"
At my words, every last one of them shook her head. Them assassinating me? It was something that could never happen, not even if the sky split in two.
"Honestly, the master's cock is just bizarre. And that semen and piss of his, too."
"Quite so. The semen has a rich, deep flavor, like heavy cream, and the urine is as bright and sweet as fruit from the south. Frankly, it feels like sitting down to a banquet."
Grea and Elper were discussing my semen and urine. Hearing them put it that way, I found myself a little curious.
Of course, I'd never actually tasted it — the physiological aversion was still there. And even if it was delicious, feeding it to the women was far more enjoyable than eating it myself.
"What do you intend to do, Master? Did you accept Count Valte's proposal?"
Luna asked with a grave expression. Then again, Luna always wore a grave expression.
"I accepted it, for now. It wasn't a situation I could refuse to begin with. Count Valte probably engineered the whole thing from the start. Of course, I have no intention of moving according to his design."
You couldn't put your trust in a murderer who killed his own kin without batting an eye.
He would use me like a pawn and throw me away — that much was certain. And once he had the territory, Count Valte would discard the Countess of Coulon just as readily, like a worn-out shoe.
"Cast him aside before he casts you aside. What a fine turn of phrase. The Countess of Coulon really is a clever woman."
I said it with a gleam in my eye.
The marriage talks between Count Valte and myself were conducted primarily by letter. Citing the concern that a too-sudden wedding would raise Count Coulon's suspicions, I delayed the date as far as I reasonably could.
For the time being, I was publicly in Count Coulon's camp. I had fought for him in the territorial war, and he had granted me considerable authority.
Count Valte took my opinion on board, and we agreed the wedding would be next year. I casually pressed him for details of the plan to assassinate Count Coulon, but on that subject, Count Valte refused to say a word.
The matter was so grave that he would not tolerate even the slightest leak — that was the impression he gave. It was, to be fair, a scheme too dangerous to share even with someone in the same boat.
"Um... Master? Could you come down to the kitchen for a moment?"
A tiny girl whose head barely reached my chest asked it in the most adorable voice. She was just over a hundred and fifty centimeters, a compact little thing — Belia, the mansion's head chef, one of the servants I had hired when I purchased the estate.
"What is it, Belia? Are we short on sugar?"
The cooking at my mansion, incidentally, was loaded with modern ingredients and spices. Belia had so many culinary skills that she could whip up delicious dishes from whatever I gave her without breaking a sweat. Her food was nearly indistinguishable from real-world cooking.
"No, it's not that! It's just... there's an ingredient I absolutely want to use."
"An ingredient you want to use?"
"Yes! I'm making the maids' meal, and... um... I really, really want to use your semen, Master!"
Belia declared it in a bold, ringing voice. As a member of this household, she of course also performed the duty of satisfying my sexual appetite. I had lost count of the times I had come up behind her while she cooked in a naked apron, wrapped my arms around her, and taken her on the spot. Naturally, she had tasted my semen more than a few times.
"Hmm. Semen, is it."
"That rich, melting texture you can't get from any other ingredient! A clean finish that surpasses even Snow Sugar, and a fragrance that lingers so thickly! And the incredible sense of satisfaction you feel when you eat it! If I use that, I just know an amazing dish will be born!"
She praised my semen with evangelical fervor. In fairness, every maid who had eaten it ended up sounding exactly like that. It really must have tasted good.
Plenty of dishes used the testes of animals or fish. The milt of male fish — called iri in Korea and shirako in Japan — was a famous delicacy.
"Fine. Take as much as you can squeeze out."
I went down to the kitchen and submitted to being milked without complaint. Belia and the other cooks crowded in around me in twos and threes, stroking my cock with their hands.
"I want to take it in my pussy..."
"No! Then we can't put it in the food!"
"Head Chef! Us too!"
"Ah! Wait your turn!"
The other cooks were all women as well. My mansion was staffed entirely by women. I had hired men for the heavy labor, but they all worked well out of my sight.
They extracted enough semen from me to fill a bottle. Even after producing that much, I felt like I could still come a little more. My own virility was starting to frighten me.
That evening, the maids' meal was a roaring success. The ones who knew the secret ingredient invaded my bedroom and wrung me for more until dawn, and I had to keep rolling my hips until the sky lightened. A thoroughly obscene and thoroughly enjoyable time.
While Grea diligently ran the merchant company, I pulled Arme off paperwork and ordered her to gather intelligence. The subject: everything there was to know about Rienner Coulon. Arme put her master-thief abilities to full use and collected a great deal of information. Unfortunately, very little of it was what I actually wanted.
"She's a meticulous woman. In a whole week, she hasn't left the lord's castle even once. And it doesn't look like any other guests have come to the castle, either."
"According to Count Valte, the two of them aligned their stories at the funeral."
"Plotting to assassinate her husband at the funeral of her two dead sons. What a magnificent villainess. You okay with this, Master? Taking in a woman like that?"
"The one in the wrong is Count Coulon. To drive a wife that beautiful to thoughts that vicious — he ought to apologize with his death."
"Heh! That's our master. Wicked enough to put a thief to shame. I like it."
"Everyone is equal under my cock. But in Rienner Coulon's case, a little correction may be in order."
"Correction?"
"Yes. An education that brands into her the difference between female and male. Once she's had a taste of my cock she won't be thinking of anything else — but a proper training is still better. And if that can soothe the vengeful spirit of the late Count Coulon, so much the better."
Count Coulon would die for the crime of failing to educate his wife. I would train her myself and settle his grudge. I was sure the Count down in hell would be so pleased he'd ascend straight to heaven.
"The Count isn't dead yet."
I shook my head at Arme's petty nitpick.