That Day (1)

Above the Shipwreck Graveyard.

The lifeless body of a hunter was hurled into the sea.

That was the price of clinging to a free-win build even after the nerf.

What an aggravating bastard.

Once you're nailed into the coffin, you ought to stay put.

A wet slap against the empty wreck. I sprawled out flat and caught my breath for a moment.

How many matches had I played, anyway?

My body felt strangely heavy, and I couldn't quite remember.

It was a sign that it was about time to step out of the dive pod. A human body falls apart without sleep, and mine was starting to send out warnings.

Yeah.

I really should log out soon.

Once I was out, I'd have to shove food into myself right away, same as always. Supplements, too — those needed proper attention. Long-term shut-in living required surprisingly delicate maintenance.

But there was something I had to do first.

My greatest prize from the previous commission.

An item even guilds treasured, nestled carefully in my inventory.

Naturally, I still hadn't returned it to SSA Guild. This was my rightful spoils of war.

I had fulfilled every term of the commission and then some. I'd killed eight out of ten enemies myself — they had no right to complain. I wasn't the one who took the item in the first place; that was Dongmicham's assassin. All I did was take it back from that assassin. Strictly speaking, those were two entirely separate incidents.

Whether SSA Guild would agree was another matter entirely. Still, the silence suggested they simply thought it was gone. They probably figured Dongmicham had recovered it. From Myeolgong's mouth, they would only have heard the report up to the point of dying to the assassin. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have bothered chasing a fleeing assassin either.

But now the five-day trade lock had expired. What I did with this item was entirely up to me!

Even so, my hand drifted toward a name on my friends list. If you wanted to work this scene for any length of time, showing a little loyalty mattered. SSA had been the client this time, so giving them first right of purchase wouldn't hurt. Of course, they'd still have to pay full price.

What should I eat today.

The menu was obviously ramen, but ramen came in many varieties. Even with the same noodles, whether you boiled them or stir-fried them was a serious question.

All right. Decision made.

Today, for the first time in a while, I'd go with black bean ramen.

Standing on one leg like a crane, I picked up the pan. A drizzle of oil, then an egg. I didn't usually indulge in luxuries like eggs, but when someone gave them to you, you ate them. I set the soft-fried egg carefully aside and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠boiled the noodles.

"Man, why was I craving this so badly today? I don't even eat it that often."

I couldn't quite remember the last time I'd had real jjajangmyeon. I'd eaten black bean ramen even after my body changed, but the two were completely different foods in my mind. The taste itself seemed similar enough, and yet somehow subtly not.

While the ramen cooked, I had to keep standing on one foot. That wasn't exactly easy, so I sat down in a chair for a short break. Even then, my phone was lighting up with a storm of notifications.

Who was hunting me this hard was obvious enough. Multiple lines of messages — so it wasn't just one person. Probably SSA's guild master or the officer corps.

But if I ignored them, what exactly could they do? Besides trembling that their hard-won opportunity might slip away, what could they actually do?

A snort of laughter escaped me.

I'd set my reply for twelve hours later. I couldn't break a promise to myself. Sadly, that meant the moment I finished eating, I had no choice but to crawl into bed and sleep.

Still… maybe just a peek?

As long as I didn't reply, it was fine.

The moment I woke, a sudden intuition found me.

There was a demon in the blankets. A demon that had plunged countless humans into suffering.

Afraid of that animal instinct becoming real, I squeezed my eyes shut. It was a meaningless gesture. The demon that had come for me was not the kind you could escape by turning away from reality. If anything, the other senses sharpening only made the dread grow.

The demon that had found me was something I could never welcome — something most of humanity once regarded as "impurity" or "divine punishment." A curse that rusted iron and made flowers die, that made you bleed.

I forced the fear down and pulled back the covers. Strength left my hands.

"You've got to be kidding me…… What am I supposed to do about this?"

My soft, fluttery pajamas were stained the color of blood.

Yes. The demon's name was menstruation.

Normally there were warning signs a day or two in advance. I'd been so buried in the game that I simply hadn't noticed. Stuck in the dive pod the whole time and then straight to sleep — maybe it was only natural.

Thankfully, it didn't seem to have reached the blankets. Laundry was a nightmare with this body, so I'd been worried, but washing myself and changing clothes should be enough.

"Ugh……!"

As I reached into the cabinet for a towel, a sudden cramp folded my body in on itself.

I didn't know if my period pain was especially bad. I didn't think of myself as someone who made a fuss, but pain wasn't something you could compare with other people. After my body changed, I was even less sure. Still, as my body had weakened, my mind seemed to have weakened with it. When my lower abdomen felt like it was being wrung out, cold sweat came with the groans.

"Nngh, kh……! Hoo…… Hnnngh."

It was fine. Pain didn't last forever. A humiliation I had to endure once a month no matter what. The intermittent ache was unavoidable.

So what truly tormented me wasn't the pain in my lower belly.

Suddenly the one-room apartment that had felt like a fortress felt like a prison without bars. Trapped inside it, I was trash drifting on an open sea. The way my heart would thrash without direction at times like this — and then, for no reason at all, my mood would lift and I'd find myself smirking — that was the real monster that made me suffer.

Damn.

I couldn't stay like this.

Wash first. Once I clean the blood off my body, I'll feel a little better. Then I go into the game.

My judgment had been right. The moment the water hit me, that sticky, clinging feeling in my chest diluted, if only a little. And more than anything, the warmth felt good.

Human skin always runs cooler than core body temperature. That's why holding someone else's hand lets you feel warmth as your heat exchanges. It must be because humans were born as animals that crave other people. But the world also had people like me, who couldn't receive warmth from others. So sometimes you had to fill that missing warmth with hot water, and other times with a blanket.

A little lonely. I thought I'd gotten used to it by now.

I never used to get sick much, so I hadn't known. When your body hurts, you turn sentimental for no good reason. That was why I hated periods so terribly. The red stains rinsing away between my legs, the presence of breasts under the soap — none ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of it ever grew familiar. I'd even considered just cutting this long hair short. The hairdresser had made a huge fuss about how wasteful that would be, and it didn't seem like it would help me anyway, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠so I dropped it. It would have felt too much like running away, and that left a bad taste. I had already changed. Trying to trick the eye into looking even a little like before would only be pathetic. That kind of escape wasn't my style.

But I don't have to bear this kind of pain alone.

I came out with a towel around my head and immediately opened the internet. Putting on one of the pads I'd stockpiled, I searched for streamers currently live. I went into each broadcast one by one, roughly mapping their locations in my head.

They all looked like they were having so much fun.

While my day had gone to hell.

If you're going to enjoy yourselves, let's enjoy this together.