Chapter 3
Chapter 3
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 3
Chapter Title: Milf Village of Beginnings
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They sure have a colorful array of ways to screw over players.
I poked just my head out and gazed at the dizzyingly distant ground below.
"......"
Just looking down was enough to make my knees buckle.
Why the hell would they set a place like this as the starting point?
Since it's a game, maybe there's a hidden path or something?
Yeah. Actually, this spot is the starting point and also a secret hideout for later on.
In case I wreck the game somehow—like if I end up wanted for something—the devs' way of saying hide here where no one knows... Yeah, that doesn't make a lick of sense.
For starters, according to this world's lore and setting, most mages can use levitation spells.
A place that's just high up with no decent cover like bushes to hide in? As a shelter? Ridiculous.
Plus, what game makes newbies take a hidden path just to reach the starting village? Even that game where you could date Judah Hee-young had a kinder tutorial than this.
"Haa..."
But my heart was racing.
The thrill of finding and solving a hidden puzzle element is something special.
And I'm a guy who prefers unconventional methods.
Who do you think I am? An ALPG no-lifer? Wrong.
I'm a no-lifer for all games.
Climbing games were among them.
I took a close look at the cliff face—plenty of handholds and footholds.
Alright. Let's give it a shot.
I swung the longsword from my back to the front to keep my center of gravity steady, then slowly placed my foot on the cliffside.
Scared? I'm pretty fearless, actually.
And in a game, dying just means respawning, right?
Besides, after falling countless times in those climbing games, it's hard to get spooked now.
Of course, those games had safety lines as standard, but I love pervy playstyles.
I've scaled and descended mountains way steeper than this cliff dozens of times without a line.
My confidence wasn't misplaced.
I could feel the ground getting noticeably closer at a pretty decent pace, even to myself.
Heh. A grin crept across my lips.
Good. Won't take much longer.
That's what I thought back then.
"Huff... Hah..."
This is brutally exhausting.
I never realized how tough climbing games were without infinite stamina...
How far have I come? Halfway?
Even if it's a VR game, did they really need to simulate stamina limits this harshly?
"Damn that goddess bitch..."
Why drop me in a hellhole like this...
I looked up, but it was so far I couldn't even see the cliff top anymore.
Felt like staring up at a rooftop from a high-rise lobby you can't even make out.
No climbing back up now.
In the end, I cursed under my breath and descended with trembling limbs.
Time dragged on and on.
Blood filled my mouth, my limbs felt like lead.
I couldn't move another inch.
And I still hadn't reached the bottom.
How much farther? It's been ages, right?
Maybe I'm almost there?
But twisting to look down felt like I'd plummet right then.
My stamina was that depleted.
Strange sensation.
The taste of the air. The sticky, gross feel of sweat inside my body...
The tension that any slip could send me tumbling to shatter on the rocks below...
I don't have a fear of heights.
But everyone's felt it at some point.
That knee-weakening chill from peering down at a low railing or sketchy high spot.
This was on another level—no comparison.
No safety line.
Every step sent rocks crumbling, making me think I'd fall with each extension of my foot.
...They really nailed this game.
Climbing games never gave me shaky flesh or buckling knees. It was just labor... or play.
This felt real.
The thought that I might actually die freezes your body.
...It's been a while since I felt this.
Back a few years ago, every day was a thrill ride.
Feeling like I'd gone back to those days, my stiff body surged with vitality.
"Hoo..."
Deep breaths.
I'll get down no matter what.
This isn't reality. It's virtual.
I won't die for real anyway.
But losing all this effort so far? I'd rather die.
No ledges to rest on around here.
Can't hold position. I'll fall soon.
So, squeeze out every last drop of strength and descend.
Even in this mess, a smile tugged at my lips somehow.
How long since I pushed my body this hard? It's been years holed up at home.
I exercised to avoid dangerously gaining weight, but driving my body to utter exhaustion like this? Ages.
Loveheart. Thinking of that dog of a goddess pisses me off, but it reminded me of the gratitude for honest labor after so long.
"Alright. Let's do this."
Hoo. Inhale, move arms and legs.
By my rough estimate, the ground was close now.
The moment I lifted my foot to the next hold.
Crunch.
"Whoa...?!"
A wobble—and gravity slammed down.
I reflexively drew my sword and jammed it into the cliff.
Plus, instincts from past games kicked in.
I tried to activate 'Know Thyself and Know Thy Enemy' and 'Severing Sword'.
Clang!
"Ugh?!"
But the cliff was insanely tough.
Was this the same wall that cracked and crumbled under my feet before?
The blade barely scratched it before bouncing back, shoving me away... and moments later.
Wind howled around my whole body.
Falling.
Like that sudden drop in your stomach during sleep. Dizziness crept up.
Enjoy it? Bullshit.
Fucking goddess bitch. If she shows up laughing after I respawn, I'll stab the shit out of her.
Splat!
"Urk!"
I bounced like a frog, then tumbled head over heels.
Lifting my head, I finally grasped the situation.
"Made it down."
As expected, the ground wasn't far off.
Checking my body—exhausted, but otherwise fine.
Looking up, I could see the scratch from my sword strike with the naked eye.
About 5 meters up? Pretty high, but with game stats beyond a normal human, I seemed unscathed.
I could've just jumped from there.
Maybe this game gives you a body tough enough to survive falls from the initial cliff.
But it felt too real to test that.
"Ow..."
I brushed myself off and stood.
I picked up my sword, scattered haphazardly nearby, and sheathed it with a shink.
The moment before the fall came back to me.
Felt like skills from that other game triggered... or maybe not.
First things first—check my status.
I wanted to know my current specs.
In past games, I could slice the sky with a sword swing, but now I'm a total newbie.
No clue how strong Level 1 me is.
At least stronger than a normal person, I figure...
Fastest way to check is combat, but no enemies now, so status window it is.
"Status window."
.....
Nothing. Fucking silent again.
"Status screen. Stats screen."
Feels so déjà vu.
I yelled until I was tired and headed to the village.
I didn't even want to lift a finger now.
Half a day ago, I was fired up for battle, but climbing burned it all away.
Log out here...?
Strong urge hit, but I pushed it down.
At least, I wanted to get this character—my alter ego—to a comfy rest spot.
You might call it nonsense, but I have this obsession about my character resting in perfect condition...
Wanted to clean up this sweat-soaked body too.
Call me crazy. Game addict. No arguments.
But a character is another me.
Doesn't this one deserve a reward after slaving body and soul all day?
Thinking that way made my zombie steps lively.
It took a good hike from the cliff to the village, but imagining future battles made it fly by.
The surroundings were already getting dim.
Even if I weren't wiped and raring to fight, it wasn't ideal for combat.
I marveled at the village gate.
"Whoa... Pretty well-equipped, huh?"
I'd imagined a sleepy, peaceful pastoral village on wide plains for newbies, but the walls looked sturdy, and massive gates had proper guards on watch.
Amazed, then suddenly anxious.
This insane game keeps throwing curveballs... No weird event at the gate, right?
Still, can't just stand here.
I approached.
The two guards, faces hardening at me, slammed their spears down with a thunk!.
"Halt!"
"Whoa, uh. Okay."
Caught off guard, I raised both hands high, signaling no threat.
They stared wide-eyed. What? Why the shock?
"It's a person."
"Coming with that shambling walk in the dark, thought you were undead. Scared us."
"Ahh..."
Fantasy world indeed. Undead at the gates?
Do undead here need total limb destruction to die too?
Adventure itching again, but my stomach growled, snapping me back.
"Can I pass, then?"
"No, show your pass."
"Pass?"
They sensed my confusion? The air shifted from casual to tense.
"You don't have one?"
"Uh. Well..."
As I floundered, the tall guard subtly nodded to the pudgy one. Bad sign.
I jumped in quick.
"I'm not suspicious."
"Even so, no pass in these times... Never seen your face here, so no local ID. Hold on. Gotta check if you're wanted."
Hey, hey, hey.
This is too much, right?
How do they make even entering the village a pain?
Damn goddess bitch. Skip my ass—did she skip all the key info too?
"No... I just arrived in this world... this region today."
"First time in the region? Ah."
The guard's face lit up like he'd figured it out.
"Lemme see that sword."
"Sword?"
"The hilt specifically. Oh... Thought so."
The guard grinned, relieved.
"You're an Outsider! Fresh arrival too."
"Uh, yeah... Yes."
Outsider?
That's what they call players, huh.
"How far'd you come to look that ragged? Other Outsiders usually..."
"Hey. He looks beat. Let him through."
The quiet, wary pudgy guard elbowed and muttered. Nice guy.
"Right, right. Sorry. Got questions, hit up the guards or this post. Stables are a short walk that way, inn's along the main central road—few'll pop up."
"Ah. Thanks."
I bowed thanks nonstop to the friendly guard uncle and finally entered the village.
So... tired...
Gotta crash at an inn.
...Oh right.
"Um, what's this village called?"
Gonna be my base for a while—better memorize the name.
The sentry chuckled and replied.
"Welcome to Milf Village!"
"Thanks... Huh?"
...Wait. Milf?
"Heard about those bandits...?"
“More like that super strong monster nearby...”
...These uncles dropping solid hooks.
Even booking an inn was a hassle.
No money.
Precisely, five coppery bronze coins.
The youngish beauty innkeeper said one night was 1 silver, short by 5 bronze.
10 bronze = 1 silver.
"...I see..."
Deflated...
I slumped without thinking.
Guard mentioning stables wasn't random.
"We're in the red lately, times are tight... Oh?"
The innkeeper blinked, eyeing my sword. Specifically, the hilt emblem.
"An Outsider, huh?"
"Ah. Yes."
What's this? Service for Outsiders?
Her eyes widened briefly, then she smiled slyly. That smile was oddly alluring. I tensed a bit.
...Self-control.
"Outsiders get half off. National policy."
"For real?!"
Then I can stay!
Things proceeded smoothly after. A super cute errand boy glared daggers... whatever. Kid, that hood doesn't suit you.
Like a child trying to look grown-up.
After a refreshing wash, I dove into bed.
"...Sleep..."
Sleep hit the moment I lay down.
Falling asleep here would wake me in reality via capsule safeties, but should I log out...?
Then.
Knock knock knock.
"......"
What. I'm sleeping.
Knock knock knock.
"Ugh, damn it..."
Didn't seem they'd leave, so I grumbled and opened the door.
And there was the innkeeper from earlier?
"What is it...?"
Money calc error now?
But she knows my pockets best—would she mess up?
More like, a sexy adult woman visiting an adult man's room late night?
Weird fantasies hit.
.....
Hmm... Restrain.
"Outsider."
"Huh? Yes."
"Straight to the point: Won't you buy me for the night?"
"...Pardon?"
She pushed the door wider and approached.
Whoosh. Floral scent filled my nose.
Thump thump.
Heart pounding, loins stirring.
"What do you say?"
...What now?