I Messed Up
“Uuu...”
Lily, you went and did it with Risha... My face burns. I finish bathing and step out of the bathroom, frantically covering it with both hands.
What the hell did I just do? Driven by instinct, I barge into the bathroom where Risha is, bury myself in that gorgeous body of hers—barely covered by a thin towel—and let her hands roam everywhere. And then she even sucked on my neck and collarbone. This... this is weird. No matter how I look at it, it's weird. It's basically perverted stuff. Why? I'm a TS girl? I'm a total yuri nut? All I wanted was to witness sweet girls laughing and driving polar bears to extinction—I never meant to wedge myself into the yuri!
“Ugh...”
“Why are you groaning like that?”
“Uuuuugh...”
“...”
Well, yeah, we're sex partners, so that kind of relationship means lewd stuff is par for the course. She dragged me to a love hotel, and I basically seduced her first, so I can't complain... The one small comfort? We didn't go all the way. Yeah. No rubbing, no fingering, no licking or sucking, so it wasn't sex. Just got touched and felt good. That's standard between girls, right? I pretend I never freaked out over girls just breathing close and chatting at the start of the semester, calling it yuri this and that. Or rather, I didn't know.
“...”
I sit on the edge of the room's single bed, wearing nothing but a bathrobe over bare skin—no underwear. My legs are primly together, head turned away because I can't face Risha yet. Anyone seeing me would think I'd just lost my virginity. I mock myself for it.
...But it felt good...
“Waaah?!”
“You scared me. What's with you...?”
What am I even thinking? I shake my head wildly every which way. Begone, demon. Lewd demon. Go crawl into that corner over there.
How am I supposed to explain today's events to my 10 billion yuri unit? Sign here... TS yuri is still yuri... If I ever uttered that, my body would get torn to shreds and fed to starving dogs. I imagine it and instantly turn teary-eyed, only to laugh hollowly in defeat.
And Risha, spotting that laugh, approaches. She sits on the bed's edge just like me, scooting her hips right up against mine—so close our pelvises touch. Actually, they are touching. The acacia scent wafting from her long, loose golden hair numbs my reason. I dazedly steal a glance at those pink lips. My eyes drift down to her fingers. I imagine the curves hidden by her robe. I recall how soft her skin felt when our bodies overlapped...
“Waaah!!!”
“Don't freak out, Lily.”
“H-how can you say that?!”
It's not like I like you or anything. I just think your body's pretty, getting touched by you feels good, so maybe you'll do it again—that's all. You're so close my heart's pounding like crazy...
“...”
No, what the hell is this? Stupid thoughts...? I'm broken. I don't care if someone's next to me—I bolt around the hotel room, face beet-red, screaming uwaaah aaah aaaah! Until my throat gives out from all the yelling, leaving just croaks.
“Guhk, hek, guuuuek...”
She's something else. No matter what insane crap I pull, she just props her chin, watching the show like it's hilarious. Once I'm spent, panting and coughing, she flashes that seductive eye-smile and says calmly,
“Good to see you've perked up.”
“All my energy's gone...”
“Better than before.”
“Before? When?”
“When you were dredging up the old stuff.”
Oh. She's talking about the elementary school incident. What kind of face was I making for her to say that? It naturally brings back what happened earlier. No leads in the end. What now? I feel lost. Like I've got bipolar or something—one second I'm rampaging, the next I'm moping like a flipped palm.
Risha soothes me. “I'll help.”
“...You're already helping.”
“More sincerely.”
“Sincerely? How...?”
“Finding one or two people? No big deal. Might take some effort, though.”
Then what was I doing? If you've got such a good way, why'd you come here with me? I don't voice it. She's offering help, process be damned. But it's fishy—she said it'd take effort, so it'll be a hassle. No such thing as free favors. I'm not naive enough to expect that.
I hesitate. “I-I don't have anything to offer...”
I'm a sly bastard. Even I know it. I say stuff like this to manipulate—predicting she'll respond a certain way. Doing it now, too. Batting my eyes pitifully, lips pursed, nudging her to say, No, we're sex friends—or friends—so it's fine, I'll do it. If she were normal, she'd bite. And sure enough,
“Don't worry about it.”
I cheer inwardly, but hate myself for it. Pathetic bitch. No, bastard. Self-loathing bubbles up. But so what? Does it feed me? Get me what I want? I rationalize.
Huh. At some point, Alicia's giving me a subtle look. Her crescent-moon blue eyes pierce straight through me.
“Think of it as payment for touching your body.”
“Huh?”
“It was delicious.”
“What?”
“Thanks for the meal.”
“......”
So... not a favor, not free—paying for letting you touch my body, so I'll help. Is that what she's saying...?
Eek! I hurriedly straighten my robe. Ugh, Lily's not a total lez slut...
“Kidding. You jumped.”
“That wasn't a joke...!”
“Don't overreact. Someone'd think we actually did it.”
“Eek...!”
We bicker like that for a while. She teases mischievously, I go crimson denying it—no no no—and she teases more, I flail... Time slips away. Night falls completely outside; it's pitch black. Teasing and blushing only fills so much time—the night's too long.
Risha naturally flops onto the bed. “Tired,” she says.
“You should sleep too. You had a rough day.”
“Not that rough.”
“Mental strain, though?”
“A bit...”
“Yeah. Rest up. I'm first.”
She closes her eyes. But my mind's wide awake. Lately, nights mean hugging Dana tight, sniffing her—pushing bedtime back. No way I can sleep.
“......”
Gazing down at sleeping Risha, I think idly. I've pondered this before. If—just if—I ever got lewd with girls, I'd definitely be the top. Back when I didn't reject girls yet. Of course, never actually tried. Past life, not a girl; this one, no chance or will.
But naturally, I'd be the one dominating. Knowledge gap's huge. Born a yuri lover, a few clicks taught me every position, act, how to make a girl feel good—and I remember it all. If I wanted, I could make anyone squeal. No bluff—legit confidence. For real. I could prove it. On sleeping Risha right now. Not going all the way, but revenge for teasing me? She dared mock a girl who's devoured every yuri out there. Time to scare her. Yeah.
I think it over, then creep forward and pounce on Risha.
......
So why... did it end up like this?
I'm trapped in Risha's arms, moaning. Pinned down, robe loose and exposing skin—I couldn't fix it in time.
“Ah, st-stomach, nooo...”
“Cheeky.”
“There, it hurts, ah, don't touch...”
Her hands are relentless. Like toying with a plaything, she traces the brutal bruises left from barging in on Dana's shower—got beat for that. Come to think of it, bathroom invasions again. Her pale hand strokes the blue-black bruise on my belly. I say it hurts, but she shows no mercy. It does hurt, so why am I making these weird noises?
“Lily's such a perv.”
“No, that's not...”
“If you want it, say so.”
“...”
“Gonna stay quiet again?”
“......”
Despite her tone—like typical you—Risha moves expertly. She taps my lower belly with her palm: tap tap tap. Pure play, not lewd at all, but it resonates inside, buzzing, and I'm already dizzy. Head thrown back, tongue lolling, I let out a pathetic hnyaa.
“This is what happens when you mess around.”
Her sticky whisper in my ear—mind blank, vision flashing—nyeh, nyeheh, lisping as the words burn into my brain.
This... this isn't right. I meant to pin her, terrify her, go uhuhu, you're cute—scare her a bit, that's all. How'd it turn into this?
Risha gives no quarter. She clings relentlessly all night—I'm exhausted, can't sleep, it's torture. I apologize—sorry, won't mess around—beg even, but she won't stop. Why pet my head saying pretty girl while tormenting me? Later, near tears glaring, she scolds my eyes don't suit me. Skin raw from belly rubs—no other spots touched, just lower belly—until I finally black out.