Because We're Friends!
Friends do that sometimes! “.........” I suddenly wake up from sleep. When did I even fall asleep? But there's no time to think about it.
Serina's peacefully sleeping face is right there in front of me. What the hell is this? What the fuck? If either of us tilts our head forward just a little, our foreheads or noses or lips would touch immediately. I barely swallow the scream that bubbles up automatically and pull my body back.
I can't just go UWAAAAAH right in front of a sleeping girl. I slide down to the floor under the bed and plop my butt onto the cold wooden floorboards. As my dazed mind clears, memories from last night start trickling in one by one.
“......”
Even if it was half-asleep, I let her touch me all over defenselessly, making those weird hik hik noises every time her hands brushed me, and leaning into Serina's kindness until I was totally blissed out.... Ah.
I decide to stop thinking right there. If I recall any more of last night, I'll definitely want to die. I don't wanna dieeeee...! Forgive me just this once. Aang, I'll gladly take any punishment, so pleeeease. I fucked up. Fucked up fucked up fucked up fucked up fucked up. Yuri Goddess, give me a chance to repent. My whole body's sticky like a slug, but it felt good, no that's not it, Serina's face is pretty, I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up definitely fucked up...!
“...” Raw bundles of thoughts whirl through my brain like a tornado. I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore.
But even in this total chaos, one thing is crystal clear: I need to get the hell out. I bolt out of Serina's house as fast as I can. Quick as a flash.
… … …
Over one mountain, and there's another. Or in true Lily fashion: past Serina, there's Dana.
I drag my still-sticky body over the school fence and into my dorm room, where Dana greets me with a face straight out of a goblin tale. Wait, no—it's not a goblin face. There's no expression on it at all.
Dana's eyes roll over me, scanning my disheveled state. Her already pitch-black eyes seem to lose all their light. Does she not even have the energy to get mad anymore? No, more like... a nuclear bomb on the verge of detonation.
I slam my forehead to the floor first. Screw pride—I drop to my knees and bow my head. Enter: the Lily-style grovel!
“I messed up!”
“...”
“No, wait, I didn't plan to stay out overnight or anything...”
“I told you to at least let me know if you're crashing somewhere else. Is that so hard for you?”
Her voice is flat, no ups and downs. It's not calm—it's like a machine's cold tone drilling straight into my ear. Way scarier than if she were yelling. Hiek.
I can't bear to meet those eyes or hear that voice anymore, so I shove my head down further. Now I look like I'm praying at a temple. And from above me comes a lecture that's not quite a lecture.
“First time, fine, it happens. Second time too. I didn't get it, but whatever. But this is the third time already. What does that make me, the idiot who was worried something happened to you?”
“Uh, yeah, no more overnights, I swear...?”
“You think I'm mad just because you stayed out? Am I that insignificant to you? Just give me a heads-up so I don't worry. You can manage that much, right? Lily. Wasn't that our deal?”
“Y-Yes!”
Dana keeps going. Her voice, worn thin with fatigue, cracks at the edges, but she doesn't care.
“This pisses me off. The whole situation pisses me off. You kneeling there all meek. Me yelling at you.”
“I messed up, so that's just...”
“It feels like I'm trying to control you. Come on, make some excuse. Or bitch at me like, 'What's your deal getting hung up on overnights?' Huh?”
I got nothing to say, even with ten mouths. I shut up like a mute, and Dana just gets more frustrated.
“Am I wrong to be mad right now?”
“No, yell more, please yell. Dana's mad face is cute too...”
“Not in the mood for jokes.”
“...Sorry.”
My dumb joke backfires hard. I decide to just stay quiet and let her vent until she's done. And so, she lays into me hard for a good while. Enough to make tears well up. Yeah. I didn't actually cry at this age, though....
But it looks like it's not over yet.
“What kept you out so late? Who were you with? Spill.”
“Yes'm.”
No way I'm lying to Dana when she's this pissed. I tell her everything from last night, down to the last detail. Got dragged to Serina's, messed around with Serina like crazy.... Well, skipping the middle parts and just the conclusion, yeah, that's the gist. No, anyone hearing this would misunderstand. It was just some touching. Yeah. Got a massage, panted a bit, slept in the same bed... just that much.
“...You?”
Dana looks baffled after hearing it all. Like she doesn't know what face to make. But she seems shocked. Maybe mad, maybe happy. Could be I'm seeing things, but anyway.
No way. Dana stares at me like she can't believe it. I know what she wants to say. I've been pathologically avoiding girls up close.
But what's done is done—what can I do? I defend myself desperately.
“B-Because we're friends!”
“What?”
“Friends do that sometimes!”
“...”
I did nothing wrong. Serina's not bad. So last night was no big deal. Miraculous three-step logic. Friends can do that anytime, that's the premise. Intentions matter most anyway. Serina was just massaging her friend who was on the verge of catching a cold all over from worrying about her, and I'm a conscientious TS girl who didn't plan any funny business even if I misunderstood or took advantage of that intent. No problem there.
That's my self-defense, at least. Dana hears my final argument and says nothing. She just blinks occasionally.
Ooh, it's working. I grovel one last time, hands and feet moving like crazy.
“Anyway, won't happen again. I won't crash outside. Okay?”
“...”
“Even if you ban overnights, I hold no grudges against you...”
“...You're still missing the point. That's not why I'm mad.”
“But it is about the overnights, right? So if you make me stop...”
Dana speaks again, with a hint of grievance.
“Make it so you can't stay out? If I could control you like that, I'd have done it ages ago. Even worse stuff. I could've locked you up and kept you from going anywhere.”
“...?”
“The way I feel about you. Wait. Ah.”
“Dana?”
“...Slip of the tongue. Forget it.”
Eh? Come on, that's too much. Not something friends do. As I sense something off, Dana takes back her words. But like spilled water, you can't scoop it back up.
Then, for the first time today, her blank expression shatters completely. A flustered face looks down at me. She calls it a mistake and turns away. She looks like someone pierced by her own thorn, hurt.
And out of nowhere: “Sorry...”
The situation twists weirdly. I'm the one who screwed up, the one groveling, but suddenly Dana's apologizing to me.
“If my nagging bothers you, I'll stop paying attention to you.”
It's so out of context, I can't agree or disagree. I just watch. She looks scared right now. No idea what she's imagining. I can't read Dana's mind, and even if I could, I don't want to pretend I do. I say nothing.
Just chalk it up to her mood swings, exhaustion making her thoughts glitch, so she snaps then apologizes, all inconsistent. That's all I think.
… After a bit, Dana calms down quick. I'm still kneeling the whole time. Ugh, my knees are starting to hurt. Did she go too far?
“Lily. Don't go twisting my words later.”
“Huh?”
“What I just said.”
Is this the same girl who was just freaking out and super sorry to me? I stare blankly up at Dana, who's smirking with twisted lips.
What she just said? What.
“What'd I say again?”
Her face oddly refreshed after the apology, Dana doesn't even blink at my shameless act. Instead, she punishes me for asking like an idiot. Play dumb if you want. That's what her foot says, if it had a mouth.
Yeah. That was the punishment. And the foot.
Suddenly, she bends her long leg, lifts her heel, positions her five neat toes so the soles are fully visible, and plants it firmly on the back of my head like staking a flag....
Kuwek.