I Hate It When My Delinquent Childhood Friend and the Top Student Intrude in a Yuri Story
I really hate things like you. It's the third day since enrollment. I hunker down in the corner of the classroom, surveying my surroundings like a potted plant. Or a tree. Minimizing my presence, sharpening only my hearing to eavesdrop on the chatter around me.
"They say the baking club is recruiting new members, so I joined!"
"Baking? Suits you."
"Ah, if I ever make something, I'll give you some."
"No thanks. I don't really like snacks."
"You don't?"
"...Well, if you're giving it to me, no reason not to take it..."
"You like them?"
"Yeah."
Girls so pretty you could pluck out their eyes and they'd still be flawless, all clustered together, laughing haha-ho-ho! And that one over there—she's a total pro. Master at leading someone to admit they like it...! With that innocent "I have no idea" face, I just wanna stamp a gold star on her forehead. What a beautiful sight. It's only day three, but the class has already split into cliques of like-minded girls. In this world. Everywhere I look, it's pure yuri vibes. This, this is the scent of fluffy pure love!
"Heh, heheheheh... Oops."
Control the expression. Control it. I clutch my pounding heart against my tits and take slow, deep breaths. Okay, calming down now. It's not like I want to look good for anyone—I'm just stashing away my goofy grin. Otherwise, squatting alone in the corner like a weirdo draws eyes. These sweet girls won't leave a loner like me alone, and if we get friendly and some poor soul accidentally hits on me, I'd probably drop dead from sheer despair. So I like being the outcast. That's my concept. Don't wanna get tangled with anyone. Yeah. Spend that time on one more frame of youthful yuri instead of wasting it on trash like me...!
Hide my presence. Like a ninja. Behold, the ninja high school girl. Me.
"Fucking bliss—"
But the happiness bubbling in my chest demands to escape somehow... Whispering it as tiny as possible was my last shred of sanity. Thank god no one heard.
"Tch."
That tongue-click wasn't me. I whip my head toward the source, and there's Dana glaring at me like I'm the most pathetic thing alive. Grasping the situation, before I can even freak out that my ninja high school girl's ultimate stealth got busted?!, I blurt out the priority question. As quietly as possible.
"What're you doing, Dana...!"
"Huh?"
"Aren't you wasting this golden time?"
"I'll kill you if you keep talking shit."
"Hook one more girl, expand the harem... Wait, no. Ah. Fist, put it down, I won't say anything...!"
Absolutely not because my gut from yesterday's beating is whining like a bitch. Getting hit here would draw all eyes, and attention—good or bad—is the opposite of what I want. Go punch that healthy-looking girl instead. With love, of course.
"You'd be better off hanging with other girls... like the top student or whatever."
"Hey. You said you wouldn't talk."
"Delinquent and model student might be cliché, but it's a steady seller for a reason... Ow, seeing it in real life would be hot, heehee..."
"You calling me a delinquent?"
I tilt my head at the unexpected question.
"Aren't you?"
"..."
She can't deny it. But she looks a bit pissed. Instinct tells me: poke a little more, and I'll get gut-punched like yesterday. No masochist talent for enjoying beatings here, so I shut my trap for real. An awkward silence envelops just me and Dana. Amid the classroom blooming with cherry blossoms, what a mood. Truth is, she's my sore spot. I didn't birth her or raise her, but still. I lack self-control more than I thought, and sometimes I go off the rails. Like last night in the dorm. No matter how it looks on the outside, my true self is a disgusting TS girl chanting yuri yuri yuri yuri yuri.
My childhood friend Dana can't escape unscathed. Over a decade exposed to this filthy stalker's dank fantasies— it'd be weirder if she wasn't messed up.
"Uwaaaah...! S-sorry, D-Danaaa...!"
"Why're you crying all of a sudden, idiot!"
"Girls don't use words like that, Dana...!"
"..."
"Hic, sn-hic, uwaaaah...!"
Sorry. So sorry, Dana-chan...! Pretty face, solid character—if not for me, you'd be reigning as the lez queen everywhere! I've polluted a talent like yours, shown you every sight both good and bad, and now you're so sick of yuri itself. I've crushed a budding premium yuri strain— a hundred regrets wouldn't cover it. So these are tears of repentance flowing from my eyes. But wait, I shouldn't stand out right now. Ah, it's fine. Stealth mode active...
...
"Calmed down a bit?"
"Yeah. Seeing the top student's face helped."
"Hey."
"She's so pretty. How can she be that stunning."
"...We'll talk in the room later."
I wish she'd say stuff like that to other girls. If it wasn't aimed at me, it'd sound super seductive. What a shame. Dana storms off, all sulky. Thanks to that, I get to keep admiring the top student's face. Blonde hair—classic win...! Pale skin. Perky nose. Big eyes. Slender figure. Luxe bag screaming "I'm rich" suits her perfectly. Doll-like. And she's smart too? Total cheat code.
A quick glance around shows plenty of eyes on her besides mine. Not dank like mine, though—fresh and innocent. Like she's an idol of admiration. Perfect. Amazing. Admiration turning to love is the ultimate cliché, right? She arrives fashionably late and is soon swarmed by girls. I get curious. What kind of girl ends up dating someone that perfect? Plain Jane? Delinquent? Fellow goody-two-shoes? Or a harem, naturally? Dying to know...!
My thoughts naturally veer erotic. The kind of deranged perv who gets horny just looking at girls—someone could report me and I'd have no defense. Does she top or bottom? She's so gorgeous, her partner wouldn't hold back either way. I start worrying about the top student. What if she catches fire down there...?
"Mm, ungh..."
"What're you thinking about?"
"The top student...?"
"Yeah? What about her?"
"What if she catches fire down there...?"
"...Catches fire? Me?"
Wait, who am I even talking to? I've been rejecting approaching girls for three days straight, so the only one who'd talk to me is Dana, and she's sulking elsewhere. Oh, pretty blonde. Like a bucket of cold water, my fantasies shatter, and right in front of me is...
"Wha-buh, wha-buh-buh...!"
The face of the top student herself—the one I'd been mentally groping seconds ago.
"S-scared me...!"
I really jump, blinking wildly. Props to me for swallowing the curse just in time. Piercing my stealth like that—she's no ordinary player. As expected of the top student...! I nearly blurt some nonsense praise, but those languid eyes, vivid blue, lock onto me fully as she asks,
"Don't you think calling me 'top student' is too much when I'm right here?"
"W-well, I don't know your name...?"
"Alicia."
Oh. My. God. I plunge into despair. Can anyone else fathom what I feel when the top student gives me her name? I flail in waves of hopelessness. Whether my struggles touch her or not, she drives the nail deeper.
"You can call me Risha."
"Hic."
Nickname on first meeting? That's next-level slutty. You lewd bitch! Tears actually well up. Not from joy, but pure, utter regret. Why talk to trash like me, you idiot girl? I'm a total bomb. A trap card. Useless garbage that won't help your yuri arc at all...! Or are you some eco-activist? Pitying polar bears losing their homes, joining the evil axis controlling yuri?!
"Wh-why're you crying suddenly?"
"I hate it, wanna kill the polar bear, but you keep talking to me...!"
"...?"
"R-really hate you, top student...!"
"Risha."
"...Whatever, I hate you. Go awayyy...!"
I flail desperately. Why does a huge event like this hit trash like me? If it wasn't aimed at me—if I could just spectate—I'd die happy from bliss. Why, why me...!
I feign composure around then. Restraining my thrashing as much as possible, I tell the top student,
"I really hate it. Things like you...!"
Word salad, sure, but for scum like me, that's accurately conveying my intent. Normally, she'd think what a bitch and bail, letting me enjoy happy yuri life. But the top student isn't normal. After hearing me out, she leans in close—nose-to-nose—flashes a radiant smile, and calmly says,
"But I like you."
At those words, I foam at the mouth and pass out.