I Hate Couples
I hate couples. I hate couples.
Why? There are too many reasons to list without wearing out my mouth.
One time, some girl suddenly hooked her arm through mine and whispered, "Pretend we're flirting for a bit."
I thought my pink-tinted destiny had finally arrived.
Turns out, she was just using me to test her boyfriend's love.
And she picked me—a total stranger off the street.
"Hyejeong! Who's that guy?!"
"H-he's... just a friend!"
"Get away from my girl right now!"
I got slapped across the face for it. Lightning from a clear sky, right there on the sidewalk.
That was the beginning. After that, couples started acting like they had a grudge against me.
I went to see the theatrical release of my favorite anime, but thanks to some idiots who messed up their seat bookings, I ended up sandwiched between two couples. They were all over each other—sucking faces and everything—while I suffered in the middle.
"Honey~ Have some of my popcorn."
"Thanks~ You too, babe~"
"Hey, could you tone it down a bit?"
I finally snapped and yelled at them to cut it out, and guess who got kicked out of the theater for causing a disturbance? Me.
Whenever I stepped outside, couples would screw me over like that. My life fell apart. Their nonsense followed me everywhere, so I holed up at home.
Then even in webnovels, I got screwed by couples.
- "I love you. Never forget that, Maria."
- "If my father opposes us, I'll run away with you, Maria."
- "I love you. Even if it means abandoning my country, I want to be with you, Maria."
"What the fuck!"
What kind of bullshit plot twist is this?
Guys blinded by love suddenly pulling stupid stunts for the heroine, that's what.
Yeah, this was the classic problem with women-targeted romance fantasies. The male leads going blind with love.
And this was during the story's final crisis—they were boldly derailing everything with their love squabbles.
- "Ah, I fear no kingdom. As long as I have you, that's enough."
- "Let's elope. Or if you want... we can all elope together."
- "For love, I can sacrifice anything."
The ending was shocking.
The empire got invaded by the kingdom, and those lovesick lunatic male leads cheerfully doomed the empire.
What pissed me off even more? After wrecking the empire, they all ran off happily with the heroine. And the author smeared it all over with romantic flower field descriptions like it was some beautiful ending.
"Wasn't this supposed to be a romance fantasy?"
If I'd even known it was a women-targeted rofan...
I wouldn't have walked into this with my eyes wide open.
"At least put some goddamn tags on it!"
My hands were shaking with rage. They were screaming for me to drop some hate comments right then and there.
Even the author must've gone blind with love, sending the ending straight to hell!
I unleashed a 5,700-character rage comment. I was gonna demolish them.
I just wanted to convey even a tenth of my fury to the author. That was it.
Even women-targeted works explicitly tag romance. This was the author straight-up trolling me. And there wasn't even a "women-targeted" tag.
I was wronged. Deal damage. I wanted to troll the author's life right back.
But there was nothing I could do. Trying to vent my anger just made me madder.
"Ah... Aaaah..."
I was so furious my head spun.
My vision went strangely dark.
Just my imagination?
I grabbed the back of my neck and collapsed.
They say love makes you blind.
It's a romantic, poetic line at first glance.
Put differently, you literally go blind with love.
Those fools see nothing but love and have no clue how much damage they're causing around them. They don't even think to look.
My philosophy is always right. Even for creators, love blinds them. Why else would the author get swept up in the characters' romance?
I'm wronged. I'm so wronged I'm going insane. I have to vent this somehow.
"Gasp... Young Master Kael?"
Someone spoke cautiously.
Kael?
Not my name. I ignored it.
"My goodness! Young Master Kael! You've awakened!"
But it was too loud to ignore, so my gaze drifted sideways.
My expression froze.
The room had only me and one woman. Judging by her clothes... a maid?
"Who are you?"
"Young Master?"
"Young... Master?"
Come to think of it, my voice sounded off too. Like an arrogant rich kid right before puberty hits.
Arrogant, aggressive, unnecessarily handsome, the kind that'd tsun-tsun at the heroine. That voice.
Why so detailed? Because...
"Wait... Kael?"
Holy shit...
The moment I realized my situation, Kael Lotus's memories flooded my brain.
Looks like I'd possessed a character from that tag-scamming novel.