Chapter 76
Chapter 76
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 76
Chapter Title: Resurrection (4)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The number one thing you absolutely shouldn't do at a funeral is resurrect, and all hell broke loose.
Today was the official day of the funeral, so the old Church forces had been completely crushed.
The followers had flocked to the funeral hall en masse, all eyeing the new power structure.
But then I resurrect right in front of them?
Of course the place flipped upside down.
“It's... it's the Apostle of God!”
“Goddess... have mercy on poor Yahweh...”
“Long live! Long live! Long live!”
“Haaaah... Goddess!”
What's the ultimate goal of any religion?
Eternal life, the one thing never missing from any prayer.
Even though I'm not actually living forever, the moment I performed a miracle on par with eternal life, to them I was the Apostle of God.
“Mm...”
The women, who had first been shocked by my resurrection, soon calmed down amid the followers' frenzy and dragged me away first.
“Ahh! Savior!”
“Over here! Just one look this way!”
They must have seen priests perform miracles now and then, so they had some tolerance for it, yet the followers were going wild over one resurrection.
“What do we do?”
It wasn't a negative reaction toward us.
But the excessive praise was overwhelming.
That's why we gathered deep in the Church, whispering seriously with grave faces.
The only one not deeply tied to the Church, the elf Vine, was the picture of calm.
“Why the long faces?”
“You're an elf, so you wouldn't get it, but resurrection is a huge deal in the Church of the Goddess. We can't just brush it off.”
“Whatever, we just keep doing what we've been doing, right?”
'What we've been doing?'
Hearing Vine's words, I reviewed my recent days one by one.
And finally understood what she meant.
“Run away?”
“Bingo!”
If we just vanished, the Church would plunge into massive chaos.
But this revolution wasn't just our party.
I sat in a chair, staring openly at Canni sighing in relief—she'd nearly died herself when I was on the brink.
She'd shown the strongest will for the revolution, so she must have plans ready for running the Church afterward.
No way she'd plot a revolution without thinking about the aftermath.
“Alright, we're out!”
“Let's go!”
Trusting Canni's preparedness, I decided to escape the Church.
My slave Canni could handle it just fine.
“Y-Yes...? Y-Yes...?”
Canni jumped up in panic.
“Why?”
“Y-You're really leaving?”
“Hero party's gotta go demon king hunting.”
A hero party exists to slay the demon king.
I stated the obvious.
“B-But I'm coming too, right? Right? Master won't abandon me?”
Canni, lacking confidence to argue against the hero party logic, subtly tried to tag along.
I grabbed her shoulder.
“The journey to slay the demon king is too dangerous. I can't put you in that kind of peril.”
“B-But hero parties need a saintess.”
That's when Rainy stepped in.
“I'm here, aren't I?”
“W-Well... true...”
“No worries, junior. I'll handle the dangerous hero party stuff. You guard this Church.”
Rainy, who had been looking at her junior Canni fondly, bared her teeth at this rival trying to steal her saintess spot in the hero party.
Canni, who revered Rainy, couldn't defy her.
“Y-Yes... I'll guard the Church...”
Her tearful escape attempt failed.
Too bad, but what could she do?
The world runs on seniority.
If it bugs her, she should've become saintess before Rainy.
***
The followers searching for me were getting out of hand, so our hero party took a day to rest and regroup before preparing to leave immediately.
“Waaah... there's too many...”
Canni, who achieved her dream of Church revolution, was inexplicably buried in paperwork despite fulfilling her dream, making a miserable face.
I meant to scold her for whining.
“...”
But seeing the stacks of documents piled high on both sides of the saintess's office, I quietly shut up.
The corruption ran so deep that they were overhauling most systems from scratch, hence the mountain of work.
'Hmm... interrupting work would be rude.'
I patted the head of Canni, swimming through the document sea.
“Hey.”
“Y-Yes...”
“We're heading out now?”
“...”
Maybe after a few days of bonding, Canni looked genuinely reluctant before toddling over to me.
Curious what she'd do—since she couldn't harm me anyway—I watched quietly.
Canni placed her hand on my heart and closed her eyes.
Woooong.
I flinched at her hand on my vital organ.
But I trusted she wouldn't hurt me.
Warm energy flowed gently from her soft hand.
The holy power approached my heart cautiously, without a hint of aggression, and enveloped it.
“What'd you do?”
I'd spent enough time with Rainy to know most saintess techniques—and could even use them myself.
Yet Canni used something I'd never seen.
It felt beneficial, not harmful...
“Tried my ultimate move.”
“...Ultimate move?”
“Yeah, one I made up, so only I can use it in the world.”
Fair enough—I made Heavenly Demon Death Beam as my ultimate, so why not her.
“What's the effect?”
“If the linked target faces a life crisis, I can share some of my life force.”
“...Why use something like that on me...?”
“I was saving it for my husband when I married, but since I'm your slave now, marriage is off the table anyway.”
“...Sorry about that.”
“No other man for me now, so I'm using my 'husband skill' on you, my lifeline.”
With that, Canni patted my shoulder.
“So, don't die.”
Leaving that brief plea, she dove back into the document ocean.
Guess that's Canni's way of cheering.
Feeling a bit floaty, I pretended to focus on papers while gently stroking the nape of her neck as she peeked at me.
“Higyaaah!”
Her nape was a weak spot; she flinched and curled up.
I teased her playfully.
“Yep, your hubby'll come back safe, so stay healthy.”
“W-Wait, why are you my hubby?”
“You said it was for your future husband, but you used it on me, so I'm him.”
“That... doesn't make any...!”
“Heh heh, honey? How many kids we having?”
Pwaak.
Canni, cheeks flaming red amid paperwork, hurled her cherished pillow at me from her arms.
I could've dodged easily, but figured dodging would just rile her more, so I took the pillow hit meekly.
“I-It wasn't 'cause I like you! Don't get the wrong idea!”
“Oh...”
I applauded her classic 2010s tsundere display.
“Why the sudden clapping! Ugh, I hate you!”
“100 points, 100 points.”
“Get out!”
***
Buoyed by the intense send-off, I recharged and left the Church, site of so many incidents.
The hero party members waited out front, fully geared up.
They must've raided the Church treasury—everyone's equipment sparkled.
“Raden! Check this out! Awesome, right?”
Rainy proudly swung a staff topped with a sapphire bigger than her face.
“Whoa, finally switching to holy knight?”
“Huh?”
“Gonna bash heads with that?”
“Wanna be first?”
Rainy grinned, taking it as a joke, but I was serious.
No rule says saintesses can't swing tomes like lawyers in court.
“Look at mine!”
Laura proudly showed off her spoils too.
Unusually, she twirled a gleaming golden whip.
No idea how a mage planned to use it, but whatever.
Happy is good.
Marei and Daisy, true to swordswoman form, picked shining famed blades.
Thinking about it, unlike otherworld hero parties armed baseline with holy swords, ours just carried plain ones.
I'd pondered seeking dwarves, saving them from evil dragons for custom gear per hero party trope.
But cracking the Church vault solved it all.
To our party, the Church was a golden goblin.
Vine farmed a hairpin boosting spirit affinity; Yumi got a dagger with infinite poison refills.
Both top-tier for hero party members.
I beamed at my party, decked in blingy gear.
“So, where's mine?”
“...”
The women averted their eyes in unison.
Too busy grabbing their own, they'd blanked on me entirely.
These naughty girls.