Chapter 74
Chapter 74
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 74
Chapter Title: Resurrection (2)
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I was taken aback by the Demon God's sudden appearance, but I kept my cool and acted unfazed.
That skullhead could snap his fingers like Thanos right now and turn my body to dust.
But I trusted the Goddess!
She needed me so badly that she'd even tried to save me when I was basically a vegetable.
On top of that, according to what Rainy had told me, the Demon God and the Goddess were bitter exes who'd fought and divorced.
Just to spite the Demon God, she'd protect me with everything she had.
“Nice to meet you.”
That's why I greeted him boldly, without a hint of fear.
I didn't want to piss him off too much, so I stuck to polite speech instead of getting casual.
“Huh... I could tell just from watching you, but you're a real lunatic.”
“Uh... a compliment? Thank you.”
“At least this hag picked one hero right.”
The Demon God clicked his tongue at me, then strode toward the Goddess like he was getting down to business.
A faint flicker of unease showed in her eyes, but she kept up her venomous scowl.
Shameless as ever, the Demon God just plopped down in front of her.
“Hey, is this for real?”
“What's the issue?”
“We agreed not to meddle with the mortal world unless it's unavoidable.”
“I haven't meddled much. My daughters down there are just so damn capable, they're pulling off the impossible. All I'm doing is giving the okay.”
“Haa...”
The Goddess's brazen attitude had the Demon God's face twisting up like he was stressing hard.
“Hey.”
“Don't 'hey' me.”
“Then what? Nina? Should I call you Nina for old times' sake?”
Kwarung! Kwarurung!
A massive bolt of lightning crashed down, shaking the heavens—clear sign her emotions were in turmoil.
'Fuck...'
Keep your lovers' quarrel between yourselves.
Stuck like a shrimp between whales, I hunched down, trembling.
“Don't. Say. That name.”
“Still pissed about it?”
“Shut up.”
“Come on, hear me out! I'm bones now! Bones! How the hell was I supposed to do anything with you?”
“I don't know... You should've figured it out.”
“Agh... Back when I was alive, I tried so hard I nearly died!”
“That's been thousands of years ago. An abnormal sex life is grounds for divorce, plain and simple.”
“...”
“Baldness is too.”
Frustrated, the Demon God thumped his own ribcage.
'Hmm...'
He didn't seem to notice, but after spending so much time around women, my sharpened instincts picked up on something.
'The Goddess still likes the Demon God...?'
Even as she griped and vented her grudges at him, I caught a glimmer of affection in her eyes.
'Time to change plans.'
I'd been thinking they were mortal enemies, planning to trash the Demon God to win her favor.
But now? Scratch that.
It's like how a wife rags on her husband all the time, but flips out if someone else badmouths him.
Only she gets to diss him.
With that in mind, I slyly stepped between them.
A mere human boldly inserting himself between two mighty gods.
Probably the first in history, I figured, as I sidled up to the more friendly one first—the Goddess.
“What is it? Don't butt in.”
She grumbled, but from what I'd overheard, these two were childhood sweethearts from their mortal days, and after thousands of years, they'd stayed monogamous—true endgame pure love.
As someone who aimed for pure love myself, I figured I'd help smooth things over for this couple.
I leaned in and whispered in the Goddess's ear.
“Um, could you put up a sound barrier for a sec? Keep it from leaking out?”
She shot me a distrustful look but threw up an invisible curtain around us anyway.
Since she'd cast it herself, even the Demon God couldn't eavesdrop easily.
“Goddess.”
“Yes.”
“You know I'm an expert on relationships, right?”
“A virgin like you...?”
“Hey now... Sure, I haven't dated, but you know I've got girls crushing on me left and right.”
“...Are you bragging about your love life?”
“Nah... I just spotted something with my expert eye and wanted to lend a hand.”
“What? What are you two whispering about?”
The Demon God yelled, his face tinged with unease as we murmured.
Huh, even acting like he hated her, he got antsy seeing another guy whispering to her.
Thousands of years of pure love—impressive. To ease his anxiety, I stepped back a bit.
I respect pure love.
I honor couples with beautiful romance.
Anyway, with some distance, I picked up where I left off.
“My expert scan turned up some juicy intel.”
“Like what?”
“The Demon God is totally head over heels for you.”
“...Pardon...?”
She tried to play it cool, but couldn't stop the tiniest smile tugging at her lips.
“He barged into your domain and wrecked the place, right?”
“...Yeah.”
The mood dipped a little.
Guess calling it “wrecking” rubbed her wrong.
I hurried to flip it.
“In my view, he did it because he missed your face so much.”
“...!”
“Like how little boys pull pranks on their crushes to get attention.”
“Y-Yeah...”
“I bet the Demon God charged in here for the same reason. If he really hated my resurrection, he could've griped some other way.”
She was already sold, nodding eagerly.
“So why risk coming all the way to your dangerous turf?”
“...!”
“It's because he missed you so damn much he couldn't help it.”
“T-That makes sense...”
“You're a big-hearted woman, right?”
“Y-Yeah...”
“How about forgiving him this once? Showing some magnanimity? Loving you isn't a crime.”
“True...”
She was fully convinced now, nodding nonstop.
Watching her, a thought popped into my head.
'If I get them fully reconciled like this, does that mean no Hero vs. Demon King showdown?'
I pictured it: them miraculously making up, and naturally, the Demon King and Hero teaming up.
Sure, with our current forces, we could take the Demon King easy.
But isn't winning without fighting the mark of a true master?
“Alright, guess I should be nicer to him. Can't help it if even Lucas says so, hehe.”
“Please be kind to the bald guy...”
“Haha, will do!”
I'd already clocked from the Nania incident that she actually enjoyed teasing him about being bald or impotent.
A quick joke satisfied her, so I hustled over to the Demon God.
“What...”
He scowled like he'd eaten shit, clearly wary.
Unlike the pure-hearted Goddess, he didn't trust easily.
I flashed a smooth grin and sidled up.
“Demon God... mind putting up a barrier for a sec...?”
“...Fine.”
He seemed curious enough to oblige with a soundproof field.
Barrier up, I went straight for the pitch.
“You know I'm a love doctor, right?”
“...Figured the Hero was some crazy playboy.”
“Ahem... Anyway, my love radar picked up something fascinating I wanna share.”
“What is it...?”
“The Goddess is totally crazy about you.”
The Demon God froze.
He played it off quick, but I caught that split-second reaction.
“See her looking at you earlier?”
“G-Glurgh...?”
“Affection dripping off her like honey. She really, really loves you.”
“Y-Yeah?”
“Think about it. That gaze. Her, dripping pure sweetness!”
I hammered it home like brainwashing.
“Definitely feels that way...?”
“Spot on! No fooling an expert's eye.”
“Hmm... Credible...”
Probably some exaggeration brewing in his head about her recent glance.
“You two have been together a long time.”
“3,212 years, 11 months, 12 days, 23 hours.”
“Uh... wow!”
“Thanks.”
“No wonder you stayed devoted that whole time. The love in her eyes...”
“Hmm...”
The Demon God scratched his gleaming skull and spoke.
“But why's she acting so prickly?”
I grinned.
“Do you know what a tsundere is?”