Not a Request — Something I Do Myself (1)

The status window, which had popped up alongside that grating little jingle, was only now displaying the message. Flora had been right beside me, but apparently the event hadn't been triggered by me at all.

"I don't think I need to say much, given how long you've been standing here watching, but Flora waited for you for ages too. Even at mealtimes, all she did was watch for when you'd come home. I told her not to wait out here and to come inside, and she refused. Do you understand now? Do you have any idea how Flora felt?"

Arina spoke as though she were delivering a lecture, scolding me like a misbehaving child.

'Do I know how Flora felt?'

Hearing those words, I quietly relaxed, and then relaxed again.

'Yes. This is how it should be. This is what feels familiar.'

This was what my family had always been, wasn't it? Never treated as family. Never allowed to stand on equal footing in this house. Nothing more than a stray child taken in off the street, a boy who didn't share a single drop of blood. That was the exact distance I could expect. I wasn't usually the type to think like this, but for this one moment, Arina was almost a welcome sight — it was always the eldest who sharpened the vigilance I'd let dull.

"And while I'm at it, let me say one more thing. Stop holding grudges and just let this go. Flora has been tearing herself up inside ever since she was barred from the tribunal — she can barely even eat. So—"

I wondered what would come out of her mouth next. And predictably enough, Arina said exactly the same thing the eldest back home used to say.

"Don't be too hard on your little sister. Just let it go graciously. Understood?"

— Don't be too hard on your little sister. Just let it go graciously. Understood?

At this point, all I could do was marvel. How could she produce those exact words, without a single syllable different?

Back when it came out that the housekeeper had been stealing my allowance, and the youngest ended up unable to even properly face me after I was carried off — those very words had come out of my real-world eldest sister's mouth, word for word. It was me who was being told to show generosity to my own sibling and move on. Just like right now.

'I really should thank her.'

Thanks to her, the wariness that had gone soft came roaring back to life. And that trivial little question of why Flora was here in the first place vanished without a trace.

With ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠perfect indifference. With the same dismissive air I'd always carried, I answered the eldest, whose face was twisted in open displeasure.

"Whether she waits for me or not, what does that have to do with me?"

Just like that bitch of an eldest had done back then, Arina's expression contorted in an instant.

"Karsein. What on earth is that supposed to mean? Your little sister waited for you until this hour, and you're telling me that's none of your business?"

Arina, her intimacy down to a single percent, demanded in a fury. You know perfectly well. Why even ask?

"Yeah."

I answered with a shrug. Her intimacy would have to drop further before I could leave, after all. At that, the corners of Arina's eyes twitched and flinched right in front of me. Watching my eldest sister's gaze turn razor-sharp, the air itself seemed to freeze over.

Still. Some things had to be said.

"I never asked Flora to wait for me. And now you're talking like her being here is my fault?"

"Karsein."

"And at the tribunal, too — I was just thinking reasonably. Emma is Flora's wet nurse. What if she'd taken sides?"

"Karsein Bagran—!"

Arina, about to shout my name, hastily lowered her voice. She must have worried that Flora might wake. Breathing out hot, furious air, she tried to smother her rage.

"Enough with the attitude. How can you treat your own sister this way...! Flora was genuinely worried about you. That's why she's been waiting all this time!"

Well. I suppose you can only ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠say that because you don't know. It was Flora who refused to grant Karsein anything — not then, not ever after — who gritted her teeth and dug in her heels at every turn. And now I'm supposed to cut her slack because she's my sister, while the rest of you who never once treated me as family get to tell me to just move on?

It was laughable. Truly.

"Don't. I don't need that kind of worry."

"You little—!"

"Catch a cold or don't, it's your problem. It's none of my concern."

Arina's teeth ground together until something nearly cracked. In the end, she couldn't hold it in.

"You...! You really never change. You can't even understand your own sister's heart, and you just turn your back on her like it's nothing...!"

"Fine. I see now that even that authority was too much for you. I was a fool to think you'd changed even a little and consider bringing you to the Eastern Noble Conference."

"That commoner-stained authority of yours, I'll reclaim with my own hands. I hereby strip you of your right to attend the Eastern Noble Conference, effective ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠this moment. Even if I have to answer to Mother for this, I will never retract it!"

Arina's voice rang out at full volume —

"Mmm...? Big sister?"

— and at that very moment, the sleeping Flora stirred awake.

"I-I'm sorry, Flora. I raised my voice, didn't I?"

"Mm. It's fine... more importantly, what's going on? Why are you here... Ah."

Flora, rubbing the sleep from her bleary eyes, went rigid as stone the instant our gazes met. She immediately averted her eyes, fidgeted, and burrowed into Arina's arms — sleep clearly driven clean out of her.

Right then.

An object on my right began to glow with a bright light.

'...A Memorial?'

That was the potted plant Karsein had once brought back from outside, if I recalled. Whenever you cleared one of the main episodes, this was what you got. Given that I'd already pulled the main episode forward, it made perfect sense for it to be visible now.

But then—

-Whoosh!

Apparently there'd be no need to carry it out with me when I left. The Memorial glowed on its own once again, unveiling Karsein's past.

The view flickered. This Memorial's setting was the ducal residence itself.

Karsein appeared at the entrance of the mansion. His condition, as always, was far from normal. Caked head to toe in dirt and dust — the kind of state you might get just from rolling around at the training grounds — but there were visible marks of having been struck, here and there. His skin had been torn open by something sharp and was bleeding, though the wounds weren't deep. Instead, bruises from something thrown at him from a distance stood out. Even at a glance, those dark welts were everywhere, and every one of them looked freshly made.

In that state, Karsein stepped into the ducal residence.

"Y-Young Master! What on earth happened to you...?!"

Shayden recoiled in shock, then hurried forward to catch the swaying young man.

"...I ran into bandits."

"Young Master..."

Bandits, of all things. Wasn't that an obvious lie?

Shayden could vaguely tell that Karsein had offered up an excuse. These injuries were from being pelted with stones and struck with farming tools — hardly what you'd expect from bandits' weapons. And going by the rumors drifting through the estate lately, this was clearly the work of the Shatren people. If he and Heron reported this to the Madam right away, the villagers would face harsh punishment.

The only reason he didn't press further was that he could sense it — Karsein had no desire to reveal who had actually done this to him.

"Let's treat your wounds first, Young Master."

"No. I have something to do right now... Ugh."

"You can barely stand, and you have something to do?"

"It's really urgent."

Left with no choice, Shayden had to put off treating him.

"If it's that urgent, wouldn't it be better to inform the Madam?"

"Not Mother. Absolutely not."

"Pardon?"

"Never. Absolutely never. If Mother found out about this..."

Karsein shook his head violently, as though that above all else could not be allowed. Instead, he searched for someone else.

"Do you know where Claire... no, where Arina is?"

Rather than the head of the ducal house, who was losing her mind, Karsein sought out Arina. At those words, Shayden turned his head. After all, there was no need to look for Arina — she was already on her way.

"And why, in that state, would you be looking for me? Karsein."

Arina spat the words at him, her face a picture of disgust. But for Karsein, right now, whether Arina sneered at him or not was the least of his problems.

"The people of Shatren drove me out. Just one more day — let me come and go for just one more day."

"Ha."

Arina clicked her tongue, as though she'd heard something utterly absurd.

"You want to set foot again in the territory you ruined with your own hands? After causing a disaster that enormous yourself?"

"It doesn't matter what you call it right now. Just one more day...!"

Snaaap—!

The unpleasant sound of skin on skin dropped the entrance into dead silence. In a voice colder than it had ever been, Arina let a curse pass her lips.

"That mouth. Shut it, Karsein."

"..."

"Countless villagers have been consumed by rage because of you. Their livelihoods were shaken by your stubbornness, your tantrums. And even now, you want to enter Shatren?"

Karsein looked up at Arina with hollow eyes. Deep within that bruised-blue gaze, he could feel a thick contempt and revulsion.

"As I thought ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠— Mother never should have brought home something like you."

A cold dagger sank in. A cruel, frost-hearted remark. Shayden nearly stepped in, uneasy — but perhaps that wasn't enough for her, because Arina added one more line.

"Know your place. Your role in the Eastern Noble Conference is not that of a proper noble watching over the villagers — you're closer to a child who needs to learn to crawl before he can walk. Someone who learned nothing and only caused harm."

You shouldn't do anything at all.

That was what she meant. And then Karsein, trembling, reached out and seized the ankle of Arina as she turned to leave.

"What do you think you're—!"

"It doesn't matter! None of that matters right now!"

"What?"

"Whether I'm some fool who never learned properly, whether I'm a child who needs to learn to crawl, whether they call me a commoner and no noble at all — none of it matters. Just one thing. Bring this one thing to the territory for me!"

With hands caked thick in dirt and dust, Karsein held out a single potted plant to Arina. It was the one he'd treasured and carried all the way from the territory, even while the villagers beat him.

And yet —

Arina callously flung it away.

-Crash!

The shattered pot littered the floor in pieces.

"You're banned from Shatren from this day forward. Go back to your room and reflect on yourself. And don't come begging me to deliver your trash."

The click of Arina's heels echoed through the hall. Watching warily as the sound of her footsteps receded, Shayden decided this was the moment and approached Karsein, who had collapsed where he stood.

"Young Master. You should return to your room for now...?"

"Shayden. Could you... get me another potted plant?"

"...That's not difficult, but where do you intend to put it?"

"I can't take it to Shatren... so I'll keep it here. If — if the villagers ever come here — they might recognize it."

And what will Lady Arina say about that?

Those words, Shayden could not bring himself to say. Karsein's eyes, seized by something, remained fixed on the potted plant.

"..."

Karsein, clutching that potted plant as a clue, trying desperately to convey something — and Arina, who had mercilessly trampled his plea into the dirt. With this, I'd uncovered yet another piece of the boy's miserable past.

And at the same time, my own miserable past had come to light. The me who had steeled my resolve and started drafting my escape plan. The eldest who had looked at that me like I was garbage. Even when my so-called family offered to help, I'd never been allowed to so much as put my own opinion on the table.

Right. In the end, the very act of asking was the mistake. It couldn't be a request. I had to do it myself.

When the Memorial ended, I picked up the potted plant without a word and spoke to Arina.

"That authority of yours. Take it, then. Do whatever you want with it."

"You...!"

"Authority...? You're taking it away? Unni, what does that mean?"

When Flora tilted her head and asked, Arina faltered and mumbled an evasive reply.

"It's nothing you need to know, Flora. It's not that important..."

"Right. It isn't important at all. As someone said — I'm a commoner, after all."

"...!"

"W-what are you saying? You're not a commoner, you're—"

"No. I am one. In the past, in the present — and I'll be one far into the future, too."

Leaving Flora, gaping and unable to say a word, and Arina, still bristling with hostility, behind me, I turned away. But the direction I was walking was not the ducal mansion.

It was the Training Grounds.