The Reason I Lived So Hard
Fortunately, the rain had stopped by the next morning.
When he headed over to Min-hyuk's place by ten, they were already ready and came down right on time. He picked up Min-hyuk, who greeted him cheerfully, and A-reum, who approached with shy little steps, and the three of them set off for the furniture store.
"There are so many beds~!"
Following the salesperson, they found beds of every kind on display. The prices varied wildly, from a few hundred thousand won all the way up into the millions. The salesperson walked them through the designs, the comfort features, and how well each one slept, laying out the pros and cons of every model. Min-hyuk and A-reum listened carefully—and so did Seong-min.
After that, they carefully chose two beds. Both ran a little over a million won, but the designs were solid and the overall feel was comfortable and unfussy. According to the salesperson, they were among the popular models these days, so they seemed to have a following.
They signed the contract. Delivery was available even on Sundays, the salesperson said, and they could have the beds there by noon. Naturally Min-hyuk and A-reum agreed. They both had to work on weekdays, so their time at home was limited—if Sunday delivery was possible, of course that was the day to do it.
Once the paperwork was done, the three of them left the salesperson with a goodbye and had lunch at a nearby samgyetang place. They hadn't managed to eat ginseng chicken soup even during the early and middle dog days of summer, so they were making sure to have it today at least.
"Finally Noona and I are getting beds too~!"
"That happy about it?"
"Of course~! Ever since I was a kid I've been so jealous of houses—and kids—who had beds~! And now that dream is actually coming true!"
Watching Min-hyuk's reaction, Seong-min finally understood why he'd wanted beds before a car. Looking at how excited and giddy he was, he really must have envied kids who had them. Being able to finally make that childhood longing real was bound to leave a person proud.
"Noona's happy too, right?"
"Yeah... I'm... happy we have... beds now."
"A-reum Noona, you'll be able to sleep comfortably now, right?"
"...Yes...."
"Noona, whenever Hyung Seong-min talks to you, your voice gets all quiet... Even though you're closer now... Heh heh!"
"Ah... N-no!... I... didn't..."
The flustered, panicking look was just adorable to both Seong-min and Min-hyuk. Seong-min had been noticing that A-reum Noona seemed to have gotten even shyer since they'd become a couple.
For A-reum Noona, everything must be a first—and thrilling...
A-reum Noona had said she'd never dated a guy, never even been in love. According to Min-hyuk, Hyung was the first man Noona had ever shown interest in—so watching from the side was fun and fascinating, he claimed. To Seong-min, this A-reum Noona looked cute and pure. And he understood how she felt.
I was the same way looking at the class president...
After the whole Dongbaek mess, as time passed, Seong-min had come to realize on his own that the way he looked at the class president—and the way he felt about her—had changed. His feelings toward her. The girl who'd meddled and shown interest in him in a way that could easily be called nosy. That interest and meddling had also been her way of shielding him from Jun-min and the kids who bullied him. The reason his indifferent, blunt self had managed even a little enjoyment out of school life was because of the class president.
I didn't know back then...
Just when she came near, his chest would tremble and his heart would race. Strangely, even when he went to bed her face would surface, and he'd remember the moment they'd held hands and headed for the snack shop. Seong-min hadn't known those were feelings of liking her. He'd been far too young—third grade of elementary school. And at that age, liking someone was also something to be embarrassed about. Kids loved to tease you over it. So the way he'd snapped back hard at Jun-min's words on the class president's birthday had been surprising even to himself.
"Samgyetang's here!"
Min-hyuk's shout pulled Seong-min out of his thoughts. A bubbling earthenware pot of samgyetang was set in front of each of them.
"Whoa... Looks delicious... How long has it been since we had samgyetang~!"
Just looking at Min-hyuk rubbing his hands and smacking his lips, you could tell his appetite was kicking in. Probably because of the beds. Seong-min turned his head toward A-reum. She'd been staring blankly at her soup, then seemed to sense his gaze and lifted her head. When their eyes met, Seong-min smiled.
"Eat plenty... A-reum Noona."
A-reum flushed and lowered her head.
"...Okay..."
She answered in a small voice.
I used to be like that too.
When he'd realized he liked the class president, he hadn't found it easy to look her straight in the eye either. Every word she said to him, every smile, every look in her eyes made his heart pound.
Maybe through A-reum Noona, I'm seeing the feelings I had as a kid.
To A-reum Noona, he was her first love.
They enjoyed the samgyetang, and afterward had a cup of coffee at a café as well. Mostly it was Min-hyuk chattering away excitedly, with Seong-min answering now and then. A-reum Noona listened, sometimes smiling, sometimes getting shy. It was truly a peaceful stretch of weekend.
After dropping Min-hyuk and A-reum off at home and coming back, Hye-sook welcomed him warmly. Since he'd already eaten dinner, she didn't bother setting anything out. Seong-min hadn't come home empty-handed—he'd stopped by a nearby café and bought two iced Americanos and a cheesecake. Sitting on the sofa with the iced Americano and cheesecake, the sweet taste was good.
"Here..."
Hye-sook held something out. It was the lucky charm Seong-min had given her.
"It's been laminated?"
"I saw the color had faded, and if I left it any longer it looked like it would fall apart... If it's something precious, you have to take measures so it doesn't get damaged any further..."
Seong-min felt grateful for Aunt Hye-sook's consideration.
"I was a bit shortsighted..."
"You wouldn't have had the leisure to think that far... Seong-min, you took on debt from co-signing and have been living life so fiercely..."
Even so, he thought that in these kinds of things Aunt was still more meticulous than he was.
"Did you pick out good beds?"
Hye-sook asked after cutting off a piece of cake with her fork and eating it. Seong-min nodded yes.
"They said they could deliver by noon tomorrow, so we went with that."
"Good job~ On weekdays Min-hyuk works, and A-reum has her job too, right?"
"That's why they agreed right away."
Seong-min told her about not just the furniture store, but the café and the pleasant time they'd spent.
"A-reum must really like you a lot, Seong-min..."
"A-reum Noona?"
"Yeah. Getting that shy and reacting like that... means she likes you that much."
"That's true for sure. For A-reum Noona... I'm her first love."
"First love..."
At the words first love, Hye-sook's expression grew distant.
"You have first-love memories too, right, Aunt?"
"Of course... He was a friend from my hometown... A really sharp, cool guy. Later we both moved and ended up in different areas, so it just ended..."
"I see..."
"But in the end, we met again."
"You met again?"
"Yeah... My first love—no, the oppa I liked—turned out to be a senior at my university."
"So you met again when you went to college?"
Seong-min looked at her with open surprise, and Hye-sook nodded.
"That's right. I was surprised, and so was he."
"What happened after that?"
Seong-min took a sip of Americano through the straw and looked at her curiously.
"We got close again and spent time together, and it developed into a relationship... And then..."
"And then...?"
"It became this."
Hye-sook raised her left hand. On the fourth finger, a wedding ring sat.
"Wait—so Uncle was your first love, Aunt?"
"Yeah, that's right."
"That's amazing."
Seong-min genuinely looked surprised.
"I was truly happy... After having Seong-jun, I thought this happiness would last forever... But later he battled cancer and passed away."
By the time the pancreatic cancer was discovered, it was already too late. And so Hye-sook's first love and husband had left this world.
"Now I understand."
"Understand what?"
"Why you stayed away from men for so long and kept your chastity."
"That's right... For me, there was only my husband—only Oppa. I never even thought about other men. That... got broken because of you, Seong-min."
"I feel kind of bad now...?"
"You don't have to feel bad..."
Because I'm the one who should apologize.
When her life ran out—when she left this world and went to the afterlife—if she met Oppa again, Hye-sook intended to convey her heart fully. And she would apologize.
"About A-reum..."
Hye-sook thought of what she'd heard about A-reum from Seong-min.
"Right now she's feeling happier and more thrilled than ever. So... Seong-min, make sure you don't hurt those feelings. Don't feel too sorry toward me... Got it?"
Aunt...
In Hye-sook's words, Seong-min could truly feel her heart looking out for A-reum Noona. Hye-sook knew now too—that A-reum wasn't an ordinary girl. And about the first-love feelings A-reum held as well.
"But that doesn't mean you can neglect me too much, okay? I'll get sad."
"Of course not~ I have no intention of letting you go tonight either. Hehehe..."
"Hohoho~ Can I look forward to it?"
"Yes ma'am~!"
Hye-sook smiled. Even if she couldn't become Seong-min's girlfriend, just maintaining this kind of man-and-woman relationship was more than enough satisfaction. Wanting more than that would be greed.