The Reason I Lived So Hard
Living each day with everything he had made work go remarkably well.
He leveled up. He raised his stats. And his efficiency climbed right along with them.
The teammates who worked alongside him watched him grow by the day, and their surprise soon turned into determination not to fall behind. They were supposed to be the seasoned veterans, after all—they could not afford to look like they were lagging behind him.
So they quit the drinks they loved, trained hard, and even signed up at the neighborhood gym. Building stamina to raise their own efficiency, they said. Before long the whole team’s atmosphere had shifted toward something that refused to settle for “good enough” and kept pushing for more.
Min-hyeok was no different. Just like the others, he bought a gym membership and threw himself into training, driven by the simple will to chase after his hyung even if he could never quite catch him.
These days, even one Gombang Work job a day was enough to keep things flowing smoothly. At first, landing a single job a week had been considered a success—things had been that tight. But now it was different. One job a day was the baseline, and two jobs coming in was common.
They no longer limited themselves to Seoul; they expanded into Gyeonggi Province, sometimes taking overnight trips. On those runs they would finish one job in the afternoon, knock out two more the next day, and head home. Seong-min usually walked away with about 1.3 million won; the rest of the team took home around a million each.
Lately they averaged five workdays a week, which meant weekly pay of two to three million won. Monthly, that worked out to eight hundred thousand to 1.2 million won in income.
It was impressive. A genuinely large sum.
Right now Seong-min had enough money that, if he simply decided to, he could wipe out the rest of his debt in a single stroke. Of course he was still paying it down steadily at three hundred thousand won a month, so the balance kept shrinking either way.
Hye-suk had tried to refuse the hundred-fifty-thousand-won room rent. Seong-min paid it every month anyway. It was simply the right thing to do.
Today he finished two jobs—three hundred fifty thousand in the morning, four hundred thousand in the afternoon—and walked away with a daily total of seven hundred fifty thousand won.
After the usual “good work” and goodbyes, Min-hyeok climbed into the passenger seat of Seong-min’s car. They were heading home from Bucheon.
“Hyung.”
“What?”
“I told you I bought a sofa a little while ago, right?”
“Yeah, and?”
“While I was at it I figured a decent-sized TV in the living room would be nice, so I picked up a forty-inch set too.”
“You bought a TV as well?”
This was the first Seong-min had heard of it.
“Wasn’t one already included with the place?”
“I moved that one into Noona’s room.”
“So?”
“The delivery guys came yesterday and installed it. Man… I thought, so this is what YOLO-flex living feels like.”
“Calling that YOLO is a bit much…”
Seong-min let out a short laugh.
“Haha… yeah, maybe a little.”
Min-hyeok looked sheepish and laughed too. But Seong-min knew exactly how Min-hyeok and A-reum noona had been living until now, so he understood completely.
They talked the whole way back. By the time they reached Seoul and neared Min-hyeok’s place, it was already past seven and the streets had gone dark.
“Hyung, since we were talking about it, why don’t you stop by the house for a bit?”
“Your place?”
“Yeah~ Sit on the sofa, check out the new TV!”
“You planned this, didn’t you?”
“Huh? Planned what?”
Even as he played dumb, Min-hyeok was grinning.
“Fine, I’ll bite.”
Seong-min chuckled and turned slowly into the alley instead of staying on the shoulder. He eased the car into the parking space on the first floor of the villa.
“Hyung, when we go up it’s not just the sofa and TV waiting.”
“What else is there?”
“Noona, heh…”
“You having fun teasing me?”
Seong-min gave a wry smile and killed the engine. Ever since that day, Min-hyeok had taken to tossing these mischievous little jabs at Seong-min and A-reum. Seong-min stepped out of the driver’s seat; Min-hyeok climbed out of the passenger side.
“When we get up let’s shower right away~ I’ll give you a free pass to use the shower booth!”
“I don’t need a free pass.”
“Huh? Then you won’t be able to shower.”
“I’ll just get one from A-reum noona.”
“Whoa! Using a cheat key is cheating!”
“Cheat key? It’s a skill, you punk. Heh heh…”
Seong-min opened the front door and headed up first; Min-hyeok followed.
“Hyung, how’d you know the front-door password? I never told you.”
“A-reum noona told me.”
“You’re just gonna keep using that cheat key, huh?!”
They rode the elevator to the fifth floor.
“Noona~ I’m home~!”
At Min-hyeok’s call, A-reum appeared. The apron and ladle in her hands made it clear she had been in the middle of preparing dinner.
“Min-hyeok… welcome home…”
She greeted him warmly, already aware he had not come alone.
“I’m here too, A-reum noona.”
“Seong-min… welcome…”
A-reum’s cheeks were faintly pink as she smiled and welcomed him. Min-hyeok snickered at the sight. They slipped off their shoes and stepped inside.
“Noona, what’s for dinner?”
“Braised hairtail… and tuna kimchi stew…”
“Hyung~ braised hairtail and tuna kimchi stew~~!”
“Sounds good.”
“Hyung can eat with us too, right?”
A-reum glanced at Seong-min once, then gave a shy little nod.
“Hyung, she says it’s okay, heh heh…”
While the table was being set, Min-hyeok’s consideration let Seong-min shower first. In the meantime Min-hyeok opened the fridge, took out side dishes, and portioned just enough onto plates.
“Feels good having Seong-min hyung over, doesn’t it?”
“Mm…”
“Our noona’s lucky now.”
A-reum looked at Min-hyeok.
“You’ve got a reliable man now…”
She kept her head straight and went back to stirring the stew. Min-hyeok knew full well she was embarrassed. Ever since that day he had understood that his noona and Seong-min hyung had become a couple. They had even gone for a drive and a date on the weekend before. More than anything, Min-hyeok had noticed how much more often his noona smiled these days.
It had all started after she met Seong-min hyung.
When Seong-min finished showering and came out, Min-hyeok went in next.
“So this is the sofa you bought?”
“…Yes…”
“It’s comfortable. Nice.”
Seong-min sat, leaned back, then picked up the remote and turned on the TV.
“The TV’s a new model too.”
“Min-hyeok and I… went together… and bought it…”
“Good choice. Picture quality’s excellent.”
He patted the empty spot beside him on the sofa.
“A-reum noona. Come sit here.”
A-reum, who had been watching him, walked over and carefully settled next to Seong-min.
“Sitting like this holding hands and watching TV… anyone would think we were a couple, right?”
The natural way he took her hand made A-reum’s cheeks flush even deeper than before.
“How about you, Noona…?”
“…Yes…?”
“Are you happy living through moments like this right now?”
A-reum blinked at him, then smiled.
“Yes… I’m happy…”
The smile that came with those words looked utterly pure. Seong-min found himself hoping A-reum noona could keep smiling just like this forever.
Maybe Ji-ah felt something similar from me that day?
She had said she smiled at the sight of the orphanage teacher who had taken in the little kitten. That image had looked pure in Ji-ah’s eyes.
“Seong-min… what… are you thinking about…?”
A-reum asked carefully when she noticed him lost in thought.
“Ah, nothing important.”
Seong-min smiled with his eyes and lifted the remote.
“Want to flip around and see if there’s anything fun on?”
A-reum nodded, and Seong-min started changing channels.
That dream’s got me thinking too much.
They sat on the sofa watching TV together. Not long after, the door opened and Min-hyeok came out, fresh from the shower.
“Huh? What are you two doing on the sofa?”
“What does it look like? Watching TV.”
“Watching TV while holding Noona’s hand tight?”
In that instant A-reum’s face went red.
“We’re not allowed to hold hands while we watch? Everyone does it.”
“Absolutely not~! What grown man and woman hold hands to watch TV? Only if they’re… you know… that kind of couple… heh heh…!”
Not just her face—her ears turned crimson too.
“Is that so? I had no idea.”
Instead of letting go, Seong-min interlaced their fingers and held on even more firmly, flustering A-reum further. Both Min-hyeok and Seong-min laughed, thoroughly enjoying her reaction.
The table was loaded with braised hairtail, tuna kimchi stew, fried eggs, and an assortment of side dishes—a full proper meal.
“Thanks for the food~!”
“Min-hyeok… eat a lot…”
“I’ll dig in too.”
“…Okay…”
More than a month had passed, yet A-reum noona was still so shy. That very quality only made her personality feel clearer and cuter to Seong-min.
The braised hairtail and tuna kimchi stew A-reum had made were delicious. He ended up eating two full bowls.
“So… hyung was saying…”
Min-hyeok chattered away excitedly while A-reum listened and smiled now and then.
“When did I ever say that?”
“Come on, hyung! Playing dumb?! If you do that, I’m the one who looks bad for bringing it up~~!”
These small, ordinary moments might look plain, but Seong-min knew perfectly well they were happiness.
“I’ll get going…”
“Seong-min… drive… carefully, okay?”
“I’ll be careful while thinking of you, Noona.”
He gave the shy A-reum a light kiss on the lips.
As he pulled out of the parking space and eased down the alley, he glanced in the rearview mirror and saw A-reum watching him from behind. Looking at her, Seong-min felt something clearly.
Even though she was older than him, A-reum noona still carried the pure heart of a child. That pure heart of hers—Seong-min wanted to protect it.
On the drive home the roads were pure rush-hour gridlock. Seoul traffic was always a mess, rush hour or not. Creeping forward and stopping, creeping and stopping through the congestion, Seong-min found his mind drifting back to an old memory.
It was the day the kitten left this world.
We had treated it and cared for it as best we could, but in the end the little kitten could not hold on and passed away. It was the first time I had ever watched a life die right in front of me. The grief that day was enormous, but the shock was just as large.
When we carefully placed the little kitten that had left us into a box and buried it, the class president was right beside me.
“I… heard something.”
I had been staring at the little grave we had made for the kitten. I turned my head and looked at her.
“I read it in a picture book once. It said there’s a world in the sky where animals go. And when cats die, they go to Cat Star.”
“Cat Star?”
“Yeah. When they get to Cat Star, the other cats who left this world first are living happily there… Haengboki will definitely meet other friends there and live happily too…”
I knew. It was only something from a picture book. The name we had given it—Haengboki, hoping it would grow up well and live happily—was just a wish. The class president was telling me that story to comfort a heart that had been crushed.
Then she pulled something from her pocket. It was one of those squeeze-tube treats for cats.
“This is called churu. Cats love it.”
With her small hands she set the cat treat in front of Haengboki’s grave.
“Seong-min, let’s pray so Haengboki can live well in the next world too… It’s offering a prayer for the dead… They say good energy goes to them then.”
She pressed her palms together and began to pray, then looked at me.
“Come on, Seong-min~”
I followed her and pressed my palms together.
“Please let Haengboki, who has gone to Cat Star, live happily in the next world…”
I repeated the words she spoke. That was how we offered a prayer for the poor little Haengboki who had left us so early.
After we said goodbye to Haengboki and came down from the hill behind the orphanage, on the way back she said,
“Haengboki… will understand too.”
When I looked at her, the class president smiled.
“That Seong-min thought about it a lot and tried to help… Haengboki definitely knows that.”
“You really think so?”
“Yeah! That’s what I think.”
My heart had been so heavy, yet her words gave me real comfort.
When the cars started moving again, Seong-min rolled forward with them.
That comfort was huge.
Haengboki’s death had left a deep wound. If they had not buried Haengboki together that day, if the class president had not stood beside him and offered comfort—he had already been a lonely child, and he might have sunk even deeper into the dark.
Looking back on those moments now, he could see it clearly.
They had a huge influence on why I live so hard these days.
And on the feelings he held toward A-reum noona as well.