The Link Between Memory and Existence
Originally, my memories of being possessed into another body in this world rather than my own were honestly unclear. While my memories of my previous life's body remained vivid, I didn't possess all of Felice's memories. Memory is a crucial element that composes a person. Even the personality one is born with changes depending on the life one has lived. In other words, the existence known as "me" is formed by the experiences I've gone through and the thoughts that arose from them.
In the midst of that, if I were to gain Felice's memories as well, would that still be me? Or would it be Felice? Or perhaps an entirely new existence that is neither of the two? Regardless of the outcome, the being that possessed Felice of this world had ultimately shown consideration so that I could exist purely as myself. In conclusion, I do not possess all of Felice's memories. To prevent the existence known as "me" from being buried under Felice's memories and becoming someone else, the memories were resurfacing very gradually.
Why am I suddenly talking about this? "Hey, Felice, are you really okay?" Because I have no idea who this child is who's looking at me with concern right in front of my eyes.
Light blue hair like the sky—or perhaps a lake—and eyes of the same pale blue. A very small stature where the top of her head barely reaches my chin. Round, innocent eyes and a face that, while not quite as beautiful as Silvia's, radiates cuteness. No matter how much I searched my memories, I couldn't find anything. Felice's memories hadn't fully resurfaced yet, either.
"…Yeah, I'm fine."
The sparring match with Cain had, without a doubt, ended in a spectacular defeat. Of course, that was only natural. Even if I'd fought with everything I had, I wouldn't have been able to win, and my current condition wasn't perfect either. Still, there was one important point—I had seen a possibility. It wasn't a crushing defeat without dreams or hope. While there were no dreams, at least a sliver of hope had been visible. No matter how much the other party was the male protagonist of this novel, he too hadn't fully matured yet.
And the moment Cain, with whom I'd finished sparring, turned away, this girl from the same swordsmanship department approached me with concern. Who is she?
Since I didn't know exactly who she was or what kind of relationship we had, I answered her words in a daze and lowered my sword, catching my breath. "So why on earth did you spar with Cain…! He's on a completely different level of talent from kids like us, you know?"
Despite her prickly tone, her pale blue eyes were filled with worry. Is this what they call a tsundere? As I thought that, memories from beneath the surface slowly began to surface.
"Not 'us'—you mean you, right?"
"……."
"I'm still in the top ten of the swordsmanship department, you know."
"Even if you're worried…!"
The girl who poked my arm repeatedly in dissatisfaction—I finally remembered who she was as I wiped away the sweat still dripping down. Helena fel Deigrefy. In my previous world, she would have been dismissed as a fantastical existence, but here she was simply a childhood friend. However, in this world, it was an extremely common and ordinary relationship. The reason childhood friends were common was because once nobles or commoners settled in one place, they rarely left it. This was especially true for nobles, since the only way for them to leave their territory was through complete ruin.
Anyway, Helena and I had been childhood friends since we were young. Though there was a difference in status between a count's family and a baron's family, our fathers had some interaction, so we visited each other frequently from a young age. Being the same age, Helena and I naturally became friends. …That was the setting, at least.
The reason Helena's memories had surfaced a bit late was because Felice had been fixated solely on Silvia ever since coming to the Academy. Naturally, the distance between us had grown, which was why I was only now recalling the memories of Helena that had been sleeping beyond my recollection.
"Felice, don't tell me… this isn't because of Silvia, is it?"
"What are you suddenly saying?"
As I was recalling memories of Helena, I snapped back to attention at her cautious question. Blinking in confusion, I asked back stupidly, and Helena patted my shoulder as if to comfort me. Of course, since she was shorter than me, it didn't feel particularly grown-up at all.
"You confessed to Silvia yesterday and got rejected, right?"
"Ah, that story."
At Helena's following words, I let out a small exclamation as I finally grasped the situation. Well, the most talked-about rumor in the entire Academy right now would be that someone confessed to Silvia and got rejected again. And ironically, that someone was me in my current situation.
"Not at all? I'm fine, though?"
"……Really?"
"Yeah. It wasn't because of that. Besides, Cain was the one who came looking for a spar first, you know?"
I had no lingering attachment to being rejected by Silvia. After all, it wasn't me who had liked her. Of course, there was some shame and embarrassment, but it wasn't enough to hold a grudge and challenge Cain to a spar. I smiled at Helena, who was narrowing her eyes as if she couldn't believe me, to show that I was truly fine.
That aside, she really had a good personality… I thought. Even though her childhood friend had been so absorbed in Silvia that he hadn't shown his face for two weeks and hadn't even had a proper conversation, the moment she heard he'd been rejected, she came running to comfort him. Leaving behind such a kind childhood friend and chasing after a pretty girl in the end—maybe the saying that childhood friends always lose wasn't wrong. Because the feelings this girl had for Felice didn't seem like they were just "friends."
Of course, the Felice that Helena liked no longer existed. With a mix of apology and pity, I briefly patted her light blue hair. …Hmm, the height was just right for patting.
"W-what…?"
"Just felt like trying it once."
Helena was an extra who didn't appear in the original novel. So there shouldn't be any harm in getting a little closer. Of course, I had to be careful since she didn't think of me as just a friend.
"Don't do that, I'm not a kid…"
"You look like one, though."
"Which part?"
"……."
"Answer properly if you don't want to die."
"……I'm sorry."
At my muttered words, Helena clenched her small fists and spoke. Knowing indirectly just how painful those small fists could be, I could only swallow dryly. Apologizing to Helena, who was smiling menacingly with a terrifying voice, I quickly moved my feet.
"Come here. You just made fun of my height, didn't you?"
"……No, I didn't?"
"Die!!"
Helena and Felice were childhood friends. To be precise, they had been childhood friends. Until recently, they had been the kind of childhood friends who didn't even speak to each other… Did such a thing even exist? He, who had always been diligent and always superior, had changed at some point. Even the sword he had so loved had left his hands, and even his once-strong pride had been cast aside as he began chasing after a single girl. Silvia Versh. Her beauty was enough to make even Helena admire it. Helena herself had never been called ugly anywhere she went, and had often been told she was pretty. At the same time, she had seen many girls more beautiful than herself. However, Silvia was on a different level. She was beautiful, and beautiful again. It was a beauty that couldn't be expressed with the word "beautiful" alone. She was dazzling, she shone, and it seemed as if the world revolved around her. That was why Helena had unconsciously acknowledged it. It was only natural for Felice to chase after Silvia. It was also natural, in a way, for him to prioritize her over the one who had always been by his side.
But the moment she heard that Felice had confessed to Silvia and been rejected as expected, she had no choice but to go find him. And she was able to see it. The top student of the swordsmanship department. Cain, who was already said to have far surpassed the level of a student, and Felice were sparring. Cain's skill was tremendous. Even though Felice had been neglecting his training recently, he possessed talent superior to others when it came to the sword, so she had thought he could at least put up some kind of fight against Cain. But he wasn't even a match. All the paths of his thrusting sword were read, and Cain easily neutralized even the techniques Felice had prepared. However, Helena could see it. Felice's eyes were shining just as much as before… no, even more than before. As if they had returned to how they used to be.
Felice must have felt it too—that he couldn't match Cain in skill. Yet he didn't stop. He poured all his strength, everything he had, into trying to defeat Cain. Even if the end was defeat. And when Helena spoke to the defeated Felice, she finally realized it. The Felice she knew had returned.