Chapter 71
Chapter 71
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 71
Chapter Title: Second Resolution #4
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-What the...?
"Quickly! Come quickly! Hurry! There's a ghost!"
-Sigh... Hold on.
Spandal hung up the phone.
"Done!"
As long as Spandal, the powerhouse with her incredible superpower, showed up, this petty ghost bastard was nothing.
Some might mock me, a seasoned regressor who's been through hell and back, for calling in a senior over a mere petty ghost.
But that would be utterly foolish.
Foolish to the point of sheer ignorance.
A narrow-minded perspective, plain and simple.
Ignorant.
Dense.
Obtuse.
Dim-witted.
A regressor uses every tool at their disposal. When you're not isolated with no signal, calling in an expert esper is the most natural move.
This was only possible because I'm such a seasoned agent. Because I'm so damn proficient, I immediately devised and executed a solution.
Besides, our specialties are worlds apart.
I'm an expert vampire hunter on par with Han Se-geon. No vampire can beat me, and above all, this entity known as Grong is a legendary brawler who went toe-to-toe with a vampire angel and won. In vampire hunting, I'm superhuman.
Ghosts, though? Not my domain.
Even university professors are experts in their field but clueless about others. Same principle. I'm a vampire hunting specialist, not a ghost hunter.
So this isn't some cowardly rookie hitting the panic button and crying for senior backup.
It's the mark of a cool-headed, seasoned hunter.
A competent move from someone who knows their limits and picks the best option... the essence of a ruthless predator.
I pressed my index and middle fingers into my temples and wrapped up my thoughts.
"Alright."
Nothing's impossible for this Grong.
But handing everything off to Spandal wouldn't be true to form. Seasoned agents find breakthroughs in any situation.
Wait, but how the hell is a petty ghost this strong?
A petty ghost one-shotting a Management Bureau agent?
If this is how it is, how do Koreans even survive?
Anyway.
The ghost hasn't started knocking yet.
I've got time to gather intel.
I fired up the computer and searched for Korean ghosts.
Hint.
Right, the hint.
The hint said it's a petty ghost haunting Korea.
"Petty ghost."
Come to think of it, this isn't useless at all.
Whatever it is, I now know the enemy's identity. A Korean petty ghost—the unknown terror is gone.
Without the hint, I'd be shaking in fear instead of raging about what bullshit this is. Knowing it's a petty ghost is what pissed me off.
As I searched for info on Korean petty ghosts and exorcism methods,
[World Politics Bulletin Board]
Sure enough, tons of posts from this site popped up.
"Sejeongge, huh."
Something's definitely here.
Let's check it out.
-Eyes open!!!!
-Column) Are the Wright Brothers Angels or Demons?
-Hospitals can't be trusted. They implant parasites in your brain.
-Trigger Warning) Brutal Imperialist Sugarcane Plantations: Belgium, Absolute Evil Nation in Human History, the 20 Million Congo Limb Amputations and Cannibalism Massacre
-Aren't all these 'managers' on the internet lately super suspicious?
-Epsilon-Class Weird Wave Blocking Tin Foil Hat Making Guide Shared
-Found another UFO, fuck. Always around my house, fuck. Hiding them all, fuck. Doing it on purpose so I find them, fuck.
Totally unhinged, as expected.
Every post is batshit insane.
Even so, I felt a strong pull toward this Sejeongge.
No, call it intuition.
There's definitely something here.
I want to dig deep sometime.
"Let's see."
I focused on keywords for Korean ghosts.
"Korean petty ghost... Korean petty ghost..."
Info on ghosts started coming up.
Ghosts are weak to salt and red beans, apparently. Most react like vampires hit with garlic just from sprinkling them... For real?
I'd heard this before. Salt's the classic ghost repellent, and red beans are used on Dongji anyway.
Will this actually work?
It's a petty ghost, so maybe it will.
Could be an easy fight then.
"Damn."
No salt or red beans at home, though.
Frustrating, but oh well.
"Wow."
The Hint ability is better than I thought.
If it's really a petty ghost, it'll drop to salt and red beans.
Let's find more options.
-Back in the day, they hung sieves by the door of thatched houses for this reason. Ghost tries to enter, gets obsessed counting the holes. Ghosts fixate on dense patterns like that. Counts all night, vanishes at dawn.
"Sieve!"
I've heard of this!
And luckily, I have a cooking sieve.
-Rattle!
I yanked open the kitchen drawer and grabbed it.
Right then.
-Bang bang bang!
"Hup!"
This bastard's trying to scare me...!
But with the sieve, no worries.
I taped the cooking sieve to the wall.
"Phew."
Gripped my pistol, ready for battle.
-Bang bang bang!
-Bang bang bang!
-Bang bang bang!
Come on, then.
Calling Spandal was just backup for the worst case. I can handle this solo. I took down a vampire angel—I'm basically the god of vampire hunting.
Even gods can handle adjacent fields decently.
-Clunk!
The door suddenly opened.
A disheveled ghost lunged at me.
At the same time.
-Fwoosh!
The ghost veered toward the sieve on the wall and smashed its face into it!
"Whoa!"
It worked!
Nailed it!
This petty ghost bastard fell for a traditional exorcism trick!
"One two three four five six seven eight nine ten."
The ghost glared with eerie eyes, counting in a chilling voice. Like an obsessive-compulsive nutjob counting every grain in fried rice.
Obviously, with all those holes, it won't finish.
"Eleven twelve thirteen fourteen-"
"What the fuck are you counting, you piece of shit!"
I swung the silver cross from my pocket, smashing its head.
-Smack!
Did that land damage?
"One two three four five six seven eight nine ten."
It paused briefly, then tried counting again.
This fucker's completely psycho!
"Look at you! Die!"
-Smack! Smack! Smack!
I beat it like a punching bag, going berserk.
"H, one two three four five six seven eight nine ten..."
Punching, kicking, spitting, finger-pointing, verbal abuse, maximum humiliation—venting all my stress in a frenzy.
Each time, the ghost shuddered, flinched, fell, then got up to press its face to the sieve and count.
It was totally trapped.
"H, one two... three... four... one, one, one...."
"You still at it, you fuck! Hey! Snap out of it!"
At this point, it was hilarious.
"What are you even counting!"
"H, h, one..."
I yanked its hair wildly, twisted it into a freakish mess like a discarded Chucky doll in the trash.
"Two, two, one..."
Not enough—I soaked tissues, shredded them, jammed them into its ears, smeared its face.
"Hah! Eat this too!"
Bonus: I crushed the minced garlic pack and dumped it on its head.
Ah!
Feels so good!
"I'm making you a reggae head, fucker! Get over here!"
"H, h, one..."
"Reggae hair's black culture only? Then, punk! Don't black people enjoy white culture?! Huh!"
"H, h, one... one..."
As I turned the ghost's head into a reggae mess,
"Grong. What are you doing?"
"Huh! Senior Spandal!"
Spandal was here!
I let go of the hair.
"..."
Spandal stared at me blankly.
"Sigh. I rush here because you freak out about a ghost... and you're fighting it? What's with that look?"
"Well..."
"What do you take me for as a senior? You're a Management Bureau agent, even if a newbie. Calling me in the middle of the night because you can't handle this alone—"
"Senior Spandal! Sniff! I thought I was gonna die of fright!"
"Whoa?!"
I hugged her tight.
Yes.
This exact feel.
"W-What...! G-Get off...! Scared?! You were just beating it!"
"It was so scary, my body went into overdrive beyond my control! I was in full panic!"
"I get it, so get off! Can't you hear me...!"
I kept rubbing my face against hers; she tried pushing me away but ended up patting my back.
Some things never change.
Of course. It's her.
"Thirty-one thirty-two thirty-three thirty-four."
I let go when I heard the ghost.
Left it alone a sec, and it's counting again.
"Causing trouble, really..."
"Senior Spandal. But I did find a way in my fear. Put up the sieve, and the ghost got stuck on it."
Spandal glanced at the counting ghost.
"Good job. Classic Korean ghost trait. Hang a sieve, and it counts the holes. You knew?"
"Saw it online. But that bag?"
"Salt and red beans."
Ah.
She brought them because of the ghost call.
Spandal used her slender, long fingers to scoop salt and red beans from the bag.
Then tossed them at the ghost.
-Fwoosh!
The ghost's hair stood on end; it convulsed wildly, flopping and writhing like a bug with nerve damage.
"Gagagagagagak."
Salt and red beans are the real deal.
Spandal looked down at it.
-Shing.
A long black thorn like a longsword extended from her finger, stabbing deep.
-Splurch!
Countless black thorns exploded inside the petty ghost like a sea urchin.
Soon, the ghost's form vanished completely.
[You have exterminated the 'Ghost Trying to Enter the House.']
[Reward: Acquired 100 points.]
No way!
This fucker wastes a 2,000-point life and gives me just 100 points?
"..."
I wanted to scream, but not in front of Spandal. So I bowed politely.
"Thank you, Senior Spandal. You saved my life."
"Grong. As an agent, you need to handle this stuff solo. What if you couldn't reach me? You wouldn't call for backup then, right?"
Spandal scolded me standing before her. Familiar and enjoyable. I hung my head, taking it meekly.
"Sorry. I'll do better. From now on, I'll carry salt and red beans, not just garlic."
"See that you do. If you call me for something this trivial again, I'll be disappointed."
"No way! I don't want to disappoint you, Senior Spandal!"
"T-That's why! Do better from now on! I'm going!"
She yelled and turned to leave.
Hmm.
But I don't want her to go.
Even if she's not Long-Haired Spandal... If regression carries over somewhat instead of full reset...
"Where do you think you're going!"
"Huh?"
"A ghost appeared! How can I stay alone!"
"We took care of the ghost...?"
"Scary is scary! I can't stay here alone. It's really too much, Senior Spandal."
"W-What... do you want from me?"
Her troubled look.
Exactly.
Push now, and it's done.
"I'm Grong, terror of vampires and fake Management Bureau, but ghosts are out of my league. It might come back, so could you help a bit more, Senior Spandal?"
"So what do you want...?"
"Don't leave yet."
"N-No way, you want me to stay?!"
You get me.
"Yes."
"M-Make some sense! I'm leaving!"
"Ah, at least! Escort me to the Management Bureau! I can't stay in this house alone tonight!"
"What are you saying! Grong, how far will you inconvenience me! W-Wait! Don't come closer!"
"You'll go together?"
"Fine, geez!"
That's my Spandal.
In the end, I went to the Management Bureau with her.
The lights were blazing.
Entering the office felt comforting.
"You're really sleeping here?"
"Yes. Crashing here for the night."
"Sigh... Do what you want."
"Thanks! Good night!"
I saw her off and lay on the floor.
Can't turn off the lights, though.
Had to cover my eyes with a blindfold.
"Pretty useful."
The Hint ability.
It's a gem.
Thought it was some weird trash power at first, but it's great. Knowing the ghost's info let me find a counter. Took a point hit from the ambush, but otherwise...
Could farm points with it?