So Equipment Can Copy Itself?

Why can't I nail the iron sword?

I mean that sincerely.

This isn't some joke I'm tossing out for laughs — it's a genuine dilemma I've been chewing on, hilt in hand.

Orphanage kid.

After I aged out, I used my settlement stipend to rent a shoebox of a studio barely bigger than a closet.

I did awaken, technically — except no rank ever came back. Attribute: None. Verdict: Indeterminable.

An unawakened nobody. No skills, no stats.

"I want to be a hunter."

It's the only field out there that doesn't check your credentials or your connections. All you need is a working body.

What if holding a sword triggers the awakening?

"Guess I should buy one, then."

So I bought one.

A 1-Star used iron sword. Thirty thousand won. Signs of actual use.

The entire listing was two lines long: Barely used it. No haggling.

—Cha-ching.

The sword summoned the instant I bought it.

A brief shimmer of light, and there it was, lying on my floor.

"Awakening, here I come!"

—Shink.

Nothing changed.

Silence in my tiny room.

"Yeah, well. Figured as much."

Needless to say, no awakening happened.

The iron sword was heavy.

The edge was dull, and the grip carried the worn marks of someone who'd held it for a long, long time.

"Party first, then."

I pulled up the Hunter Gallery and opened the recruitment tab.

Recruitment posts scrolled past one after another.

"...What the hell is any of this?"

What's a "safe party"? What's a "DPS cutoff"?

"And why are buses showing up?"

I looked it up.

Bus: when a high-level hunter slots a low-level into their party and carries them through a gate to a clear.

"...So you pay money to hitch a ride. And I can't even afford the bus."

I dug up a few more terms that way.

Then one line snagged my eye.

D-Rank or above.

I dug out my hunter license.

The rank field was blank.

"..."

Every other person had something stamped in that box.

It wasn't that I couldn't apply because I didn't understand the jargon.

I was never eligible in the first place.

—Click.

I closed the window.

"Should I... sell this sword back?"

I'd bought a sword, and I had nowhere to swing it.

Ten at night.

I switched off the light.

In a room this cramped, lying down puts the ceiling practically in your face.

"If only I had a girlfriend."

Never had one. Not exactly lined up for one, either.

So I did what I always did. Phone on, familiar website.

That's when the sword by my pillow caught my eye.

"I wish you were a woman."

So I could nail you.

And with that thought, I reached out and touched the blade.

—Thump.

"This is..."

My room.

"Oh, come on. I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠was expecting an unfamiliar ceiling."

It's the familiar view, and yet something about it grates on me.

"...There's no window."

Where the window should be, there's just wall. Perfectly smooth wall.

"Did I get isekai'd?!"

I twisted the doorknob.

It wouldn't turn.

"Wait, this isn't isekai — this is a ghost story, isn't it...?"

My phone wouldn't turn on, and the inside of the fridge was pitch black.

There was no sound, either. No footsteps from next door, no traffic noise from the street, not even the sound of my own breathing.

The room contained exactly what I knew of it — and nothing beyond that.

—Thump, thump.

My heart started hammering like it was trying to escape my chest.

—Whoosh.

Suddenly, I felt something behind me.

"I'm so fucked."

I turned around.

"A woman?"

Some woman was lying there.

Completely naked.

On the slim side, small-framed. About up to my shoulder in height.

Fine scratches down her forearms and along her sides.

Below her collarbone, a dark smudge like rust had stained the skin.

"..."

A sealed room. A woman. And me.

A room you can't leave unless you have sex.

I had no idea what was going on, but one thing was certain: this place was not reality.

I was starved for a woman, and there was a woman in front of me.

And I was locked in here.

Under normal circumstances this would be absolutely unthinkable behavior, but...

this unfamiliar environment was driving me out of my mind.

"Peekaboo, pussy!"

The first pussy I'd ever laid eyes on in my life.

Completely smooth.

"Man, pussies are actually really pretty."

Fear? Despair?

Feelings like those needed to be packed away in a drawer.

This room was definitely one of those "no sex, no exit" deals.

"Thanks for the meal~"

The room is sealed, and my consciousness is crystal clear.

Actually, maybe I'm a little dizzy.

No — honestly, this might all be a dream.

—Shlop.

What even is sex, anyway?

Does it only count if you finish?

—Squeak, squeak.

I was on a mission right now.

I needed to come, and fast.

I should have been focusing, but my dizzy head flat-out refused to concentrate.

"Grip me a little ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠tighter!"

I'd seen that line somewhere before.

Sex is all about blood flow, apparently. Arousal makes everything swell, the bodies press close together, and sensation transmits better.

In other words: no arousal means the sensation is garbage.

Which was exactly my situation.

—Spurt, spurt.

Water burst out of the woman's pussy.

"She felt it too, so this isn't non-consensual!"

No idea what I was even saying at that point.

And then a notification popped up below my vision.

"What the fuck is this?"

A notification window, like something out of the Hunter Gallery, was floating at the bottom of my field of view.

Meanwhile, my body had long since left my will behind.

It was the first time in my life I'd ever made these movements, but my body followed the videos with total honesty.

"Here it comes—!"

Yes, I had always wanted to say that line at least once.

"Ugh—!"

From my cock it kept erupting, over and over, like a blocked water pipe blowing its seal.

It felt like my whole body was being sucked dry.

My consciousness dimmed along with it.

"I still have to clean up, though..."

—Thud.

"You're awake."

When I opened my eyes, the woman was sitting quietly, looking down at me.

"...Huh?"

"Hey. Look at this."

She pointed at her own belly.

Swollen and round.

"Holy shit..."

I had gotten a total stranger pregnant.

"Why are you cursing?"

"Uh... no... sorry."

If this woman called the police on me, I'd be behind bars before the day was out.

"Who might you be?"

"Me?"

She pointed at herself with a finger.

"You're a weapon."

A weapon.

Weapon?

"A weapon...? You mean a life sentence?"

"Idiot."

I got cursed out by a total stranger.

Okay, fine, the situation did kind of warrant it.

"I'm your sword."

If I'd heard that line in a romance fantasy, my heart would have plummeted straight through the floor. Reality, however, was ice cold.

"Anyway — this. What are we doing about it?"

The woman pointed at her belly again.

"Uh...?"

Only then did I notice something floating in front of that swollen stomach.

A UI element, like a blue button. Underlined text that practically begged to be clicked.

'Click to view details.'

'I have clearly lost my mind.'

"Am I going to be a mom?"

"..."

"Can't even string a sentence together. Idiot."

Yes, I'm the one at fault here... but that feels a little unfair, doesn't it?

Quasi-rape: imprisonment for three years or longer.

I decided not to argue the point.

"Yes. I am, in fact, an idiot."

I bowed my head like that.

Please, have mercy.

"No, that's not what I was asking for."

The woman faltered for a moment, then frowned.

"After finally meeting an owner I can actually talk to — and he's an idiot."

Owner.

She had definitely just called me her owner.

'She doesn't look like she's planning to report me, at least.'

As long as I didn't get reported, we were fine.

"Mother... used iron sword..."

"Okay, yes, I'm used — but did you have to say it out loud...?"

"..."

"At the very least, you were my first sexual experience..."

Why was the iron sword confessing her first time?

"Pfft."

One thing was certain.

I had lost my mind, and in this insane world, that woman really was the iron sword.

"You laughing?"

Right.

I hadn't nailed a woman.

I'd nailed equipment.

Which meant I probably wouldn't be seeing the inside of a prison cell, right?

Public indecency or whatever — a hundred times better than rape.

'Due — in 1 day.'

"So you give birth tomorrow."

"Yep."

The iron sword was completely at ease.

Stomach the size of a mountain, she sat leaning against the wall, idly wiggling her toes.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you scared at all?"

"Of what?"

"Giving birth."

The iron sword stared at me dead-on.

"I'm a sword?"

"..."

"You think childbirth scares a sword?"

When she put it that way, fair enough.

Everything here already made no sense, so I couldn't even tell what was more nonsensical anymore.

I want to go home.

Come to think of it — how do I even get out of here?

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Do you know how to leave this place?"

"..."

"..."

"Why are you asking me that?"

"Because you seem to know this space better than I do?"

"You're my owner. Shouldn't you just know everything?"

Fair point. I had nothing.

The doorknob still wouldn't turn. And there was no window to begin with.

"Shouldn't I just shout that I want to leave?"

"...What?"

Nothing to lose.

"...I want to leave!"

—Thump.

I opened my eyes.

There was a window. There were sounds. I could even hear a car passing outside.

And in my hand, the iron sword.

"...It worked."

Everything that had just happened felt like a dream.

"It wasn't a dream, though. Right?"

If it had been a dream, I would have had a wet dream.

And my underwear...

"Whew..."

There wasn't a single trace left on my lower half.

"What is happening ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to my brain."

Those hours had been one long chain of tension and shock.

I lay back on my own familiar bed and stared at the ceiling.

Only now, with my familiar room and window in view, did the tension finally drain out of me.

Nowhere — absolutely nowhere — did it say equipment could get pregnant.

"Ah!"

I'd fallen asleep without meaning to.

"What time is it?"

Eleven-thirty, thankfully.

No... something felt off, so I checked again —

"Holy shit, I slept for over a whole day."

An entire day had gone by.

"What about the iron sword?"

Her due date had been a day away — which meant it should have already passed.

I needed to see her, now.

She had to be going through a rough time.

"...I want to nail her."

Probably not the thing to say about someone who's pregnant, but I had to get there fast.

"I want to leave!"

—Thump.

"Here you go."

The iron sword held something out to me.

"What is it?"

"What I gave birth to."

It was not a person.

It wasn't even remotely person-shaped.

A lump about the size of my fist.

Some color between gray and silver, its surface rippling in constant, minute waves — neither quite solid nor quite molten.

"It's your kid."

The iron sword shrugged.

"I'm a sword, so I can't take responsibility."

I accepted the lump.

—Shff.

The moment my fingertip touched it, the thing began to take shape.

The rippling surface stilled, stretched long, straightened — and one side sharpened into an edge.

It moved like it was chasing my hand.

—Pop.

It had become an iron sword.

"...What is this?"

"It's a sword."

"You were a sword."

"Yep."

"And you gave birth to a sword."

"Aha. So I did."

I was losing my grip on reality.

A sword had given birth to a sword.

"Wasn't it, like... hard?"

"It just went whoosh and slid right out."

"Oh. Okay."

Totally matter-of-fact about the whole thing.

Honestly, maybe it isn't that impressive after all?

It's not like it compares to human childbirth.

"What are you going to do with it?"

"With what?"

"The thing you gave birth to."

Hmm...

I was, at my core, a man whose only possession was a license with a blank rank field.

"I guess I'll sell it...?"

"Sure."

So cool about it.

Right. I'm a human, and this is a sword.

This isn't a question of ethics or human decency or anything like that.

"I'm off, then."

"Yeah."

And with the iron sword behind me,

"I want to leave."

—Thump.

I returned to my room.

I opened my eyes.

Two swords in my hand.

One I'd paid thirty thousand won for.

The other hadn't existed in this world until yesterday.

And I was broke.

"Can I actually sell this?"

I opened the trading platform.

1-Star Iron Sword, good condition. 50,000 won.

—Ding.

It sold in fifteen minutes.

"I feel... weird about this."

I'd made fifty thousand won selling a sword that had been born moments ago.

"So, to sum up."

I can turn equipment into a woman, get her pregnant, have her give birth, and sell the offspring.

"...What the hell did I just say?"

Was that seriously the language we speak here?

That one-line summary was scrambling my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠brain.

I'd bought the sword hoping to become a hunter, and that very sword had turned a twenty-thousand-won profit.

And the original was still perfectly fine.

That blank rank field on my license was starting to look a little different now.

Cheat abilities, by definition, were never supposed to be detectable.

When I returned to the subspace, the iron sword was sitting against the wall.

"You sold it?"

"Yep."

"How much?"

"Fifty thousand."

The iron sword's eyes went wide.

"I only cost thirty thousand."

"...That's true."

"So the kid I gave birth to is worth more than me?"

"...Yep."

The iron sword glanced down at her own belly once.

At the spot that had gone flat again.

"...It really wasn't hard?"

"I told you it wasn't. Idiot."

"Can you quit it with the nasty words already?"

"Nope."

Looking at the iron sword, the fifty thousand won sitting in my bank account drifted into my mind.

That strangely prickly way of talking somehow came across as... kind of endearing.

"Iron Sword, come here."

"What is wrong with you? Creep."

From the second kid onward, it's fifty thousand won in pure profit.