Just Because I'm Grateful
This was clearly a sound that should have felt good.
But knowing exactly where the points were coming from, anxiety pushed ahead of any pleasant thrashing of the body.
"Why are you putting clothes on?"
"To walk you home."
"It's right downstairs from your place anyway."
"If your sister wasn't coming to pick you up, I would've taken you all the way to your front door."
"It's a dangerous neighborhood."
"Don't say that."
Finished eating?
Then it would normally be time to brush my teeth.
But this was Jeong Ayeong's house.
I didn't know if I'd be coming over often, but I had no desire to brush my teeth here.
"It's cold."
"They say guys feel the cold more."
It was March, but evening.
The moment I slipped on my shoes, Jeong Ayeong followed me out as well.
Taking the elevator down brought us straight to the front entrance.
"When's she coming?"
"We'll probably have to wait about ten minutes."
"It's cold."
"I'm fine."
But why are you freezing?
The night air was chilly, and it did feel a little cold.
Yet Jeong Ayeong's legs were trembling like it was the dead of winter.
"Go back inside first."
"N-no. I should at least say hello."
"Oh… you're not uncomfortable?"
Honestly, I was impressed.
Considering how timid she usually was, she should have bolted back inside long ago.
Wasn't it awkward when it was your friend's older sister?
Jeong Ayeong stood firmly at my side.
"Th-th-th-th-th-then. Of course not."
Correction.
She was not firm at all, and looked extremely uncomfortable.
But she was cute, so it was fine, right?
"Haa…"
"What?"
"Just. The air feels nice."
Personal opinion, but even for Seoul, the night air was especially good tonight.
That cold air settling down. Didn't it feel nice?
I know.
My thoughts naturally tilted toward Han Seyeon.
She had always seemed more put-together than anyone.
Every morning she left for work, and she always came home right on time.
Not once had she ever stayed out for a company dinner or come home drunk.
Not even once.
She was mature. Responsible.
But the hologram notifications kept shattering that image to pieces.
The true nature of the points was Han Seyeon's emotions.
She had never gone over to a friend's house either…
Or had she?
No.
She hadn't.
It was true.
From elementary school all the way until now.
She skipped school trips because there was no money.
Aside from mandatory field trips, among all the leftover free time…
She had never once gone over to a friend's house.
It sounded absurd, but if you thought about it that way, the fact that I even existed in this world was absurd to begin with.
A vague unease settled over me.
Even if she had quit boxing because of her wrist injury…
She had still been a professional.
Even among women, she was on a completely different level.
Could Jeong Ayeong handle her?
Common sense said she wouldn't hit her little brother's friend.
But the emotion that came with three exclamation marks was already smashing common sense to pieces.
There was always a "what if."
"Ayeong, go inside."
"Huh? You said we still have to wait a little."
"No. Go in. Hurry."
"It's fine. I came all the way out here, so I should at least say hello…"
Jeong Ayeong's eyes grew rounder and rounder.
From far away came the sound of heavy footsteps.
Because it was evening, they rang out louder than they would have during the day.
My head turned slowly.
The moment my eyes met Han Seyeon's…
The endless stream of hologram notifications finally stopped.
Just a moment.
It was only a very brief moment.
In the span of less than three hours, the heart that had been squeezed to the point of death finally stopped.
The pressure lifted, and her mind grew light.
It felt like drawing a deep breath deep in a forest—a profound sense of elevation, freshness, and release.
It wasn't because of the March night air.
Not far away at all, Han Seyeon was standing there.
There was another woman she had never seen before standing with him, but she paid her almost no mind.
Was it because the anxiety that had been crushing her chest and sharpening every nerve had vanished?
Her mind began to think rationally again.
She's a friend, so she walked him all the way to the front of the building, huh.
Her rough breathing settled almost immediately.
Well, of course. She had covered a distance that should have taken forty minutes on foot in only ten.
Even accounting for the fact that she had texted Han Sein a little late, the speed was beyond imagination.
"Hello."
"Oh, hey. You're Sein's friend?"
"Yes."
Shrinking.
That was Han Seyeon's first impression of Jeong Ayeong as she looked at her.
Like a timid little frog, all hunched up.
No life in her eyes, constantly reading the room.
The voice that leaked out had no strength in it.
How to put it… as a fellow woman, there was just something you could feel at a glance?
Put nicely, she seemed like a good kid.
Put poorly, she looked like a total nerd who had never dated a guy in her life.
Of course she wasn't consciously thinking that.
It was more like an impression branded into the unconscious, the way human instinct worked.
"See you."
"S-see you, Sein…"
"Yeah. Later."
There wasn't much to talk about for long.
She had only come to pick him up because the night streets were dangerous, and the girl had only been waiting to see him off until she arrived.
The two of them walked away together.
A cold silence settled over them.
She was sure she hadn't cared about it before.
Lately, though, Han Seyeon had started to notice uncomfortable silences.
More precisely, ever since they had started talking to each other.
Silence was no longer the everyday default, so it had begun to feel awkward.
"Was it fun?"
"Mm… just okay?"
Thump, thump.
Words she normally wouldn't even have had the courage to say.
But between siblings, they were the kind of words people exchanged without thinking twice.
Han Seyeon had grown far too used to things that weren't normal.
Was that why?
This unfamiliar instability stirred something in her heart.
Not in a bad way.
Right now it was a good kind of relief, and it made her heart flutter.
Don't tell me… was I jealous?
Come on. What kind of jealousy was there between siblings?
"What did you play?"
"Some fighting game, I think?"
"Sounds fun."
It was half leading the conversation.
Three years older than Han Sein, Han Seyeon found herself growing a little more childish.
Honestly, she hoped deep down that it hadn't been fun at all.
"Nah, I kept losing so it was boring."
"You lost?"
"Yeah, it was my first time. I think I lost like ten in a row?"
The corner of Han Seyeon's mouth lifted.
Jeong Ayeong's face flashed through her mind for a second.
Well, did she even know anything about guys?
Come to think of it, she herself hadn't known either.
Couldn't she have at least thrown one match?
She offered a silent prayer of condolence for Jeong Ayeong, who hadn't even managed that much social sense.
"Haa, it's a little cold."
"Let's hurry home."
They were about halfway there, so another twenty minutes of walking should do it.
The conversation grew more comfortable by the minute.
Enough that she almost regretted how she used to run away, careful and full of guilt.
Han Seyeon was satisfied with the way things were right now.
But then…
One single sentence from Han Sein began to smash through the ceiling of that hard-won contentment.
"You looked happy."
"…?"
"Eating dinner all together. It felt warm."
"……."
Guilt crushed down on Han Seyeon's heart.
A family. A normal family, no doubt.
She understood exactly why Han Sein would say something like that.
And so her thoughts sank deeper and deeper.
"Noona…?"
"Let's just get home. It's cold."
She ran away again.
From a reality that made her head uncomfortable.
From something that could have been fixed with just a few more words of conversation, she fled once more.
Han Sein looked startled.
Because her hand was already gripping his tightly.
As if she were dragging someone along.
She walked half a step ahead, heading straight for home.
Han Seyeon couldn't see her little brother's expression.
She was leading the way, and she also didn't want him to catch the guilt written all over her face, so she didn't look back.
How much time passed?
Han Sein called out.
"Noona, noona?"
"H-huh!"
She jolted.
Deep in thought.
The moment Han Seyeon snapped out of her reverie, a familiar door was already greeting her.
She had spent roughly twenty minutes lost in contemplation.
It had felt like only an instant, yet she had been thinking with complete seriousness.
And then reality returned.
It didn't take long at all for her to notice the warm heat coming from her hand.
"Ah, ah! Sorry."
"It's fine. It was cold, but I was okay."
Han Sein gently rubbed his own hand.
It was more than warm—it was practically stewed through.
They had been holding hands for over twenty minutes, so it was only natural.
Her face grew more and more flushed.
Han Sein stepped into the house first, and she followed after him with the creaking, awkward gait of a broken doll.
"Ah…"
"Oh, the rice… pfft. You put in a lot of water, huh?"
"Yeah…"
Han Seyeon's eyes went soft.
The way he took off his outer clothes and immediately checked the state of the kitchen.
So that's it.
Her mouth slowly opened.
A surge of emotion rose from her heart and caught in her throat.
So that was it.
This is what I wanted to see.
The true identity of the anxiety she had never been able to pin down.
Watching him rummage around the rice cooker in the kitchen, the realization came to her naturally.
I… I…
I just wanted to see my little brother.
Han Seyeon murmured it to herself.
The moment she opened the door and stepped inside…
She had wanted to be greeted by warm eyes and a smile.
She moved slowly.
After taking off her shoes, Han Seyeon headed for the kitchen.
"Noona…?"
She pulled Han Sein into a tight embrace.
He was precious. His very existence was.
Someone who absolutely had to be in this house. A precious someone.
A flustered voice vibrated against her chest.
When she tightened her arms a little more, a soft sound of breath escaped him.
She wasn't crushing his bones. She just… wanted to feel his warmth a little longer.
Warm breath spread through Han Seyeon's chest.
His body, dyed with fluster, squirmed faintly against her.
"Thank you…"
"Mm?"
"Just… just… thank you. For the housework. For… being here like this."
"I'm grateful too."
"Ah…"
Han Seyeon's body trembled lightly.
Thank you.
The moment she heard those words, a deep, ticklish feeling bloomed in her heart.
Today had been a little special.
A day when the distance between brother and sister had closed just a little more.
Insignificant, maybe, but special to them.
Today was exactly that kind of day.