I Gave Up on Them

I gave up on them.

A grinding sound came from my teeth as something cracked, and red blood dripped from my clenched fist onto the dirt floor, soaking in.

Why are you doing this to me again? Even if I refused the quests, was it telling me to make them happy anyway? If I gripped any harder, blood vessels would burst in my eyes, spilling bloody tears.

"What the hell... Huh?"

I was about to demand why it was doing this to me. To the creator of this damn system.

But what was this? Find love? My own love? Live a happy life?

I blankly read the quest window floating before my eyes, then covered them with one hand as a silly grin spread across my lips.

"Haha."

Was this all it took? The hundred years of suffering I'd endured weren't some inevitable misfortune that couldn't be undone with a single flick of my finger. It was a tragedy that never would have happened if I hadn't foolishly believed they loved me from the start.

For the first time, the system—which had always delivered information so impassively—offered me words of thanks.

It felt hollow to learn there'd been no need for all that suffering from the beginning, but at the same time, a weight lifted from my shoulders.

"The final life, huh..."

The fact that I could finally ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠end this mad farce after over a century and live happily ignited new kindling amid the ashes of my dead heart.

"Doesn't matter how I live, right?"

No need to be chosen as a hero and slay the Demon King. No need to stay up nights protecting my childhood friend. No need to shorten my life helping a weak knight grow strong. No need to abandon everything for a saintess struggling to commune with the goddess. No need to inherit the family, discard my name, and live as its head for the sake of the remaining maid.

"None of it, right...?"

With those final words, the system window vanished. I sprang into motion at once.

Feeling the grass beneath my shoes, I sprinted toward home. Just a few lives ago, each step had weighed a thousand tons, but now my body felt as light as if I'd donned Hermes' sandals. So light I could fly to the heavens.

Bursting through the mansion's front gate, I headed straight for my father's study.

"You're back."

"Yes, Father. I hope you're well."

I bowed politely to his emotionless, measured tone.

"What brings you here today?"

His voice held no trace of affection—calm to the point of coldness. The old me would have been hurt, but after living as family head myself, I pitied him. To maintain one of the empire's mere four ducal houses, every head erased their emotions upon succession. A mad ritual, existing solely to purge needless feelings and preserve perfect neutrality. Madness, inside and out.

"Father, I'd like to enroll in the academy."

That was why I had no intention of succeeding the family this time.

"State your reason."

"This term, the imperial princesses and the heirs of other ducal houses are enrolling. I'd like to enter now and build connections."

"Very well."

He granted permission with such a flimsy excuse. I simply closed my eyes, then opened them.

His emotionless tone briefly flashed me back to my past self, leaving me dizzy.

"Also, could you assign me a new personal maid?"

"State your reason."

"I believe it's best to enroll my maid alongside me for attendance. But my current one excels at her duties, yet as a commoner, even intensive training now won't get her through the Arcade Academy entrance exam."

"Very well."

No more of that soulless monotone, or it'd start messing with my head too. With my business done, I slipped out the door.

"Haa... Exhausting."

I'd been tired before, but not like this. Was it because the emotionless me was resurfacing?

I'd only properly spoken with Father after losing my own emotions upon becoming head. No reason for him to chat with a son who hadn't.

As a hero, I'd been too busy anyway.

Finally reaching my room, I heard a familiar sniffling from beyond the door.

"..."

The well-oiled door opened silently. Inside, a woman in a maid outfit was cleaning.

Her skin was porcelain white for a commoner, her sky-blue hair cut short to her shoulders. Looking at her stirred no fragment of the old palpitations. I gave a wry smile.

Yeah, that feeling's gone.

The thrill of first seeing her had vanished like an illusion. Smacking my lips at the bitterness, I softly called her name.

"Lianne."

"Yes, Young Master!"

Gazing at her smile—the same as always—I stated the truth flatly.

"I'm ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠enrolling in the academy."

"You've finally decided! The Arcade Academy... I can't wait to see what it's like!!"

She assumed she'd come along. Normally, yes—even without student status—but not this time.

"But Lianne, you won't be coming with me."

Correcting her delusion, she blinked her blue eyes at me.

"...Pardon?"

I no longer loved her. So why bother tutoring an ignorant commoner like her just to squeeze into the academy together?

No reason at all.

"Why...?"

"Nobles often bring servants to the academy, but most have passed the entrance exam themselves. Servants who fail can still go, but their access is limited."

"That's true..."

"Lianne, can ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you pass the Arcade Academy entrance exam?"

"...No."

She'd been hired for housework prowess alone, never studying like the other maids. A normal academy? With her potential and hard study, she might scrape by. But I was headed to the empire's Arcade Academy—extreme meritocracy, where even educated nobles flunked the practicals and written exams.

How likely was Lianne, unprepared in both, to pass? Her past practical had lucked out on mana potential; no guarantee it'd repeat.

Knock knock.

As she stared at the floor, speechless, a knock came from behind me.

"Young Master, may I enter?"

I didn't recognize the voice, but I could guess who.

"Yeah, come in."

The door opened, and a rose appeared before me.

"I'm Rain Astral of the Astral earldom. I've been ordered to serve as your personal maid starting today."

Her deep red hair contrasted sharply with Lianne's blue, their vibes opposites too. Bold and confident Rain versus timid, easily embarrassed Lianne.

Bad matchup.

"Eek!!"

Lianne shuddered and groaned at Rain's greeting. Hard to feel warmly toward her replacement, but I hoped she'd let it go. I never wanted to be deceived again.

"You probably know, but I'm Lian Primal. Nice to meet you."

"Yes, Young Master."

After a light handshake with Rain, I glanced back at Lianne. A small puddle on the floor—she'd cried again.

"Could... could you take me to the academy too?"

"I told you, failed servants have limited access."

"...I'll stay only in your dorm."

Stubborn. Hard to believe this was the girl who'd fallen for some adventurer at a tavern and left in my last life.

"Look—"

"Wouldn't it be fine?"

Rain cut in; Lianne's face soured, but for me, it was a chance to gauge her skills.

"Her housework is excellent. Laundry, cooking, cleaning—she handles Primal family duties despite being a commoner, so no issue bringing her."

"But if we do, what ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠about dorm space?"

"From my research, even B-rank dorms have two rooms."

"Is that so...?"

I hadn't trained properly yet, but I'd slain the Demon King twice. No holy sword from the dungeon slumber, but experience remained. Study hard, build my body—A-rank was easy.

"Then leave Lianne to you, Rain."

"Understood. You'll apply to the swordsmanship department, yes?"

"Yeah. But isn't the Astral family known for magic?"

"It's fine. My sister, the next head, inherits the magic. Besides, the family head knows your sword training—he wouldn't send a mage."

True. Father was too coldly rational for mistakes.

"Then you teach her studies. I know enough swordsmanship to help."

"Of course. I'll teach her to the best of my abilities, humble as they are."

Her skill, cool-headedness, straightforward confidence—I liked it all. As I smiled down at Rain, Lianne silently wept, trembling to hold back tears, saying nothing.

I noticed but said nothing. Wiping her tears and comforting her had always returned only bitter betrayal and deceit, my experiences proved.