I Just Want to Live Normally
"How am I supposed to keep Ceres pinned down at the academy."
Unlike ordinary engagements exchanged between families, the crown prince was granted the right to choose. From baronet families to marquess houses, even princesses from other kingdoms—they all gathered at the imperial palace to flaunt their talents and beauty, getting filtered through several rounds until the crown prince himself picked his fiancée. That meant there was a reasonable grace period before the engagement was finalized.
People from other kingdoms needed time to prepare for the journey to the empire, and the daughters with various talents required time to hone their unique abilities.
"About... a month, roughly."
Honestly, it was a tight timeline, but from my position—where I just needed to block Ceres—it was more than enough, overflowing even. The only way for Ceres to leave the academy was through a complicated procedure... So, the key was to sabotage that process entirely.
"...Yeah, that's impossible."
But for me, without a solid foothold inside the academy yet, it was too much. I had some connection with Leina, but dumping this on her right after she became student council president, when she was swamped? With the Reinhardt family's pressure and all the backroom bribes, it wouldn't even get properly blocked—it'd just pass through.
"Kidnapping and confinement?"
I personally thought it was a good idea. But Minel was the issue.
"There's no way I could hide something about Ceres in front of Minel."
There might be no ties between the Iris and Reinhardt families, but Ceres and Minel were way too close. One side offered trust and affection, the other dependence—a slightly mismatched pair of emotions—but the fact that they cared for each other didn't change.
"Hmm..."
It seemed persuadable... but Minel cherished Ceres, yet she had no real connection to the Reinhardt family. The phrasing just felt off. For Minel, still steeped in rigid principles, Ceres held a position more important than most royal heirs to the throne. Just mentioning kidnapping could have her sword at my throat, and it wouldn't be weird.
"No, this guy's username and content are both completely unhinged?"
If I planned a kidnapping without convincing Minel, I'd need a full month to prepare: build alibis step by step, find a separate place to hide Ceres. Sealing her mana points would make regular restraints enough. Plus soundproofing magic scrolls for emergencies, robes and masks to hide her body and face. For a perfect crime, the to-do list never ended.
I've actually done kidnappings before, so I knew the details. It takes way more effort than you'd think. Not like in novels where a few guys rush in, nab someone, and ta-da~! perfect crime. No such thing.
"First off, without handling the mana, it'd be too easy to get caught."
Natural residual mana lingers. Most people can't identify someone from it alone, but skilled mages can pinpoint locations from trace remnants and even trigger remote spells via backtracking.
"Right now... I can't even properly mask my residual mana, so I'd need multiple magic tools to scatter every last speck."
Even then, someone like Skaya could figure it out instantly, but she wouldn't bother with something like this. If she did get involved, it'd only be for fun—she might come asking if it sounded entertaining, but she wouldn't interfere directly.
"Guess I'll talk to Minel first."
If I could persuade her, great—do it together. If not, at least get her to promise not to interfere.
As I entered the auditorium, most of the mages had apparently moved to another hall. It was just me, Rain, and Minel swinging her sword off in the distance.
"You're here."
"Got some business. You kept swinging your sword away from Ceres on purpose?"
"No, I finished eating with the young miss and was warming up my body."
"Wanna spar then? I can't use mana, so it won't be a one-sided beatdown like the entrance exam."
Plus, I had stuff to say anyway.
"Oho, sure. Training alone was getting a bit boring anyway."
Minel sheathed her sword and stepped back a bit. The auditorium was spacious with no obstacles, so keeping distance anywhere made a decent sparring ring.
"Rain, mind reffing?"
"Understood."
I tossed off my outer coat, drew the sword at my side, and was about to take stance when—
"That's far enough!"
A grating voice rang out. Sigh, what was that coward up to today? I turned with a bored expression, and there was Zenovia in her pure white knight garb, glaring at me and Minel while pointing and yelling.
"Live blade spars are forbidden for personal reasons!!"
"It's not a fight, it's sparring."
"Quiet! You think that excuse will fly?!"
Ugh, shut up. At Zenovia's racket, Minel and I exchanged looks, sighed, relaxed our stances, and had no choice but to obey. Teacher or not, our grades were in her hands. I didn't care, but Minel had her own life to live.
"Due to Professor Terion's personal circumstances today, I'll be leading as assistant professor."
"..."
Today's a wash. Could Zenovia even teach proper swordsmanship? I personally thought no way. She was probably the weakest of the three here—not weird to rank her lowest. A-grade students might beat her since they made knight squads, but taking on all three of us? Impossible.
It's not about sending trust—it's that I have to do something to believe in people at all.
Think of it as a defense mechanism. I extend trust first. Even if betrayed, I give some faith upfront... then classify them as someone who doesn't deserve kindness anymore.
If I don't, I won't believe humans exist... Moving on the premise of betrayal means I can't trust anyone, living in constant suspicion and paranoia—that terrifies me. Will that guy backstab me? Will that girl abandon me? Are those people plotting to ditch me? Endless worry, fear, anxiety—it just crumbles an already fractured mind faster.
Once broken, desperate not to break again, I chose to classify people. This one's a 'betrayer.' This one's 'good.' This one's 'okay.' This one's 'not.' Sorting them in my head.
I know full well this is wrong. Judging others' good or evil based on other worldlines' memories is arrogant, inhuman.
But what can I do? If I'd just drowned in suspicion, I wouldn't have reached this final life—my mind would've collapsed, and I'd have chosen eternal sleep already. I know all too well how to cast a soul-destroying suicide spell.
But regrets lingered. Connecting with them mattered, but... I just wanted a happy life. Blindly trusting this anxiety-inducing system like it's divine law. Not resenting you gods who made it. Extending faith to an uncertain future. All of it—just acts I force myself into until I can live happily in this last life.
I have no clue what the gods are on about, but whatever—ignore it. I'll just live this normal, happy life as is. No need to reject the system and become some hero, let alone a godslayer opposing them. I'll live plainly, indifferently ignoring the women who abandoned me, properly educating my deranged sister to minimize casualties, listening to my parents a bit, graduating the academy decently. Then live as plain old Lian—no hero, saint, or ducal head nonsense.
So endure. Just get through this moment, live as a mere adventurer or mercenary instead of a hero...
"Are you listening, Lian Primal!!"
Clap────!!