Chapter 44
Chapter 44
Ch. 44 .｡.:✧ Fragments of Memory (2) ✧:.｡.
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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: FusionX
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“He’s not there? Not anywhere? Not in the entire northern region?”
My heavy anxiety gradually became reality.
The events from a year in the future felt like yesterday, and yesterday felt like the very day we promised to wed.
But why?
Why wasn’t Yoo-jin by my side now?
“Ha……”
Yoo-jin was gone.
Nowhere to be found.
All the photos we took together had vanished.
Even when I buried my nose in the bedding and sniffed, I couldn’t catch his scent.
No matter how thoroughly I searched the entire northern region or inquired around, I couldn’t find him at all.
“My Lady. It seems there really is no such person……”
“That can’t be! Search more thoroughly!!!”
As if he had never existed in the first place.
As if I had dreamed it all.
Yet Yoo-jin’s touch caressing my ears felt so vivid.
I could almost smell his scent right in front of my nose.
There was so much evidence within me that he had been by my side.
But everyone just kept repeating that such a person didn’t exist.
“Do you still not believe me?”
“Of course not. I definitely believe you, My Lady.”
“Don’t lie! You don’t believe me! It’s true! I said I saw the future! Should I prove it? In July, so a month from now! A big fire will break out at Charon’s house! Two months later, it will snow for an entire week! Three months later, Yoo-jin’s boots will be completed! Within that month, Yoo-jin will confess his love to me! Just watch carefully! Everything I say will be correct!”
“Yes. I believe you……”
Everyone just kept saying they believed me, believed me, believed me……
Cut the bullshit.
No one believed me.
They all thought I had gone crazy.
They thought I was making up a person who didn’t exist.
But Yoo-jin really existed.
He had existed.
That sculpted face was still vivid in my memory… Huh?
“I can’t see it. I can’t see Yoo-jin’s face……”
It was becoming blurry.
Yoo-jin’s face was fading.
Startled, I rushed into my room.
Then I picked up a pencil and started drawing his face on paper.
This wasn’t it.
I tried again.
And again.
Once more……
“Aaaaah……”
My hands wouldn’t cooperate.
I couldn’t transfer the image in my head onto the paper at all.
Even now, Yoo-jin’s face was gradually becoming blurrier.
Before I knew it, the papers scattered across the floor only contained vague, cloud-like silhouettes.
I couldn’t draw Yoo-jin.
It was as if I was fundamentally blocked from transferring the Yoo-jin in my mind to reality.
“Why! Why is this happening!”
It was suffocating.
I couldn’t breathe properly.
Yoo-jin was a real person.
So why did no one believe me?
“Sob……”
When I closed my eyes, the scenery of that day vividly unfolded.
The ice cave, reflecting light in all directions, creating a beautiful glow in the air.
My personal sanctuary that had always brought me peace since childhood.
I stepped into that place together with Yoo-jin.
Removing all the cumbersome armor and scabbards.
Wearing a pure white dress I didn’t usually wear.
Holding Yoo-jin’s hand, I entered deep into the cave.
He whispered words of love in a sweet voice.
He forgave me for doubting him all this time.
We shared tokens of our love on each other’s ring fingers.
The moment our lips finally met.
Time stopped.
Outside the cave, a strange light flashed.
Yoo-jin’s expression stiffened, and he pulled away, turning his back to me.
I wanted to hold onto him.
But my body wouldn’t listen at all.
I wanted to call out and stop him, but no sound came from my throat.
In the end, Yoo-jin left the cave.
My memories ended there.
Because right after that, I returned to a year ago.
At first, I waited.
Until Yoo-jin came to Palana.
Every day, I went out to the snowy mountains, waiting for that naive-looking man who had taken the transcontinental train to appear.
It was from the second month that I realized something was wrong.
Yoo-jin, who should have arrived long ago, was nowhere to be seen.
Could it be that he had already arrived in the north but we had missed each other?
Could he be staying somewhere in the north?
With that thought, I thoroughly searched the north.
I searched for the name Yoo-jin.
I searched for a man who used a strange swordsmanship.
I searched for a man who made me breathless and want to lean on him just by looking at him.
“My Lady. You should stop at this point and attend to national affairs……”
“Who are you to tell me to stop!”
It had been a month of searching.
An entire month passed without any results, without even finding a trace of Yoo-jin.
The thought crossed my mind that he might have been mauled to death by wild animals, although I didn’t want to consider the possibility.
So for about ten days, I turned Palana’s mountainous paths upside down.
I rummaged through every place that smelled of blood and dug up every patch of land that reeked of rotting corpses.
For better or worse, Yoo-jin didn’t turn up.
Then he had to be somewhere.
There should at least be proof of his existence.
But why?
Why had no one seen Yoo-jin?
Why was there not a single record of him?
Everything was exactly the same as in my memories.
Except for the fact that Yoo-jin was not by my side.
Only Yoo-jin had vanished without a trace.
Could it be that what the retainers said was true?
Could it really be that Yoo-jin didn’t exist?
Was I chasing an illusion?
I had such doubts countless times.
I often tried to forget him.
I was sometimes seized by the thought that I had to give up now.
“I can’t give up…… I can’t forget…… How can I forget……”
But I failed every time.
No matter how much I tried to forget, Yoo-jin’s rough yet affectionate touch and gentle voice would come to mind, and I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t let go of the thread of hope.
“Alicia. I’m only telling you this……”
“Yes, yes! What is it? Tell me anything. I was going crazy from frustration because of how strange you’ve been lately, sis.”
“I have a request. Can you find someone for me?”
I had only searched the northern continent so far.
The southern continent was much wider and had a much larger population.
It would be foolish to give up before searching the south.
“He’s tall, has a northern bloodline, and is handsome. Very.”
“Do you have anything more specific?”
“Hmm. He can use a sword, and he’s strong. Really strong.”
“How strong is that?”
“Strong enough to defeat me.”
“Pfft. Are you making fun of me now, sis?”
I carefully selected the people to send.
Only those I could trust.
Only those who wouldn’t betray me even if I revealed my weaknesses to them.
“What’s his name?”
“That’s… It’s not a definite name. He might use different names elsewhere……”
I hesitated to say the name.
In this world where no one knew of Yoo-jin’s existence.
Where only I remembered Yoo-jin.
I felt reluctant to teach Yoo-jin’s name to someone who didn’t even know him.
It was a name I wanted to keep to myself.
A person I wanted to monopolize for myself.
“Ah, so what is it?”
“Yoo-jin……”
However, I mustered my courage and only said the name to a few of my close aides.
And then I dispatched them to various parts of the south.
I sent off those who carried my last hope.
-I’m sorry. The man you described doesn’t seem to be in Hameln.
-Same in Cologne.
-No male matching the conditions found in St. Petenburg.
-Sorry, sis. I couldn’t find the man you’re looking for in Basel.
“Sob……”
Messages arrived one after another from my close aides.
Failure after failure.
My last hope was also denied.
I searched every place Yoo-jin was likely to be.
I even searched places he was unlikely to be.
In the end, although it turned out to be a misunderstanding, I searched places thinking Yoo-jin might have caught the eye of the saintess or a witch, but they were all in vain.
“Where did you go, Yoo-jin……”
That day.
In that fleeting moment when time stopped.
Where did Yoo-jin go when he left me?
With a resolute expression as if he had made a decision, where did he go to do what?
As I pondered while curled up on the bed, I suddenly thought of a chilling possibility.
“Ah……”
Could it be?
What if this was all Yoo-jin’s decision?
What if Yoo-jin chose to disappear on his own?
That absurd possibility pieced itself together.
What did Yoo-jin say back then?
What were his last words?
‘I thought about it a lot. It wasn’t just once or twice that our relationship had issues, but I reflected on it each time. Did I really do nothing wrong?’
At the time, I didn’t find it strange, but thinking about it now, it was an out-of-the-blue remark.
All my suspicions of Yoo-jin were misunderstandings caused by my obsessive jealousy.
Yoo-jin had never once apologized to me before.
Yet Yoo-jin suddenly apologized.
As if he was facing his end.
As if he was about to die, he said something he had never said to me before.
‘In the end, I came to the conclusion that it’s a burden we have to carry together. No matter what happens, I want to be with you forever, Yerina. Will you marry me?’
I thought it was simply a vow of love.
I thought it had no significant meaning.
But now, as I examine each word carefully, it was quite meaningful.
I want to be with you forever.
Right after leaving those words, Yoo-jin left the cave with a resolute expression, disappearing into the frozen time.
He vanished from my side.
A contradictory action.
The meaning of that was now clear.
“You’re telling me to find you……”
Find me.
That’s what it meant.
Because he believed in me.
Because he believed that even if everyone else forgot about him, I alone would remember and come find him.
That’s why he could make such a cruel decision.
“I’ll find you. I’ll find you no matter what. Wait for me, Yoo-jin. I’ll come save you soon……”
I had no idea where Yoo-jin was.
Perhaps he was in a place I physically couldn’t find.
Maybe he was left in the cracks of frozen time.
Nevertheless, I couldn’t give up.
Because I would find a way somehow.
No matter what it took, I would bring Yoo-jin back.
I would be in his arms once again……
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