Chapter 145
Chapter 145
Ch. 145 .｡.:✧ What it Means to Face Someone (2) ✧:.｡.
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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: FusionX
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“…Hungry.”
“I’m starving and exhausted. If you drink my blood now, I might pass out.”
“…Hungry.”
“Are you even listening?”
“…Ahh…”
Undecided clung to my arm, refusing to let go.
I sighed and made a cut on my arm.
I pushed aside the worry of fainting from blood loss and let her feed.
“Adults eat first.”
“…I’m… older…”
“I thought you were eternally thirteen.”
“…Munch, munch…”
“See? You have nothing to say, so you just keep eating. Where did you learn your table manners?”
Undecided stopped, a flicker of melancholy in her red eyes. She closed her eyes, then opened them, and went back to feeding, the brief moment of sadness gone.
“…I… don’t… want to… talk about… home…”
“Okay. I’m sorry.”
“…Yes.”
She would tell me when she was ready. I let it go. But perhaps… that day would never come.
“Mmm! Delicious! It’s always so delicious!”
“Don’t talk with your mouth full. You’re getting blood everywhere.”
“Hee hee. Okay… yawn…”
Undecided grinned, her mouth full of my blood.
Was it really that delicious?
The previous Undecided never gave such reviews.
According to the current Undecided, my blood was an irresistible delicacy, a taste any bloodsucker would crave.
“Woo…?”
“Why are you licking your lips? Go away.”
“Woo…”
After countless questions and much deliberation, I reached a conclusion.
Undecided had lost her memories.
I wasn’t sure of the exact extent, but she seemed to have forgotten everything about her life before becoming a blood ghoul.
Wasn’t the previous Undecided also forgetting things?
No.
She had explicitly stated that she didn’t want to talk about certain topics. Not wanting to talk about something meant she remembered it.
But the current Undecided had completely forgotten.
What had happened last night?
Something had affected all monsters worldwide. But why had some monsters become weaker, while Undecided lost her memories?
At first, I suspected it was taking away the most precious thing from each monster.
Monsters who fought mercenaries valued strength the most, so they lost it. Undecided cherished her memories, so she lost them. But that didn’t explain what happened to Linda.
I quickly abandoned that ridiculous theory and tried a more straightforward approach.
My next hypothesis, the one I thought was closest to the truth, was that it had returned monsters to their normal state.
The monsters’ enhanced strength, granted by Draken’s blessing, had returned to normal. And Linda… this was a chilling thought, but perhaps her artificial soul, created by Draken’s influence, had disappeared, turning her back into an ordinary clockwork doll.
Then what about Undecided?
If my hypothesis was correct, her current state was normal. This cheerful, expressive Undecided was the real her, and the previous stoic, emotionless Undecided was the anomaly.
This must have been her personality before becoming a blood ghoul. Perhaps I was the one being abnormal, clinging to her previous state.
But there was a reason why she had changed after becoming a blood ghoul, a reason why she had gone from a cheerful personality to a gloomy, expressionless one.
It was simple.
She remembered.
Everything about her past.
Come to think of it, her memory had been exceptionally good.
Draken’s power must have cursed her with perfect recall, the curse of never forgetting. And those who couldn’t forget their past were often broken.
She had become emotionally stunted because she couldn’t forget the traumatic events that had changed her.
Last night’s event had normalized her, granting her the blessing of forgetting, the ability to let go of memories, a blessing granted to all humans.
Thanks to this regained ability, she had forgotten her past and become cheerful again, returning to her original personality.
“Undecided.”
“Hmm?”
“Are you happy?”
“Hmm? What kind of question is that? Hmm… I don’t know. I don’t really know what happiness is. But I enjoy being with you, Yoo-jin.”
I didn’t know what she had gone through, but she had erased the traumatic memories that had numbed her emotions and found happiness.
That was the current Undecided.
The Undecided I knew was gone.
The thought made my heart ache.
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“So you came here looking for me? Just like that?”
“Yes.”
“Are you crazy?! I finally made up with my sister, and now you’re here?! What are you trying to-…?”
A rabbit beastman, wearing a hat pulled low over her eyes, glared at me.
Alicia.
She looked at me like I was insane.
I suppose it was a bold move, coming to Yevgenia territory, Yerina’s domain, right after barely escaping her clutches.
Her expression spoke volumes.
She glanced around nervously, then took off her sunglasses, her gaze softening slightly.
“It’s good to see you again. I thought I would never see you again. My sister is in the Southern Continent, so you’re safe for now.”
“I know. I almost got caught by her.”
“Hah! And you came straight to the North? I don’t know if you’re brave or crazy… Which is it? And what’s wrong with your hands?”
“My hands?”
I looked down at my bandaged palms. That’s what she was referring to.
“I’ve been using a sharp sword lately.”
“Are you holding the blade…? No, forget it. I don’t want to know. So, what do you want?”
“Do I need a reason to visit you? Why are you so impatient? Do you need to use the bathroom?”
“Seriously?! How can you be so vulgar…? Haa… I forgot what kind of person you were… …Teasing… everyone… but never… following through…”
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
Alicia mumbled something under her breath, then looked away.
What did she say? Was she insulting me?
“Anyway, it’s dangerous here. I can hide you for now, but if I’m gone too long, they’ll notice. So, unless you’re here to pick flowers, tell me what you want.”
“It’s about her.”
“Hee hee. Long time no see.”
“…Who?”
Alicia frowned at Undecided, who was grinning cheerfully.
I could sense her confusion.
I understood.
I had reacted the same way when I first saw her.
“This is Undecided.”
“Huh? Her? Is she finally broken?”
“Broken?! What are you-?!”
“She’s practically broken.”
“Yoo-jin?!”
“She’s lost her memories. She unconsciously forgot everything about her past. She couldn’t forget anything before.”
I had sent Undecided and Nameless to play elsewhere. I explained the situation to Alicia.
What had happened to the monsters, the change in Undecided, and my desire to restore her memories and turn her back into my reliable Guardian Knight activator.
“That’s… a very selfish way of thinking, you know?”
“I know.”
“If you know… then…! Haa… Never mind. I have a lot to say, but…”
“What is it? Tell me.”
“Remembering everything is painful. It seems Undecided was so traumatized by her past that she lost her emotions and became stoic… Isn’t it a good thing that she’s forgotten and changed?”
Alicia rested her chin on her hand and looked towards a corner of the cafe, where a small play area had been set up.
Undecided and Nameless were playing with the other children, laughing and giggling. She looked just like any other child her age.
“I know this is her normal state.”
“And?”
I hesitated.
I couldn’t bring myself to say,
“Because I need her to activate my Guardian Knight trait.”
It wasn’t because I didn’t want to share information about my trait, it wasn’t my true reason. Alicia had risked a lot to meet me, I had to be honest with her.
“I prefer Undecided when she remembers everything. She’s cheerful and cute now, but… she’s not the Undecided I know. It doesn’t matter which state is happier or more unfortunate. I want the Undecided I know back. I want to be with her. That’s all.”
“Does she want that?”
I was speechless.
Would Undecided want that? To have her repressed memories resurface, to confront her traumatic past, to return to being a lifeless, emotionless being?
“I don’t know. But one thing is certain.”
I wasn’t sure about anything else, but I could say this with absolute certainty.
The memory was hazy, since I had heard it in my sleep, but it wasn’t a dream or an illusion.
During that night when Undecided was writhing in pain, just before she changed, she had whispered to me…
“She didn’t want to leave me.”
…not to forget her.
Her voice had been filled with longing, as if she didn’t want to disappear, as if she wanted to leave her mark on someone’s memory, even if she was gone.
“You’re unbelievable. You want to ruin a perfectly good blood ghoul’s life for your own selfish desires?”
“Yes. I want to ruin it. I want to ruin it and be with her.”
“Hee…”
Alicia, who had been frowning, suddenly burst into laughter, as if she had been holding it back.
“Aha ha… I’m sorry. You’ve changed. You would have made some excuse about the greater good or something… You’ve become so honest.”
“It’s easier this way.”
“And I can’t refuse such an honest request for help. Okay. I’ll be your accomplice.”
“Do you know a way? A way to restore her memories?”
“I don’t. But I know an expert in this field. Here.”
Alicia handed me a business card.
-White Magic Tower Master, Temulen.
An Eastern name. It felt strangely familiar.
“He’s the best at manipulating memories. Tell him I sent you… Ugh! This will leave a trace! My sister will find out! Whatever! Just tell him you were referred by me!”
There was a way.
The thought made my emotions surge. I stood up and took Alicia’s hand.
“Thank you, Alicia. Thank you so much.”
“Ah! W-Wait… your hand… is… too… Ah… too late…”
Alicia’s face flushed crimson. And then I heard a hissing sound.
Ah… she did need to use the bathroom.
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