Chapter 15: The Wonders of Brontes
Kumpa had never been so flustered in his life. The spaceship was enormous, vast, and bewilderingly complex.
That was why he stuck to my side like glue. After all, he had boarded this vessel solely to protect me, so there was nothing strange about it.
Locals in military uniforms strolled through the corridors, but the rumor that we were guests brought by Baron Retenberg spread quietly enough that no one dared confront us. They simply stared with wide eyes, as if they had never seen a primitive being before.
Occasionally, brave officers would approach and speak to me in a language that sounded like nothing I had ever heard. I had to wonder if they truly believed that thousands of primitive planets existed in space, each with its own unique tongue.
“I’m afraid I don’t understand. Would you mind speaking in Imperial?”
When I answered in flawless Imperial, their faces froze in shock.
“W-what? A primitive can speak Imperial?”
“Yes. Though it’s only a small tribe, I’ve learned a little.”
“…”
Before long, I had become the center of attention aboard the ship.
The soldiers dared not speak to me freely, of course—Retenberg’s name was terrifying—but the officers would approach one by one, asking where I had come from, what the planet was like, how we lived. When I described life on my primitive world, they gathered around with sparkling eyes, hanging on every word.
“So the men hunt wild animals and the women gather wild fruits?”
“Yes. Before we adopted proper farming methods, that’s how we lived. I grew up that way.”
“Then now you farm?”
“Yes. We grow wheat on a massive scale. The bread we received this morning was made from the wheat we harvested ourselves.”
“So the master of this delicious wheat is you?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
I smiled and nodded.
Their expressions turned even more stunned.
“I heard on TV that people eat each other when they’re starving. Is that true?”
“I swear on my conscience that my tribe has never done such a thing.”
“Hoo… so it was just media exaggeration…”
“But right next door, the Wild Dog Tribe often did it, according to what I heard directly from prisoners. It’s probably true.”
“…”
The officers looked horrified.
“When starvation is the only option, people will do anything. That’s true for primitives and civilized people alike. Please consider that the Wild Dog Tribe’s actions weren’t caused by the absence of conscience or civilization, but by circumstance. Every human being carries a shadow in their heart.”
“…”
For the civilized people of the 4700s, the idea that humans could eat other humans was so shocking that no one could speak for a long time.
But the moment they heard the next line, I realized they had to be thinking something else entirely.
“You’re a primitive, right?”
“He speaks Imperial better than me…”
“So there are universities on primitive planets too?”
Their surprise had a different cause.
-----
For the next month, life was surprisingly comfortable.
We never joined the soldiers in training or duties. Instead, we stayed in a special cabin on the ship.
Kumpa followed me everywhere as my bodyguard. As for my daily routine…
“So that’s how it was. The Wild Dog Tribe charged in with over a hundred warriors. We pretended to resist, led them away, and then fired the flares I bought from a space merchant into the sky…”
“Ooooh…”
“Then the bombardment began. Despite their numerical advantage, the Wild Dog Tribe…”
“Ohoora…”
My days consisted mostly of regaling the gathered officers with stories. Mostly about my homeland, my tribe, and our wars. Men, regardless of time or place, loved hearing about battles.
“I never imagined such fighting could happen on a planet we don’t know. Do you think I could file a report, soldier?”
He emphasized the word “soldier” with a smirk. He was clearly trying to remind everyone that we were soldiers and officers now.
“Ah, yes. No problem. Just keep our planet’s code, name, and coordinates anonymous.”
“Understood, soldier. Then I’ll be going.”
“Yes.”
“Rise.”
The officers stood as one, and I could only slump back down.
“I feel like I’ve turned into a zoo monkey.”
“What? Did you say something, Chief?”
“I said I feel like a zoo monkey.”
“Ah, so that’s what you meant by Imperial just now?”
“…”
“Did I just speak Imperial?”
“Of course. I was surprised you’d started muttering in Imperial too.”
“Really?”
In such a short time, I had apparently forgotten how to speak my native tongue. The language I had learned since birth, the primitive language of my people.
So should I speak to myself in the original language of my birth?
Then shouldn’t I have been speaking Korean in the first place?
Where did I belong? Was I a civilized person or a savage? Where did I fit in?
These thoughts swirled endlessly. After much deliberation, we finally arrived at the planet Brontes.
-----
When we landed on Brontes:
“Soldiers, listen well. Even after landing on a planet, never forget that you are Imperial soldiers. Always maintain your dignity. Understood?”
“Yes!”
A stern-looking officer walked away, and one soldier shouted.
“Woo-hoo~ Vacation time~”
“Waaaaaaaah!!!”
“Alcohol! Women!”
The soldiers scattered in every direction at lightning speed. I turned to Kumpa.
“Kumpa.”
“What is it, Chief?”
“No matter what happens from now on, don’t show how shocked you are. It might make you seem rude to the people. Got it?”
“What? I have a strong heart, Chief. Don’t worry.”
“Really? Then it’s fine.”
As I said that, I stepped out through the hatch.
“Waaaaaaaah!!! What is it, Chief! What’s that! A fox is walking on two legs wearing clothes!!!”
“Kumpa, stop pointing! That’s rude! That fox is a sapient being too!”
Kumpa’s shouting made the fox’s already displeased expression even more sour. It raised its middle finger—well, its forefinger—and in fluent Imperial, spat, “Eat shit, you primitives!” before storming off. Kumpa kept yelling even after the fox disappeared.
“Waaaaaaaah!!! That person has green skin! It’s huge! Amazing!”
“You’re even bigger, you idiot.”
“M-mushroom? A mushroom walks on two legs! What is that, Chief! Can I eat it?”
“If you eat it, you’ll go to prison.”
Fungoids weren’t killed by eating, and the eaten parts could even regrow, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t a crime of injury.
Kumpa, who had been boasting about his strong heart, was now yelling nonstop since arriving on Brontes. Every time, the Brontes aliens he targeted either looked startled or angry and fled. Given his massive size, they probably just wanted to avoid a fight.
“Haa, I should have known this would happen…”
This was the worst kind of nuisance. I gave Kumpa one last warning.
“Kumpa. To you, they might look like strange beasts or plants, but they’re all sapient beings. Imperial law recognizes them as such. If you want to be respected, you have to respect them first. Don’t yell. Don’t gape. Even if you’re really shocked, keep it to yourself.”
“Ah, I understand, Chief. My bad.”
From then on, Kumpa stopped yelling, but he still stared in wonder everywhere he went and kept getting treated like a country bumpkin.
So where did we go with this Kumpa?
The answer was simple.
-Ding!
“Ah, customers. Sorry, but we’re not open for business yet. Come back later…”
“Ah, I’m not a customer.”
“Then who are you?”
I handed him the pouch I had brought. With a clatter, the flour pouch dropped onto the table.
“This pouch contains finely milled wheat flour. Will you make bread with it?”
“What? Sorry, but we already have a supplier for flour…”
“I’m not looking to supply. I’m a wheat farmer. I want to make bread from this flour and give it away for free to promote wheat. I heard this bakery does the best around here.”
“…”
“We do have pride in our baking skills, but…”
He looked troubled for a moment before answering.
“Sorry, but we’re not open for another hour. We don’t have time to make extra bread. Could you leave?”
“I’ll give you fifty shillings.”
“Just make a little more!”
He took the flour and went inside. An hour later, we received a whole bag of bread.