Awkward
The word awkward perfectly captured the current atmosphere.
We'd poured our hearts out to each other, officially recruiting Shae as a hero party member once more—and that had been great. But sincerity packs a punch, and its aftermath is no joke. This silence was just fucking awkward.
Too late, I was hit with secondhand embarrassment from my own words, something cringey in between, leaving me speechless. Shae was probably reeling from the aftershocks of baring her body like that.
But jumping up and bolting out? This was my tent. To break the awkwardness, she'd have to leave—but instead of going, she lay back down on the floor. For whatever reason.
'Getting our bond back on track is good, but sleeping like this isn't healthy.'
All we had were the cheapest tents you could buy in Seilroom—barely enough to block the wind and keep ground moisture at bay.
In a tent like that, you'd need to sprawl out comfortably to rest properly. But with someone else there, curling up stiffly in the corner to avoid touching skin? No real rest possible.
It was awkward as hell to bring up, but for her condition, I forced the words out.
"Shae. Uh, if we're done talking, maybe you should rest easy now?"
"Yes, you're right."
She got the hint. Thank god.
Phew. At least one worry's off my mind—she should rest better now.
But even after waiting what felt like over a minute, Shae was still lying there.
"Shae?"
"Did you know? No one's ever seen my back. Not even Kaya sis."
"Oh, uh, really?"
"Not the fellow crusaders I trained with, not my master. No one—man or woman. And touching it goes without saying."
Ah, excluding handshakes or light hugs in armor, obviously. She hurriedly added it like she'd forgotten a key detail, but I still didn't get it. What was she getting at?
Then came the sound of fabric scraping the floor—the noise something makes when dragged across it. I was lying still, so it had to be Shae again.
"So I've always slept alone."
Her voice sounded a bit closer.
"Which means if I sleep here tonight, you're the first person I've ever shared a bed with as an adult."
"What about the inn with Kaya?"
"I slept alone on the bed."
True. But how the hell did things flow into this?
"I don't want to make things hard for you, Captain. I'll just lie here."
That's the problem—you can't rest easy.
"Just with you and Kaya sis... I want to endure a light shoulder pat. Someday, I want to get so used to it that it feels normal."
Admirable effort, but...
"Calling it 'enduring' already makes it inappropriate. No need to force something so tough."
"I want to."
"Why?"
"You're the only one who's embraced all of me and vowed to see it through to the end."
Scraaape—the sound came again as she inched closer.
"Everyone else judged me by my looks and background. 'Justitia's crusader.' 'She looks decent enough on the outside.' But to them, I was just a money-maker for a quick score. It didn't match my drive to smash heretics and dive deep."
Her voice was even closer now.
"Even in the church, they treated me like a half-abandoned kid. Too radical. Too one-track in devotion to the goddess. Only my master, the crusader captain, understood me. Without her, I might've quit midway."
"Hmm."
"I had to wear a mask. Act. People predict and expect based on my looks, then get disappointed on their terms. Living like that... then someone says no mask needed, no acting—just join me in what you want. How could I not want to get close?"
Another scoot closer. I could faintly feel her breath.
"You swore you'd hold this me to the end."
"Well..."
"Can't I?"
I scratched my head furiously. Just practicing light skin contact—what's the harm? Problem was, I was exhausted. But thinking of her mustering lifetime courage, I dug deep for patience.
"Here."
"...!!"
I shifted inward from the corner, groped beside me, and grabbed Shae's hand. She turned into a wooden doll again.
"Handshake was fine, right?"
"Th-this, this isn't a h-handshake! It's h-hand-holding?!"
Her hand shook worse than a phone on vibrate—fear reaction or self-restraint? No telling.
Ah, her hand's vibrating so bad I can't even hold it right.
"Shae."
"Y-yes, h-hiii?"
"No kicking or punching, okay? I warned you."
"Eh? C-Captain? What are you—ah."
I pulled her into a light hug—one arm around her shoulders, hand behind her neck. Natural.
"Hah, hah, hah, hah."
Up close, her body was rigid, damp hot breath on my neck.
Damn, is this a real phobia?
Her breathing sounded like she might hyperventilate into panic. I pushed her away gently to separate...
She didn't budge. She'd grabbed my chest.
"Shae. You okay?"
"Hah, hah, hah."
"Shae?"
"I feel like I'm going insane. Heart's pounding so fast, breathing's too shallow. So..."
"Just pull back first!"
"If I back off now, it'll be even harder next time...!"
Why this far? Unpredictable. Kaya hadn't said anything weird.
I patted her back, guiding deep breaths.
"Suuuup—haaa."
"Suuuup—fuuu."
Her heartbeat thundered, but she wouldn't leave my side. Still stiff, but not vibrating like a phone anymore.
I kept patting gently. Until she slept.
"I get what sis meant now. A little."
Confirming the man before her asleep, Shae suppressed the urge to flee and clung closer instead.
"You're a truly amazing person."
My whole body felt heavy. I slept, barely, but not refreshed. Like camping in midwinter training.
One word: shit.
Once through Zone 1, I'd upgrade our tents with the rewards—higher difficulty meant better payouts.
Shae must've woken first.
I tidied my hair and stepped out. My two comrades were rekindling the fire and prepping food.
"Ah, Captain. You're up."
"Captain? Sleep well?"
"Yeah. You two?"
Business as usual. Shae acted like nothing happened. Perfect—this was the vibe I wanted.
Imperfect sleep was still rest—mentality had recovered nicely. And we had one more chance: eating.
Just melted solid soup and dry rations, but dipped in hot soup, it was decent when hungry. Combat rations—edible.
Post-meal check: stamina up 25% of max, mentality +10 more. We'd packed plenty of food—key, since even in The Long Terror, short rations at rest spots could wipe recovery.
After cleanup and prep, we stood at the rest area's exit. Rested—time to push on.
"No more rest spots till the zone boss. This might be our last."
"Understood."
"We're good!"
Kaya and Shae—no pre-rest gloom. Clearly re-energized, if not fully.
Lesson learned. Beyond the numbers, my mental walls felt sturdier.
"Let's go."
"Yes, Captain!"
No one's perfect. That's why we have comrades—to prop up weaknesses. Like me with Kaya in run 1, them with me in run 2. We overcome and advance.
Screeech—leaving the less eerie rest area, the dungeon air hit rough. Not colder, just the vibe. No one shivered. Rest and food fueled the heroes.
A hopeful light burns before the heroes.
We pressed on without hesitation. Peak condition—push hard. Kept magic torch above 50 brightness, watched traps. Smooth sailing.
Kaya avoided a trap.
The hero gains a bit of confidence.
Kaya Mentality +2
Nice mentality bump.
Branch or next room due any minute.
Over 30 minutes since leaving 1-4. Passages lengthen post-room, but our pace was faster—something should've appeared.
"Captain."
"Yeah."
There. Shae up front spotted it, stepping aside and pointing.
We looked: junk and long papers scattered.
No way—a Divine Word Scripture?
In The Long Terror, these were books/papers where horror worshippers analyzed mainstream doctrines against theirs for deeper cult study. Low-chance elite-room/elite-passage find.
"Trap?"
"Papers and books in a passage center? Suspicious."
"But sis, it's blocking the way."
"Hmm..."
Scriptures: usually ignored. High madness risk—instant negative trait.
Orthodox doctrines alone? Harmless. But laced with horror cult BS—reading corrupts mind, twists personality variably. Canon.
Normally, skip the trash. But hesitating now because...
Crusader and battle vestal—both cleric classes, holy water stocked.
We weren't desperate.
"Check it close-up. No monsters."
"Yes, Captain."
High madness risk, but successful exorcism? Buff to next room, low-chance positive trait. Cleric + holy water? Worst case burns the book—no madness.
Let's juice the momentum.
Scratch that lottery ticket.