Preparation (3): Shattering Her Doubts
Gulp— Even though I'd just swallowed moments ago, more saliva was pooling in my mouth. Kaya's breath, her hair, and her scent were turning me into Pavlov's dog.
'At least Pavlov's dog got multiple experiments.'
"Uh… Kaya. You're too close."
"…Yes."
I carefully parted my lips to speak, worried my breath might brush her face, but her response carried a hint of regret. I couldn't tell if it was real or just my imagination—frustrating enough to drive me mad.
"What do you mean I'm your fate… exactly?"
"…."
Asking with the coward's heart equipped as my Han Yujin passive, I got no reply from Kaya. I sneaked a glance her way, and she wore an expression like she wasn't sure if she had to say it outright.
"Ah, no. Forget it if it's hard to answer. I get the reason. So, basically, as long as I keep diving into the dungeon, you'll come with me, right? Yeah?"
"…."
Come on, I just neatly summarized it for you—why no answer, Kaya!
"Anyway, I don't know what you think you did wrong, but by my standards, you haven't done anything wrong. And I see you as a comrade, so unless you just can't stomach it and bolt…."
"Captain, what did you think when you saw my body?"
"…Huh?"
It felt like someone had smacked the back of my head hard. What did Kaya just say?
"Captain, what did you think when you saw my body?"
"Uh, s-sorry. I didn't mean to look."
"Not the unavoidable situation—I want to hear your thoughts. About seeing my body."
"W-Well…."
There was a persistent edge to it, but since Kaya had brought up the unavoidable situation herself, maybe it was okay to be honest?
"Beautiful… arousing… perfectly shaped?"
"…."
"Um, sorry. Even so, saying that feels kinda off, right?"
"Wasn't it filthy?"
"What?"
"Wasn't it vulgar?"
There wasn't a trace of embarrassment on Kaya's face. She was still deadly serious… desperate, even. It was like she was pleading for my words, my thoughts, to be true.
Plus, Kaya's self-esteem wasn't just low—it bordered on self-loathing. This was bad.
"No, why would you—?"
"The reason I apologized to you, Captain, is because I showed my body to you so carelessly. My filthy body might have dirtied your eyes and troubled your heart."
The opposite. Far from dirtying my eyes, it had purified them. Sure, my heart had been troubled in a different way. But filthy body? I had no idea what she meant.
Even as I shook my head in denial, Kaya's self-loathing didn't stop.
"You're kind, Captain. You're sparing my feelings, telling me I'm not filthy. But you don't have to go that far. You avoided looking at me too, didn't you?"
"…Ha?"
"When I came out of the bath, you closed your eyes and stepped back. Even so, for the dungeon dives, for your comrade, you're hiding your disgust and showing consideration to the end. I'm impressed by your words and actions. So please, don't burden yourself with needless lies."
So that's what she thought…. My instinctive retreat from her body's overwhelming allure had apparently triggered another trauma.
She avoids because it's dirty. But she's lying kindly for her dungeon comrade. That was Kaya's conviction.
Hoo. Hey, you bastard who dropped me here—whatever you are. Shouldn't 'highest difficulty' include shit like this? The dungeon's spiking in hardness is one thing, your conscience seems long gone, but now comrades give me headaches too? That's why you added the relationship system? Fine. Great.
I might be a total novice at this, but framing it as a step to clear the dungeon gave me a weird surge of confidence.
Yeah. My first comrade, a Tier 2 Battle Vestal—gotta prevent her from glomming onto masochism or irredeemable self-loathing traits.
To prevent that:
- Her body is dirty. That's why I avoided it. I had to uproot this conviction from the core.
- Your body isn't dirty at all. If anything, you're too alluring. To flip her trauma-born self-deprecation here, I'd need to push hard.
Beating around the bush with token apologies and comfort would just cement her mindset forever.
'Can't let that happen. Can't leave a pus-filled bomb to fester.'
I stood, looking down at Kaya instead. This dynamic was new for her—she visibly flustered.
I drew my face closer without a word. She turned her head aside, speaking in a rush.
"C-Captain. Y-You can't do this. If my words burdened you with guilt or obligation…!"
"What's this?"
"Pardon?"
"I said, what's this?"
"Th-That is…."
"You said I can't do this. What can't I do?"
I leaned in closer. Now my inhale brushed her cheek. Her hair quivered faintly.
"M-My body is filthy! If you're doing this out of responsibility, guilt, or rebellion because of what I said, then even now—"
"Embarrassing to admit, but it's my first time."
"Huh?"
A weird, funny reaction. It eased the tension coiling in my body as I acted.
"Seeing a pretty girl like you up close—first time. Talking this much—first. Fighting side-by-side with lives on the line—first. Seeing your body—first. All of it."
Kaya's eyes widened as she took in my confession. No wonder. In this medieval-ish world, admitting zero experience at my age? Unbelievable—especially with a normal face and body.
Of course, who knows how much the original Hendrick wrecked or if he was a fellow virgin like me.
"Avoided because it's dirty? No. Your body was too pretty to get close. I was scared I'd mess up if I kept looking. I don't know how to handle women. Keep staring, and as a guy, I'd get aroused inevitably. You're a precious comrade—can't screw up."
"Precious…."
She latched onto my lip-service word. Whatever. Focus on rewriting her perception first.
"Kaya. If you're okay with it, I want to prove your words wrong from now on… that okay?"
'Agh! What the fuck is this idiot mouth saying!'
I regretted it instantly, but Kaya's eyes were already unfocused, out of it.
…Nod.
Her tiny nod, and instead of my trembling hands, I covered her completely with my body.
Her held-breath gasp rang loud.
'F-Fuck, what is this sensation.'
I wore only a thin shirt; she, seemingly just her sincere nun's habit. Skin-to-skin through cloth felt alien, soft enough to swear it was bare. My head spun. Hands shook harder.
'I'm insane. Fuck, insane.'
Is this why experienced guys laugh and call novices pussies? But how could I not? Just brushing through clothes, and I'm thrilled, trembling, loving it.
But easing my excitement alone? No different from jerking off. Priority one: Fix her trauma misunderstanding.
I even used my own inexperience tremors.
"Kaya. See? I'm so nervous. Hugging a pretty girl like you lightly has me aroused to the brink of madness."
"…."
"Not proof enough?"
She nodded still. Y-Yeah. This might look like gritted-teeth endurance of filth.
Next step, then.
I reached out, touching her cheek.
"…Ah."
Soft. Supple. Impulse to pinch suppressed; other hand cupped the opposite cheek. Her small face nearly vanished in my palms.
"This?"
Nod— Even cheeks gripped, she nodded.
Right. Whole body earlier; cheeks ain't much.
Deep breath. Face to face. Lips met softly.
Her eyes ballooned impossibly. Pupils quaked like an earthquake. Ears twitched. Breath halted. Time froze; I savored her soft lips… bullshit, fought the urge to rip off her habit right then.
A clumsy first kiss, barely qualifying.
"Aah…!"
Lips parted; sweet moan escaped her. Voice that stiffened me below.
Sip— Hoo— Eyes met again.
"This?"
"…Yes. Still… not enough."
No nod—instead, certain tone, staring. Eyes gently closed.
I covered her lips again. Braver, tongue out. Tapped her sealed lips; shyly, they parted slightly.
But no advance. Door cracked, tongue slipped in, shyly greeting her hidden one.
We both gasped at the soft, squishy, lewd texture—no biting mishap.
Hers passive, mine clumsy. Didn't matter. Our space, our pleasure.
My tongue grew bolder; hers responded more. Soft muscles, once for talk and food, now slick with saliva, tangled obscenely.
Slurrrp…!
Excitement forgot breathing; breath trouble ended our deep kiss—felt like 10+ minutes.
Her arms clutched my back; my thighs pinned her lower body.
Room filled with our ragged breaths.
"…This?"
Speaking, I sensed it was the last question. No clue my face, but probably horny dog.
Luckily, Kaya matched.
"Yes. Still… not enough."
She pulled my head, smiling faintly.
"Prove my words wrong… completely wrong. Captain."