Prologue - The Protagonist's Mother Has More Lewd Pics Than the Heroine
I often think about it, but children's cartoons and anime tend to have ridiculously over-the-top settings. They throw out absurd premises without a second thought. Like aliens descending to dominate the world through soccer, or tops that grow from the ground and get harvested for tournaments. Or how the world's most popular toy, one that can flip the entire setting on its head, is cultivated in a seaside farm. And then there are those worlds where the outcome of a simple card game decides literally everything.
Whatever the case, if it's a children's anime, those elements are dialed up to eleven. These days the production teams seem aware of it too, deliberately leaning into the exaggeration. I actually loved that kind of brain-melting nonsense. Even after becoming an adult with a job, I'd still hunt down those shows and collect the cards, doing things that really weren't age-appropriate.
So why am I suddenly rambling about all this? The answer is simple.
"I summon Black Sniper! I'll attack you with this guy!"
"Uwaaaaaah!!!"
──Because it feels like I've been thrown straight into one of those "children's card anime."
My name is Lee Baek. A thirty-something man whose various troubles with women delayed his first real job, causing no small amount of hardship. On a rare day off, I brought up the topic of playing cards with my old friends, only to receive these replies:
…Yeah. Everyone had either quit or moved on. The group chat had been filled with talk of some new TCG instead of our usual topics, so I had a feeling. Sure enough, I got completely shut out.
Even so, I refused to give up. I found some people on the gallery and headed to the shop, but…
'Where the hell am I?'
That's the last thing I remember. The final image before I lost consciousness was the entrance of the TCG shop I always visited. I had been standing there in a suit under the blazing summer sun, feeling dizzy, and then everything went black.
'Am I hallucinating from heatstroke? Or did I actually die there and now I'm wandering the afterlife…'
The problem was that I hadn't been able to wash my summer clothes because of work. Wearing a suit in this heat was insane. First, I checked my physical condition. The suit I'd been wearing was torn as if I'd been hit by a car, and my deck was gone. There was nothing to prove my identity. I was just standing there blankly in a completely unfamiliar world.
"Hey! You damn kids! Play Beyond in the park or in a store! I've told you a million times not to play near the road because it's dangerous!"
"Uwaaaaaah!!!"
"Run! It's the bald cop!"
"Who are you calling bald?! At least call it a reverse mohawk!!"
Even in the middle of all this, the dream didn't end. The absurd situation continued. Kids who looked like they'd stepped out of the cartoons I watched as a child were summoning monsters from cards and playing with them, now being chased by a friendly-looking balding policeman.
As I stared blankly at the scene, I realized this place was Seoul. But not the Seoul I knew. It had been transformed into a futuristic, blatantly sci-fi cityscape.
'Beyond…'
That must be the name of the card game those kids were playing. At least, I'd never heard of it. No matter how much I loved cards, I wasn't interested in whatever this was.
'If this is the last dream I see before dying, shouldn't it end soon? How long are you going to leave a person standing here like an idiot?'
I slapped my own cheek. It hurt. There was no sign of waking up. Instead, the pain only made everything feel more real. And right in front of me was a TCG shop.
'Obviously not the one I used to go to.'
TCG Beyond Factory
A store named after the card game those kids had been playing. Since it was still early, a sign reading "Closed" hung on the glass door.
When I looked up at the sky again, the scorching sun I remembered was gone. Instead, a dim, twilight-like atmosphere lingered.
'Must be around the time adults start heading to work. No wonder the cop got mad seeing kids out on the road playing cards this early.'
…….
…Who was I even worrying about?
"Fuck. What the hell is this, seriously."
I gave up and collapsed onto the sidewalk, leaning against the store like a bum. I looked exactly like a homeless person, but there was nothing else I could do. My mind was still foggy, and the situation was so impossible that I was starting to feel resigned.
If this were one of those isekai reincarnation stories from the late eighties, the protagonist would probably be thrilled. But unlike those protagonists, I was a normal guy who had been living an ordinary adult life. Despite a late start due to various unfortunate problems, I had finally carved out a proper place in society.
I was too old to be happy about this. I had a meeting tomorrow, rent to pay, meals to eat, a future to think about, and taxes. I couldn't just celebrate being thrown into another world.
'It'd be nice if this was just a hallucination from the heat.'
But the coldness of the pavement against my back told me this was reality. The pain from the torn suit, the slight hunger and thirst, everything felt real.
'I just wanted to play some cards on my day off. How did it come to this?'
I had already been feeling skeptical about the whole card game scene, and now this… As I pondered this strange twist of fate, I suddenly sensed movement inside the store.
Must be the owner. They were working hard even at this early hour. I was inwardly impressed when, as if reading my thoughts, the firmly closed door opened and the owner appeared.
"Oh my. What are you doing here?"
The owner of the place was unexpectedly a woman. And not just any woman—she had the short bob haircut that screamed character design and the perfect miss look. Narrow eyes, large breasts, and an unmistakably sexual figure. A total MILF.
The moment I saw her, my mind went straight to something rude instead of answering.
That's right. They always have one. In a children's cartoon, there's always the "unnecessarily sexy mama character who has more lewd fanart than the actual heroine."
The owner of this store was, without a doubt, that exact type of erotic married woman.