Interlude: The Swamp (2)
“I wasn’t planning to hit your face since bruises show too easily, but you crossed the line, so my hand slipped.”
Soyoung clicked her tongue.
“I’m not the one who can’t control her temper, so don’t make stupid assumptions. It’s a reflex. You know how your knee jerks when someone taps it? That’s not conscious—it’s your body moving on its own. So what kind of reflex does a mutt have when a wild animal threatens its owner? People solve things with words. A dog just bites until the other one can’t get up again. That’s exactly what mentioning my sister is to me.”
She grabbed Nayun by the hair and yanked hard, then leaned in to whisper.
“You don’t have that reflex. No sense at all that some words should never leave your mouth. I’ll make sure you learn it today.”
“A-ahhh! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again!”
Nayun slammed her forehead into the floor while her hair was still being held.
The hand let go. Nayun immediately started banging her head against the ground on her own, convinced the foot would come next.
“I won’t!”
Thud.
“I won’t do it again!”
Thud.
“I!”
Thud.
“Was wrong!”
Thud!
“To Sister!”
Thud.
“I won’t act up again!”
Thud!
A dull, ringing pain spread through her skull. Her vision swam and her angle kept slipping, but she kept slamming down anyway, telling herself this was better.
“For the rest of my life—”
Thud!
“I won’t doubt—”
Thud!
“Sister Master—”
Thud!
“Ever again!”
Thud!
“I won’t even mention her!”
Thud!
She had struck so hard that her body was already failing. Nayun trembled violently with her forehead pressed to the floor. Soyoung finally broke the silence.
“What are you doing? Keep going.”
“…Yes?”
When Nayun looked up in confusion, she saw that Soyoung was completely serious.
“…I get that you’re trying to reflect on your own so you won’t get scolded. But it’s noisy, so stop the ‘greetings’ there. Now start properly.”
“Huh? What…? Uh…?”
“…Is that it? You’re done?”
Soyoung muttered to herself in disbelief.
“If you’d done this in front of Sister, you’d be dead. It’s hardest to go easy on you. Sister’s probably about to explode from frustration because of that woman too. Ahh, I wish she’d use me to blow off steam already. Ha… why is this bitch still just staring? Where did your sense go?”
Soyoung let out a hollow laugh at the sight of Nayun.
“If that little performance was you begging for pity… next time, at least practice pretending to be sincere. That low-level comedy—haah, calling it comedy is generous. Save that kind of thing for brain-dead bitches playing delinquent games with scissors and razors. Or should I bring you scissors and a razor? Want to try making up for it with a full-body shave?”
“H-huh…?! N-no! I’m sorry! Please, please! Forgive me!”
“Hey.”
Squeeze…!
Soyoung hauled Nayun upright and grabbed her breasts, slowly increasing the pressure.
“There’s no one here who’s going to forgive you. So why are you asking me for forgiveness?”
“A-ah…! Ack, ugh, hng…!”
Nayun realized her breasts were a vital point. In movies people foam at the mouth and the abuse stops out of pity, but nothing came out even though she felt like she was dying. Her body endured the pain far too well. She thrashed and pitched forward. Because Soyoung still had her by the hair, she couldn’t fall; she ended up half-leaning against Soyoung, head forced upward, staring into cold eyes.
“…Nayun. Did I tell you to hug me? I’ve said it before—don’t do things I didn’t order.”
“A-ahhh! I-I’m sorry, ugh…! I’m sorry…!”
“…That screaming technique is rather novel. I doubt you’ve been practicing tremolo. Your mouth must be bored. Here.”
Ptoo—!
Soyoung’s spit flew past Nayun’s face and hit the floor.
“If it lands on the floor, you lick it all up. If it lands on your face, you get stepped on for every spot it touches. So if you don’t want that, catch it with your mouth.”
Ptoo!
“A-ah! Ah! Aaaah!”
Ptoo!
“Uwaaaah…! Uueeeh…!”
Ptoo!
She flinched from pain and missed it.
Ptoo!
She focused with her eyes and still missed.
Ptoo!
She forced her mouth open again only to miss.
Ptoo!
Pain blurred her vision and she missed again.
Ptoo!
She knew how pathetic she looked, yet she still strained every muscle trying to catch the spit—and failed.
“What a shame. I didn’t expect a half-wit ape like you to succeed anyway.”
Soyoung smiled down at Nayun sprawled on the floor.
“When you reflect, do it quietly. Don’t go around announcing it to the neighborhood. Banging your head and screaming… you’ll bother the neighbors. Tsk. At your age you still need someone to teach you basic etiquette. Isn’t that right?”
The smile, the voice, the words—all contradicted the actions.
Nayun thought Soyoung was the scariest woman—the scariest person—she had ever met.
“Hah… hah… hah… Y-yes!”
“Lower your voice when you answer.”
“Y-yes…!”
“Good. If you understand, clean the floor. Once it’s all gone, wipe your face.”
“A-ah, yes!”
Nayun didn’t even question whether she was really supposed to use her tongue; she simply obeyed. She had learned that pleasing Soyoung was the only way to survive.
Lick, lick… lick…
Time passed without a single word of praise or mockery. After Nayun had licked up every drop on the floor and wiped the rest from her face, Soyoung stretched and yawned.
“Haaam… Lie face-down and look at the ceiling.”
“Yes…”
Just then, a knock sounded.
Knock knock—
“…!”
Nayun froze in panic.
“Go answer it.”
“Huh…? Are you… sure?”
“Ha… Can’t you understand simple instructions again?”
“N-no, I’m sorry!”
The more relaxed Soyoung acted, the greater Nayun’s terror grew. She felt an irrational certainty that this woman could dispose of her with ease no matter what happened. The thought of reporting Soyoung or getting revenge was ripped out of her mind by the roots.
Without being told, Nayun put on a mask to hide the marks on her face and went to the door.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me.”
It was Nayun’s boyfriend.
“What do you want? Why are you here?”
“I’m sorry about earlier. I brought cheesecake. You like this, right?”
It should have been a gesture to make up, but the timing was disastrous. Nayun felt irritated at her boyfriend and glanced nervously at Soyoung.
Soyoung gave a small nod, signaling it was fine to let him in. Nayun squeezed her eyes shut. The person who should have found this situation most troublesome was completely unbothered, while the person who should have welcomed it was the one suffering.
Creak—
Nayun tried to open the door only a crack to take the cake, but her boyfriend pushed it wider and stepped inside.
“Let’s talk for a—… bit……”
The moment he entered, he froze at the sight of Soyoung.
“Who… is this?”
Nayun hesitated, unable to think of an answer. Soyoung stepped forward first.
“Hello. You must be Nayun’s boyfriend.”
“Oh, uh… yes! My name is xxx!”
“I’m Jeong Soyul. I lost my wallet a while ago and Nayun helped me find it. We became close after that.”
“Ah, I see!”
Her boyfriend kept chatting with Soyoung while Nayun watched, seething. The guy who had come to cheer up his girlfriend with cheesecake had been grinning like an idiot at a pretty woman for ten whole minutes.
(Fuck… ask me why I’m wearing a mask, you piece of shit… I’m your girlfriend, damn it…!)
While Nayun sank into bitter emptiness, Soyoung turned and smiled.
“Nayun, your boyfriend has such a nice voice. He even remembered your favorite cheesecake and brought it because he was worried about you. Where did you find someone so kind? Watching you two being all lovey-dovey makes my heart itch too. I’m jealous.”
“Oh, you don’t have a boyfriend?”
“No. I’m not very good with men, so it never works out.”
“Come on, with your looks you’d be fine just standing still! Guys are just intimidated!”
The moment Nayun saw her boyfriend’s vulgar, stupid laugh alongside Soyoung’s mocking smile, another part of her mind collapsed.
After that, Soyoung continued inventing nonexistent memories with Nayun, quickly building a reason why she and Nayun needed to be alone. The boyfriend listened eagerly and was convinced.
“I’ll stay and talk with Nayun a little longer. See you next time, xx-ssi.”
“Yes! Take care! Nayun, I’m heading out!”
“…Yeah. Go.”
Soyoung took the cheesecake. The boyfriend, looking more cheerful than he had in recent memory, left.
Soyoung’s low, sharp laugh pierced Nayun clearly.
“Your boyfriend’s eyes were quite busy.”
His gaze had kept flicking between Soyoung’s face and chest. Even Nayun had noticed, yet he himself seemed oblivious until the very end.
“That bastard’s terrible at sex. Sister’s way better.”
“……”
Soyoung’s eyes widened. Nayun was shocked too.
(Shit. What did I just say? I complimented the rapist while trying to insult my boyfriend?)
Realizing who she was praising made her falter, but her mouth kept moving.
“He’s got a tiny dick and an ego the size of—”
“Wait. Shut up.”
A stifled laugh escaped Soyoung’s lips.
“Don’t tell me you’re defending the woman who raped you—twice, no less—while throwing your boyfriend under the bus? And you don’t even know her name? Are you two filming a comedy sketch?”
Nayun’s face burned with shame, but it was too late to take it back.
“Fuck. At least I’ve met her twice. That asshole fell for me at first sight.”
“Ha, ahaha!”
Soyoung burst into laughter so hard a tear rolled down her cheek.
“Ah… so this is why people watch animal tricks or mating videos. That was actually kind of funny.”
Even as Soyoung wiped her tears and mocked her, Nayun couldn’t speak. She no longer knew where anything had gone wrong. Everything just felt like shit.
“But Nayun, you shouldn’t say things like that so carelessly.”
Soyoung tossed the cheesecake into the trash and walked toward her.
“That wasn’t a compliment. You were using me as an emotional trash can to vent your petty, pathetic jealousy.”
Step. Step.
“Either I looked ridiculous to you, or you still haven’t learned your lesson…”
Step. Step.
“To borrow your own way of putting it, this situation for me is…”
Stop.
“Not just a little… but very fucking disgusting. Thanks to some bitch.”
At that tone and that look in her eyes, Nayun bowed her head and trembled. It shouldn’t have made sense after everything Soyoung had done, yet when she looked at the situation in isolation, Soyoung’s words felt true. She didn’t even realize that this very way of thinking meant she was already crawling at Soyoung’s feet.
“I-I’m sorry…”
“Boksu-bulbanbun. The saying that once water is spilled, you can’t put it back in the bowl. In Korean, ‘you can’t take back words once spoken.’”
The origin is an old Chinese tale from the Zhou dynasty.
When Jiang Shang remained unemployed into old age, his wife Lady Ma left him. One day King Wen met the fisherman Jiang on the road, recognized his wisdom, and made him chancellor. He later became known as Taigong Wang. Lady Ma returned and begged to be taken back. Jiang poured a bowl of water onto the dirt and said he would accept her if she could gather it again. The water had already turned to mud, and her plea was refused.
“I’m giving you a choice, Nayun, since you spit things out without thinking about the consequences.”
Soyoung held up her index and middle fingers.
“Either go out right now, fuck that monkey, and try to make up… or—”
She folded her middle finger, leaving only the index pointing at the floor.
“Get stepped on and used by me.”
“…Huh?”
“Like last time.”
“Uh… uh… uhh…”
Nayun stammered like a broken machine.
“If you choose the first, put your clothes on and leave. I’ll leave too. If you choose the second, take off what you’re wearing right now and beg in the proper posture.”
In truth, Soyoung had been prepared to accept it if Nayun simply said she would do nothing and let her go.
(Some horny monkeys only look for their own will among the options given… I wonder what you’ll do.)
“U-uhh… uhhhh… huuuh!”
Nayun could only cry, unable to choose either.
(I don’t want either.)
Having sex with that boyfriend was impossible for at least a few days. But she didn’t want to be treated like last time by the woman in front of her either. Her body had felt pleasure, yet nothing about it had been mentally enjoyable. In a way, even the sex had been more psychologically terrifying and painful than being with her boyfriend.
That fact drove Nayun insane.
—Anyway, it’s scarier and more painful than her boyfriend.
Yet she still couldn’t choose.
No matter how shitty her boyfriend had been, it didn’t mean this woman was better than him.
(I don’t know… fuck. This is fucked. Fuck, fuck!)
Nayun took off her clothes.
It wasn’t because she wanted to. It wasn’t the best option, nor even the lesser evil. The hierarchy and sense of submission planted after only two meetings couldn’t be shaken off by simple likes or dislikes.
Just as it’s hard to leave a country, school, or home you hate, just as it’s hard to cut ties with disliked friends, teachers, or family, just as it’s hard to stop work, classes, or meetings you hate—
The moment she saw Soyoung, cruelty rose in her mind and locked her thoughts into a crushed shape. The biggest reason she couldn’t answer that she would go meet her boyfriend was fear that this woman would simply watch in silence.
If Soyoung had been a man, she might have tried to get revenge somehow. But because she was a woman, it was even scarier. For some reason, the power dynamic felt more grotesque and solid than with any man.
A woman who seemed capable of destroying her mentally and socially no matter what.
Drugs, evidence photos, violence, wealth… anything that might even slightly deviate from this woman’s will, anything that could be seen as her own choice, terrified her.
Slide…
Even while thinking she shouldn’t, Nayun finally pulled down her panties and offered a prostrating bow of submission.
“I want to be roughly tormented and then fucked by Sister instead of having makeup sex with my boyfriend… you female-only wallet bitch.”
(Fuck… fuck…!)
Pfft. A delicate laugh burst above Nayun’s head. Soyoung stepped on her and silently mouthed the words.
“Lady Ma left her husband because she couldn’t endure poverty…”
“Seo leaves her boyfriend because she can’t forget an unknown rapist woman…”
“The modern version is more entertaining, but using it as a teaching example would raise ethical issues. The ‘dungeon’ would have a line of monkeys who want to become exactly like her, though.”
Her lips whistled a soft tune.
“It’s been a while. I should update my Findom account.”